Even white people know BTS now.

現在連白人都知道 BTS 了。

That's progress.

這就是進步。

That's progress.

這就是進步。

I had a 15-year-old white kid come up to me trying to explain to me the different members of BTS.

曾有一個 15 歲的白人小孩跑來向我解釋 BTS 的不同成員。

He was like, oh, this is Jungkook.

他當時想，哦，這是 Jungkook。

He's kind of like the lead singer.

他有點像主唱。

And that's Jimin.

這就是 Jimin。

He's really cool.

他真的很酷。

And he also raps.

他還會說唱。

I'm like, dude, they look the same to me.

我就想，哥們兒，我看它們都一樣。

I didn't want to say it.

我不想說出來。

I couldn't say it as an Asian person, but they all just look like me.

作為一個亞洲人，我不能這麼說，但他們都長得像我。

With pink hair.

粉紅色的頭髮

I can turn the whole show to a BTS concert right now.

我現在就可以把整場演出變成 BTS 演唱會。

All right?

行嗎？

Yeah, this is, this is Jimin.

是的，這是，這是Jimin。

This is Jimin right here.

我是吉明

You don't know.

你不知道

You don't know.

你不知道

You don't know.

你不知道

You don't know.

你不知道

Small, light, butter.

小巧、輕便、黃油。

No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not gonna do that.

不，我不會，我不會，我不會那麼做的。

I love my people, man.

我愛我的人民

I love BTS.

我愛 BTS。

You guys probably heard in the news.

你們可能從新聞中聽說了。

They got to go to mandatory Korean army, right?

他們得去參加韓國軍隊的強制訓練，對吧？

The most popular people in the world.

世界上最受歡迎的人

They got to go sign up for Korean military.

他們得去報名參加韓國軍隊。

That's some gangster shit.

這就是黑幫狗屎。

Imagine how scared you'll be when you encounter BTS on the battlefield.

想象一下，當你在戰場上遇到 BTS 時會有多害怕。

You're in battle.

你在戰鬥

You're already kind of shook.

你已經有點動搖了。

You're in a field of grass and a little puff of pink hair just pops up.

你在一片草地上，突然冒出一小撮粉紅色的頭髮。

You're like, yo, what the fuck was that?

你會想，喲，那是什麼鬼東西？

Is that a unicorn?

那是獨角獸嗎？

And then six more pink hair pop up.

然後，又有六根粉色頭髮冒了出來。

You're like, we're surrounded.

你會想，我們被包圍了。

And the last thing you see is just this.

你最後看到的就是這個。

That's some gangster shit.

這就是黑幫狗屎。

My girl asked me, she was like, babe, what's your love language?

我女朋友問我，寶貝，你的愛語是什麼？

I'm like, what?

我想，什麼？

She's like, you know, your love language.

她就像你的愛語。

Like, how do you convey love to your partners and loved ones?

比如，如何向伴侶和夫妻傳遞愛？

Like, for example, a love language could be words of affirmation.

比如，愛的語言可以是肯定的話語。

I'm like, words of affirmation?

我想，肯定的話？

I was raised by Asian parents.

我是由亞裔父母撫養長大的。

I've never heard one word of affirmation in my life.

我一生中從未聽到過一句肯定的話。

Nobody ever told me, Jimmy, you're so great.

從來沒有人告訴我，吉米，你是如此偉大。

You can do it.

你能做到的

They're like, don't fuck it up.

他們會說，別搞砸了。

Their love language is verbal abuse.

他們的愛語是辱罵。

White people never brag about how much money they got.

白人從不炫耀自己有多少錢。

They always just brag about how expensive their life is.

他們總是吹噓自己的生活有多昂貴。

Like, oh, Joey just started private school.

比如，喬伊剛上私立學校。

It's so expensive.

太貴了

And our remodel is totally going over budget.

我們的改建工程完全超出了預算。

Oh, and you wouldn't believe how much money we spent going to Fiji.

哦，你肯定想不到我們去斐濟花了多少錢。

I'm like, okay, Katie, I see your life, okay?

我想，好吧，凱蒂，我看到了你的生活，好嗎？

It's a luxury.

這是一種奢侈。

It's good for you, okay.

這對你有好處

Black people, on the other hand, a lot more straightforward.

而黑人則更直接。

Black people just tell you exactly how much money they spent on something.

黑人只會告訴你他們在某件事上花了多少錢。

It's great.

太棒了

You guys seen it?

你們看過嗎？

Like my black friends, or even like rappers, right?

比如我的黑人朋友，甚至說唱歌手，對嗎？

They love to brag.

