SPEAK TO A SOUTHWEST AIRLINES

請聯繫西南航空公司

REPRESENTATIVE.

代表

>> FINALLY.

>> 終於。

>> PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME.

>> 請說出您的姓名。

>> REGINALD KEAN.

>> 雷金納德-基恩

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝。

CONNECTING YOU NOW.

現在就與您聯繫。

>> HI.

>> HI。

THIS IS ZACHARY WITH SOUTHWEST.

我是西南區的扎卡里

AM I SPEAKING WITH VAGINALD

我是在和陰道說話嗎？

CREAM?

奶油？

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> IT'S REGINALD KEAN.

>>是雷金納德-基恩

>> OF COURSE, MR. CREAM.

>> 當然，奶油先生。

AND LET ME BE THE FIRST TO

讓我第一個

APOLOGIZE FOR LOSING YOUR

為失去你的

LUGGAGE.

行李

>> OH, NO, NO, I HAVE MY

>> 哦，不，不，我有我的

LUGGAGE.

行李

I JUST NEED TO CHANGE MY FLIGHT.

我只需要改簽班機。

I'M SUPPOSED TO FLY DENVER TO

我應該從丹佛飛往

NEW YORK TONIGHT BUT I NEED TO

今晚去紐約，但我需要

MOVE IT TO TOMORROW.

移到明天。

>> OKAY.

>> 好的

SO UNFORTUNATELY TOMORROW WE ARE

所以很遺憾，明天我們

VERY FULL.

非常滿。

BUT I CAN GET YOU ON STANDBY FOR

但我可以讓你隨時待命

THE 8:15.

THE 8:15.

>> STANDBY MEANS I'M NOT

>> 待機意味著我不

GUARANTEED TO GET ON THE FLIGHT,

保證上飛機、

THOUGH, RIGHT?

對不對？

>> NO, YOU'LL BE ON THE FLIGHT.

>>不，你會在班機上。

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO STAND BY THE

你只能站在

BATHROOM THE WHOLE TIME.

一直在上廁所

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

SHALL I BOOK THAT FOR YOU?

要我幫你預訂嗎？

>> NO.

>> NO.

I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

我不想那麼做

I'LL JUST TRY ANOTHER AIRLINE

我還是換一家航空公司吧

AND I'LL JUST CANCEL AND GET A

我就會取消，然後得到一個

REFUND.

退款。

>> ALL RIGHTY.

>> ALL RIGHTY.

NO.

不

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> DID YOU JUST SAY NO?

>> 你剛才是拒絕了嗎？

>> YES.

>> 是。

WE ARE TRAINED TO SAY NO AND SEE

我們接受的訓練是說 "不"，然後看看

IF PEOPLE JUST ACCEPT IT.

如果人們接受它。

BUT I SEE THAT YOU WON'T.

但我看你不會。

SO I'LL TRANSFER YOU TO SOMEONE

所以我把你轉給別人

WHO CAN ASSIST.

誰可以提供幫助。

PLEASE HOLD.

請稍候。

>> SOUTHWEST DOESN'T ASSIGN

>> 西南部不分配

SEATS.

座椅：

JUST ANOTHER WAY WE'RE MAKING

只是我們製造

FLYING FEEL LIKE RIDING A CITY

飛行的感覺就像在城市中騎行

BUS.

BUS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> HELLO.

>> 你好。

THIS IS MANDY WITH SOUTHWEST'S

這是西南地區的曼迪

LOST LUGGAGE DEPARTMENT.

丟失行李部門。

CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOUR MISSING

你能描述一下你失蹤的

BAG, SIR?

包，先生？

>> OH, NO, I DIDN'T LOSE MY BAG.

>> 哦，不，我的包沒丟。

I'M JUST TRYING TO CANCEL MY

我只是想取消我的

FLIGHT AND GET A REFUND.

班機並獲得退款。

>> OF COURSE.

>> 當然。

LET ME TRANSFER YOU TO

讓我把你轉到

CANCELLATIONS.

取消。

AND IN CASE WE GET DISCONNECTED

以防斷線

WRITE DOWN THIS REFERENCE

記下這個參考

NUMBER --

編號 --

>> [ SPEAKING RAPIDLY ].

>>[語速很快]。

>> DID YOU GET THAT?

