For the last 5-6 years, I struggled with binge eating and bodied smorphia quite a lot.

在過去的五六年裡，我經常與暴飲暴食和身體畸形作鬥爭。

And no matter what method I would give it a try, having a healthy relationship with my body and with food seemed like impossible.

無論我嘗試什麼方法，要想與自己的身體和食物建立健康的關係似乎都是不可能的。

But over the years, I've learned that it's not about lack of motivation or willpower even though a lot of people say that way.

但多年來，我認識到這與缺乏動力或意志力無關，儘管很多人都這麼說。

It's about mastering a skill we all can learn doing the hard work without relying on motivation.

這是關於掌握一門我們都能學會的技能，不需要依靠動力，只要努力就能學會。

When I started to dig deeper into how we can control ourselves, I've stumbled upon a book called The Marshmallow Test.

當我開始深入研究我們如何控制自己時，我偶然發現了一本名為《棉花糖測試》的書。

It's basically about a study where they gave children a choice to either consume one marshmallow immediately or wait and receive two marshmallows later to measure their ability to delay instant gratification aka doing the hard work.

基本上是關於這樣一項研究：他們讓孩子們選擇立即吃掉一個棉花糖，或者等一下再吃兩個棉花糖，以衡量他們延遲即時滿足感的能力，也就是做艱苦工作的能力。

I probably would fail.

我可能會失敗。

You might think that the test was a simple psychological experiment, but in follow-up studies, they found that the children who managed to wait longer were assessed as being more successful in life.

你可能會認為這個測試只是一個簡單的心理實驗，但在後續研究中，他們發現那些能夠等待更長時間的孩子被評估為在生活中更成功。

So they were better at focusing, planning, and also they scored higher on their SATs and also were better at maintaining personal relationships.

是以，他們更善於集中精力、制定計劃，在 SAT 考試中得分更高，也更善於維護人際關係。

They also scanned the participants' brains and they found that those who excelled in the marshmallow test, so those who waited, had much more activation in their prefrontal cortex, the front part of their brain.

他們還掃描了參與者的大腦，發現那些在棉花糖測試中表現出色的人，也就是那些等待的人，大腦前額葉皮層（即大腦前部）的激活程度要高得多。

So what does it mean?

這意味著什麼？

How does the activation in our prefrontal cortex relate to delaying gratification?

前額葉皮層的激活與延遲滿足感有何關係？

I know it sounds complicated, but let me explain.

我知道這聽起來很複雜，但請聽我解釋。

Our self-control depends on two systems that are functioning in our body.

我們的自控力取決於我們體內正在運行的兩個系統。

One that instantly reacts to our environment and one that controls our behavior.

一個能對環境做出即時反應，一個能控制我們的行為。

Our emotions and basic biological needs are regulated by our limbic system, also called the HOT system.

我們的情緒和基本生理需求由邊緣系統（也稱為 HOT 系統）調節。

So the HOT system immediately reacts to any arousing stimuli.

是以，HOT 系統會立即對任何喚醒刺激做出反應。

So let's say when a child sees a marshmallow, his HOT system makes him want to eat it right away instead of patiently waiting for more.

比方說，當孩子看到棉花糖時，他的 HOT 系統會讓他想馬上吃掉，而不是耐心地等待更多。

On the other hand, we also have a COOL system.

另一方面，我們還有一個 COOL 系統。

So it's located in our prefrontal cortex, so in the front part of our brain, and it's the part of our brain that's responsible for self-control.

是以，它位於我們的前額葉皮層，也就是大腦的前部，是大腦中負責自我控制的部分。

Now it's starting to make a lot of sense.

現在它開始變得有意義了。

The COOL system is essential for making decisions, for planning or anything, you know, making decisions and planning ahead, etc, etc.

COOL 系統對決策、規劃或任何事情都至關重要，你知道，決策和提前規劃，等等。

So when we need to control ourselves, our COOL system is active.

是以，當我們需要控制自己時，我們的 COOL 系統就會啟動。

And people with ADHD, like me, has lower activation in their prefrontal cortex, which means that their ability to control themselves is lower.

