This man, this man has successfully gotten me to every single comedy show on time without fail.

這個人，這個人成功地讓我準時出席了每一場喜劇演出，從未失手。

If I had to describe him to you, Dave looks like the word America.

如果讓我來形容他，戴夫就像 "美國 "這個詞。

Not America, America.

不是美國，是美國

He's about six feet tall, he's white, he has a gray beard, and he wears a trucker hat.

他大約六英尺高，是個白人，留著灰色的鬍子，戴著一頂卡車司機的帽子。

And he's got to be one of the most hardworking people I have ever met.

他是我見過的最勤奮的人之一。

Now when I say hardworking, hey, I'm on the road 46 weeks out of the year, so I know.

我說的 "勤奮"，是指我一年中有 46 個星期都在路上，所以我知道。

Differences, I fly home every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

不同的是，我每週一、二、三都坐飛機回家。

Dave stays on that bus and he gets it to the next city where we meet him.

戴夫留在車上，把車開到了下一個城市，我們在那裡見到了他。

He works anniversaries, holidays, special moments.

他負責紀念日、節假日和特殊時刻。

Christmas time, I was with my family.

聖誕節，我和家人在一起。

Dave was driving that bus on the East Coast.

戴夫在東海岸駕駛那輛巴士。

New Year's, I was with my family.

新年，我和家人在一起。

Dave was on the East Coast driving that bus.

戴夫在東海岸駕駛那輛巴士。

One of the hardest working people I've ever met.

他是我見過的最勤奮的人之一。

I just want to give him a shout out.

我只是想給他點個贊。

In addition to being hardworking, he's very honest.

除了勤奮，他還非常誠實。

Now when I say honest, I don't mean, oh, he does his taxes right.

我說的誠實，並不是說他納稅做得對。

I mean painfully honest, no filter honest.

我的意思是痛苦的誠實，沒有過濾的誠實。

He talks the way people used to.

他說話的方式和以前的人一樣。

He does not have time to mince words.

他沒有時間廢話。

He just calls it like he sees it.

他就是這麼說的。

Before me, he used to work with a man by the name of Kenny G. Grammy Award winner, amazing, amazing music.

在我之前，他曾與一個叫肯尼-G的人共事過，他是格萊美獎得主，音樂令人驚歎。

One day, Kenny G was on his tour bus that Dave was driving, and I guess the two of them had a little discussion.

有一天，肯尼-G 坐在戴夫駕駛的旅遊大巴上，我猜他們倆在車上進行了一番討論。

And Kenny G used some words that Dave would have rather him not have used.

Kenny G 還說了一些戴夫不希望他說的話。

And instead of getting into it with him, this is what Dave does.

戴夫沒有和他爭吵，而是這樣做了。

Kicked Kenny G off of his own bus.

把肯尼-G 從自己的巴士上趕了下來。

Because he would rather lose his job than lose his self-respect.

因為他寧願丟掉工作，也不願失去自尊。

And that's the man I work with.

他就是我的同事。

He's a bad dude.

他是個壞蛋

You guys are clapping, but you should have seen the interview.

你們在鼓掌，但你們應該看看採訪的內容。

Oh, man, it was a good one.

哦，天哪，真是個好主意。

He looks at me and he says, hey, let's get one thing straight.

他看著我說，嘿，讓我們把話說清楚。

I don't give a shit who you are.

我才不管你是誰。

You treat me right, I'll treat you right.

你對我好，我也會對你好。

You pay me on time, you'll live.

按時給我錢，你就能活下去。

Not to mention the fact that he keeps that tour bus squeaky clean.

更不用說，他還把旅遊大巴打掃得乾乾淨淨。

And he takes a lot of pride in that as well.

他也為此感到非常自豪。

One night, I was drinking on the bus, and I go to put my cup down, and I missed the table.

一天晚上，我在公車上喝酒，我去放下杯子，結果沒碰到桌子。

And the cup hit the floor.

杯子掉到了地上。

I didn't get up right away to get the cup, because I figured I'm going to get up in a couple minutes and make myself another drink.

我沒有馬上起身去拿杯子，因為我想我過幾分鐘就會起來，再給自己衝一杯。

I'll pick up the cup then.

那我去拿杯子。

Dave sees the cup on the floor, and then he looks at me and he says, oh, my God,

戴夫看到地上的杯子，然後看著我說，天哪、

Dave sees the cup on the floor, and then he looks at me and says, hey, I ain't your mama.

戴夫看到地上的杯子，然後看著我說，嘿，我不是你媽媽。

Pick that shit up.

撿起來

I get to the back of the bus, and I'm like, wait a minute,

我走到公車後面，想，等一下、

I pay him.