>> 你是怎麼弄到的？

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> GREAT.

>> 太棒了。

PLEASE HOLD.

請稍候。

>> WANT MORE LEG ROOM AND

>> 想要更大的腿部空間和

PREMIUM DRINK SERVICES?

高級飲料服務？

FLY A DIFFERENT AIRLINE.

換一家航空公司

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> THIS IS DONNA.

>> 我是唐娜

AM I SPEAKING WITH VAGINALD?

我是在跟陰道醫生說話嗎？

>> MY NAME IS REGINALD.

>> 我叫雷金納德

LOOK, I JUST WANT A REFUND.

聽著，我只想要退款。

OKAY?

好嗎？

MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME.

也許你能幫我。

>> MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU?

>> 也許我能幫到你？

WHY ONLY MAYBE?

為什麼只是也許？

BECAUSE I'M BLACK?

因為我是黑人？

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> NO, NO.

>> 不，不。

>> LET ME FIND YOUR RACIST ASS A

>> 讓我給你這個種族主義者找一個

WHITE PERSON TO TALK TO.

白人交談。

HOLD, PLEASE.

請稍等

>> WE VALUE YOUR FEEDBACK.

>> 我們重視您的反饋意見。

TO PARTICIPATE IN A BRIEF

參加簡短的

200-QUESTION SURVEY AFTER THIS

之後是 200 個問題的調查

CALL SAY I DO NOT WISH TO

打電話說我不想

PARTICIPATE.

參與。

>> I DO NOT WISH TO

>> 我不想

PARTICIPATE -- WAIT, WAIT.

參與 - 等等，等等。

NO, NO.

不，不。

>> THIS IS CHRISTIE WITH

>>這是克里斯蒂與

SOUTHWEST.

西南：

I SEE ON YOUR FILE THAT YOU

我在你的檔案中看到你

PREFER TO DEAL WITH CUSTOMER

喜歡與客戶打交道

SERVICE REPS THAT ARE WHITE.

服務代表是白人。

AND I GET IT, BROTHER, BECAUSE

我明白了，兄弟，因為

WE OUGHT TO STICK TOGETHER.

我們應該團結在一起

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> NO, NO, NO, NO.

>> 不，不，不，不，不。

PUT ME ON WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.

讓我和別人搭檔

>> HELLO, THIS IS D'ARTAGNAN.

>> 你好，我是達達尼昂。

I CAN GET YOU THAT REFUND, SIR.

我可以給你退款，先生。

THE QUESTION IS WHAT ARE YOU

問題是你

GOING TO DO FOR ME?

會為我做什麼？

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> NO, SOMEONE ELSE.

>>不，是別人。

>> HI.

>> HI。

THIS IS KELLY.

這是凱莉

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

你好嗎？

>> NOT GREAT.

>> 不是很好。

HOW ARE YOU?

你好嗎？

>> HONESTLY?

>> 老實說？

STILL PRETTY DRUNK.

還是很醉

>> ABSOLOOSELY.

>> 當然。

>> YEAH, MAN, ME LOOKING FOR

>> 是的，夥計，我在尋找

YOUR LOST BAG.

你丟失的包

BUT I TINK WE FOUND IT.

但我想我們找到了

IN A BLUE SAMSONITE ROLLIE BAG,

裝在一個藍色的 Samsonite rollie 袋裡、

YEAH?

是嗎？

>> I DIDN'T LOSE MY BAG.

>> 我沒有丟包。

>> I'M SORRY.

>> 對不起。

ME CAN'T HEAR YOU.

我聽不見

BUT ME GET YOUR BAG BACK TO YOU.

我幫你把包拿回來

PLEASE HOLD.

請稍候。

>> HELLO.

>> 你好。

THIS IS MASON.

這是馬森。

>> MASON.

>> MASON.

DUDE.

夥計

JUST LISTEN TO ME.

聽我說

I JUST WANT TO CANCEL MY FLIGHT

我只想取消班機

BUT I KEEP GETTING BOUNCED

但我總是被退回

AROUND TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

在不同的人身邊。

>> I HATE THAT.

>> 我討厭這樣。

IT'S LIKE PUT ME ON WITH

就像把我和

SOMEBODY WHO CAN ACTUALLY DO

有人能真正做到

SOMETHING.

某種東西。

>> YES.