他們喜歡吹噓。

They're like, this car, $80,000.

他們說，這輛車，8萬美元。

My mama's house, $500,000.

我媽媽的房子，50萬美元。

This chain, a million dollars, man.

這條鏈子值一百萬美元

I'm like, okay, you clearly don't have your priorities straight, but I appreciate the honesty.

我想，好吧，你顯然沒有釐清輕重緩急，但我很欣賞你的誠實。

People love to brag about how much money they spent.

人們喜歡炫耀自己花了多少錢。

Asian people, on the other hand, we do the exact opposite.

而亞洲人卻恰恰相反。

We love to brag about how little money we spent on some shit.

我們喜歡炫耀自己在一些破事上花了多少錢。

Because the art is in the savings.

因為藝術在於節約。

You never pay full price.

你從不付全價。

Like my mom, her catchphrase is, guess how much?

就像我媽媽，她的口頭禪是：猜猜多少錢？

Guess how much?

猜猜多少錢？

Yeah, that's our people.

是的，那是我們的人。

I can't ask my venture capitalist girlfriend to make me a bento box.

我不能讓我的風險投資女友給我做便當。

I'm not an idiot.

我不是白痴。

I'm a sugar baby.

我是糖寶寶

I know my role.

我知道自己的角色。

So instead of asking it directly, I just drop little hints.

所以，我沒有直接問，而是給他們一些小暗示。

Like we'll be sitting on the couch together.

就像我們會一起坐在沙發上一樣。

I just pull out my phone and pretend I accidentally stumbled onto this video.

我掏出手機，假裝無意中看到了這段視頻。

I'm like, oh, what is this?

我想，哦，這是什麼？

Bento boxes?

便當盒？

Oh my God, it's so cute.

天哪，太可愛了。

What is that, like a rice ball shaped like a panda?

那是什麼，像熊貓形狀的飯糰嗎？

Look, look, look, look.

看，看，看，看

Wow, so she makes this every day for him?

哇，她每天都為他做這個？

Wow, she must love him so much.

哇，她一定很愛他。

I thought I was being slick until she came out to one of my shows and she heard this joke.

我一直以為自己很狡猾，直到她來看我的一場演出，聽到了這個笑話。

And she was really upset, man.

她真的很難過

And rightfully so, I was just up here talking shit, right?

理所當然，我只是在這裡胡說八道，對吧？

We went home, we got into a big fight.

我們回家後大吵了一架。

She was like, babe, that's bullshit, okay?

她說，寶貝，那都是胡扯，好嗎？

If you want me to do something, why don't you just ask me directly?

如果你想讓我做什麼，為什麼不直接問我？

And if you really want somebody to make you bento boxes, why don't you just go find a Japanese woman?

如果你真的想讓別人給你做便當，為什麼不去找個日本女人呢？

I'm like, babe, I'm sorry you feel that way, okay?

我想，寶貝，我很抱歉讓你有這種感覺，好嗎？

But I think you're missing the point.

但我覺得你沒抓住重點。

You don't have to be Japanese to make bento boxes.

製作便當不一定非得是日本人。

That's right.

這就對了。

So now I'm making her bento boxes every day.

現在我每天都給她做便當。

And then there's Rachel Brosnahan.

還有蕾切爾-布羅斯納漢。

Do you guys know who she is?

你們知道她是誰嗎？

Yeah, I love her.

是的，我愛她。

She plays the marvelous Miss Maisel.

她在劇中飾演了不起的梅塞爾小姐。

Great show, right?

很棒的節目，對吧？

It's an awesome show.

這是一場精彩的演出。

And I did a movie with her a few years ago.

幾年前，我和她一起拍了一部電影。

So I decided to say hi.

所以我決定去打個招呼。

I was like, oh my God, Rachel.

我當時想，天哪，瑞秋。

It's so great to see you.

見到你真高興

Congratulations on everything.

祝賀你所做的一切。

And she was like, oh, okay.

她就說，哦，好吧。

I'm like, okay, she probably just forgot who I was.

我想，好吧，她可能只是忘了我是誰。

I'm like, look, we did a movie like six years ago called Patriot's Day.

我就說，聽著，我們六年前拍過一部電影，叫《愛國者日》。

You were awesome in that movie.

你在那部電影裡演得太棒了

I just want to congratulate you on everything you've done so far.

我只想祝賀你迄今為止所做的一切。

And she was like, oh yeah, sure.

她就說，哦，是的，當然。

And I'm like, oh, really?

