The votes are in, and that's right, you're going to see it, the uncensored version.

投票結果出來了，沒錯，你們將看到它，未經審查的版本。

So I'd like to take this moment to apologise for absolute fuck-all. Enjoy!

是以，我想借此機會為我的所作所為道歉。請慢用

Do I need to preface this with, to tell you that I am a fucking idiot.

我是否需要先告訴你，我是個該死的白痴。

Not just when it comes to cooking, but like painting, general housework, anything really.

不光是做飯，油漆、家務什麼的都是如此。

You see me toss it in the bin, spit it out and show absolutely no respect.

你看我把它扔進垃圾桶，吐出來，完全不尊重它。

But what happens when Deadpool, Wolverine and Tilly join me in this dark random room?

但是，如果死侍、金剛狼和媞利和我一起待在這個昏暗的房間裡，會發生什麼呢？

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to look right here, OK?

我要這麼做我要看這裡，好嗎？

And you're going to count me in at 60 and we're going to work our way down.

你要把我算到 60 歲，然後我們再往下走。

When I hit one, I'm going to nail Jimmy fucking Chongas.

當我打中一個的時候，我要釘死該死的吉米-查納斯。

You heard it here first.

你在這裡先聽到的。

Right, Deadpool and Wolverine have, or shall I say, have had some serious beef.

沒錯，死侍和金剛狼之間，或者我應該說，有過一些嚴重的矛盾。

You mind putting your mask back on? It's super hard to eat while I'm wearing it.

你介意把面具戴上嗎？我戴著它吃東西超難的。

And there's two Ramseys, so it seems only fair that we go head to head in teams.

而且有兩個拉姆塞，所以我們以小組為組織、部門正面交鋒似乎才公平。

Now, Ryan and Tills, I've left you with some very special cooking equipment.

現在，瑞安和提爾斯，我給你們留下了一些非常特別的烹飪設備。

Something I doubt you'll find in the Deadpool's apartment, a fucking air fryer.

在死侍的公寓裡肯定找不到的東西 一個該死的空氣炸鍋

Tilly, seriously?

蒂莉，真的嗎？

Dad, these are cool nowadays.

爸爸，現在這些都很酷。

You're not actually cooking, you're sticking it in the fryer.

你實際上不是在烹飪，而是把它放進油炸鍋裡。

Right?

對不對？

Well, you're what?

你是什麼？

How's that cooking?

烹飪得怎麼樣？

A microwave.

微波爐

A millennial microwave.

千禧微波爐

With radioactivity.

具有放射性。

It's Ramsey versus Deadpool in Wolverine battle.

這是拉姆齊與死侍的金剛狼大戰。

Now, who will come out on top?

現在，誰會勝出呢？

Maybe they'll let one of us into the MCU.

也許他們會讓我們中的一員進入 MCU。

Guys, are we ready?

夥計們，準備好了嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

I feel pretty unsteady, to be honest, but Tills has got it.

老實說，我感覺很不穩定，但蒂爾斯做到了。

In fact, shall we?

事實上，我們可以嗎？

Let's fucking go!

我們走吧

Let's fucking go!

我們走吧

Let's go!

我們走吧

Right, Chummy Changa.

對，查米-昌加

All right, what have we got?

好了，有什麼發現？

Will you start with the herbs, please?

你能從藥草開始嗎？

You're terrifying.

你太可怕了

I'm going to take a digit off you, right?

我要從你身上取走一個數字，對嗎？

Let me just show you.

讓我演示給你看

So grab a little bunch like this first.

所以，先拿上這麼一小束吧。

Yep.

是的。

OK.

好的。

And then just keep your fingers rolled up tightly.

然後把手指緊緊捲起來。

And I'll just show you here.

我就給你看這裡。

Let the knife do the work.

讓刀來做吧。

They're fucking razor sharp.

真他媽鋒利

Quite sweary over there.

那邊挺多髒話的。

I know.

我知道

They're probably not calm like we are.

他們可能不像我們這麼冷靜。

He's manic.

他很狂躁。

Just go nice and slow.

慢慢來

We're going to take it nice and easy.

我們要慢慢來。

I am going to be here sort of speaking in dulcet calm tones while you do almost everything.

在你們做幾乎所有事情的時候，我都會在這裡用沉穩的語調說話。

So do you want to be on frying or chopping?

