Yes.

是的。

So that's your second marriage in two years.

所以這是你兩年內的第二次婚姻。

Yes, second in two years.

是的，兩年內第二次。

Third overall.

總分第三

Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never have I had so much business from one client.

羅斯，我做離婚律師已經 23 年了，從來沒有一個客戶給我帶來這麼多生意。

Why don't you tell me what happened?

你為什麼不告訴我發生了什麼事？

Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk.

基本上，瑞秋和我在拉斯維加斯喝醉了。

I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel whose name you said at the altar in the second marriage?

對不起，這是你第二次結婚時在聖壇上念過名字的那個瑞秋嗎？

Yes, yes, yes.

是的，是的，是的。

But I do not love her.

但我不愛她。

Oh. That's better then.

哦，這樣好多了 Oh.這樣好多了

I thought this was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled.

我以為這只是一個酒後的錯誤，我需要把它取消掉。

I see.

我明白了

Have you considered therapy?

你考慮過治療嗎？

I think just the annulment for today.

我想，只有今天的廢止令了。

There are a couple of forms to fill out.

有幾份表格需要填寫。

Easy.

簡單。

And we'll need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of sound mind.

我們需要證人來證明你精神不正常

No problem.

沒問題。

And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.

我們需要你和瑞秋出庭作證

Ooh.

哦

There's no way to do this without her because I kind of already told her it was taken care of.

沒有她我也沒辦法，因為我已經告訴她事情已經處理好了。

Of course you did.

你當然知道。

Look, Ross, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.

聽著，羅斯 除非你和瑞秋都在場 否則你不能宣佈婚姻無效

Uh-huh.

嗯哼

What about someone who looks like Rachel?

長得像瑞秋的人呢？

I will think about the therapy.

我會考慮治療的。

Oh.

哦。

This guy says, hello, I want to kill myself.

這傢伙說，你好，我想自殺。

Are you okay, sweetie?

你還好嗎，親愛的？

I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.

我只覺得有人把手伸進我的喉嚨，抓住我的小腸，把它從我嘴裡拉出來，然後綁在我的脖子上。

Cookie?

餅乾？

Carol moved her stuff out today.

卡羅爾今天把她的東西搬走了

Oh.

哦。

Let me get you some coffee.

我給你倒杯咖啡吧

Thanks.

謝謝。

Ew.

Ew.

Oh, no, no, don't.

哦，不，不，不要。

Stop cleansing my aura.

別再淨化我的靈氣了

Don't just leave my aura alone, okay?

別對我的靈氣置之不理，好嗎？

I'll be fine, all right?

我會沒事的，好嗎？

Really, everyone, I hope she'll be very happy.

真的，各位，我希望她會非常幸福。

No, you don't.

不，你沒有。

No, I don't.

不，我沒有。

No, she left me.

不，她離開了我。

And you never knew she was a lesbian?

你從來不知道她是個女同性戀？

No, okay?

不，好嗎？

Why does everyone keep fixating on that?

為什麼每個人都在糾結這個問題？

She didn't know.

她不知道。

How should I know?

我怎麼知道？

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

有時候，我真希望自己是個女同性戀。

Did I say that out loud?

我大聲說出來了嗎？

All right, Ross, look.

好了，羅斯，聽著

You're feeling a lot of pain right now.

你現在感到非常痛苦。

You're angry.

你生氣了

You're hurting.

你受傷了

Can I tell you what the answer is?

我能告訴你答案是什麼嗎？

Strip joints.

帶狀接頭。

Come on, you're single.

拜託，你還單身呢

Have some hormones.

吃點荷爾蒙

See, but I don't want to be single, okay?

但我不想單身，好嗎？

I just, I just, I just want to be married again.

我只是，我只是，我只是想再婚。

And I just want a million dollars.

我只想要一百萬美元。

Friends, family, we're gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily.

朋友們，家人們，今天我們歡聚一堂 慶祝羅斯和艾米麗的喜結連理

May the happiness we share with them today be with them always.

願我們今天與他們分享的幸福永遠伴隨著他們。

Now, Emily, repeat after me.

現在，艾米麗，跟著我念

I, Emily.

我，艾米麗

I, Emily.

我，艾米麗

Take thee, Ross.

帶你走，羅斯

Take thee, Ross.

帶你走，羅斯

As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health till death parts us.

作為我的合法丈夫，無論疾病還是健康，直到死亡將我們分開。

As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health until death parts us.

作為我的合法丈夫，無論疾病還是健康，直到死亡將我們分開。

Now, Ross, repeat after me.

現在，羅斯，跟著我念

I, Ross.

我，羅斯。

I, Ross.

我，羅斯。

Take thee, Emily.

帶你走，艾米麗

Take thee, Rachel.

帶你走，瑞秋

Emily.

艾米麗

Emily.

艾米麗

Uh, shall I go on?

要我繼續嗎？

That's it.

就是這樣。

I cannot make this decision.

我不能做這個決定。

It is too difficult.

這太難了。

So I am just going to leave it entirely up to the gods of fate.

所以，我打算完全聽天由命。

A magic eight ball?

