Name: 高EQ的人都有的 12 個特質，你也可以學起來！ (12 traits emotionally intelligent people share (You can learn them) | Daniel Goleman for Big Think+)
Uploaded: 2024-07-03T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 11 min 55 s

In the future, I think emotional intelligence will be one of several abilities that we need.

未來，我認為情商將成為我們需要的幾種能力之一。

未來簡單式

Another, of course, is cognitive ability, IQ, and maybe AI will take over more and more of that.

當然，另一個問題是認知能力和智商，也許 AI 會取代越來越多的認知能力和智商。

頻率副詞

However, emotional intelligence is a human ability and will always remain so.

然而，情商是人類的一種能力，並將永遠如此。

IQ predicts how well you'll do in your school years and how much salary you can make over the course of a career because it says what job you can get into, like being a business executive or a doctor or a lawyer.

智商可以預測你在求學時期的表現，以及你在職業生涯中能賺取多少薪水，因為智商決定了你能從事什麼工作，比如成為企業高管、醫生或律師。

But once you're in those professions, everybody else is about as smart as you are.

但是，一旦你進入了這些行業，其他人就和你一樣聰明。

That's where emotional intelligence kicks in.

People who emerge as outstanding performers or the best leaders have high emotional intelligence and their IQ is not that relevant at that point.

那些表現出色的人或最優秀的領導者都有很高的情商，在這一點上，他們的智商並不重要。

I've written many books, mostly on emotional intelligence.

我寫過很多書，大部分是關於情商的。

The book Emotional Intelligence many years ago was an international bestseller.

多年前，《情商》一書成為國際暢銷書。

I've written now five books on the topic.

我現在已經寫了五本關於這個主題的書。

My most recent is Optimal, how to sustain personal and organizational excellence every day.

我最近的一本著作是《最佳狀態》，內容是如何讓個人和組織每天都保持卓越。

Emotional intelligence is a set of personal skills that we learn in life.

情商是我們在生活中學習到的一套個人技能。

It's a combination of self-awareness, managing your emotions well, empathy, tuning into other people and putting that all together to have harmonious or effective relationships.

它是自我意識、良好的情緒管理、同理心、對他人的理解的綜合體，將所有這些結合起來，才能建立和諧或有效的人際關係。

Emotional intelligence has been talked about for centuries.

幾個世紀以來，人們一直在談論情商。

Philosophers were talking about know thyself, that's self-awareness.

哲學家們都在談論「認識你自己」，這就是自我意識。

But when I wrote the Emotional Intelligence book in '95, it was the first time that for a popular audience, emotional intelligence had become well-known.

但是，當我在 1995 年撰寫《情商》一書時，情商第一次為大眾所熟知。

I was a science journalist at the New York Times back then and I'd been covering a decade of research on the brain and emotion.

當時我是《紐約時報》的一名科學記者，我一直在報導關於大腦和情感的十年研究。

And in doing so, I came across a very obscure article called Emotional Intelligence and I loved the title.

在這個過程中，我看到了一篇非常不起眼的文章，叫做《情商》，我很喜歡這個標題。

It was by Peter Salovey, who's just stepping down as the president of Yale University and his then graduate student, John Mayer.

作者是剛剛卸任耶魯大學校長的 Peter Salovey 和他當時的研究所學生 John Mayer。

You don't put emotions together with intelligence, but actually it's being intelligent about emotions.

你不能把情感和智慧混為一談，但實際上，情感才是智慧。

When I wrote Emotional Intelligence, I was actually thinking of bringing it to schools.

當我撰寫《情商》一書時，我實際上是想把它帶到學校去。

It seemed to me that kids should learn from the get-go how to manage themselves, how to tune into themselves, how to tune into other people, how to get along, how to behave well and so on.

在我看來，孩子們應該從一開始就學會如何管理自己、如何調整自己、如何調整他人、如何相處、如何表現良好等等。

I was a big advocate of what's now called social emotional learning.

我是現在所謂的社會情感學習的大力倡導者。

And from early on, my view of emotional intelligence hasn't really changed much, but I integrated it with findings from research on outstanding performers.

從一開始，我對情商的看法就沒有什麼改變，但我把它與對傑出人才的研究成果結合起來。

And I saw that different abilities of high performers, like being able to manage your emotions, fit well in the model.

