Concord's got a beta out pimps.

康科德有一個皮條客測試版。

No monologue on this video Let's just get right into my first impression.

這段視頻沒有獨白，讓我們直接進入我的第一印象。

Okay.

好的

All right Concord is like the netflix adaption of overwatch They spent way too much money on it and took every last character to the ironing board Everyone caught around to budget cuts even yeah, they did damn.

他們花了太多的錢，把每一個角色都熨平了，每個人都被預算削減搞得焦頭爛額。

Yeah true bastions curves away They turned his ass into a 1000 gallon trash dumpster I didn't I didn't even know they made plus size robots.

他們把他的屁股變成了一個 1000 加侖的垃圾箱，我不知道，我甚至不知道他們還生產大號機器人。

They don't even get me started on doors This you ain't never gonna see a girl from only fans cosplaying this at anime convention I'll tell you that guardian of the galaxy looking ass.

他們甚至沒有讓我開始門，你是永遠不會看到一個女孩從只有球迷cosplay在動漫大會上，我會告訴你，銀河系守護者看起來屁股。

Well, listen, i'm not here to make fun of old fucking blueberry Yeah, it's for modern audience if the modern audience is a golden corral Willy wonka let's talk about the game Before we get to talking about the game one last thing honestly concord is so shit that it broke obs and destroyed all my recording So go ahead and use your imaginations to see the other missing 59 frames.

好吧，聽著，我不是來取笑該死的老藍莓的 是啊，這是給現代觀眾看的 如果現代觀眾是金色畜欄威利旺卡 讓我們來談談遊戲 在我們開始談遊戲之前，最後一件事 老實說，Concord太爛了，它毀了我所有的錄像

This really the game Bro, i've seen mobile games that have a less intrusive ui than this.

這真是個遊戲兄弟，我見過的手機遊戲的交互界面都比它的小。

This is crazy.

這太瘋狂了

Like what the fuck?

搞什麼鬼？

God damn, yeah, this sucks This is real bad.

該死的，是的，這太糟糕了。

It's real bad.

真的很糟糕。

It's a real real real bad Second okay.

這是一個真正的真正的壞第二好嗎。

All right, let's do it.

好吧，我們開始吧

Let's get into it First off playstation's never gonna beat the movie game allegations If every time they steal an idea their twist is just adding expensive cgi cut scenes to it I'm sure sony heard that overwatch fans just love watching overwatch movies.

首先，遊戲機永遠不可能打敗電影遊戲指控，如果他們每次竊取一個創意時，都只是在其中添加昂貴的 cgi 剪輯場景，我相信索尼聽說《守望先鋒》的粉絲們就喜歡看《守望先鋒》的電影。

I just don't think they were clued in Yeah, they don't know what the movies are like.

我只是覺得他們不瞭解 是啊，他們不知道電影是什麼樣的。

This is the thing.

事情就是這樣。

I bet overwatch porn is more popular than overwatch Like I mean, let's be real What kind should they probably at least say blizzard knows right because you know bro like you think they're bringing in a new character like this Like because they were bringing out some weird-ass characters And i've had overwatch stocks were going down like this And somebody at blizzard was like guys You know what we have to do Everybody knows what we have to do like We have to make something for the fans out there and i'm not talking about the fans of our game Talking to fans talking about the fans of our characters Like this is it right fans yeah, like what do you mean like, of course Just love watching overwatch movies.

我打賭《守望先鋒》的A片比《守望先鋒》還火他們至少應該說暴雪知道吧 因為你知道兄弟 你覺得他們會帶來這樣的新角色 因為他們會帶來一些奇怪的角色 我的超視界股票就這樣跌了 暴雪的人就說 夥計們 你們知道我們該怎麼做 大家都知道我們該怎麼做 我們得為粉絲做點什麼 我不是說我們遊戲的粉絲什麼意思？ 當然是喜歡看《守望先鋒》的電影

I just don't think they were clued into what kind shit They probably at least spent tens of thousands of dollars making these only for 70 percent of drug-addled overwatch players to immediately Hammer that skip button, especially when old paul blart strip mall cop comes shuffling and fucking dog You think fancy trailers can make up for your shitty gameplay.

我只是不認為他們知道是什麼樣的狗屎，他們可能至少花了數萬美元製作這些東西，只是為了讓 70% 吸毒成癮的《守望先鋒》玩家立即錘那個跳過按鈕，尤其是當老保羅-巴拉特（Paul Blart）條形商場警察來洗牌和他媽的狗時。

What do you world of warcraft second and look and hey that trailer suck Hey, whenever this trip, nah, I don't want to hear any of this shit.

