Like that's my goal for the year.

就像這是我今年的目標一樣。

I'm like trying to grow up and it's been a struggle.

我就像在努力長大，這一直是一場鬥爭。

It's the details that get me, it's the little things like refilling my ice tray.

讓我感動的是細節，是重新裝滿冰盒這樣的小事。

Like over the years, I've learned that if you want ice you have to plan ahead.

就像多年來我學到的那樣，如果你想吃冰，就必須提前計劃。

And people point stuff out to me that I would never see.

人們向我指出一些我從未見過的東西。

Like my buddies are like, bro, you need a towel rack.

就像我的朋友們說的，兄弟，你需要一個毛巾架。

I'm like, why?

我想，為什麼？

They're like, to keep the towels dry.

它們就像，讓毛巾保持乾燥。

I'm like, the towels are supposed to dry me.

我想，毛巾是用來擦乾我的。

Like, I don't trust a towel that can't keep itself dry.

比如，我不相信一條不能保持乾燥的毛巾。

But that sounds crazy.

但這聽起來很瘋狂。

I realized that sounds crazy.

我意識到這聽起來很瘋狂。

So I'm just like, oh, I'll get a towel rack.

所以我就想，哦，我去買個毛巾架。

And I realized it's never gonna happen for me.

我意識到這對我來說是不可能的。

Cause my favorite thing to do in the world as an adult is to go into Starbucks, order a drink.

因為作為成年人，我在這個世界上最喜歡做的事情就是去星巴克點一杯飲料。

I'm like, yeah, I'll take a large coffee.

我想，好吧，我要一杯大咖啡。

They're like, what's your name?

他們會問，你叫什麼名字？

I'm like, Penice.

我想，佩尼斯。

But you can't smile like that.

但你不能這樣笑

Like I smiled cause you guys are laughing, but.

我笑是因為你們在笑，但是。

Like if you smile, the adventure ends there.

就像如果你笑了，冒險就結束了。

Like if you're like Penice, he's like, huh, no, seriously, what's your name?

比如你叫佩尼斯，他就會說，啊，不，說真的，你叫什麼名字？

You have to look intense.

你必須看起來很緊張。

Like look at him like you just took Adderall.

就像你剛吃了阿德拉一樣看著他。

You know?

你知道嗎？

I'm like, my name's Penice.

我叫佩尼斯

And if you do that long enough, finally, he will speak.

如果你這樣做的時間足夠長，最後，他就會開口說話。

He'll go, how do you spell that, Penice?

他會走的，怎麼拼，佩尼斯？

And that's, you can smile just a little bit and go, you know how to spell it.

這樣，你就可以微微一笑，然後說，你知道怎麼拼寫了。

Cause that smile says, you know what I'm doing, but you're too far down the rabbit hole.

因為那笑容在說，你知道我在做什麼，但你離兔子洞太遠了。

There's no going back.

沒有退路了。

Right on the cup.

就在杯子上。

And if you do that long enough, finally, he will speak.

如果你這樣做的時間足夠長，最後，他就會開口說話。

He'll go, how do you spell that, Penice?

他會走的，怎麼拼，佩尼斯？

And he will write it on the cup.

他會把它寫在杯子上。

Why?

為什麼？

Because people pass their problems downstream.

因為人們會把自己的問題傳遞給下游。

It's human nature, guys.

這是人之常情，夥計們。

That guy just has to write it, and then the nightmare's over.

那傢伙只要寫出來，噩夢就結束了。

The next guy has to say it out loud.

下一個人必須大聲說出來。

And it comes slow.

而且來得很慢。

There's a lot of cups in front of my cup, you know?

我的杯子前面有很多杯子，你知道嗎？

And the anticipation's my favorite part.

而期待是我最喜歡的部分。

I love it.

我喜歡

That guy gets a little confident in his role.

那傢伙對自己的角色有點自信。

The guy that gets to yell it out, right?

能喊出來的那個人，對嗎？

He's like, yeah, I got a mochiato for Tina.

