Name: 【看脫口秀學英文】小孩該怎麼養育？對他狠一點就對了！ (A Father's Day Tale • BRAD WILLIAMS | LOLflix)
Uploaded: 2024-07-30T09:00:19.000Z
Duration: 5 min 56 s
Description: 【看影片學英語】數萬部 YouTube 影片，搭配英漢字典即點即查，輕鬆掌握單字發音與用法，長久累積看電影不必再看字幕。學這些英文用法：凱蒂,爸爸,生日,侏儒,停止,聖誕樹,叫醒,電動車,生日快樂,精靈,姐姐,放到,創新,生氣,兒子,父母,學校,看看

動名詞

Because if you're a parent you know you never stop being a parent, so my dad never stopped fucking with me.

因為如果你是父母，你就知道你永遠不會停止做父母，所以我爸爸永遠不會停止搞我。

to 不定詞

He even had to discipline me in a creative way because he's old school, he wanted to discipline me because I would mess up, just like any kid messes up and my dad he wanted to hit me but you can't punch a dwarf, no.

他甚至必須用有創意的方式管教我，因為他很老派，他想管教我，因為我會搗蛋，就像任何孩子會搗蛋一樣，我爸爸他想打我，但你不能打侏儒，不能。

That's 12 years bad luck, like you're not doing that.

那是 12 年的黴運，不能打侏儒。

So my dad never hit me. Here's what he would do: when I would mess up, my dad would pick me up, put me on a counter and then leave.

所以我爸從來沒有打過我。他會這樣做：當我搗蛋的時候，我爸爸會把我抱起來，把我放在流理臺上，然後離開。

Some of you get it, some of you're like, "What's the big deal?"

你們有些人懂了，有些人則想：「有什麼大不了的？」

Well, five-foot counter, two-foot human. Unless you leave a parachute, not going anywhere for a while.

嗯，五英尺的流理台，兩英尺高的我。除非你留下降落傘，否則一段時間內哪裡也去不了。

One time at Christmas, I knocked over the Christmas tree, dad got mad, picked me up, put me on the counter, called in my sister. [He] was like, "Hey, Katie, Katie, Katie, come here. Check it out. Look what I got. Elf on a shelf."

有一次聖誕節，我撞倒了聖誕樹，爸爸很生氣，把我抱起來，放在櫃檯上，把妹妹叫了進來。 [他]說：「嘿，凱蒂，凱蒂，凱蒂，過來。看看。看看我得到了什麼。架子上的小精靈。」

16th birthday, my dad wakes me up on my birthday.

我 16歲生日，生日那天爸爸叫醒我。

"Happy birthday, son, I bought you a car."

「兒子，生日快樂，我給你買了一輛車。」

I run downstairs, run to the kitchen, get to the garage, open it up, fisher price power wheels sitting right there in the damn garage.

我跑下樓，跑到廚房，跑到車庫，打開它，費雪牌動力輪就該死的車庫裡。

Hey, I live a block and a half away from school, I still drove that thing to school.

嘿，我住的地方離學校一個半街區，我仍然開著那東西去學校。

I had the first electric car. I was a visionary.

我擁有第一輛電動車。我是一個有遠見的人。

Now, I tell those stories about my father and a lot of you have the appropriate reaction you laugh.

現在，我講述那些關於我父親的故事，你們很多人都會有適當的反應，你們會笑。

Some of you get that look and I know that look.

你們有些人會看到那種表情，我也知道那種表情。

I say those stories, you're like, "Oh, Brad, that's so sad. Your father made fun of you, what do you think that did to you, Brad?"

我說這些故事，你會說：「哦，布拉德，這太悲傷了。你父親取笑了你，你認為這對你有什麼影響，布拉德？」

Made me a man, shut the fuck up. Shut up.

讓我成為一個男人，他媽的閉嘴。閉嘴。

I thank God every day that my dad made fun of me.

我每天都感謝上帝，因為我爸爸取笑了我。

I'm so thankful that he put a little adversity in my life, that way, I knew how to conquer adversity later.

我很感謝他為我的生活帶來了一點逆境，這樣我以後就知道如何克服逆境了。

You have to ask yourself one question: who do you want your kid to be? Do you want your kid to be ready for the world that is or the world that should be?

你必須問自己一個問題：你希望你的孩子成為誰？你希望你的孩子為現在的世界或應該的世界做好準備嗎？

Now in the world it should be, there should be no murder, there should be no rape, there should be no ISIS, there should be no Justin Bieber.

