How strange, because we have so many new ways to be in touch with the people that we love.

多麼奇怪，因為我們有如此多的新方式與我們所愛的人保持聯繫。

We can move away and still see their faces.

我們可以離開，但仍能看到他們的臉。

Why is it that we're actually getting lonelier?

為什麼我們越來越孤獨？

Well, the answer to that question is that the way that we stay in touch with each other is inadequate to what our brains and hearts need.

這個問題的答案是，我們保持聯繫的方式無法滿足我們大腦和心靈的需要。

Social media has changed the way that we pursue friendship.

社交媒體改變了我們追求友誼的方式。

A lot of young people feel uncomfortable in real life.

很多年輕人在現實生活中感到不自在。

It doesn't feel right to see people in person.

見人的感覺不對。

It might feel confrontational.

這可能會給人一種對抗的感覺。

It might feel like you have some sort of performance anxiety.

你可能會覺得自己有某種表演焦慮症。

More and more young people, they're comfortable talking to other people as long as this media is mediated technologically.

越來越多的年輕人願意與他人交談，只要這種媒體是以技術為媒介的。

There's a neuropeptide in the human brain called oxytocin.

人腦中有一種叫做催產素的神經肽。

That's the intensely pleasurable hormone that links us to our kin, to our friends, to our loved ones, to our families.

這種令人愉悅的荷爾蒙將我們與親人、朋友、夫妻和家庭聯繫在一起。

But you don't get it over Zoom screens, and even less over social media.

但在 Zoom 螢幕上無法實現，在社交媒體上更無法實現。

And so you'll be hungry, and you'll be lonely, and so you'll binge even more on the social media, and it'll get worse and worse and worse.

於是，你會飢餓，你會孤獨，於是你會在社交媒體上更加狂歡，情況會越來越糟。

That's a lot of the reason that we have a loneliness epidemic.

這就是我們的孤獨感流行的主要原因。

We're trying to mediate our relationships with tools that don't do a good job.

我們試圖用一些工具來調解我們之間的關係，但這些工具做得並不好。

Oxytocin requires two things, eye contact and touch.

催產素需要兩樣東西：眼神交流和觸摸。

Those are exactly the two things that you don't get when your relationships are mediated by technology.

這兩點正是以技術為媒介的人際關係所不具備的。

So the best way that you can get oxytocin, and thus the satisfaction that you need from your relationships, has to be somebody who's a real person with you.

是以，獲得催產素的最佳方式，也就是你需要從人際關係中獲得滿足感的最佳方式，必須是一個真正與你在一起的人。

Touch their hand, look them in the eye.

觸摸他們的手，看著他們的眼睛。

Your brain needs it.

你的大腦需要它。

Your brain craves it.

你的大腦渴望它。

Your brain has evolved.

你的大腦已經進化。

Real life is awesome, but you've got to experience it.

現實生活很棒，但你必須親身體驗。

You can't be distracted from it systematically by these technological methods.

你不能被這些技術方法系統地分散注意力。

So a natural question that comes from all of this is, what should we do with social media?

是以，一個自然而然的問題是，我們應該如何對待社交媒體？

Should we have a complete ban on it in our lives?

我們是否應該在生活中全面禁止它？

Should we make it impossible for our kids to use?

我們應該讓孩子們無法使用它嗎？

The answer to that is not necessarily.

答案是不一定。

Here's the iron rule.

這就是鐵律。

If something is a substitute for in real life relationships, it's going to be bad for your happiness.

如果某樣東西可以替代現實生活中的人際關係，它就會對你的幸福不利。

If something is a complement to it, it can be really productive and good.

如果有些東西能與之相輔相成，那就真的能產生很好的效果。

So how do you use social media?

那麼，如何使用社交媒體呢？

That's what really matters.

這才是真正重要的。

Do you use social media to figure out where you're going to meet your friends and what they're up to so you can go see them?

你是否通過社交媒體來了解你將在哪裡與朋友見面，他們在忙些什麼，這樣你就可以去見他們？

Great.

好極了

But that doesn't take very long.

但這並不需要很長時間。

You don't need six hours on Instagram to do that.

你不需要花六個小時在 Instagram 上就能做到這一點。

What you need is a specific period of time that you dedicate to actually catching up with the people in your life that you love.

你需要的是一段特定的時間，專門用來與生活中你所愛的人敘敘舊。