你做什麼魔獸世界第二，看看，嘿嘿，拖車吸嘿，每當此行，不，我不想聽到任何這些狗屎。

So this trailer pissed me the fuck off This made me so I when I remember when I saw this I was like fuck man What's this bullshit Kung fu panda garbage What do you mean that trailer is cool nah, it's it's nah, this is the first soft modern trailer This was soft.

所以，這個預告片讓我很不爽，這讓我很不爽，我記得當我看到這個預告片的時候，我就像他媽的男人，這是什麼狗屁功夫熊貓垃圾，你的意思是預告片很酷吶，這是它的吶，這是第一個柔軟的現代預告片，這是柔軟的。

You go look at garrosh and grom hellscream killing manoroth With no shirts on sweating and and there's blood everywhere like that's what I wanted to see not this pussy shit What do you mean?

你去看看加爾羅什和格羅姆 地獄驚魂殺馬諾羅斯 沒穿上衣大汗淋漓 到處都是血 就像我想看的一樣 而不是這些娘娘腔的東西 你什麼意思？

Craft second and let's get that powerpoint up on the screen.

稍等片刻，讓我們把演示文稿放到螢幕上。

Even the gameplay has thyroid issues I know sony like slow dragged out games, but my 600 pound life like moving on a bunch of physically fit heroes and dog Yeah, it's like here's another thing, right?

我知道索尼喜歡慢吞吞的遊戲，但我 600 磅的生命就像在一群體格健壯的英雄和狗身上移動，這就像另一件事，對吧？

Is like I mean, I guess that you have You have road hog But Road hog is fatter than this and it somehow looks better than this So Like road hog is me, yeah Dog is painful.

我的意思是，我猜你有路豬，但路豬比這個胖，而且看起來比這個好，所以路豬就是我，是的，狗很痛苦。

It doesn't matter if you're playing is this thing or blue balls here you shuffle everywhere We do have footage of totally not winston's run.

不管你是在玩這個還是在玩藍球，你都要到處洗牌，我們有完全不是溫斯頓跑壘的錄像。

Look at that run.

看那一跑。

That's not even a jog.

這還不算慢跑。

That's barely even speed walking You're embarrassing yourself.

你這是在自取其辱。

No, what's worse than the movement is the time to kill in all fairness.

不，平心而論，比運動更糟糕的是殺人的時間。

Damn, bro.

該死的，兄弟。

Like let me see that again Walking you're embarrassing yourself.

讓我再看一遍，走著走著你就尷尬了。

No, what's worse than the movement is the time to ease Holy fuck god.

不，比運動更糟糕的是放鬆的時間。

Damn.

該死

What the fuck they put money into this?

他們把錢都花在這上面了？

Damn, that's too bad Oh man think about how much how much they spent on this game No fan service either It's not even about having fan service It's about having a character that people want to be Like But road hog has personality he's cool and it doesn't really show his face right he's not really a person in a way nobody wants to be Fucking these weird ass ugly characters.

這不是粉絲服務的問題，而是要有一個讓人想成為的角色，就像 "路霸 "一樣，他有個性，很酷，但並沒有真正展示出他的臉，他不是一個真正的人，沒有人想成為他。

Like nobody wants to do this.

好像沒人願意這麼做似的。

Like it's it's gross.

好像很噁心

Like what are you talking about?

你在說什麼？

You want to be one of those people you go to walmart You go to walmart and just take your card and run around with your car you're going to play concord It's pretty much the same thing.

你想成為那些去沃爾瑪的人，你去沃爾瑪，拿著你的卡，開著你的車到處跑，你要去玩協和，這幾乎是一回事。

You're going to see the same people All fairness pvp games where you have to shoot people for Presidential terms in order to kill him has never really been my bag Let me show you a few minutes before concord shut off my body cam Look at low t doom guy firing five rockets to kill the enemy.

你會看到同樣的人 所有公平的 pvp 遊戲中，你都必須射殺總統條款的人，才能殺死他，這從來都不是我的強項，讓我給你看看在 concord 關閉我的人體攝影機之前的幾分鐘，看看低 t doom 的傢伙發射五枚火箭殺死敵人。

Look at this sniper damage.

看看這個狙擊手的傷害。

Look at door He's got that hot dog with it.

看看門，他還帶著熱狗。

Look at this lmg damage John lewis of the lewis gun just died for a second time after seeing that and I know you're saying How is it?

我知道你會說，這怎麼可能？

How is it possible that you could go and make a game like this?