而像我這樣的多動症患者，前額葉皮質的激活程度較低，這意味著他們控制自己的能力較低。

I don't know why I'm so hyped up about it, like it's like one of the things that ruins my life.

我不知道為什麼我對它如此熱衷，就好像它是毀掉我生活的東西之一。

But anyway, although our HOT system is functional straight from birth, the COOL system develops throughout childhood.

但不管怎麼說，雖然我們的 "熱 "系統從一出生就開始發揮作用，但 "冷 "系統卻在整個童年時期都在發展。

So this is why it's much more difficult for young children to resist any immediate gratification.

所以，這就是為什麼幼兒更難抗拒任何即時滿足的原因。

So if you have a kid and if they can't resist you anything, don't be mad at them, okay?

所以，如果你有一個孩子，如果他們不能抗拒你什麼，不要生他們的氣，好嗎？

If they don't have the COOL system yet, be patient.

如果他們還沒有 COOL 系統，請耐心等待。

As we get older, we gain more self-control.

隨著年齡的增長，我們的自制力會越來越強。

So everyone has the ability to improve their self-control, which is a good news, because our life experiences are constantly remodeling who we are.

是以，每個人都有能力提高自己的自控力，這是一個好消息，因為我們的人生經歷會不斷重塑我們的自我。

This also means your self-control can also decrease too.

這也意味著你的自制力也會下降。

So delaying gratification is one of the most important skills in my life, in my opinion, if you want to have a happy, fulfilling life.

是以，在我看來，如果你想過上幸福美滿的生活，延遲滿足是我一生中最重要的技能之一。

Okay, let me explain why.

好吧，我來解釋一下原因。

Let's say you're super angry, like to someone you love, and you want to argue with them, you want to shout at them or something.

比方說，你超級生氣，比如對你愛的人生氣，你想和他爭吵，你想對他大喊大叫什麼的。

But instead of giving in to these immediate emotions, you could choose to use your communication skills to find a constructive solution.

但是，與其屈服於這些直接的情緒，你可以選擇運用你的溝通技巧，找到一個建設性的解決方案。

Like, you can take a step back, you can think about the situation, and rather than shouting them, you can come up with a response that builds rather than breaks.

比如，你可以後退一步，考慮一下當時的情況，與其大喊大叫，不如想出一個能增強而不是破壞的對策。

I'm quite sure that you also had an experience of saying things that you regret while you were angry, right?

我敢肯定，你也有過在生氣時說了讓自己後悔的話的經歷，對嗎？

I mean, I do.

我是說，我願意。

But if we practice delayed gratification, we decrease the chance of losing to our anger.

但如果我們練習延遲滿足，就會減少輸給憤怒的機會。

Another example can be binge-watching Netflix or endlessly scrolling through social media, like looking at Kardashians or something.

另一個例子可能是狂看 Netflix 或無休止地瀏覽社交媒體，比如看卡戴珊什麼的。

It's easy, it's comfortable, but is it really serving us?

這很容易，也很舒服，但它真的能為我們服務嗎？

No.

不

Instead, we could use our time to gain skills or knowledge that will advance our career and life, turning net time into a personal investment.

相反，我們可以利用我們的時間來獲得技能或知識，從而促進我們的事業和生活，把淨時間變成個人投資。

One of my all-time favorite cult goals, we must all suffer from one of two pains.

我最喜歡的邪教目標之一，我們一定都有兩種痛苦。

The pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

懲戒之痛還是悔恨之痛？

The difference is, discipline weights ounces while regret weights tons.

區別在於，紀律的重量是盎司，而遺憾的重量是噸。

Isn't it cool?

很酷吧？

So can delayed gratification and self-control can be learned?

那麼，延遲滿足和自我控制可以學會嗎？

If so, how?

如果是，怎麼做？

The great news is, even though some people have better impulse control, I don't.

好消息是，儘管有些人的衝動控制能力更強，但我沒有。

It's proven that delaying gratification is a learned behavior, a behavior that I couldn't learn.

事實證明，延遲滿足是一種學習行為，一種我學不會的行為。

One of the ways to practice delayed gratification is creating if-then systems.