他說，是的，我給蒂娜買了一杯莫奇朵咖啡。

Where's Tina at?

蒂娜在哪裡？

And Tina's like, oh, it's my turn.

蒂娜就說，哦，輪到我了。

He's like, yeah, there you go.

他說，是的，就這樣。

Enjoy that shit.

好好享受吧

Let's see who's up next.

讓我們看看下一個是誰。

We got a gingerbread spiced latte for Brittany.

我們為布列塔尼買了薑餅香料拿鐵。

Where's Brittany at?

布列塔尼在哪裡？

Brittany's like, oh my God.

布列塔尼的樣子，哦，我的上帝。

He's like, yeah, think about me when you drink that.

他說，是啊，你喝的時候想想我。

Let's see what I got next.

讓我們看看我接下來會得到什麼。

I got a large coffee for, and that's when I get close to him, and I'm just like, say it.

我買了一大杯咖啡 就在這時，我靠近了他 我就想，說吧

Say my name.

說我的名字

And he might not say it at first.

他一開始可能不會說。

And if he doesn't, that's when I touch his face with the back of my hand.

如果他不這樣做，我就用手背摸摸他的臉。

Like that.

就像這樣

And gently.

輕輕地

Why the back of the hand?

為什麼是手背？

Because something magical happens with the back of the hand.

因為手背會發生神奇的變化。

If you touch a man's face with the back of your hand, he will always freeze.

如果你用手背觸摸一個人的臉，他總是會僵住。

I've done it like a thousand times.

我已經做過無數次了。

If you use the back, they always freeze.

如果使用背面，它們總是會凍結。

It's like rubbing a shark's belly, right?

就像揉鯊魚的肚子，對吧？

Because if you use the front of your hand, there's a good chance he's going to recoil.

因為如果你用手的前部，他很有可能會後退。

Just like, what are you doing, man?

你在幹什麼？

But the back of your hand is just confusing enough where they're like, why the back of the hand?

但你的手背讓人很困惑，他們會問，為什麼是手背？

Ah, now I'm just here.

啊，現在我只是在這裡。

And they're like, it kind of feels good.

他們覺得，這種感覺很好。

I'm like, I know, right?

我想，我知道，對吧？

And I just say stuff like, say it, say my name.

我只會說，說吧，說我的名字。

Come on, feed the bear, feed the bear.

來吧，喂熊，喂熊。

Come on, feed the bear.

來吧，喂喂熊。

And finally, he will.

最後，他會的。

He'll say it.

他會說的。

He'll say my name.

他會叫我的名字

And why do I do this?

我為什麼要這麼做？

I don't do this to be a jerk or to mess up anyone's day.

我這樣做並不是要做個混蛋，也不是要擾亂別人的生活。

I do this to remind myself that life's a great place.

我這樣做是為了提醒自己，生活是美好的。

And we have a future as a species.

作為一個物種，我們還有未來。

Because sometimes I get sad when I watch the news.

因為有時我看新聞時會感到悲傷。

I think that we're too divided.

我認為我們的分歧太大了。

And it makes me kind of crazy.

這讓我有點抓狂。

And then I go to Starbucks and I do this because it reminds me that there's no divisions, right?

然後我去星巴克，我這樣做是因為它提醒我沒有分歧，對嗎？

When he says my name out loud, nothing divides us.

當他大聲叫出我的名字時，沒有什麼能阻隔我們。

Race, religion, money, age, none of it.

種族、宗教、金錢、年齡，一個都不能少。

It's all house of cards.

這一切都是紙牌屋。

It falls over, you know?

它倒下了，你知道嗎？

When he goes, penis, every dude feels happiness.

當他走的時候，小弟弟，每個人都會感到幸福。

It doesn't matter what you are.

你是什麼並不重要。

Women, it's 50-50.

女性則各佔一半。

Half think it's funny, half think we're morons.

一半人覺得好笑，一半人覺得我們是白痴。

But men, it's not like they laugh hard.

但男人們，他們笑得並不開心。

They just go, huh, someone said it.

他們就會說，嗯，有人說過。

What?

什麼？