You're here. Thank you for being here.

你來了感謝你們的到來

Welcome.

歡迎光臨

Well, guys, good news.

好了，夥計們，好消息。

I saw that today is National Tequila Day.

我看到今天是全國龍舌蘭酒日。

And so is every day until Election Day.

選舉日之前的每一天都是如此。

Yeah.

是啊

That's right.

這就對了。

National Tequila Day, which pretty much makes tomorrow

全國龍舌蘭酒日，這使得明天

National Gatorade and Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Day.

全國佳得樂和培根、雞蛋和奶酪日。

Of course, a lot of celebrities have their own tequila brands.

當然，很多名人都有自己的龍舌蘭酒品牌。

Now there's George Clooney, Kendall Jenner, and Dwayne the Rock Johnson, just to name a few.

現在，喬治-克魯尼（George Clooney）、肯達爾-詹娜（Kendall Jenner）和 "巨石強森 "德維恩-約翰遜（Dwayne the Rock Johnson）也來了。

But to me, the real celebrity face of tequila will always be Nick Nolte.

但對我來說，龍舌蘭酒真正的名人代言人永遠是尼克-諾爾特（Nick Nolte）。

And I just, you know, I just, I don't know why.

我只是，你知道，我只是，我不知道為什麼。

I don't know. I don't know.

我不知道。我也不知道

I have no idea why.

我也不知道為什麼。

Meanwhile, it's also National Cousins Day.

同時，今天也是全國表兄弟日。

Ooh.

哦

Yeah. That's right.

是的，沒錯 Yeah.沒錯

It's Tequila Day and Cousins Day, or as it's known in West Virginia, Valentine's Day.

今天是龍舌蘭酒節和表兄妹節，或者西弗吉尼亞州的情人節。

Yeah, there you go.

對，就是這樣。

Come on, now. Come on, now.

來吧，現在。來吧

You want jokes? You want jokes?

你想聽笑話嗎？你想聽笑話？

Come on, now.

來吧

-♪ Tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila ♪

-龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭 -龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭

Some political news.

一些政治新聞

Earlier tonight, President Biden gave a primetime address from the Oval Office about his decision to drop out of the race.

今晚早些時候，拜登總統在橢圓形辦公室發表黃金時段講話，談及他退出競選的決定。

Basically, on Sunday, he broke up with the country over text, and tonight he met us for coffee to explain.

基本上，週日，他通過簡訊與這個國家分手了，今晚他約我們喝咖啡解釋。

-♪ Tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila ♪

-龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭 -龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭

Yep, Biden delivered the address, although it was hard for people to focus with Kamala's interior designer in the background.

是的，拜登發表了講話，雖然背景是卡馬拉的室內設計師，人們很難集中注意力。

And then we'll put a picture of Doug over here.

然後把道格的照片放在這裡。

And then, I think he changed his curtain, right?

然後，我想他換了窗簾，對嗎？

Changed his curtain.

換了窗簾

Oh, it's okay.

哦，沒關係。

-♪ Tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila ♪

-龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭 -龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭

Well, guys, the latest polling shows Vice President Harris leading former President Trump 44% to 42%.

各位，最新民調顯示，副總統哈里斯以44%對42%領先前總統特朗普。

And the poll...

民意調查...

-♪ Tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila ♪

-龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭 -龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭

Well, the poll has a lot of information, so let's take a look at the numbers here.

好了，民意調查有很多資訊，讓我們來看看這裡的數字。

When asked, who are you supporting for president, 44% said Kamala Harris, 42% said Donald Trump, 13% said Joe Biden.

當被問及 "您支持誰競選總統 "時，44% 的人說是卡馬拉-哈里斯，42% 的人說是唐納德-特朗普，13% 的人說是喬-拜登。

-♪ Tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila, tequila ♪ 38% said, Joe Biden, have you been paying attention to the news?

-龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭，龍舌蘭 38%的人說，喬・拜登，你有關注新聞嗎？

24% said, no, not really, why?

