Fresh as hell, right?

新鮮極了，對吧？

Addie, don't say hell.

艾迪，別說地獄

You also said butthole in the car.

你在車裡還說了 "屁眼"。

Shut up, Evan, you little Chinese narc.

閉嘴，埃文，你這個中國小緝毒警。

Isn't that necklace heavy?

項鍊很重吧？

Life's heavy, son.

生活是沉重的，孩子

Please, Mom.

求你了，媽媽

Can I get this?

能給我這個嗎？

How much?

多少錢？

Too much.

太多了

Mom thought everything was too much.

媽媽覺得一切都太過分了。

She never understood that you couldn't haggle at JCPenney.

她從不明白在 JCPenney 不能討價還價。

It's like those are set prices, Mom.

這些好像都是固定價格，媽媽。

Jessica, I figured it out.

傑西卡，我想出來了。

Dad, how come we have to start school on a Wednesday?

爸爸，為什麼我們要在星期三開學？

That's a great question. Go to school.

這是個好問題。去上學

Go, go, go, go.

快，快，快，快

I was blow-drying my hair and I figured it out, how the restaurant can attract bigger crowds.

我一邊吹頭髮，一邊琢磨餐廳如何才能吸引更多的人。

What? How?

什麼？

I need to hire a white host.

我需要僱一個白人主持人。

Instead of people coming in and seeing a Chinese face and saying, huh?

而不是人們一進來看到一張中國臉就說，啊？

I thought this was an Old West steakhouse.

我還以為這是一家西部老牛排館。

They see a white face and say, oh, hello, white friend.

他們看到一張白人臉，就會說，哦，你好，白人朋友。

I am comfortable.

我很舒服。

See?

看到了嗎？

Exactly.

沒錯。

Now welcoming.

現在歡迎。

That's why no to your face and yes to the white face.

這就是為什麼你的臉不行，白臉可以。

Nice, happy white face like Bill Pullman.

像比爾-普爾曼（Bill Pullman）一樣漂亮、快樂的白臉。

So, cool if I sit?

我坐著可以嗎？

No.

不

Fine, but don't try to talk to me.

好吧，但別想跟我說話。

I don't like kids.

我不喜歡孩子

My best friend is a 40-year-old man.

我最好的朋友是一個 40 歲的男人。

Yo.

喲。

Yo, Chinese kid.

喲，中國小子

What's your name again?

你叫什麼名字來著？

Something Chinese.

中國的東西

My name's Eddie.

我叫埃迪

Eddie.

埃迪

You into B.I.G.?

你喜歡B.I.G嗎？

Yeah, man.

是啊

He's sick.

他病了

I bought Ready to Die the day it came out.

我在《準備去死》出版的當天就買了。

You bought it?

你買了？

I stole it.

我偷來的

Yo, come sit with us.

喲，來和我們坐一起吧

Yeah?

是嗎？

Okay, man, cool.

好吧，夥計，酷。

A white dude and an Asian dude bonding over a black dude.

一個白人花花公子和一個亞洲花花公子因為一個黑人花花公子而結緣。

This cafeteria is ridiculous.

這個食堂太荒唐了。

What's up? I'm Eddie.

怎麼了？我是埃迪

Hey, dude.

嘿，夥計

Hey, what's up, man?

嘿，怎麼了，夥計？

So my cousin told me about B.I.G.

我的表弟告訴我 B.I.G. 的事。

when I went to visit her.

我去看她的時候

What is that?

那是什麼？

Gross.

噁心

It's Chinese food.

這是中國菜。

My mom makes it.

我媽媽做的

Get it out of here.

把它弄走

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Jing-Ming's eating worms.

晶明在吃蟲子

Go.

去吧

Go home.

回家吧

Get that out of here.

把它拿走

Go.

去吧

Dude, that smells nasty.

老兄，這味道真難聞

Eddie, why are you eating so much?

埃迪，你為什麼吃這麼多？

I'm hungry.

我餓了

Didn't you eat your lunch today?

你今天沒吃午飯嗎？

Yeah, but I'm still hungry.

是啊，但我還是餓。

Oh, okay.

哦，好吧

I know how you like the shawarma.

我知道你喜歡吃沙瓦瑪。

I know how you like the xiaolongbao I pack you.

我知道你喜歡我給你打包的小籠包。

It was really good.

真的很不錯。

Liar.

金光黨

I did not pack xiaolongbao!

我沒帶小籠包！

Okay.

好的

Fine.

很好

I threw my lunch away.

我把午餐扔掉了。

I cannot believe you, Eddie.

我真不敢相信你，埃迪

Come on, Eddie, that's wasteful, man.

拜託，埃迪，這太浪費了，夥計。

This is food I make you.

這是我給你做的食物。

You love my food.

你喜歡我的食物

I need white people lunch.

我需要白人的午餐。

That gets me a seat at the table.

這樣我就有座位了。

And then you get to change the rules.

然後你就可以改變規則。

Represent.

代表

Like Nas says.

就像納斯說的那樣

I'm not trying to eat with a janitor for the rest of my life.

我可不想一輩子和看門人一起吃飯。

I got big plans.

我有個大計劃

First, get a seat at the table.

首先，在桌邊找個座位。

Second, meet Shaq.

第二，見見沙克。

Third, change the game.

第三，改變遊戲規則。

Possibly with the help of Shaq.

可能還有沙克的幫助。

Damn it, that was beautiful.

該死的，太美了

That filthy music you listened to turned you into a poet, boy.

你聽的那些骯髒的音樂把你變成了一個詩人，孩子。

Okay.

好的

What is this white people lunch?

這是什麼白人午餐？

Whoa.

哇哦

This is not how I like to shop.

我不喜歡這樣購物。

This place look like a mess.

這地方看起來一團糟。

This place look like a hospital.

這地方看起來像醫院。

I miss the Taiwanese markets back in D.C.

我很懷念華盛頓特區的臺灣市場。

They make me feel so calm.

它們讓我感覺如此平靜。

Wow.

哇

Everything fits perfectly inside a box.

所有東西都能完美地裝在盒子裡。

Awesome.

棒極了

You want to fit inside a box?

你想裝進盒子裡？

That's so American.

太美國了

Why are you so American?

你為什麼這麼美國？

Fiesta tortilla chip, free sample.

Fiesta 玉米片，免費樣品。

This is free.

這是免費的。

Okay.

好的