實踐延遲滿足的方法之一是創建 "如果-那麼 "系統。

It's basically a way to improve self-control by creating easy-to-follow rules.

這基本上是一種通過制定易於遵循的規則來提高自控力的方法。

You make a rule where if certain thing happens, then you do a specific action.

你可以制定一個規則，如果發生了某些事情，你就會採取特定的行動。

For example, if I want to binge-watch Netflix shows, I will do it at the gym while walking on a treadmill.

例如，如果我想狂看 Netflix 的節目，我會在健身房一邊在跑步機上跑步一邊看。

Or let's say I feel like eating a chocolate, I will go to the supermarket by walk and get one.

比方說，我想吃一塊巧克力，我就會步行去超市買一塊。

I won't store it at home.

我不會把它放在家裡。

I'm not saying that quit chocolate, but if you want to do that, then you will go to the supermarket.

我不是說要戒掉巧克力，但如果你想戒掉巧克力，那就去超市吧。

So the first step in creating an if-then plan is to identify the hot spots that trigger the impulsive reactions you want to control.

是以，制定 "如果-那麼 "計劃的第一步，就是找出引發你想要控制的衝動反應的熱點。

Let's say you've been struggling to quit drinking every night.

比方說，你每天晚上都在為戒酒而掙扎。

You can set a rule, if you want to drink alcohol, you will wait 15 minutes and then decide whether you still want to want it.

你可以設定一個規則，如果你想喝酒，就等 15 分鐘，然後再決定是否還想喝。

The hard part is, identifying these impulsive reactions can be quite difficult since most of us live on autopilot.

困難的是，識別這些衝動反應可能相當困難，因為我們大多數人都生活在自動駕駛狀態中。

Like, I don't even remember what I did yesterday.

比如，我甚至不記得昨天做了什麼。

And one of the practices I've been doing is, jotting down simply whenever I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing.

我一直在做的一件事就是，每當我做了不該做的事，就簡單地記下來。

For example, I use my iPad mini quite often for that.

例如，我經常用 iPad mini 來做這件事。

Or just simply writing on my journal.

或者只是簡單地寫日記。

Or just taking a note on my phone.

或者用手機記下來。

If I'm doing something that I shouldn't be doing, scrolling on social media, I just take it out.

如果我在做不該做的事，比如瀏覽社交媒體，我就會把它拿出來。

Saying that I'm scrolling on social media, even if I shouldn't be doing it.

說我在社交媒體上滾動，即使我不應該這樣做。

The more you write, the more you will realize on the areas you struggle, and it raises the awareness towards your actions, because then you will be able to see how many times, what kind of an action you've been doing, even though you don't actually want it.

你寫得越多，就越能意識到自己在哪些方面掙扎，也就越能提高對自己行為的認識，因為這樣你就能看到有多少次，你一直在做什麼樣的行為，儘管你實際上並不想這樣做。

Right?

對不對？

Like, I've seen myself writing so many times, scrolling on social media without any purpose.

比如，我曾多次看到自己寫東西，在社交媒體上毫無目的地滾動。

I have to mention another thing that has been really helping me, Headspace.

我不得不提到另一個對我幫助很大的東西，那就是 Headspace。

Okay, so now I know what you're thinking, right?

好了，現在我知道你們在想什麼了吧？

Oh, here comes the sponsored part, secure the bag.

哦，有贊助商贊助的部分來了，固定好袋子。

But the truth is, I genuinely believe in the impact it has had on me.

但事實上，我真心相信它對我的影響。

Because Headspace is an app that guides you through mindfulness and meditation.

因為 Headspace 是一款指導你進行正念和冥想的應用程序。

So if you don't know, meditation is clinically proven that it helps with activating the prefrontal cortex, so the part that controls our self-control.

是以，如果你不知道，臨床證明冥想有助於激活前額葉皮層，也就是控制我們自我控制的部分。

And since I have ADHD and my prefrontal cortex is quite weak, actually doing meditation is one of the things that is quite recommended for people with ADHD to strengthen that power and control ADHD more.