那麼，你是想炒菜還是切菜？

You're going to make me do something.

你會讓我做一些事情。

OK.

好的。

I don't know.

我不知道。

I should do something.

我應該做點什麼。

You're right, Timo.

你說得對，蒂莫。

I will take the frying, I think, right?

我想，我還是來做油炸吧？

When was the last time you cooked?

你上次做飯是什麼時候？

Yesterday.

昨天

I cook quite a bit.

我經常做飯。

I love that.

我喜歡這樣。

I baked blueberry muffins when I was younger.

我年輕的時候烤過藍莓鬆餅。

Seriously.

我說真的

Yeah, man.

是啊

Amazing.

太神奇了

Cooked a pork chop.

煮了一塊豬排

No, I don't put that in there either, right?

不，我也沒有放進去，對嗎？

No, no, no, that one.

不，不，不，那個。

You can't mean, I put some cheese in.

你不會是說我放了些奶酪吧？

Yes, dad.

是的，爸爸

What are you starting off with?

你打算從什麼開始？

Well, look at him.

看看他

He wants to know.

他想知道

We're just making our filling.

我們只是在做填充物。

Hey, get out of our heads, all right?

嘿，別管我們了，好嗎？

It ain't going to work.

行不通的。

Can we turn that thing on first, Ryan?

我們能先把那東西打開嗎，瑞安？

There's no gas on there.

上面沒有汽油

Absolutely.

當然可以。

This is on full blast.

這是全速前進。

It's not.

不是這樣的。

I don't know what I'm talking about.

我不知道我在說什麼。

You've got to just be tasting it.

你必須品嚐它。

OK, yeah.

好吧

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊，是啊。

I'm going to just bring on some of that.

我就帶了一些。

Some chorizo in there.

還有些香腸

Perfect.

太完美了

A touch of oil.

一點油

Now, more of the chorizo?

現在，還要辣香腸嗎？

Maybe, like, that's, I just dump that in, right?

也許，就像，那是，我只是傾倒，對不對？

I didn't even try to talk to him.

我甚至沒有試著跟他說話。

I have a question about this.

我對此有一個問題。

Please.

請。

Is this cookware, and I know it's expert stuff, am I OK to put metal on it, like this?

我知道這是專家用的炊具，我可以像這樣在上面放金屬嗎？

The metal utensil's safe, Ryan, my man.

金屬器皿是安全的，瑞安，我的男人。

We can scratch all we like.

我們可以盡情抓撓。

It is nonstick.

它是不粘的。

Do you know anyone who might own this cookware line?

您知道誰可能擁有這個系列的炊具嗎？

This one.

這個

Is there a specific line that you just developed for?

有什麼特定的產品線是你剛剛開發的嗎？

Well spotted.

說得好

Yes, I don't, listen, I don't shy away from anything.

是的，我沒有，聽著，我不會迴避任何事情。

Mate, you are on it.

夥計，交給你了。

I know.

我知道

I've got to tell you, this is one thing that my kids now think I'm cool for, cooking with you.

我得告訴你，我的孩子們現在覺得我和你一起做飯很酷。

But even though we're on the same team, if you could find a nice way in there somewhere just to call me like a fucking idiot, that'd be great.

不過，雖然我們是一夥的，但如果你能想個好點的辦法，把我罵得像個白痴，那就再好不過了。

Mate, I'm going to get two little tortillas.

夥計，我去拿兩個小玉米餅。

Like the worst sous chef ever.

就像史上最差的副主廚

What are you?

你是什麼人？

I'm a fucking idiot.

我真他媽是個白痴

Louder!

大點聲

I'm a fucking idiot!

我真他媽是個白痴

Yes, I like how this is going.

是的，我喜歡現在的情況。

My brain tastes chocolate.

我的大腦嚐起來像巧克力。

This is good.

這很好。

This extraordinary mashup, where did the conversation take place between the dead pool and wolverine?

這個非同尋常的混搭，死池和狼獾之間的對話發生在哪裡？

Conversation, cry for help.

對話，呼救。

Very hard to distinguish.

很難區分。

On whose side?

站在哪一邊？

Who won?

誰贏了？

Whose side?

誰的立場？

Who started it?

誰是始作俑者？

I put out an open casting call for a wolverine.