你怎麼可能做出這樣一款遊戲？

Like I just don't understand like what what were they thinking that they thought that they could make overwatch?

我就是不明白，他們到底是怎麼想的，以為自己能做出《守望先鋒》？

They said over overwatch 2 they try to make overwatch 3.

他們說，在《守望先鋒 2》之後，他們會努力製作《守望先鋒 3》。

They made overwatch 0 This is just a worse version of like overwatch when it came out was better than this Like how did this get greenlit?

他們把《守望先鋒》做成了《0》，這只是《守望先鋒》的劣質版本，《守望先鋒》剛出來時比這個好。

This is amazing bro, like what are you doing?

這太棒了，兄弟，你在做什麼？

They're delude from the positive positivity, I don't know Let's use overwatch gunplay.

他們妄想從正面積極的，我不知道讓我們使用超視距槍戰。

That is actually my point overwatch is shit And this no, no overwatch is way better than this overwatch plays infinitely better than this.

這其實就是我的觀點，《守望先鋒》就是一坨屎，而這個不，不，《守望先鋒》比這個好得多，《守望先鋒》玩起來比這個好太多了。

It looks better It's more visually appealing the character movements are are more fluid Uh the way that people lose health is but everything about overwatch is better than this It's even worse grow up and go get shot in kaboom like the rest of us very slow very clunky not fun Not good.

它看起來更好，更有視覺吸引力，人物動作更流暢，但《守望先鋒》的一切都比這個好。

I'd rather be at the whoopee goldberg diablo 4 crossover event than here playing this god damn third Let's all laugh at the player account for a moment People didn't even want to play the game for free But they didn't want to play the other overwatch knockoff That's true.

我寧願去參加《暗黑破壞神 4》的跨界活動，也不願意在這裡玩這個該死的老三 讓我們一起嘲笑一下玩家賬戶吧 人們甚至不想免費玩這款遊戲，但他們不想玩另一款《守望先鋒》的山寨版 這倒是真的。

This was so funny.

這太有趣了。

What was the game that you had to buy in order to get in onto the game?

你必須購買什麼遊戲才能進入遊戲？

Was it marvel rivals you had to buy it i'm trying to remember Concord no besides concord There was another one I thought it was yeah, it might have been this yeah marvel rivals well either way, um So you look at marvel rivals.

是 "驚奇對手 "嗎？ 你必須買嗎？ 我在努力回想 除了 "協和 "之外，沒有了 還有一個我以為是 "驚奇對手

Everybody said oh, well, it's just the beta.

大家都說，哦，好吧，這只是測試版。

It's just the beta.

這只是測試版。

Let me see marvel uh marvel Rivals look at this Oh, it's not out.

讓我看看 Marvel 呃 Marvel Rivals 看看這個 Oh, it's not out.

Yeah, well either way, um, you can see right here 52 000 people played it So this whole idea that like oh, of course people aren't going to play it.

是啊，不管怎樣，嗯，你可以看到這裡有 52000 人玩過它，所以整個想法就像哦，人們當然不會玩它。

It's just a beta totally fucking deleted completely fucking argument destroyed And so do I Number five this may be the most budget cut History it used to be an agreed upon This may be the most budget cut raw, why would you why would anybody want to be this like Foster in history you I just used to be an agreed upon fact that sex sells now It's an obvious fact that budget cuts bankrupt realism's getting a little too real Isn't it nether realm you go look at the more successful beta going on right now?

這只是一個測試版 完全他媽的刪除 完全他媽的論據銷燬 我也一樣 五號 這可能是最 削減預算的歷史 它曾經是一個商定 這可能是最 削減預算的原始，你為什麼會 為什麼會有人想成為這個樣子 福斯特在歷史上，你我只是用來作為一個商定的事實 性賣點，現在它是一個明顯的事實 預算削減破產 現實主義的變得有點太真實了 是不是它的陰界 你去看看更成功的測試版 怎麼回事呢？

And the heroes look like hero storm is causing a storm in my jorts my soul.

英雄們看起來就像英雄風暴一樣，在我的牛仔褲裡、我的靈魂裡掀起了一場風暴。

Yeah, she's hot as hell You know why because hallie barry played storm back in the 90s for x-men.

是啊，她辣得要命，你知道為什麼，因為哈利-巴里在 90 年代的《X 戰警》中扮演過暴風女。

I remember that Anybody who watched x-men remembers that?

我記得，看過《X 戰警》的人還記得嗎？

My jorts my soulmate man, which punisher is built like a fucking mountain.