24%的人說，不，不是真的，為什麼？

72% said, bro, he dropped out four days ago.

72%的人說，兄弟，他四天前就退出了。

52% said, oh, my bad, I've been super busy.

52%的人說，哦，我的錯，我一直超級忙。

11% said, so busy, you didn't know the president dropped out?

11%的人說，這麼忙，你不知道總統退學了？

63% said, will you lay off?

63%的人說，您會裁員嗎？

Man, my job is really stressful.

夥計，我的工作壓力真的很大。

17% said, sorry, what's your job again?

17%的人說，對不起，你的工作是什麼來著？

24% said, I'm the head I.T. guy at CrowdStrike.

24%的人說，我是 CrowdStrike 公司的信息技術主管。

11% said, oof.

11%的人說，哦。

82% said, yeah.

82%的人說，是的。

13% said, yikes.

13%的人說，呀。

27% said, I know, anyway, you want to go see Deadpool and Wolverine?

27%的人說，我知道，總之，你想去看死侍和金剛狼嗎？

71% said, I can't, my job has been insane lately.

71%的人說，我不行，我最近的工作太忙了。

33% said, sorry, what's your job again?

33% 說，對不起，你的工作是什麼來著？

45% said, I'm the CEO of Boeing.

45%的人說，我是波音公司的首席執行官。

11% said, oof.

11%的人說，哦。

82% said, yeah.

82%的人說，是的。

13% said, yikes.

13%的人說，呀。

27% said, I know, so what's your next move?

27%的人說，我知道，那你下一步該怎麼做？

40% said, what's yours?

40% 說，你的是什麼？

12% said, let's say it on three.

12% 說，那就數到三吧。

One, two, three.

一、二、三

And finally, 100% said, only fans.

最後，百分之百地說，只有粉絲。

It's a very interesting poll.

這是一項非常有趣的民意調查。

Very interesting.

非常有趣。

Very in-depth.

非常深入。

Very in-depth.

非常深入。

Very interesting poll there, yeah.

非常有趣的民意調查

Meanwhile, yesterday in Wisconsin,

與此同時，昨天在威斯康星州、

Kamala Harris made her first campaign stop, and the crowd was pretty fired up, but no one was more excited than Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers.

卡馬拉-哈里斯（Kamala Harris）進行了她的首次競選活動，現場氣氛相當熱烈，但最激動人心的莫過於威斯康星州州長託尼-埃弗斯（Tony Evers）。

Listen to this. Watch this guy.

聽聽這個。看這個人

On the Tony Evers excitement scale that goes from holy mackerel and maxes out at, heck yes,

按照託尼-埃弗斯的興奮度標準，從 "神聖的鯖魚 "到 "絕對興奮"、

I am jazzed as hell.

我高興得要命。

My goodness.

我的天啊

That guy makes Mike Pence look like Andrew Dice Clay.

那傢伙讓邁克-彭斯看起來像安德魯-迪斯-克萊。

On the excitement scale, if zero is off the chain, this party, zero's off the chain, and Tana's roof is being raised, this is somewhere in the holy macaroni zone.

就興奮程度而言，如果說 "零 "是 "離譜"，那麼這個派對就是 "離譜 "的 "零"，而塔娜的屋頂被掀起來了，這就屬於 "神聖通心粉 "的範疇了。

Well, it was reported that Elon Musk was giving $45 million a month to Trump's campaign, but now Elon's saying that's not true, and he just put out a statement about it.

據報道，埃隆-馬斯克每月向特朗普的競選活動提供 4500 萬美元，但現在埃隆說這不是真的，他剛剛就此發表了一份聲明。

Take a look. Elon said,

看一看。埃隆說

I know I owe millions, but I'm just not going to pay.

我知道我欠了幾百萬，但我就是不還。

And Trump said, game recognize game.

特朗普說，遊戲承認遊戲。

Yeah.

是啊

Then Elon said, I'm too busy running my businesses.