魔術八號球？

Oh, you can't be serious.

哦，你不是認真的吧。

You can't make this decision with a toy.

你不能用玩具來做這個決定。

No, it's not a toy.

不，這不是玩具。

Well, I don't know what else to do.

我不知道還能怎麼辦。

I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my best friends, or I keep my friend and get divorced for the second time before I'm 30.

我的意思是，我要麼留住我的妻子，失去我最好的朋友之一，要麼留住我的朋友，在我 30 歲之前第二次離婚。

So if anyone else has a better suggestion, let's hear it, because I got nothing.

所以，如果誰有更好的建議，就說出來吧，因為我一無所獲。

All right, don't be shy.

好了，別害羞

Any suggestion will do.

任何建議都可以。

Again.

再來一次

Here we go.

開始了

Magic eight ball.

魔術八號球

Should I never see Rachel again?

我應該再也不見瑞秋嗎？

Ask again later.

稍後再問。

Later is not good enough.

晚一點是不行的。

Ask again later.

稍後再問。

What the hell?

搞什麼鬼？

This is broken.

這個壞了。

It is broken.

它壞了。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Emily's cousin kicked me out.

艾米麗的表妹把我趕出來了

What?

什麼？

Why?

為什麼？

Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.

當你從妻子的表兄那裡轉租公寓，然後離婚時，有時表兄會突然想要回他的公寓。

How can he do that?

他怎麼能這樣做？

Didn't you sign a lease?

你不是簽了租約嗎？

Who needs a lease when it's family?

有了家人，誰還需要租約？

Hey, you can stay with us.

嘿，你可以和我們在一起

Yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊。

We'll take care of you.

我們會照顧你的。

Absolutely.

當然。

I mean, I'm sorry, man, but you have to promise me you will let us know the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair.

我的意思是，我很抱歉，老兄，但你得答應我，等你感覺好些了就告訴我們，這樣我們就可以取笑你的頭髮了。

Yeah.

是啊

We got it.

我們知道了

Okay.

好的

Thanks, you guys.

謝謝你們

I really appreciate this.

我真的很感激。

All right, well,

好吧

I'm gonna get packing again.

我又要收拾行李了

Wow, I've been moving around so much lately,

哇，我最近搬家搬得太頻繁了、

I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.

我開始覺得自己像個遊牧民族了。

What?

什麼？

He thought you said gonad.

他以為你說的是性腺。

Chandler, um,

錢德勒

I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.

我希望你們花一分鐘時間想想這聽起來有多荒謬。

Yeah, I'm kind of wishing everyone wasn't here right now.

是啊，我現在有點希望大家都不在這裡。

Honey, do you know that none of that stuff came from me?

親愛的，你知道這些都不是我說的嗎？

I mean, I never said that I wanted to have babies and get married right now.

我的意思是，我從沒說過我想現在就生孩子和結婚。

Yeah, I don't, but I was really confused, and then I talked to these guys.

是的，我不知道，但我真的很困惑，然後我和這些人談了談。

Who, two divorces and Joey?

誰，兩次離婚和喬伊？

Hey.

嘿。

She's right, you know.

她是對的

Yeah, but still, cheap shot.

是的，但還是很低級。

Yep, we want to get married.

是的，我們想結婚。

Well, there's a service in progress.

服務正在進行中。

Have a seat.

請坐

All right.

好的

Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.

嘟，嘟，嘟，嘟，嘟。

Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.

嘟，嘟，嘟，嘟，嘟。

What are you doing?

你在幹什麼？

Oh, that's the wedding march.

哦，那是婚禮進行曲。

Does that freak you out?

這嚇到你了嗎？

No, only because it's the graduation song.

不，只是因為這是畢業歌。

Okay.

好的

This is it.

就是這裡

We're gonna get married.

我們要結婚了

Are you sure you want to do this?

你確定要這麼做嗎？

Hello, Mrs. Ross.

你好，羅斯太太

Well, hello, Mr. Rachel.

你好 瑞秋先生

Wait, okay.

等等，好吧

Hey.

嘿。

Hi.

你好。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Mmm.

嗯

What?

什麼？

Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night, or?

我們要談談你們昨晚做了什麼嗎？

What do you mean last night?

你說昨晚是什麼意思？

Nothing, nothing, uh, nothing happened last night.

昨晚什麼都沒發生

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

Uh-huh.

嗯哼

Ross invited us all to watch.

羅斯邀請我們大家一起觀看。

We weren't gonna miss our friends getting married.

我們不會錯過朋友們的婚禮。

Oh!

哦！

Who got married?

誰結婚了？

You did?

是嗎？

What?

什麼？

What?

什麼？

What?

什麼？

Wait, hello?

等等，喂？

We didn't get married.

我們沒有結婚。

We didn't get married?

我們沒有結婚？

That's ridiculous.

這太荒謬了。

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

等等，等等，等等，等等。

I remember being in the chapel.

我記得當時在小教堂裡。

Oh, my.

哦，天哪

They would not let us get married when we were that drunk.

我們醉成那樣，他們是不會讓我們結婚的。

They let you get married when you're drunk.