>> 是。

MY GOD, YES.

我的上帝，是的。

YOU GET IT.

你懂的。

>> TOTALLY.

>> 完全正確。

ALL RIGHT.

好的

LET ME TRY AND FIND SOMEONE LIKE

讓我試著找一個這樣的人

THAT FOR YOU.

這是給你的。

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> YOU ARE BEING TRANSFERRED TO

>> 您將被轉移到

A SOUTHWEST REFUND SPECIALIST.

西南退款專家。

>> THANK YOU!

>> 謝謝！

>> IN TRAINING.

>> 培訓中。

>> NO!

>> NO！

>> HEY.

>> 嘿。

>> HELLO?

>> HELLO？

>> YOU GET HIGH?

>> 你會興奮嗎？

>> DARIUS, NO!

>> DARIUS，NO！

SORRY ABOUT THAT, SIR.

對不起，先生

PLEASE HOLD.

請稍候。

>> DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET

>> 你知道嗎？

WI-FI ON YOUR FLIGHT?

班機上有無線網絡嗎？

WE DIDN'T.

我們沒有。

IF YOU KNOW HOW THAT WORKS,

如果你知道如何操作的話、

CONTACT US.

聯繫我們。

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> HELLO, TERMINAL C HUDSON

>>你好，終端 C 哈德遜

NEWS.

新聞

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN PURCHASING

您是否有興趣購買

A WARM DASANI FOR $16.99?

一杯溫熱的達薩尼只要 16.99 美元？

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> NO.

>> NO.

WHY DID THEY TRANSFER ME TO

為什麼把我調到

HUDSON NEWS?

赫德森新聞？

>> OH, WHO, SOUTHWEST?

>> 哦，誰，西南？

HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

這種情況經常發生。

I THINK I CAN GET THEM BACK.

我想我能把它們找回來。

PLEASE HOLD.

請稍候。

>> MR. CREAM.

>> MR.CREAM.

I HOPE ONE OF OUR WHITE

我希望我們的白

EMPLOYEES WAS ABLE TO HELP YOU

員工能夠幫助您

WITH THAT REFUND.

退款。

>> I DON'T PREFER WHITES.

>> 我不喜歡白人。

AND NOBODY HAS HELPED ME.

沒有人幫我。

TO QUOTE DMX, Y'ALL GONNA MAKE

引用 dmx 的一句話，你們都要讓

ME LOSE MY MIND UP IN HERE.

我在這裡失去了理智。

SO CONNECT ME TO THE

讓我與

HIGHEST-RANKING SOUTHWEST

西南最高

EMPLOYEE POSSIBLE RIGHT NOW!

現在可能的僱員！

>> VERY WELL.

>> 非常好。

PLEASE HOLD.

請稍候。

>> GREETINGS.

>> 問候。

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> WHO AM I SPEAKING TO?

>> 我在跟誰說話？

>> I AM BOTH SOUTH AND WEST.

>> 我既在南邊，也在西邊。

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

NORTH AND EAST.

北面和東面。

I'M ALL DIRECTIONS, ALL

我四面八方，所有

DESTINATIONS.

目的地：

AS LONG AS THEY ARE IN THE

只要他們在

UNITED STATES OR MEXICO.

美國或墨西哥。

[ LAUGHTER ]

[笑]

>> GREAT.

>> 太棒了。

CAN YOU CANCEL MY FLIGHT AND

能否取消我的班機並

JUST GIVE ME A REFUND?

只是給我退款？

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> DON'T DO THE NO THING WITH

>> 不做 "不 "的事

ME.

我。

REFUND.

退款。

NOW.

現在

>> SO BE IT.

>> 就這樣吧。

YOUR REFUND HAS BEEN ISSUED.

您的退款已經發放。

MINUS A $75 CANCELLATION FEE AND

扣除 75 美元的取消費和

$200 REBOOKING CHARGE.

重新預訂收費 200 美元。

THANK YOU FOR FLYING SOUTHWEST,

感謝您乘坐西南航空公司的班機、

VAGINALD.

VAGINALD.

>> IT'S REGINALD!

>> 是雷金納德

>> THEN WHY THE BAG SAY JEFFREY

>> 那為什麼袋子上寫著傑弗裡？

SMITH?

史密斯？

[ APPLAUSE ]

[ 鼓掌 ]