Name: 【趣味影片】百變天王金凱瑞搞笑模仿拜登與川普的總統辯論會！ (First Debate Cold Open - SNL)
Uploaded: 2024-07-03T03:07:54.000Z
Duration: 13 min 41 s

轉承詞

The following is a rebroadcast of Tuesday's presidential debate, even though Tuesday feels like a hundred days ago.

以下是週二總統辯論的重播，儘管週二就像一百天前一樣。

情態助動詞 B1

We thought it was important to see it again, since it might be the only presidential debate.

我們認為有必要再看一遍，因為這可能是唯一一次總統辯論。

程度副詞

And it was pretty fun to watch, as long as you don't live in America.

只要你不是生活在美國，就會覺得這非常有趣。

Good evening. I'm your moderator, Chris Wallace.

晚上好，我是主持人克里斯·華萊士。

And I think I'm gonna do a really, really good job tonight.

我想今晚我會表現得非常非常好。

First, I want to lay out the rules, which both parties agreed to in advance.

首先，我要列出雙方事先同意的規則。

Each candidate will have two minutes, uninterrupted.

每位候選人有兩分鐘時間，不得打斷。

Mr. President, I haven't even introduced the candidates yet.

總統先生，我還沒有介紹候選人呢。

跟我的阿德拉說去吧，克里斯。（阿德拉為治療注意力缺乏多動症的藥物）

Now let's get this show on the road and off the rails.

現在，讓我們把這齣戲演下去吧。

And you did take the COVID test you promised to take in advance, correct?

你也參加了事先答應的 COVID 檢測，對嗎？

Well, President Trump has already introduced himself, so let's now welcome the Democratic candidate.

川普總統已經做了自我介紹，現在讓我們歡迎民主黨候選人。

Former vice president of the United States.

It looks like you're ready to debate, Joe.

看來你已經準備好辯論了，喬。

I'm holding my bladder. Let's get at her.

Tonight we'll be discussing six major topics, none of which anyone will remember by tomorrow.

今晚我們將討論六大主題，但到明天大家都不會記得了。

I'd like to begin with a list of complaints.

People are mean to me. Joe here is very mean.

人們對我很刻薄。喬就很刻薄。

It keeps losing jobs, which is mean to me.

它不斷失去工作機會，這對我來說太刻薄了。

And the China virus has been very mean to me by being a hoax, and that statement will not come back to haunt me later this week.

中國病毒對我來說是一場惡作劇，這對我來說非常刻薄，本週晚些時候這項聲明不會再困擾我。

And-and what about the question I asked you about the Supreme Court?

問題是我問你最高法院的情況？

We're very excited about our nominee, Amy Cristina Barcelona, and it was so nice...

我們對被提名人感到非常興奮、Amy Cristina Barcelona，

so nice to welcome her the other day with open arms and uncovered faces.

那天張開雙臂、不戴口罩地歡迎她真是太好了……太好了。

Don't let your inner Whitey Bulger come out.

不要讓你內心的「白毛巴爾傑」爆發出來。（Whitey Bulger 為美國傳奇黑幫首領）

Just flash them all that smile they taught you in anger management.

只要向他們展示他們在憤怒管理課上教你的微笑就可以了。

Now, Mr. Vice President, and only Mr. Vice President, would you consider adding additional justices to the Supreme Court?

現在，副總統先生，只針對副總統先生，你會考慮為最高法院增添更多的法官嗎？

And he won't even answer it, just like he won't answer what about his son Hunter and Burisma and the mayor of Moscow and Obama was spying on me and he emailed Benghazi.

他甚至不願意回答這個問題，就像他不願意回答他的兒子亨特、緬甸、莫斯科市長、歐巴馬在監視我，他給班加西發郵件等問題一樣。

Mr. President, no one understands what you're saying.

總統先生，沒人聽得懂你在說什麼。

You're just listing terms you heard on Fox News and it sounds like you're saying the names of characters from a season four of a show that no one has watched.

你只是在羅列從福克斯新聞中聽到的術語，聽起來就像是在說一部沒人看過的電視劇第四季中的人物名字。

What I meant to say was I'd appreciate it very much if you could just allow me to finish my responses as opposed to sabotaging every waking moment with a toxic geyser of verbal diarrhea you cracked out turd-hurling sack of rancid dog snot.

我想說的是如果你能允許我完成我的回答，而不是用你這個滿嘴屎尿的餿狗鼻涕破壞我每一個清醒的時刻，我會非常感激。

你說：「聽著，事情是這樣的。」

What we need in this country is law and order.

我們國家需要的是法律和秩序。

When someone breaks the rules, they need to face the consequences.

當有人違反規則時，他們需要面對後果。

The terms law and order, they're very vague terms, and rules are meant to be broken.

法律和秩序這兩個詞非常模糊，而規則就是用來打破的。

I've got mine right here in my pocket, okay?

You just wear it when you're backing out of the driveway, then you take it off, okay?

你只在倒車離開車道的時候繫上，然後就解開了。

But Joe wears the biggest mask I've ever seen, and he's standing, like, 200 feet away from everybody.

但喬戴著最大的口罩，他就站在離大家200英尺遠的地方。

Look, man, I'm a nice guy, but if you give me any more guff tonight, I'll rip your face off like a mad chimp.

聽著，我是個好人，但如果你今晚再對我嘮叨個沒完，我會像一隻瘋狂的黑猩猩一樣把你的臉撕下來。

字幕列表影片播放

【趣味影片】百變天王金凱瑞搞笑模仿拜登與川普的總統辯論會！ (First Debate Cold Open - SNL)

literally

weird

absolutely

meditation