然後埃隆說，我忙著做生意。

Everything I touch has been tanking for some reason.

出於某種原因，我接觸的所有東西都在下滑。

And Trump said, game recognize game.

特朗普說，遊戲承認遊戲。

Then Elon said, meanwhile, people are saying

然後埃隆說，與此同時，人們在說

I ruined Twitter and I ignore my kids.

我毀了 Twitter，也不理我的孩子。

And Trump said, game recognize game.

特朗普說，遊戲承認遊戲。

And Elon said, luckily, everyone will forget about all this when I do something even crazier next week.

埃隆說，幸運的是，當我下週做出更瘋狂的舉動時，所有人都會忘記這一切。

And Trump said, game recognize game.

特朗普說，遊戲承認遊戲。

They have a lot in common.

他們有很多共同點。

Switching gears, according to a new report,

根據一份新的報告，換擋、

Amazon has lost $25 billion on its Alexa devices.

亞馬遜在其 Alexa 設備上已經損失了 250 億美元。

I could tell something was wrong. Listen to this.

我能感覺到不對勁聽聽這個

Hey, Alexa, what is the capital of Tennessee?

嘿，Alexa，田納西州首府是哪裡？

The capital of Tennessee is Nashville.

田納西州首府是納什維爾。

Also, while I have you, videos of my feet are now available for purchase.

另外，趁我還在你身邊，我的腳的視頻現在可以購買了。

Shall I add to your cart?

要加入購物車嗎？

Alexa, stop, stop. This is sad.

Alexa 停下 停下這太可悲了

This is sad, right?

這很可悲，對嗎？

That's terrible. I feel bad. It's sad.

太可怕了我很難過很難過

Guys, this is wild. According to scientists, sharks off the coast of Brazil have tested positive for cocaine.

夥計們，這太瘋狂了。據科學家稱，巴西沿海的鯊魚可卡因檢測呈陽性。

Meanwhile, I can't get this song out of my head.

同時，這首歌在我腦海中揮之不去。

Cocaine shark, do, do, do, do, do, do.

可卡因鯊魚，做，做，做，做，做，做。

Cocaine shark, do, do, do, do, do.

可卡因鯊魚，做，做，做，做，做。

Cocaine shark, do, do, do, do, do, do.

可卡因鯊魚，做，做，做，做，做，做。

Cocaine shark, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

可卡因鯊魚，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做。

Cocaine shark, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

可卡因鯊魚，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做，做。

Finally, guys, it is Wednesday.

最後，各位，今天是星期三。

It's time for We Post. Here we go.

是時候發佈 "我們 "了。開始吧

-♪ We Post ♪

-我們發佈

We Post!

我們的崗位！

Welcome to We Post.

歡迎來到 We Post。

This is where we, as a group, decide something we should post on social media.

在這裡，我們作為一個小組，決定在社交媒體上發佈一些資訊。

I'm going to show you five different posts, and we're all going to vote on whether you like each one or not.

我將向你們展示五篇不同的文章，我們將投票決定你們是否喜歡每篇文章。

You'll have voting clickers at your seats.

你們的座位上有投票點擊器。

You see them?

看到了嗎？

Green means you like it. Red means you don't like it.

綠色表示您喜歡。紅色表示您不喜歡。

You can vote for all of them.

您可以為他們所有人投票。

And green for all of them, if you want to.

如果你願意，還可以為所有的人提供綠色。

You can vote for none of them.

你可以一票都不投。

Again, I'm here just to have fun.

我還是那句話，我只是來找樂子的。

That's really what... Higgins, you have your clicker?

這真是...希金斯，你帶著咔嗒咔嗒聲嗎？

Roots, you have your clickers?

羅茨，你帶著咔嗒咔嗒聲嗎？

All right, good. The results are going to be live here.

好的結果將在這裡直播。

Whichever one is our favorite, we will post.

無論哪個是我們的最愛，我們都會發布。

And then it's not a me post.