我公開徵集狼獾。

I wanted a middle-aged one, Australian, and this is what I got.

我想要一箇中年的澳大利亞人，這就是我得到的。

The guy that's done it like 100 times already, and came back better than ever.

這傢伙已經做過 100 多次了，而且回來時比以前更好。

But actually, it was Ryan I had talked about, but he's been sort of a scene for a long time.

但實際上，我說的是瑞安，但他已經很久沒有出現過了。

And then one day, August 14, 2022, I was like,

然後有一天，2022年8月14日，我想，

I want to do it.

我想這麼做。

And I pulled over and I called him.

我把車停在路邊，給他打了電話。

The fact that the majority was shot in the UK, right?

事實上，大部分影片都是在英國拍攝的，對嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Any British classics that you've become familiar with?

您熟悉的英國經典作品有哪些？

Oh, dishes.

哦，盤子。

I mean, I love myself a cottage pie, shepherd's pie.

我的意思是，我喜歡鄉村餡餅、牧羊人餡餅。

Love that.

我喜歡

Love that.

我喜歡

Do you know the difference between a cottage and a shepherd's?

你知道山寨和牧羊人的區別嗎？

No, I was going with classic movies, but I guess.

不，我想說的是經典電影。

I didn't even, it didn't even occur to me that it was something that goes in your mouth.

我甚至都沒有想到，那是一種可以放進嘴裡的東西。

What does a shepherd look after?

牧羊人要照顧什麼？

Pull your heads out of your asses for five seconds.

把你們的腦袋從屁股裡拿出來五秒鐘。

Do I need to put two top tens on your ears?

我需要在你耳朵上貼兩張十元紙嗎？

Do it.

動手吧

Let's go.

我們走吧

Oh, God.

哦，上帝啊

I want it.

我想要

Oh, I love it.

哦，我喜歡。

Oh, I never went to college.

哦，我沒上過大學。

What are you?

你是什麼人？

Oh, I cheated at Wordle.

哦，我在 Wordle 上作弊了。

What is this?

這是什麼？

What is this witchcraft?

這是什麼巫術？

Shepherd looks after fucking sheep.

牧羊人照看著該死的羊。

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

A cottage pie is made with beef.

山寨派是用牛肉製作的。

I like the shaving part, but I don't do much else with the sheep.

我喜歡剃毛的部分，但我對羊不感興趣。

I don't know.

我不知道。

Any food in the UK you wouldn't eat?

英國有什麼食物是你不會吃的嗎？

I love all food in the UK, particularly a Gordon Ramsay restaurant.

我喜歡英國的所有美食，尤其是戈登-拉姆塞餐廳。

That is where the food has been especially ordered and cooked on Gordon Ramsay's.

這就是戈登-拉姆塞餐廳特別訂製和烹飪的食物。

I actually cooked it from home and sent it to the restaurant to make sure.

實際上，我是在家裡做的，然後送到餐廳去確認。

I'm not so.

我不這麼認為。

This is the thing that you and I talked.

這就是你和我說過的事情。

Why are you acting surprised, Gordon?

你幹嘛這麼驚訝 戈登

Come on.

來吧

Right, we're building.

好的，我們正在建造。

Chills, can we do some work, please?

寒戰，我們能做點工作嗎？

I'm sorry, we're doing it.

對不起，我們正在做。

Jesus.

天啊

You're always picking on him.

你總是挑他的毛病。

Right.

對

But you are, you're sort of like, I need help.

但是你，你有點像，我需要幫助。

Yeah, you're like the brother who doesn't get any love.

是啊，你就像一個得不到愛的弟弟。

Why so much bullying on this man?

為什麼這麼欺負他？

Because I'm vacant on the inside.

因為我內心空虛。

I can't feel anything unless I'm hurting him.

除非我在傷害他，否則我什麼都感覺不到。

I mean, come on, man, he needs some love.

我的意思是，別這樣，夥計，他需要一些愛。

I missed all the hugs as a child.

我懷念小時候的擁抱。

And I'm exacting my revenge on Jacqueline.

我要向傑奎琳復仇

You know what's funny is that we are outwardly, yes, very,

有趣的是，我們的外表，是的，非常、

I think I would say that we are argumentative.

我想我會說，我們是在爭論。

But actually, in real life, we are like gentle.

但實際上，在現實生活中，我們就像溫柔的人一樣。

Yeah, everything is our feelings, talking about stuff.

