It's time to laugh.

是時候開懷大笑了。

It's time to laugh.

是時候開懷大笑了。

I got a stand-up comic for you.

我給你找了個單口相聲演員

My next guest has been making you laugh Sunday nights on HBO's Silicon Valley, as well as in comedy clubs around the country.

我的下一位嘉賓每週日晚都會在 HBO 的《硅谷》以及全國各地的喜劇俱樂部為您帶來歡笑。

Give it up for Jimmy O. Yang, ladies and gentlemen.

女士們，先生們，為 Jimmy O. Yang 鼓掌。

Thank you, thank you, thank you, our CEO.

謝謝，謝謝，謝謝，我們的首席執行官。

How you guys doing?

你們好嗎？

Lovely. It's amazing, amazing to be here, man.

真可愛能來這裡真是太棒了

Thank you guys so much for coming.

非常感謝你們的到來。

It is amazing.

太神奇了。

It's great.

太棒了

The weather is hot outside, man.

外面的天氣很熱

I just came in for the AC, and they told me to stay for the comedy, so it's good.

我只是來做空調，他們讓我留下來看喜劇，所以這很好。

I love being in Los Angeles, man.

我喜歡洛杉磯

I've been going to the beach.

我一直在去海邊。

It's great.

太棒了

But one thing I can never do,

但有一件事我永遠做不到、

I can never take my shirt off at the beach.

我在海灘上從來都不脫衣服。

Ladies, don't get me wrong.

女士們，別誤會。

I'm in shape, okay?

我在健身，好嗎？

I'm in shape.

我在健身。

This is an extra small, extra slim fit.

這是一款超小、超薄的版型。

I'm in shape, but I'm just a small guy with really nice hair.

我身材很好，只是個子不高，頭髮很漂亮。

So from the back, I look like a hot Asian chick.

所以從後面看，我就像個性感的亞洲小妞。

And from the front, I look like a really hot Asian chick.

從正面看，我就像一個非常性感的亞洲小妞。

It's terrible.

太可怕了

It's weird, man.

真奇怪

People always try to holler at me and stuff.

人們總是試圖對我吼叫什麼的。

It's weird.

真奇怪。

I'm actually kind of jealous of my black friends, because they're so spontaneous with the ladies, right?

事實上，我有點嫉妒我的黑人朋友，因為他們在女人面前總是那麼隨性，不是嗎？

They didn't go up to any girl they want and just holler at them.

他們不會走到任何女孩面前，對她們大吼大叫。

It's great.

太棒了

I see my black friends going up to any stranger in the street, any girl, and just be like, hey, what's up, ma?

我看到我的黑人朋友們走到街上的任何一個陌生人、任何一個女孩面前，就會說，嘿，你好嗎，女士？

Let me holler at you, baby.

讓我對你大喊大叫，寶貝。

What's up, girl?

怎麼了，姑娘？

Let me holler at you, ma.

讓我對你大喊一聲，媽媽。

What's up, girl?

怎麼了，姑娘？

You're looking beautiful.

你看起來真美

Let me holler at you, baby girl.

讓我向你歡呼吧，寶貝女兒。

I can't do that.

我做不到

Can you imagine like a really Asian person trying to pull that off, how awkward and messed up it's going to turn out to be?

你能想象一個真正的亞洲人嘗試這樣做會有多尷尬和混亂嗎？

Just like, hey, let me holler at you, huh?

就像，嘿，讓我對你吼一嗓子，好嗎？

Hey, ho, where are you going?

嘿，嗬，你去哪兒？

Let me holler at you.

讓我對你吼一嗓子

Come back, come back, I'll do your nails for you.

回來，回來，我幫你做指甲。

You guys are racist for laughing at that, man.

你們這些種族主義者竟然笑得出來，老兄。

It's great to be here.

很高興來到這裡。

It's seriously amazing for me to be here tonight.

對我來說，今晚能來到這裡真是太棒了。

Like, I'm so blessed.

就像，我很幸福。

I'm actually an immigrant.

我其實是個移民。

I moved to this country when I was 13 years old from Hong Kong, China.

我 13 歲時從中國香港來到這個國家。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

When I first came here, this is a true story.

當我第一次來到這裡時，這是一個真實的故事。

When I first came here, I barely spoke a word of English, and I learned how to speak English by watching a lot of television.

剛來的時候，我幾乎一句英語都不會說，是看了很多電視才學會說英語的。

Two months into it, I realized I was watching Telemundo.

兩個月後，我發現自己在看 Telemundo。

I didn't really know.

我真的不知道。

Like, what is Corazon?

科拉松是什麼？

And there's like 12 of them?

大概有 12 個？

What is that?

那是什麼？

So eventually, eventually I switched the channel, and you can still hear my voice today.