我發現，高績效者的不同能力，比如能夠管理自己的情緒，都非常適合這個模型。

And now I talk about four domains of emotional intelligence and then 12 particular competencies of people who are high in emotional intelligence.

現在我談談情商的四個領域，然後是情商高的人的 12 種特殊能力。

Self-awareness means you know what you're feeling, you know how it shapes your perceptions and your thoughts and your impulse to act.

自我意識意味著你知道自己的感受，知道它如何影響你的認知、思想和行動衝動。

We find in our research that people low in self-awareness are unable to develop strengths very well in other parts of emotional intelligence.

我們在研究中發現，自我意識低的人無法很好地發展情商其他方面的優勢。

People who are high in self-awareness, however, are able to develop excellence across the board.

而自我意識強的人，則能夠全面發展，精益求精。

Self-management means when you're upset, when you're angry, when you're anxious, can you manage your emotions?

自我管理是指當你心煩意亂、憤怒、焦慮時，你能管理好自己的情緒嗎？

Can you keep them from disrupting your focus on what you have to do right now?

你能讓它們不干擾你專注於現在要做的事情嗎？

We're having more instances of road rage, of shootings, of people blowing up at other people.

路怒症、槍擊、對他人開槍的事件越來越多。

There's a growing need for people in general to get better at this ability.

人們越來越需要提高這種能力。

The third part is social awareness, which in one sense means practicing empathy.

第三部分是社會意識，從某種意義上說，這意味著踐行同理心。

You not only know how the person thinks and how they feel, you care about them.

你不僅要了解對方的想法和感受，還要關心他們。

And this is what you want in your teachers, doctors, leaders of any kind, people who have influence.

這也是你對老師、醫生、各種上司以及有影響力的人的期望。

The fourth part of emotional intelligence is relationship management.

Can you keep yourself calm and listen to the other person?

你能保持冷靜並傾聽對方的意見嗎？

Full rapport means that you feel close, you feel you can work with this person, you can trust them.

完全融洽意味著你感覺很親近，你覺得你可以和這個人一起工作，你可以信任他。

Unlike IQ, which barely budges over the course of our life, emotional intelligence can change.

智商在人的一生中幾乎不會發生變化，而情商則不同，它是可以變化的。

And it's learned and learnable at any point in life.

在人生的任何階段，它都是可以學習和借鏡的。

It's like going to a doctor for physical.

You get your lipids and your good cholesterol, bad cholesterol.

你會得到血脂、好膽固醇和壞膽固醇。

Emotional intelligence is a set of abilities, and each of us has strengths and limitations across that spectrum.

情商是一種能力，我們每個人都有自己的優勢和侷限。

So if you want to improve your emotional intelligence, see where you need to improve first.

所以如果你想提高自己的情商，先看看自己需要在哪些方面提高。

One of the common colds of emotional intelligence is poor listening.

情商的常見感冒之一就是傾聽不力。

You know, we think about what we want to say, and we don't really listen to the other person.

你知道，我們只想著自己想說什麼，而沒有真正傾聽對方。

This is a basic of empathy, listening well.

這是換位思考、善於傾聽的基本要素。

So if you want to learn to be better at empathy, you might say, my habit, and I've done it thousands of times, is cutting people off and interrupting.

所以，如果你想學會更好地換位思考，你可能會說，我的習慣是打斷別人的話，我已經這樣做了成千上萬次。

I'm going to make the effort to do it differently.

I'm going to listen to the person out, say what I think they mean, and then say what I think.

我要聽對方說完，說出我認為他們的意思，然後再說出我的想法。

That is a different behavioral sequence, and it comes down to the basics of what we call neuroplasticity, how the brain changes with repeated experience, and that's what underlies habit change.

這是一種不同的行為序列，它歸結為我們所說的神經可塑性的基本原理，即大腦如何隨著反覆體驗而改變，而這正是習慣改變的基礎。

It's a little like crossing your arms in a new way.

這有點像以一種新的方式交叉雙臂。

Now cross them with the other arm on top.

現在用另一隻手臂在上面交叉。

So with listening, you have to first make an intentional effort.

在傾聽的過程中，你必須首先做出有意的努力。

It might feel uncomfortable, but as you persist, it gets more and more comfortable until finally it's an automatic habit.