由於我患有多動症，前額葉皮質非常薄弱，是以冥想是建議多動症患者做的事情之一，它可以加強前額葉皮質的力量，從而更好地控制多動症。

It doesn't mean your ADHD goes away if you meditate every single day, like for hours, but it really helps with it.

並不是說你每天冥想幾個小時，多動症就會消失，但冥想確實對多動症有幫助。

So like, meditation helps me quite a lot with understanding my impulses better, and it makes me more aware of my actions, which helps me to identify the patterns that happens to me, so that I can create these systems to help those preventing happening in the future.

是以，冥想能幫助我更好地理解自己的衝動，讓我更清楚地意識到自己的行為，從而幫助我識別發生在我身上的模式，這樣我就可以創建這些系統，幫助我在未來避免這些情況的發生。

It's also like having a mindfulness coach, right?

這也就像有了一位正念教練，對嗎？

Like whatever that means.

不管那是什麼意思。

And meditation, you know, with Headspace helps you get on backtrack when your mind starts to wander, which happens to me every single time, even right now.

當你開始胡思亂想時，冥想和 Headspace 可以幫助你回到正軌，我每次都會這樣，即使是現在。

And also, it's not about doing it perfectly.

而且，這也不是說要做得完美無缺。

Everyone has their own preferred way of meditating.

每個人都有自己喜歡的冥想方式。

For example, I meditate on bed, you know, different routines, frequencies, or types of content.

例如，我在床上冥想，你知道，不同的例程、頻率或內容類型。

And that's the beauty of it.

這就是它的魅力所在。

And you can find those on Headspace.

你可以在 Headspace 上找到這些內容。

So Headspace allows you to personalize your mindfulness journey.

是以，Headspace 允許您個性化自己的正念之旅。

So if you've been wanting to try meditation, but not sure where to start, Headspace is giving a 60-day free trial, no strings attached.

是以，如果您一直想嘗試冥想，但又不知道從何開始，Headspace 將提供 60 天的免費試用，無任何附加條件。

You can find the link in the description or scan the QR code on screen.

您可以在說明中找到鏈接，或掃描螢幕上的二維碼。

If you haven't give meditation a try, I'm telling you, you're missing out, because it's actually really good.

如果你還沒有嘗試過冥想，我告訴你，你就錯過了，因為它真的很不錯。

So the great thing about the If-Then system is, eventually, you won't need those rules anymore, because the behavior will become a habit of yours, and you will do it automatically.

是以，"如果-那麼 "系統的好處在於，最終你將不再需要這些規則，因為這些行為將成為你的習慣，你會自動去做。

When we think that way, actually, habits are quite scary, because once it's become a habit of yours, you don't even realize that you're doing that thing.

當我們這樣想的時候，其實習慣是很可怕的，因為一旦它成為了你的習慣，你甚至意識不到自己正在做那件事。

So rather than, like, going to downfall and downward spiral of bad habits, we can use it to create good habits, so that we do things that will be grateful in the future.

是以，我們與其在壞習慣的漩渦中沉淪，不如利用它來養成好習慣，這樣我們做的事情將來會讓人感激。

And also, If-Then plans work not only when the signal comes from an outside, let's say, like an alarm, walking into a bar, but also inside feelings, like cravings, boredom, anxiety, or anger.

此外，"如果-那麼 "計劃不僅在信號來自外部（比如鬧鐘、走進酒吧）時有效，而且在信號來自內心（比如渴望、無聊、焦慮或憤怒）時也有效。

This technique helps make good habits automatic after a while.

這種方法有助於讓好習慣在一段時間後自動養成。

And for example, brushing your teeth is also an actual If-Then system, you know, if I decide to sleep, then I will brush my teeth, and I hope you're doing that same thing.

例如，刷牙也是一個實際的 "如果-那麼 "系統，你知道，如果我決定睡覺，那麼我就會刷牙，我希望你也在做同樣的事情。

And eventually, you won't need those rules for yourself anymore, as the behavior will become automatic.

最終，你將不再需要這些規則來約束自己，因為這些行為會自動成為你的習慣。

Like, I don't even think about brushing my teeth before I go to bed.