然後就不是我的帖子了。

It's a we post.

這是我們的帖子。

You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

明白我的意思了嗎？明白了

All right, here we go. The first post is...

好了，我們開始吧。第一個職位是...

Calzones are just shy pizzas.

Calzones 只是一種害羞的披薩。

Oh.

哦。

Just a little shy.

只是有點害羞

Come on. Come on, bud.

來吧 Come on.來吧

Come on out.

出來吧

Aw, it's a pepperoni pizza.

啊，這是意大利香腸披薩。

Yeah. All right, let's look at the votes.

好的好了，我們來看看選票。

I'm saying 50-50 on this one. Let's see the results.

我的意見是一半一半。讓我們看看結果吧。

Whoa! I was almost right!

哇哦我差點說對了

Very honest audience. Very honest audience.

非常誠實的觀眾非常誠實的觀眾

Yes, they're like, no.

是的，他們就像，不。

I'm going to vote no on that one, yeah.

我會投反對票。

Cute. All right, this next one is...

真可愛好了，下一個是...

Everyone thinks they're so cool and confident until it comes time to parallel park in front of a line of strangers waiting for a brunch table.

每個人都覺得自己很酷、很自信，直到要在一排等著吃早午餐的陌生人面前並排停車的時候。

Oh, gosh.

哦，天哪

I know, I know, I know, I know.

我知道，我知道，我知道，我知道。

I'm going to get... Okay, all right.

我要...好吧

All right. Let's see the results on this one.

好的讓我們看看這次的結果。

Oh!

哦！

That's nice. That's good.

很好。很好

United the whole audience right there.

把所有觀眾團結在一起

All right, this next one says...

好了，下一個說的是......

What?

什麼？

Wait, what?

等等，什麼？

I don't even know if I want to vote on this one.

我都不知道自己是否想投這一票。

What is that? Let me say it again.

那是什麼？讓我再說一遍。

What?

什麼？

Wow. I don't know.

哇哦我也不知道

You're the one that told me. You're sorry.

是你告訴我的你很抱歉

Someone just walked out.

有人剛走出去。

Yeah, are you kidding? Come back, come back.

是啊，你在開玩笑嗎？回來，回來

You can't leave the tonight show. Come back.

你不能離開今晚的節目回來吧

All right, let's see the results on this one.

好吧，讓我們看看這次的結果。

I...

I...

Yeah, that's...

是啊，這是...

Whoa! All right, let's try a new one.

哇哦好吧，讓我們試試新的。

Here we go. This next one says...

開始了下一張寫著...

That's not bad, right? That's good.

還不錯吧？這很好

Just toss it in there. We'll figure it out when we get home.

扔進去吧我們回家後再想辦法

All right, let's see the results on that one.

好了，讓我們看看結果吧。

Yeah.

是啊

Whoa! Wow.

哇哦哇哦

Three people. Three people held out, said no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

三個人三個人堅持著，說不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不。

Two away from the winner. Yeah.

離冠軍還有兩步之遙是啊

All right, this last one is...

好吧，最後一個是...

Sometimes I look at people's feet in sandals and think, do you kick bowling balls for a living?

有時，我看著人們穿著涼鞋的腳，就會想，你們是靠踢保齡球為生的嗎？

-♪♪ -♪♪

-♪♪ -♪♪

What? What happened to you?

怎麼了？你怎麼了？

Do you kick bowling balls for a living?

你以踢保齡球為生嗎？

Wow.

哇

I think it is.

我想是的。

Oh, I don't know. It's hard to top 191.

哦，我不知道。很難超越 191。

I know, but that's a good one. That's a really good one.

我知道，但這是一個很好的。真的很不錯

That's a really good one. You might have to post two of them.

這幅畫真不錯。你可能得發兩張。

That might be a two of them, yeah.

可能有兩個人，是的。

Hmm. Would you agree to post two of them if it's, like, over 180-something?

嗯如果超過 180 塊左右，你會同意貼兩張嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Let's see the results.