我想，哦，真的嗎？

Is the marvelous Miss Maisel a bitch?

了不起的梅塞爾小姐是個婊子嗎？

But I wasn't going to act out of pocket.

但我不會自掏腰包。

I was there to represent.

我在那裡是代表。

So it was very nice.

所以感覺非常好。

I was just like, oh, it's okay.

我當時就想，哦，沒關係。

You just don't remember.

你只是不記得了。

Anyways, I just want to congratulate you for all the nominations on Marvelous Miss Maisel.

總之，我想祝賀你獲得《了不起的麥瑟爾小姐》的所有提名。

You're awesome.

你太棒了

And she was like, oh, I'm not Rachel Brosnahan.

她說，哦，我又不是蕾切爾-布羅斯納漢。 And she was like, oh, I'm not Rachel Brosnahan.

I'm Evan Rachel Wood from Westworld.

我是《西部世界》裡的埃文-蕾切爾-伍德。

And I was like, holy shit.

我當時就想，我的媽呀。

I'm the racist person here.

我才是這裡的種族主義者。

I think all white people look alike.

我覺得所有白人都長得一樣。

John Stone was staring me down.

約翰-斯通盯著我看。

I'm like, you're a bastard.

我想，你是個混蛋。

You can't even stare.

你甚至不能盯著看。

And I didn't know what to do, right?

我不知道該怎麼辦，對吧？

I was profusely sweating.

我滿頭大汗。

My face was flushed red.

我的臉漲得通紅。

So I was just like, oh my God.

我當時就想，天哪。

I am so sorry.

我很抱歉。

But either way, it's so nice to meet you.

但無論如何，很高興見到你。

My name is Awkwafina.

我叫 Awkwafina。

And then I just, all these guys with aggressive tattoos and they just sweating it in the kitchen.

然後我就看到，這些人身上都有咄咄逼人的紋身，他們就在廚房裡揮汗如雨。

They're like, yes, chef.

他們會說，是的，大廚。

Yes, chef.

是的，主廚。

Two minutes.

兩分鐘

Two minutes.

兩分鐘

It's still raw.

它還很原始。

It's still raw.

它還很原始。

And they're just making fucking scallops.

他們只是在做他媽的扇貝。

There's two items on the menu and they can't even handle that shit.

菜單上只有兩道菜，他們卻連那玩意都搞不定。

You go to any Chinese restaurant, there's about 485 items on the menu.

你去任何一家中餐館，菜單上都有大約 485 種菜。

And there's one dude back there in the kitchen.

還有一個人在後面的廚房裡。

He's not even a chef.

他甚至不是廚師。

He's somebody's uncle from Hong Kong.

他是某個香港人的叔叔。

And he knows how to make everything in under 30 seconds.

他還知道如何在 30 秒內做出所有的東西。

That guy's the real hero.

那傢伙才是真正的英雄。

You know what I mean?

你明白我的意思嗎？

He got a yellow wife beater that he brought from the old country.

他有一輛從老家帶來的黃色打老婆車。

Just chilling near the wok.

只是在炒鍋旁邊涼快涼快。

Cigarette in his mouth, just like.

嘴裡叼著煙，就像這樣。

I'm serious.

我是認真的。

That guy's a gangster man.

那傢伙是個流氓

And he just cusses casually in Cantonese.

他還用廣東話隨便罵人。

Just like.

就像

Real.

真實

I can tell you what kind of Asian somebody is by the sound they make when they disappointed.

我可以通過某人失望時發出的聲音來判斷他是哪種亞洲人。

Disappointment is our strongest emotion.

失望是我們最強烈的情緒。

Whenever we get disappointed, our ancestor just comes out.

每當我們失望時，我們的祖先就會出現。

And you can't hide that, you know?

你無法隱藏這一點，你知道嗎？

When Chinese people get disappointed, we're just disgusted.

當中國人感到失望時，我們只會感到厭惡。

We don't know when to look at you.

我們不知道什麼時候該看你。

When you disappoint a Chinese person, they're just like.

當你讓一箇中國人失望時，他們會說：

Like they just walked into a smoky room and they gotta clear it.

就像他們剛走進一個煙霧繚繞的房間，必須把它清理乾淨。

Just like.

就像

Japanese people, when Japanese people get disappointed, they just want to know why.

日本人，當日本人感到失望時，他們只想知道為什麼。

They ask you a question.

他們會問你一個問題。

When a Japanese person get disappointed, they're just like.

當日本人感到失望時，他們就會這樣。

You didn't go disappoint a Korean person.

