A lot of critics have described it as, quote, not a good. -$%&! -$%&!

很多評論家都把它形容為 "不好"。-$%&! -$%&!

Some top Democrats have even been calling the president offering their advice, and this is incredible.

一些民主黨高層甚至打電話給總統，提出他們的建議，這太不可思議了。

We somehow got footage of one of these phone calls.

我們莫名其妙地拍到了其中一通電話的錄像。

Really?

真的嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Take a look at this. -$%&! -$%&!

看看這個-$%&! -$%&!

Hello.

你好

Hey, yo, I just caught your interview on Morning Joe, or as I like to call it, Morning You.

嘿，我剛看到你在 "早安喬 "的訪談，我喜歡叫它 "早安你"。

You get it?

你明白了嗎？

Who is this?

你是誰？

Come on.

來吧

It's Barack.

是巴拉克

Gonna have to be more specific.

得說得更具體些。

Obama.

奧巴馬

Oh, I know.

哦，我知道。

I was just a test to see if you knew who you were.

我只是在測試你是否知道自己是誰。

Oh, Joe, Joe, you're making about as much sense as you did during the debate.

哦，喬，喬，你說得和辯論時一樣有道理。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Not... not a compliment.

不是......不是恭維。

Speaking of the debate, I got to ask, what was that weird face you were making when Trump was talking?

說到辯論，我想問一下，特朗普說話的時候，你那怪異的表情是什麼意思？

You know the face.

你知道那張臉

Oh, this one.

哦，這個。

Yeah.

是啊

Yeah.

是啊

But look, look, people are worried, because sometimes you seem to lose your train of thought mid-sentence, trail off, and then say a random word.

但是，你看，你看，大家都很擔心，因為有時你似乎說到一半就語無倫次，斷斷續續，然後隨便說一個詞。

Well, I can tell you that is simply an utterly...

好吧，我可以告訴你，這根本就是...

You see?

看到了嗎？

Now there you go again.

你又來了。

Yeah, but why is everyone focusing on me?

是啊，但為什麼大家都在關注我呢？

Donald Trump is just as incoherent.

唐納德-特朗普也同樣語無倫次。

Yeah, but he's... he's kind of, like, fun-incoherent, like, uh, like a minion, you know?

是的，但他......他有點，就像，呃，像一個奴才，你知道嗎？

He's all like...

他就像...

That's a good minion impression.

這奴才印象不錯。

But mind if I try one?

但介意我試一試嗎？

Be my guest.

請便

Joe?

喬？

Joe, wake up.

喬，醒醒

Ah, I don't want to get in the carousel, Mommy.

啊，我不想坐旋轉木馬，媽媽。

Okay, I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that.

好吧，我假裝沒聽見。

Uh, look, the point is, you got to do something to reassure America that you're still sharp and not confused.

呃，聽著，重點是，你得做點什麼，讓美國人放心，你還是那麼敏銳，沒有糊塗。

Well, that's why I did that interview on Friday with George Snuffleupagus.

這就是我週五採訪喬治-斯納弗帕格斯的原因。

Yeah, I saw.

是的，我看到了。

Now, why did you keep refusing to take a cognitive test?

現在，你為什麼一直拒絕接受認知測試？

Come on, man.

來吧，夥計。

Every day I do a cognitive test.

每天我都要做認知測試。

That's how I'm doing one right now.

我現在就是這麼做的。

Check this out.

看看這個

Star, star hole.

星，星洞

Boom, I'm a genius.

嘣，我是個天才。

All right, all right, very good, Joe.

好的 好的 非常好 喬

You know, you also said that the only way you'd step down is if you were asked by Jesus himself.

你也說過，只有耶穌親自要求你，你才會下臺。

That's right, that's right.

沒錯，沒錯。

I value his opinion.

我很重視他的意見。

He's my best friend from high school.

他是我高中最好的朋友。

He's a great guy.

他是個好人

He's a good carpenter.

他是個好木匠。

So, wait, hold on, hold on.

所以，等等，等等，等等。

So Jesus is the only person you'll listen to?

所以你只聽耶穌的話？

Not even me, not even little Barry O?

連我也不行，連小巴里-奧也不行？

What about Pelosi, Schumer?

佩洛西和舒默呢？

Nope.

沒有。

What about Jake from State Farm?

州立農場的傑克呢？

Everybody trusts Jake from State Farm.

每個人都相信州立農場的傑克。

No, I'm more of a Flo guy.

不，我更喜歡弗洛。

You're more of a Flo Max guy.

你更喜歡 Flo Max。

Oh, Zingy, you old bastard.

哦，Zingy，你這個老混蛋。

What do you got to say about that?

你對此有什麼看法？

Bah, bah, bah.

呸，呸，呸

Okay, that's a little late in the conversation, but you're still on it.

好吧，這話說得有點晚了，但你還在說。

You got it, all right.

沒問題

Look, the point is, I'm not going anywhere, okay?

聽著，重點是，我哪兒也不去，好嗎？

I'm the only one that can beat Trump, okay?

只有我能打敗特朗普，好嗎？

I'm the only one that can unite the country.

我是唯一能讓國家團結起來的人。

In fact, I already have.

事實上，我已經這樣做了。

For the first time ever, the left and the right, MSNBC and Fox News, Kendrick and Drake, they've all come together with one voice and said, you should probably drop out.

有史以來第一次，左派和右派、MSNBC 和福克斯新聞、肯德里克和德雷克，他們都異口同聲地說，你也許應該退出。

But I'm going to stay in, and I'm going to fight because American democracy is at stake, and that's a fact, Jack.

但我會留下來，我會戰鬥，因為這關係到美國的民主，這是事實，傑克。

Yeah, all right.

好吧

Now, there's the Joe we're looking for.

這就是我們要找的喬。

We need more of that.

我們需要更多這樣的人。

Now, please, we're begging you.

現在，求你了，我們求你了。

In the words of my girl, Sabrina Carpenter, please, please, uh, please.

用我的女孩薩布麗娜-卡彭特的話說，求你了，求你了，呃，求你了。

I love Sabrina.

我愛 Sabrina。

She's my favorite carpenter since Jesus.

她是耶穌之後我最喜歡的木匠。

Look at Joe with the callback.

看看喬的回調。

You still got it, my man.

你還是有的，我的男人。

Please, please, please.

求你了，求你了，求你了

I'm through, all right.

我受夠了

Hey, hey, hey.

嘿，嘿，嘿

Hey, hey, hey.

嘿，嘿，嘿