讓我們看看結果。

Oh! We got a post!

哦，有帖子了

Yes! It's over 180!

是的，已經超過 180 磅了！

We're going to post two! We're going to post both of them!

我們要發兩張！我們要發兩張！ 我們要發兩張！

We're going to post both!

我們將同時發佈這兩個資訊！

Never been done!

從未做過！

All right, two and five are the winning posts.

好了，2 號和 5 號是獲勝的職位。

I'm going to post it during the break.

我將在休息時間發佈。

If you happen to see it online, give that WePost a repost.

如果你碰巧在網上看到了，請在 WePost 上轉發。

We have a great show. Give it up for The Roots, ladies and gentlemen.

我們有一場精彩的演出女士們先生們，為 "根 "樂隊鼓掌吧

-♪♪ -♪ We're going up ♪ -♪ Let's go ♪ -♪♪

-我們上去 -我們走 -我們走

Hey, everyone, just a reminder, this Friday at 7.30 p.m., the Paris Olympics opening ceremony is kicking off right here on NBC!

大家好，提醒一下，本週五晚7點30分，巴黎奧運會開幕式將在NBC電視臺拉開帷幕！

It's going to be big!

這將是一件大事！

And then don't change the channel, because after that, we have an all-new show with Nick Jonas.

然後不要換臺，因為在那之後，我們將和尼克-喬納斯一起播出一檔全新的節目。

That's right.

這就對了。

-♪♪

-♪♪

Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird.

梅根-拉皮諾（Megan Rapinoe）和蘇-伯德（Sue Bird）。

Whoa!

哇哦

Madonna Ice Spice.

麥當娜冰雪香料

What?!

什麼？

Maybe a couple surprise appearances.

也許會有幾個驚喜出現。

Ooh.

哦

Maybe Will Ferrell.

也許是威爾-費瑞爾

What?!

什麼？

Maybe two guys from a giant Marvel movie that's out this weekend.

也許是本週末上映的一部漫威鉅製中的兩個人。

What?!

什麼？

I don't know! I don't know!

我不知道我不知道

You'll have to tune in and find out this Friday night.

您將在本週五晚收看節目，一探究竟。

NBC, it's going to be good.

全國廣播公司，一切都會好起來的。

Yeah.

是啊

-♪♪

-♪♪

Maybe.

也許吧

But first, what a show we have for you tonight.

但首先，今晚我們為您準備了一場精彩的演出。

He is an Oscar and Golden Globe-winning actor who stars in the new film,

他是奧斯卡和金球獎得主，在新片中擔任主演、

The Instigators, which opens in select theaters August 2nd and streams August 9th on Apple TV+.

唆使者》將於 8 月 2 日在部分影院上映，並於 8 月 9 日在 Apple TV+ 上播放。

Matt Damon is here tonight!

馬特-達蒙今晚來了

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One of the best to ever do it.

他是有史以來最出色的人之一。

Love that man. Love that dude.

愛那個男人喜歡那個人

The light.

燈光

Oh, I like this guy.

哦，我喜歡這傢伙。

He stars in the new M. Night Shyamalan movie,

他出演了 M. Night Shyamalan 的新電影、

Trap, which is in theaters August 2nd.

陷阱》將於 8 月 2 日上映。

Josh Hartnett is joining us!

喬希-哈特內特正在加入我們！

I love that guy, too.

我也喜歡那傢伙。

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And we got great music from Hardy tonight!

哈代今晚為我們帶來了美妙的音樂！

Come on!

來吧

That's fun.

真有趣

That's a fun album right there.

這就是一張有趣的專輯。

Oh, also, I want to quickly mention that this is the final night to vote for our annual Fallon Summer Reads Book Club.

對了，我還想趕緊提一下，今晚是為我們的年度法倫夏季閱讀書友會投票的最後一晚。

We're going to announce the winning book on tomorrow night's show.

我們將在明晚的節目中宣佈獲獎圖書。