你沒有讓一個韓國人失望。

I wouldn't recommend that.

我不建議這樣做。

This Korean brother might fuck you up, okay?

這個韓國兄弟可能會把你搞砸，好嗎？

Korean people are intense.

韓國人很緊張。

They ready to fight.

他們準備戰鬥。

But they're my favorite type of people because they're very emotionally honest.

但他們是我最喜歡的一類人，因為他們在情感上非常誠實。

A Korean person will let you know when they disappointed.

韓國人會在失望時告訴你。

They're real guttural with it.

他們的嗓音非常洪亮。

You know what I mean?

你明白我的意思嗎？

When you disappoint a Korean person, they're like.

當你讓韓國人失望時，他們會說：

But they're still very Asian, so they're still real polite.

但他們仍然是非常亞洲化的人，所以他們仍然非常有禮貌。

They'll thank you with that.

他們會是以感謝你的。

And they're like.

他們會說：

You guys wanna play Guess How Much?

你們想玩 "猜猜多少錢 "遊戲嗎？

My mom would come home with something new, like a watch.

我媽媽會帶一些新東西回家，比如手錶。

She'll be like.

她會說：

I'm like, Mom, I don't know.

我就說，媽媽，我不知道。

It's a very nice watch, like $5,000.

這塊表很不錯，大概有 5000 美元。

And she was like, no.

她說，不

It's $200.

這是 200 美元。

Jimmy, my house, my house, this house, guess how much?

吉米，我的房子，我的房子，這房子，你猜多少錢？

Guess how much?

猜猜多少錢？

I'm like, Mom, I don't know.

我就說，媽媽，我不知道。

You live in a very nice house, like a million dollars.

你住在一棟非常漂亮的房子裡，好像有一百萬美元。

She was like, no.

她說，不

It's half off.

半價

Someone died in it.

有人死在裡面

And if you know the rules of the game, you always guess high.

如果你瞭解遊戲規則，你總是能猜中高分。

So you make the other person feel good about their purchases.

這樣，你就能讓對方對自己的購物感覺良好。

Never guess too low.

永遠不要猜得太低。

If you ever guess too low, that's the ultimate insult to an Asian person, okay?

如果你猜得太低，那就是對亞洲人的終極侮辱，好嗎？

One time, my mom came home with some new shoes.

有一次，媽媽買了雙新鞋回家。

I guessed too low.

我猜得太低了。

I've never seen her so disappointed in me.

我從未見過她對我如此失望。

She was like, Jimmy, Jimmy, guess how much?

她說，吉米，吉米，你猜多少錢？

Guess how much?

猜猜多少錢？

I'm like, Mom, I don't know.

我就說，媽媽，我不知道。

Very nice shoes, like $200.

非常漂亮的鞋子，好像是 200 美元。

She was like, oh.

她說，哦

Do you even know about shoes?

你瞭解鞋子嗎？

These are $500 Jimmy Choos, okay?

這可是價值500美元的Jimmy Choos，知道嗎？

Better Jimmy than you.

吉米比你強

One night, I came home early.

一天晚上，我很早就回家了。

My girl was having a girls' night at the house.

我的女孩在家裡度過了一個女孩之夜。

I've never seen anything like that.

我從沒見過這樣的事。

The TV was off.

電視關了。

Seven girls sitting in a circle, making direct eye contact with each other.

七個女孩圍坐成一圈，互相用眼神交流。

Every candle in the house was lit.

屋子裡的每根蠟燭都點亮了。

And I walked by, I'm like, what is this witchcraft?

我走了過去，我想，這是什麼巫術？

And I just backed into my own room.

我就退進了自己的房間。

Fellas, we hang out different.

夥計們，我們在一起不一樣。

Guys, when we hang out, we sit in a straight line.

夥計們，我們出去玩的時候，都是坐成一條直線的。

TV on full blast.

電視全開

Zero eye contact with each other.

彼此沒有眼神交流。

My girl came home early, she was so confused.

我女兒很早就回來了，她很困惑。

She was like, babe, you guys didn't talk for like six hours.

她說，寶貝，你們有六個小時沒說話了。

I'm like, yeah, isn't that fucking awesome?

我想，是啊，這他媽不是很棒嗎？

My dad's just from a different generation.

我父親只是來自不同的年代。

He has like a weird beauty standard.

他的審美標準很奇怪

Like for us, we just say things on very surface level, just like, oh, this person's attractive, this person's not, right?

就像對我們來說，我們只是說一些表面上的東西，就像，哦，這個人很有吸引力，這個人沒有吸引力，對嗎？