現在的世界應該是這樣：不應該有謀殺，不應該有強姦，不應該有伊斯蘭國，不應該有賈斯汀·比伯。

But that's not the world we live in. We live in a world where unfortunately all those things do exist.

但這不是我們所處的世界。不幸的是，我們生活在一個所有這些事情確實存在的世界。

So who do you want your kid to be? Do you want your kid to be the person that's never had anything go wrong for them ever?

那麼你希望你的孩子成為誰呢？你希望你的孩子成為一個從未出過任何問題的人嗎？

Smooth sailing the entire way, never had anything wrong, never got hurt, never got a bruise, just run down the street every day just "sunshine and lollipop."

一路順風順水，沒出過什麼毛病，沒受過傷，沒受過擦傷，每天只是在街上跑唱著「陽光和棒棒糖」。

Because when something does happen to that kid - and it will - that kid's not going to know what to do

因為當那個孩子確實發生了什麼事時——而且一定會發生——那個孩子將不知道該怎麼做。

People want to protect their children from life and to some extent, you have to do that but you have to let a little in because you're never going to be able to protect them forever.

人們想要保護他們的孩子免於生命危險，在某種程度上，你必須這樣做，但你必須允許一點，因為你永遠無法永遠保護他們。

Life, ladies and gentlemen, has an undefeated record.

女士先生們，人生有不敗紀錄。

No one has gone through this thing unscathed no one.

沒有人能毫髮無傷地經歷過這件事。

我的家人大約兩年前遇到了我們的挑戰。

Two years ago, my dad came home and announced the family that he had skin cancer.

兩年前，我父親回家後向家人宣布他患有皮膚癌。

And we knew as a family, all right, we gotta deal with this and we started dealing with it.

我們知道作為一個家庭，好吧，我們必須處理這個問題，並且我們開始處理它。

And then when my dad had to have part of his face removed for plastic surgery and try to get that cancer off his face that didn't work. We had to regroup.

然後，當我父親不得不切除部分臉進行整形手術並試圖去除臉上的癌症時，但沒有效果。我們必須重新調整計劃。

Then he went through radiation treatment, that didn't work. We had to regroup.

然後他接受了放射治療，但沒有效果。我們必須重新調整計劃。

And I had to watch the man who raised me, the man who I love more than anything in this world wither away, it's almost nothing but I was never truly scared because my dad raised me to never fear anything in this world more than him.

我不得不看著那個養育我的男人，那個我最愛的男人逐漸消逝，這幾乎沒什麼，但我從來沒有真正害怕過，因為我的父親養育我，讓我永遠不要比他更害怕這個世界上的任何東西。

I knew nothing on this planet was scarier than my dad. Nothing is more powerful than my dad.

我知道這個星球上沒有什麼比我父親更可怕的了。沒有什麼比我父親更強大的了。

我知道這一點，我姐姐也知道這一點。

And now cancer knows it because he beat that son of a bitch.

現在癌症知道了，因為他打敗了那個王八蛋。

Ask him because my father is sitting right here in the second row.

自己問他，因為我父親坐在第二排。

Thank you, thank you for teaching me, thank you for teaching me never to quit.

謝謝你，謝謝你教會了我，謝謝你教會了我永不放棄。

Thank you for teaching me to be a man and hopefully be the man that you can be proud of.

感謝你教我如何做一個男人，並希望成為一個讓你感到自豪的男人。

And now it is my dream, it's my goal to one day have a son - don't get me wrong, he's gonna be taller than me that scares the out of me.

現在這是我的夢想，我的目標是有一天擁有一個兒子 - 別誤會我的意思，他會比我高，這讓我感到害怕。

But one day, I want to have that moment with my son where we're arguing just like any father and son does, and we're having that moment and we're arguing and we're getting pissed off. It happens in every household.

但有一天，我想和我的兒子有這樣的時刻，我們像任何父子一樣爭吵，我們在那一刻爭吵，我們很生氣。它發生在每個家庭。

It is my dream that one day my son will look down at me and get mad at me and pick me up and put me on a counter and be like, "Grandpa taught me that one, bitch."

我夢想有一天我的兒子會俯視我，生我的氣，然後把我抱起來，放在櫃檯上，然後說：「這是爺爺教我的，婊子。」

Thank you guys very much for being a part of this.

And thank you to UCI Medical Center for keeping my dad alive. I love you guys, thank you.

感謝 UCI 醫療中心讓我父親活了下來。我愛你們，謝謝你們。