所以，最終，最終我換了頻道，你今天還能聽到我的聲音。

I learned most of my English by watching BET Rap City.

我的大部分英語都是通過收看 BET Rap City 學來的。

Yeah. Big Tick in the Basement, Freestyle Friday.

是的地下室大滴答，自由式星期五

There's nothing more American than Snoop Dogg, you know?

沒有什麼比史努比-道格（Snoop Dogg）更美國了，你知道嗎？

And I didn't know any better.

我也不知道該怎麼辦。

I just thought that's how everybody talked.

我只是覺得大家都是這麼說話的。

So I went up to the lunch lady the next day.

於是，第二天我就去找午餐阿姨。

I'm like, hey, what it do, shawty?

我想，嘿，它是做什麼的，肖蒂？

Yeah. Holla at me some of that waffle fries, bitch.

給我來點華夫餅薯條，賤人

What's up?

怎麼了？

It was embarrassing.

這很尷尬。

It was embarrassing.

這很尷尬。

Luckily, nobody ever tried to bully me because they just assumed that I know kung fu.

幸運的是，從來沒有人想欺負我，因為他們只是以為我會功夫。

It was great.

太棒了。

Me and Arsenio, we're going to do Rush Hour 4.

我和阿森尼奧 我們要拍《匆匆那年4》

It's going to be awesome.

一定會很棒的。

Yeah.

是啊

To this day, I still run into weird situations just for being Asian.

直到今天，我還是會因為自己是亞洲人而遇到一些奇怪的情況。

I was watching a soccer game.

我正在看一場足球比賽。

Real exciting game.

真正激動人心的比賽

It was like USA versus Mexico, right?

就像美國對墨西哥，對嗎？

I was at a bar.

我當時在酒吧。

And this old Mexican guy came up to me, and he barely spoke a word of English.

有個墨西哥老頭走過來，幾乎不會說一句英語。

And he tapped me in the shoulder.

他還拍了拍我的肩膀。

He's like, amigo.

他就像個朋友

Amigo. Mexico.

Amigo.墨西哥。

Korea. Tomorrow, huh?

韓國。明天？

I'm like, bro, I'm not even Korean.

我就說，兄弟，我又不是韓國人。

He managed to insult me with the only three English words he knew.

他用僅會的三個英語單詞侮辱了我。

That's a gift.

這是一份禮物。

He should be on this show.

他應該上這個節目。

So I got back at him.

於是我報復了他。

I just insulted him with the only three Spanish words that I knew.

我只是用我僅會的三個西班牙語單詞侮辱了他。

I was just like, tacos, burritos, cilantro, huh?

我就想，玉米餅、捲餅、香菜，哈？

It's great to see all these different ethnicity here in America just all hang out.

能在美國看到這些不同種族的人聚在一起真是太棒了。

It's great.

太棒了

Whatever ethnicity you are, yes.

無論你是什麼種族，都可以。

Absolutely.

當然可以。

Whatever ethnicity you are, you have to be proud of who you are, man.

無論你是什麼種族，你都要為自己的身份感到自豪，夥計。

I'm really, really proud to be Asian, I got to say.

不得不說，作為亞洲人，我真的非常非常自豪。

I'm proud to be Asian.

我為自己是亞洲人而自豪。

Because I've never seen an Asian person on the Maury Povich show.

因為我從沒在莫里-波維奇的節目中見過亞洲人。

Have you ever seen that?

你見過嗎？

You've never seen that?

你從沒見過？

Never. You're never going to see some Asian guy walking down those steps of shame on Maury and just be like, hey, Maury.

永遠不會你永遠不會看到某個亞洲人在莫里的羞恥臺階上走下來 然後說，嘿，莫里。

Hey, Maury.

嘿，莫里。

Look, look, Maury, look.

看 看 莫里 看

Look, Maury.

你看，莫里。

I got a small eye.

我有一隻小眼睛。

He got a big eye.

他的眼睛很大

That's not my baby, Maury.

那不是我的孩子，莫里。

That's not my baby.

那不是我的孩子

Thank you very much.

非常感謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

You guys are amazing.

你們太棒了

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

You're welcome, dog.

不客氣，狗狗

You're welcome.

不客氣。

Yes, sir. Give it up for him.

好的，先生給他吧

And see Jimmy perform at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood May 22nd and in Long Beach.

歡迎觀看吉米 5 月 22 日在好萊塢 Laugh Factory 和長灘的演出。

We got to get Snoop out there on the 23rd and 24th.

我們得在 23 日和 24 日把史努比送過去。

Also, check my website because Rush Hour 4 is coming, y'all.

另外，請查看我的網站，因為《匆匆那年 4》就要上映了。

We'll be right back.

我們馬上回來