我的短褲，我的知己，懲罰者就像一座山。

He is on test My very same beautiful voluptuous pear-shaped build I want to play as a man that has used so many steroids Yeah, you won't see 35 this is a hero shooter where our heroes are the residents of seattle I can't wait for the homeless hero.

他正在接受測試，我也想扮演一個使用過大量類固醇的男人。 是的，你不會看到 35 這是一款英雄射擊遊戲，我們的英雄是西雅圖的居民。

This is a hero shooter where our heroes.

這是一款英雄射擊遊戲，我們的英雄將在遊戲中大顯身手。

Why would they give her?

他們為什麼要給她？

Why would they give her thug nificence haircut?

他們為什麼要給她剪一個暴發戶式的髮型？

Like from the boondocks like why it's just so weird For real no for real like what?

就像從荒郊野外來的一樣 怎麼這麼奇怪 真的假的 像什麼？

Is Of seattle, I can't wait for the homeless hero that throws pocket Oh my god It'd be like mccree stun grenade just bam and then you're knocked out for the next four to six hours I'm getting off track and I make fun of the pronouns But but to be honest these things came in handy I had to use this shit like a star guide to some of these constellations just to show you this in action You see that guy right there?

在西雅圖，我迫不及待地想看到無家可歸的英雄扔口袋 哦，我的上帝，這就像麥克裡眩暈手榴彈 只是咣噹一聲，然後你會被擊倒 在接下來的四到六個小時，我越來越偏離軌道 我取笑的代名詞，但說實話 這些東西派上了用場 我不得不使用這個狗屎 像一個明星指南 這些星座中的一些 只是為了顯示這在行動 你看到那個傢伙就在那裡？

That's one big ass dipper right there.

這是一個大屁股北斗七星。

Jesus two seconds man or lady wrong Not that you big ass dipper right there.

天哪，兩秒鐘就錯了，男人或女士，別這樣，你這個大笨蛋。

Jesus two seconds Jesus This looks like a background character from hell boy, too Like what is it what the fuck it's man or lady wrong now that you bigoted son of a bitch undecided They're undecided why would you put like the gender that like it doesn't know what gender it is.

天啊，兩秒鐘，天啊，這看起來就像來自地獄的背景人物，太像了，這他媽是什麼，是男人還是女人，錯了，你這個偏執的狗孃養的未定，他們是未定的，你為什麼要把喜歡的性別，就像它不知道它是什麼性別。

Oh my god Oh What the who the fuck was this for They forgot maybe it's undecided because the developers haven't figured it out Look at this roster You got buzz heavy here discord moderator piss filter yondu black widow maker tumblr fursona glaucoma guilt the trash man If you self-identify as a trash player special forces the experts on it This lady I wonder since she's a a more uh, you know masculine female character with short hair, I I hope they don't make her a lesbian, you know, like I wonder what do you think the odds are that they're gonna try to make her a lesbian?

我的天啊 這他媽是為誰準備的 他們忘了 也許是因為開發者還沒弄明白 所以還沒決定 看看這個花名冊 你這裡很熱鬧 迪斯科德版主 尿液過濾器 勇度 黑寡婦製造者 坦布爾 Fursona 青光眼內疚的垃圾人 如果你自認為是個垃圾玩家 特種部隊的專家們就知道了 這位女士 我想知道 既然她是個短髮的男性化女性角色我希望他們不要把她塑造成一個女同性戀，你知道，我想知道你覺得他們會把她塑造成一個女同性戀的機率有多大？

I'd say it's like at least 89 98.

我覺得至少有 89 98。

Yeah somewhere in there 100.

是的，就在那 100 釐米的地方。

It's crazy to me man It's really something Isn't that a stereotype?

這對我來說太瘋狂了，老兄，這真的很了不起，這難道不是一種刻板印象嗎？

That's the funny thing about it, isn't it You know, I got nothing she's the only one on this roster that actually does damage 2007's heart attack grill winner soldier 75 the heavier weapons guy african-american sniper hank hill ass florida gators fan looking Shubby, buddy.

這就是有趣的地方，不是嗎？ 你知道，我什麼都沒有 她是這個花名冊上唯一一個真正造成傷害的人 2007年心臟病燒烤冠軍 75號阿兵哥，重型武器傢伙 非洲裔美國狙擊手漢克-希爾的屁股 佛羅里達鱷魚隊的球迷在找舒比，夥計。

Motherfucker this thing that looks like a crawled out of doors your goggles stay on during sex looking ass big ass, baby That's one big ass, baby the new blade michael jackson pre-allegations Shit lord mom did that lordy mart that one's a thinker that one's for the rainbow six fans out there the goon goblin Wait, what did that lordy mart that one's a thinker that one's for the rain?