比如，我睡覺前甚至都沒想過要刷牙。

And another important strategy is to identify when exactly you need to exercise more self-control.

另一個重要的策略是，明確自己何時需要加強自我控制。

For that, you need to analyze yourself.

為此，你需要對自己進行分析。

Whenever you're stressed, for example, you might get more angry.

例如，每當你有壓力時，你可能會更加憤怒。

So analyze that pattern and decide what you would do.

是以，分析一下這種模式，然後決定你會怎麼做。

For example, whenever I'm stressed, right, like whenever I have deadlines and projects that I need to make sure I get them done on time, I get really stressed and I find myself drinking a lot of alcohol.

例如，每當我有壓力的時候，對吧，比如每當我有最後期限和項目，我需要確保按時完成的時候，我就會非常緊張，我發現自己喝了很多酒。

So one of the If-Then plans that I made for myself is to go to the gym whenever I'm feeling stressed and then drink if I want to still drink after my gym session.

是以，我為自己制定的 "如果-那麼 "計劃之一就是，每當我感到壓力大的時候，就去健身房，然後在健身結束後，如果還想喝酒，就喝。

And most of the time, I realize that I actually don't want to drink anymore, right?

大多數時候，我意識到自己其實不想再喝酒了，對嗎？

Like in my brain, that was a kind of like a coping mechanism for me.

在我的大腦裡，這就像是一種應對機制。

But because I created this If-Then system, whenever I'm now stressed, then I go and get a good workout session done.

但是，因為我創建了這個 "如果-那麼 "系統，所以每當我感到壓力時，我就會去好好鍛鍊一下。

And that really helped me to practice delayed gratification, because rather than getting that dopamine rush from an alcohol, now I get that dopamine from working out and I practice delayed gratification.

這對我練習延遲滿足真的很有幫助，因為我現在從鍛鍊中獲得多巴胺，而不是從酒精中獲得多巴胺，我練習延遲滿足。

And also working out helps with developing your prefrontal cortex, too.

此外，鍛鍊還有助於開發你的前額葉皮層。

And let's say you eat a lot when you're upset or stressed, right?

比方說，當你心煩意亂或壓力過大時，你會吃很多東西，對嗎？

In that case, you could make a plan.

在這種情況下，你可以制定一個計劃。

If I feel upset and I want to eat a lot, then I will make myself a cup of herb tea, journal, maybe some meditation, and maybe take a quick nap or go for a walk.

如果我感到心煩意亂，想吃很多東西，那麼我會給自己泡一杯草藥茶，寫日記，或許冥想，或許打個盹或出去走走。

Identifying these are quite hard and that's why most of us struggle, in my opinion.

在我看來，識別這些問題相當困難，這也是為什麼我們大多數人都在掙扎的原因。

And the more I delve into self-improvement, the more I realize the importance of being mindful with ourselves.

我越是深入研究自我提升，就越能意識到用心對待自己的重要性。

Whether you pick meditating, journaling, yoga, or even going for a silent walk alone, the observe what's happening around you and how you're reacting.

無論是選擇冥想、寫日記、瑜伽，甚至是獨自靜靜地散步，都要觀察周圍發生的事情以及自己的反應。

Because changing is difficult and it's also really painful.

因為改變是困難的，也是非常痛苦的。

I'm sure you're experiencing a lot of stress and there are a lot of issues in your life that you need to figure out, but just don't forget to be kind to yourself.

我相信你正承受著巨大的壓力，生活中也有很多問題需要你去解決，但別忘了善待自己。

Because failure is a part of journey, I forget to be kind to myself, too.

因為失敗是旅途的一部分，所以我也忘了善待自己。

But we need to make sure to learn from our mistakes and try to create if-then systems to prevent them from happening.

但是，我們必須確保從錯誤中吸取教訓，並努力創建 "如果-那麼 "系統來防止錯誤的發生。

It won't be easy for sure, but good things are never easy, right?

這肯定不容易，但好事從來都不容易，不是嗎？

I'm here for you and I'm rooting for your success.

我支持你，為你的成功加油。

See you soon.

再見