是啊，一切都是我們的感受，談論的東西。

It is.

就是這樣。

So it's obvious who wins at an arm wrestle.

所以，掰手腕誰贏是顯而易見的。

Look at those fucking guns, man.

看看那些該死的槍

I don't know, check this out.

我不知道，看看這個。

Jesus Christ almighty.

萬能的耶穌基督

Come on.

來吧

The bicep veins are bigger than my whole gun show here.

二頭肌的青筋比我這裡的整個槍展還粗。

Look at that.

看看這個。

Guess what I do?

猜猜我是做什麼的？

Leg day.

綁腿日

Because I care.

因為我在乎

Stop it.

別說了

Seriously?

真的嗎？

Yeah, I do leg day.

是的，我每天都練腿。

You've got legs like quails.

你的腿像鵪鶉一樣長

Regular facials.

定期面部護理

You know, I've got 47, right?

你知道，我有47個，對吧？

I'm getting a, yeah.

我得到了一個，是的。

I can't afford a Brazilian butt lift, but I'm getting a Croatian one.

我沒錢做巴西式提臀術，但我要做克羅地亞式提臀術。

And I'm here that they're fabulous.

在這裡，我覺得它們非常棒。

What's the difference between Croatian and Brazilian?

克羅地亞語和巴西語有什麼區別？

Sterile tools, mostly.

主要是無菌工具。

Wow.

哇

OK.

好的。

The abundance of bacteria.

大量的細菌

Moving on.

繼續前進。

Shit, I just want to cover Tilly's ears.

媽的，我真想捂住媞利的耳朵。

You shouldn't be listening to this.

你不應該聽這個。

No, you shouldn't be listening to this vulgarity.

不，你不應該聽這些粗俗的話。

I just start screaming the truth when that happens.

遇到這種情況，我就會開始大喊真相。

Oh my god.

我的天啊

Right, can we build?

好了，我們可以建造了嗎？

Can we start to build?

我們可以開始建設嗎？

We've started.

我們已經開始了。

You're behind.

你落後了

Is there something that you just won't eat, that even doesn't matter where it comes from, something you just like?

有什麼東西你就是不吃，甚至不管它來自哪裡，你就是喜歡吃？

Yeah, I was in Hawaii recently, and we were looking at these incredible cattle.

是啊，我最近在夏威夷，我們看到了這些不可思議的牛。

And they were castrating these poor little bastards.

他們正在閹割這些可憐的小混蛋。

I'll do the cooking, Gordon.

我來做飯 戈登

Chat away.

哈拉吧

And so deep frying these cows' testicles, and then putting these kids, these things, back in the field.

炸掉這些牛的睪丸 然後把這些孩子 這些東西放回田裡去

That wasn't very nice.

這可不太好。

So wait, people eat the, they're going to eat the-

所以等等，人們會吃，他們會吃--

Literally castrate them.

從字面上看，就是閹割他們。

Oh god, yeah.

哦，上帝，是的。

Little light dusting, a little dredge with some smoked paprika.

撒上少許灰塵，再用煙燻辣椒粉稍微醃製一下。

Fry, and then literally putting the cow back in.

油炸，然後真的把牛放回去。

It's not often you can't decide who it's worse for.

不知道誰更糟糕的情況並不多見。

And that's on Disney, by the way.

順便說一句，這是在迪斯尼。

Guys, this looks pretty good.

夥計們，這看起來不錯。

Hugh, the more spice for Hugh, the better, by the way.

休，順便說一句，休的香料越多越好。

Because it's going in the air fryer, it's going to get so nice and melted.

因為要放在空氣炸鍋裡，所以會變得非常融化。

Wait, so this whole sucker goes in the air fryer?

等等，這整個都要放進空氣炸鍋裡？

Yeah.

是啊

Wow.

哇

So they're going to start pan frying it, which is risky, because it might, might burst.

所以他們要開始煎炸它，這是有風險的，因為它可能會爆裂。

You guys are like a swap team.

你們就像一個交換小組。

Way less violent.

暴力程度更低

OK.

好的。

Tails.

尾巴

Less talking, more cooking.

少說話，多做飯

Come on, girl.

來吧，女孩。

We're doing both.

我們兩者都在做。

I have a question, though.

不過，我有一個問題。