我付錢給他

Hey, Dave, shut up.

嘿，戴夫，閉嘴

Yeah, I'll be in the back in my room.

好的，我在後面的房間裡。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Drive safe.

安全駕駛。

And people tell me, you work with a man who talks that way to you?

人們告訴我，你和一個這樣對你說話的人共事？

Why?

為什麼？

Let me tell you why.

讓我告訴你為什麼。

Because he's honest.

因為他很誠實。

With Dave, you know exactly what you get.

有了戴夫，你就知道自己能得到什麼。

Nowadays, it is so hard for me to tell who's being genuine and who has an agenda.

如今，我很難釐清誰是真心實意，誰是別有用心。

And with him, you know exactly where you stand.

和他在一起，你很清楚自己的立場。

If he likes you, he loves you.

如果他喜歡你，他就是愛你。

And if not, you're on the curb with Kenny G.

如果沒有，你就得和肯尼-G 一起站在路邊。

That being said, I have a story to share.

說到這裡，我有一個故事要和大家分享。

A year and a half ago, maybe longer, we're on the bus, and we're heading down the highway.

一年半以前，也許更久以前，我們在公共汽車上，沿著高速公路前行。

Just so you have kind of an understanding of the bus layout, let's say this is the front.

為了讓你對總線佈局有所瞭解，讓我們假設這是正面。

Here's Dave, the driver, empty seat, and then a sliding door that goes in between him and the rest of the tour bus.

這是司機戴夫，他的座位是空的，然後在他和旅遊大巴的其他部分之間有一扇滑動門。

My buddy Alfred and I are in the living room portion, and we're watching TV.

我和朋友阿爾弗雷德在客廳裡看電視。

We're watching the news.

我們在看新聞

And on the news, there's this person who is running for some type of office.

新聞裡，有個人正在競選某個職位。

No particular office.

沒有特定的辦公室。

And I guess their big plan is to erect a structure between two bodies of land.

我猜他們的大計劃是在兩塊土地之間建造一座建築。

Somewhere.

某處

And I guess they want one side of the structure to finance the entire project.

我猜他們是想讓結構的一側為整個項目提供資金。

Well, my buddy Alfred and I, we have a lot of family that works in construction, and we know a bad job when we see one.

我和我的朋友阿爾弗雷德有很多家人都在建築業工作，我們一看就知道工作不好乾。

So we started to voice our opinion out loud about how we felt about this person and what they wanted to do.

於是，我們開始大聲說出我們對這個人的看法，以及他們想要做什麼。

We're being very loud.

我們的聲音非常大。

So loud, Dave can hear us.

太大聲了，戴夫都能聽見。

And then we hear Dave.

然後我們聽到戴夫

Heheheheheheheheheheh.

嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿。

Heheheheheheheheh.

嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿。

America.

美國。

I yell out to Dave.

我對戴夫喊道。

I said, be quiet, Dave.

我說 安靜點 戴夫

This isn't about you.

這與你無關

He taps a button on the dashboard that activates the sliding door.

他輕按儀表板上的一個按鈕，滑動門就啟動了。

And when the door is about that far from closing, he yells out, I'm building a wall.

當門快關上時，他大喊：我要築牆。

I couldn't even get upset because I was too much in shock over the fact that that came out of someone four feet away from me.

我甚至不能生氣，因為我對離我四英尺遠的人說出這樣的話感到太震驚了。

My buddy Alfred and I, we look like chickens.

我的朋友阿爾弗雷德和我，我們看起來像小雞。

We're like, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

我們就像，ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da。

My cell phone goes off, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da.

我的手機響了，叭噠叭噠叭噠叭噠。

I take out my phone, and there's a text message from Dave.

我拿出手機，裡面有一條戴夫發來的簡訊。

And I said, that's right, he better say I'm sorry.

我說，沒錯，他最好說對不起。

He better say, Dave, I'm sorry.

他最好說，戴夫，對不起。

He better say I'm sorry.

他最好說對不起

He better say, just kidding.

他最好說，只是開個玩笑。

I open up the text message, and it says, and you're paying for it.

我打開簡訊，上面寫著 "你要付錢"。

And people tell me, you still work with him after that?

人們告訴我，在那之後你還和他一起工作嗎？

Yes, I do.

是的，我知道。

I trust that man with my life every single night.

我每晚都把生命託付給他。

I know where his heart's at.

我知道他的心在哪裡

He can say whatever he wants.

他想說什麼就說什麼。

At the end of the day, he still has to drive around like the king of the Mexicans.

說到底，他還是得像墨西哥國王一樣開車到處跑。