他們讓你在喝醉的時候結婚。

Most people getting married in Vegas are drunk.

大多數在拉斯維加斯結婚的人都喝醉了。

No, I'm drunk right now.

不，我現在喝醉了。

I can't have a mimosa with breakfast.

我不能在早餐時喝含羞草。

I'm on vacation.

我在度假

What are you guys gonna do?

你們打算怎麼辦？

Oh, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer?

哦，我想我們還是找個離婚律師吧？

Oh.

哦。

Well, I think, I think

我想，我想

Ross already has one.

羅斯已經有一個了。

Now, this one's free, right?

這個是免費的吧？

Because you paid for the first two, so you get the third one for free.

因為你為前兩部付了錢，所以第三部是免費的。

Laugh it up, but the joke's on you, because we don't need to get divorced, okay?

笑吧，但玩笑開大了 因為我們不需要離婚，好嗎？

We're just gonna get an annulment.

我們只是要去得到一個廢止。

An annulment?

取消婚約？

Ross, I don't think surgery's the answer here.

羅斯，我認為手術並不能解決問題。

Oh, oh, that's your thing.

哦，哦，那是你的事。

What?

什麼？

Your main thing, you know, that you're the guy who gets divorced.

你的主要任務，你知道，你是那個會離婚的人。

Oh, yeah, yeah.

哦，是的，是的。

That's not my thing.

這不是我的專長。

I do not love getting divorced.

我不喜歡離婚。

Yes, you do.

是的，你會的。

This is your third divorce.

這是你第三次離婚。

God, you love divorce so much, you're probably gonna marry it, and then...

天啊，你這麼喜歡離婚，你可能會和它結婚，然後......

And then it won't work out, so you're gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy.

然後就沒戲了，你就得離婚，離婚的傢伙。

I'm so drunk.

我醉了

Hey, you guys, guess what?

嘿，你們猜怎麼著？

Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce.

巴里和明迪要離婚了。

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Wow.

哇

What is the matter with you?

你怎麼了？

No, Barry and Mindy.

不 巴里和明迪

Oh, sorry.

哦，對不起。

I hear divorce,

我聽到了離婚的聲音、

I immediately go to Ross.

我馬上去找羅斯。

Who's Barry and Mindy?

誰是巴里和明迪？

Barry was the guy that I almost married, and Mindy was my best friend.

巴里是我差點結婚的人，明迪是我最好的朋友。

Oh, oh, wasn't he cheating on you with her?

哦，哦，他是不是和她偷情了？

Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.

是的，但這隻意味著他是在她身上而不是我身上睡著的。

God, can you imagine if I'd actually married him?

天哪，你能想象如果我真的嫁給了他嗎？

I mean, how different would my life be?

我是說，我的生活會有多大不同？

I know what you mean.

我明白你的意思。

I've always wondered how different my life would be if I'd never gotten divorced.

我一直在想，如果我沒有離婚，我的生活會有多大變化。

Which time?

什麼時候？

The first time.

第一次

No, seriously, imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian.

不，說真的，想象一下，如果卡羅爾沒有意識到自己是個女同性戀。

No, I can't.

不，我不能。

I keep seeing it the good way.

我一直看到好的一面。

I bet I'd still be doing my karate.

我打賭我還在練空手道。

Towards the end of our marriage,

我們的婚姻即將結束、

I was doing a lot of karate as a way of releasing the tension from, you know, not doing anything else physical.

我練了很多空手道，以此來釋放緊張的情緒，你知道，我沒有做其他任何體力活。

Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it karate.

也許問題在於你把它念成了 "空手道"。

Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?

媽媽，爸爸，你們還記得那次你們走進我的房間，聞到大麻的味道嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Well, I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot, but...

我告訴過你是錢德勒在抽大麻，但是...

it was me.

是我。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

It was you?

是你嗎？

And, Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired didn't steal your Playboys?

還有，爸爸，你知道那個被你開除的郵差 沒有偷你的花花公子嗎？

Ross did.

羅斯是這麼說的。

Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing.

是啊，格洛麗亞颶風可沒刮壞門廊的鞦韆。

Monica did.

莫妮卡是這麼說的。

Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year.

羅斯已經有一年沒在博物館工作了。

Monica and Chandler are living together!

莫妮卡和錢德勒同居了！

Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced!

羅斯在拉斯維加斯與瑞秋結婚，然後離婚！

Again!

再來一次

That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds.

30 秒鐘就能獲得這麼多資訊。

All right, Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you're in an important relationship is beyond me.

好吧 莫妮卡 我不明白你為什麼要隱瞞 你有一段重要戀情的事實

And we kind of figured about the porch swing.

我們還想到了門廊上的鞦韆。

Ross, drugs, divorced again.

羅斯，吸毒，再次離婚。

What happened, son?

怎麼了，孩子？

I-I, uh, I got tricked into all those things.

我，我，呃，我被騙去做那些事了。

I'm not here.

我不在這裡

That's just my Chinese food.

這只是我的中餐。

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

She has food delivered here?

她把食物送到這裡？

Mm-hmm, yes.

是的