這可能會讓人感覺不舒服，但隨著你的堅持，這種感覺會越來越舒服，直到最後成為一種自動習慣。

You know, I've gone around the world talking to different audiences, and one of the things I love to ask is,

你知道，我曾在世界各地與不同的聽眾交談，其中我最喜歡問的一個問題是：

"Tell me about a leader you've loved and a leader you hate, and tell me one quality that makes a leader so good or so bad."

「告訴我你喜歡的領導者和你討厭的領導者，告訴我一個是什麼讓一個領導者如此優秀或如此糟糕的特質。」

Basically, the leader you hate is low in emotional intelligence.

基本上，你討厭的領導者情商很低。

They don't manage their emotions very well.

They blow up at people, don't empathize, they don't tune in, they don't understand how clueless they are.

他們對別人大發脾氣，不懂得換位思考，不懂得傾聽，不懂得自己是多麼無知。

Having a boss with high emotional intelligence means you feel not only inspired, not only motivated, you feel supported, you feel guided.

擁有一個高情商的老闆，意味著你不僅能感受到激勵，不僅能感受到動力，還能感受到支持和指導。

You feel you have clarity about what's expected from you.

你覺得自己明確了對自己的期望。

You give your best in your best state, in the optimal state, not in a desperate, stressed-out state.

你要在最佳狀態、最佳狀態下，而不是在絕望、壓力過大的狀態下，全力以赴。

Research at the Yale School of Management has found that emotions are contagious, and they're most contagious from the leader outward.

耶魯大學管理學院的研究發現，情緒是會傳染的，而且從領導者身上向外傳染的可能性最大。

The leader is most often the sender of strong emotions, either negative or positive.

領導者往往是強烈情緒的傳遞者，無論是消極情緒還是積極情緒。

This very research by Sehgal Barsadeh has shown that if the leader is in a negative mood, very anxious, for example, people on that team will catch that mood and performance goes down.

Sehgal Barsadeh 的這項研究表明，如果領導者情緒消極，例如非常焦慮，團隊中的人就會受到這種情緒的影響，從而導致績效下降。

If the leader is in a very positive mood, I feel really good, I feel enthusiastic, then people catch that positive mood and their performance as a team or as a group goes up.

如果領導者的情緒非常積極，「我感覺非常好，我感覺充滿熱情」，那麼人們就會抓住這種積極的情緒，他們作為團隊或小組的表現也會隨之上升。

So the leader's state is actually much more important on the ability of people to do good work than many people realize, particularly many leaders actually.

領導者的狀態對人們能否做好工作的影響實際上比很多人意識到的要重要得多，尤其是很多領導者。

But if you have a leader that you hate, for example, and sadly too many people do, then you really don't give your best.

但是，如果你有一個你討厭的上司，比如說，可悲的是有太多的人這樣做，那麼你就真的沒有盡全力。

In fact, you're more likely to leave as soon as you can, particularly if you're talented.

事實上，你更有可能儘快離開，尤其是如果你很有才華的話。

So a leader with low emotional intelligence is actually draining the organization in the long term.

從長遠來看，情商低的領導者實際上是在消耗組織的能量。

They may get results for the quarter by driving people, by stressing them out, but they're burning them out and they're going to lose good people.

他們可能會通過逼迫員工、給員工施加壓力來取得本季度的業績，但這樣做會讓員工疲於奔命，也會失去優秀的員工。

So in the short term, they may look good; in the long term, it's a disaster.

在短期內，它們可能看起來不錯，但從長遠來看，這是一場災難。

I once took a bus up Madison Avenue in New York City on a very hot, humid day.

有一次，我在紐約麥迪遜大道上乘坐公共汽車，那天天氣非常炎熱潮溼。

People had a kind of bubble around them like, don't touch me, don't talk to me.

人們的周圍有一種情緒泡泡，像在說不要碰我，不要和我說話。

I got on the bus and the bus driver shocked me.

我上了公車，司機嚇了我一跳。

He looked at me and very warmly said, "Welcome to the bus. How's your day going?"

他看著我，非常熱情地說：「歡迎乘坐公車。今天過得怎麼樣？」

And then I realized sitting on the bus that he was carrying on a conversation with everyone on the bus.

坐在車上我才意識到，他在和車上的每個人交談。

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高EQ的人都有的 12 個特質，你也可以學起來！ (12 traits emotionally intelligent people share (You can learn them) | Daniel Goleman for Big Think+)

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