媽的，這東西看起來像爬出了門 你的護目鏡保持在性愛期間 看起來屁股大屁股，寶貝 這是一個大屁股，寶貝 新的刀片邁克爾-傑克遜 前legations 媽的，主媽媽做的，Lordy mart，一個是一個思想家，一個是彩虹6粉絲在那裡的 goon goblin 等等，什麼做的，Lordy mart，一個是一個思想家，一個是雨嗎？

What the fuck?

搞什麼鬼？

Rainbow six fans out there the goon goblin.

彩虹六號的粉絲們，你們的小妖精。

Wait, wait, hold up Oh Man this sucks It's just like I don't even know what to say Seems easy to headshot.

等一下，等一下，等一下 哦，天哪，這太糟糕了，我都不知道該說什麼了 好像很容易就能爆頭。

Yeah You know what this is like This is like if you got a doom guy cosplay from wish This is the this is the version that you get at the flea market The silverware surfer except the only thing he surfs is door dash fat alberta.

是的，你知道這是什麼樣子的，這就像如果你從願望中得到了一個厄運傢伙的cosplay，這是這個版本，你在跳蚤市場上得到的銀器衝浪者，除了他唯一的衝浪是門破折號脂肪阿爾伯塔省。

I got you And last but not least token white, all right, that's enough i've got nothing for the talking refrigerator now What about oh my god in there?

最後是象徵性的白色，好了，夠了，我現在沒東西給會說話的冰箱了 哦，我的上帝在裡面呢？

But quentin tarantino's foot fetish already caught me one strike this week.

但昆汀-塔倫蒂諾的戀足癖本週已經讓我吃了一次虧。

I'm gonna lay low for a bit pimps It's all good.

我要低調一點，皮條客，一切都很好。

Papa neil.

尼爾爸爸

All I ask is that next time you don't deadname me.

我只要求你下次不要再給我起死名字了。

All right, i'm hurt Thanks for watching everyone.

好了，我受傷了 謝謝大家的觀看。

I gotta go.

我得走了

I gotta start drafting up my appeal for the inevitable strike.

我得開始為不可避免的罷工起草上訴書了。

This video is gonna receive.

這段視頻將被接收。

Goodbye Thanks to the flock of pimps for bankroll in this video and another huge Thanks to all the pimpers for going the extra mile.

再見，感謝本視頻中的皮條客們為我們提供的資金，同時也非常感謝所有皮條客們為我們提供的額外幫助。

I will see you all when I see you This guy is great.

再見時再見，這傢伙棒極了。

I really like his videos like I watched a freakazoid the first video that I watched of his was actually him Talking shit about me I think he's great man.

我真的很喜歡他的視頻，比如我看了一個怪胎的視頻，我看的第一個視頻其實是他在說我的壞話，我覺得他很棒。

He's really good There's a video give it a like.

他真的很棒，有一段視頻，請點贊。

Yeah, it's great energy.

是啊，能量巨大。

I know man.

我知道

It's funny the things are it's just fucking funny They're finally not gonna ruin our games.

他們終於不會毀了我們的遊戲了。

They're gonna make their own.

他們會自己做。

Hey, here's the thing though, right?

嘿，事情是這樣的，對吧？

Isn't it a good thing that they actually they went and they made their own game this time?

他們這次真的去做了自己的遊戲，這難道不是一件好事嗎？

They made their own game And now you get to see if people actually like it or not to be honest with you The gameplay seemed pretty mediocre.

他們製作了自己的遊戲，現在你可以看看人們到底喜不喜歡這款遊戲，老實說，遊戲性似乎很一般。

I think people would have played this if it seemed all right But it's like this combined with like a lot of the you know The messaging like I don't know why like why would you have a hero shooter?

如果它看起來還不錯，我想人們會去玩的，但它就像這樣與很多你知道的資訊結合在一起，就像我不知道為什麼，為什麼你會有一個英雄射擊遊戲？

And all the heroes look weird like who the fuck wants to have a hero shooter?

而且所有的英雄看起來都怪怪的，就像誰他媽想要一個英雄射手？

Like yeah, we're gonna go pick out, uh, you know six people from walmart and we're gonna put them in a game Well, which one do you want to be?

我們要從沃爾瑪挑出六個人 然後把他們放進遊戲裡 你想當哪一個？

Well, I tell you one thing.

好吧，我告訴你一件事。

I want to be at target.

我想成為目標。

Fuck that I want to be somewhere else

去他媽的，我想去別的地方