There may have been times in the past where you thought you were being nice to someone, only for it to backfire and be mistaken for rudeness.

過去，你可能曾經以為自己對某人很好，結果卻適得其反，被誤認為是粗魯無禮。

If you want to avoid the unintended consequences of robbing someone the wrong way, it's better to carefully choose our words when navigating tricky social interactions.

如果你想避免在處理社交時造成意外的負面後果，最好在應對棘手的社交互動時謹慎選擇我們的言語。

With that said, here are 7 common examples of things we think are polite to say, but are actually rude.

話說回來，以下是七個我們認為禮貌但實際上很無禮的常見例子。

"You look tired."

「你看起來很疲憊。」

Telling someone they look tired may be intended as a gesture of concern, but it can be received as a veiled insult, implying that the person looks unwell or unattractive.

告訴某人他看起來很累可能是出於關心，但可能被視為一種隱晦的侮辱，暗示這個人看起來不健康或不吸引人。

After all, who wants to be told they look tired even if they're having a rough day?

畢竟，誰會想聽到自己看起來很累，即使他們真的度過了一個糟糕的日子呢？

Instead of pointing out their fatigue, how about asking if everything's alright?

與其指出他們的疲勞，不如問問他們是否一切都好？

That way, your genuine concern can still shine through without risking unintended offence.

這樣，你的真誠關心仍然可以得到體現，而不會有無意冒犯的風險。

"You've lost weight. You look great now."

「你瘦了。你現在看起來棒極了。」

Remarking on another person's weight can be easily taken the wrong way, as many people struggle with body image and self-esteem.

評論別人的體重很容易被誤解，因為許多人都在與自己的身體形象和自尊心作鬥爭。

Telling someone they look so much better now that they've lost all that weight, can hurt their feelings, because it inadvertently suggests that the person was not attractive or desirable before losing weight.

告訴某人他們在減肥後看起來好多了，可能會傷害他們的感情，因為這無意中暗示這個人在減肥之前並不吸引人或不受歡迎。

A better approach would be simply to say, "Wow, you look great!"

更好的辦法是簡單地說：「哇，你看起來棒極了！」

Or, "You have a wonderful glow."

或者說：「你氣色真好。」

This way, you can share your appreciation without potentially causing any discomfort or insecurity, and you avoid reinforcing any harmful societal norms equating thinness with beauty.

這樣一來，你可以表達你的讚賞而不會引起任何不適或不安，也避免了強化將瘦與美等同的有害社會標準。

"You're so smart or talented for your age."

「以你的年紀來說，你真聰明/有才華。」

Although seemingly a compliment, this remark can be subtly insulting because it implies surprise and undermines their achievements.

儘管這句話表面上看起來是一種稱贊，但實際上它可能會含有微妙的侮辱，因為它暗示著驚訝，並削弱了他們的成就。

Instead of emphasizing their age, it's better to focus on their skills and achievements outright.

與其強調他們的年齡，不如直接關注他們的技能和成就。

You can say, "Your intelligence and skills are truly impressive."

你可以說：「你的智慧和技能確實令人印象深刻。」

This way, you acknowledge their capabilities without any hint of surprise or condescension tied to their age.

這樣，你既認可他們的能力，也不會因為他們的年齡而感到任何驚訝或居高臨下。

"Don't worry, you'll find someone."

「別擔心，你會找到合適的人的。」

We often tell this to our single friends because we hope it'll comfort them, but it may just unknowingly make them feel worse by creating more pressure for them to settle down soon.

我們經常把這些話告訴單身朋友，希望能安慰他們，但這可能只是在不知不覺中給他們製造了更大的壓力，讓他們不得不盡快安定下來，從而讓他們感覺更糟。

Implying that just because they're single, it means they're lonely.

暗示他們單身就意味著他們孤獨。

It's more compassionate to emphasize personal growth, self-love and genuine connections by saying something like,

通過說出像這樣的話，強調個人成長、自我愛和真正的連接，更加具有同情心：

"Everything will happen at the right time."

「一切都會在正確的時間發生。」

Or, "The best chapters of your life are yet to unfold, regardless of your relationship status."

或者說：「無論你的感情狀況如何，你生命中最美好的篇章還未展開。」

This acknowledges that everyone's journey in the realm of relationships is unique and shifts the emphasis more towards internal growth and self-appreciation.

這承認了每個人在人際關係領域中的旅程都是獨特的，並將重點更多地轉向內在的成長和自我欣賞。

"You're so lucky, you don't have to worry about."

「你真幸運，不用擔心。」

We all have that one person we somewhat envy because it seems like their life is so easy or they have the things we want.

我們每個人都有自己羨慕的人，因為他們的生活似乎很輕鬆，或者他們擁有我們想要的東西。

However, uttering phrases like this can inadvertently dismiss the struggles or responsibilities they have that we might not be aware of.

然而，說出這樣的短語可能會在不經意間忽略他們的掙扎或責任，而我們可能並沒有意識到這一點。

So rather than assuming that everything comes so easily to them and that their life is problem-free, which is never the case, it's more thoughtful to say something like,

因此，與其假設一切對他們來說都是如此輕鬆，並且他們的生活沒有問題，而這絕不是事實，不如說些像這樣更體貼的話：

"I really admire how you handle challenges with grace and determination."

『我真的很欽佩你優雅而堅定地應對挑戰。」

"Well, that's one way to look at it."

「這也是一種看法。」

You might think that this is a polite and non-confrontational way to disagree with someone's opinions or ideas while still acknowledging them, but it can easily come across as sarcasm or derision.

你可能會認為這是一種禮貌的、非對抗性的方式，既能表達對他人觀點或想法的不認同，又能對他人的觀點或想法表示認可，但這種方式很容易讓人覺得是在諷刺或嘲笑他人。

So instead of using this potentially backhanded response, try a more open and respectful approach, such as saying,

所以，與其使用這種可能含有隱晦意義的回應，不如嘗試一種更開放和尊重的方式，比如說：

"I appreciate your perspective."

「我很欣賞你的觀點。」

"Having different viewpoints helps us all to gain a well-rounded understanding."

「不同的觀點有助於我們獲得全面的理解。」

This way, you foster a constructive and inclusive conversation, valuing their input without diminishing their stance.

這樣，你促進了建設性和包容性的對話，重視他們的意見，而不會貶低他們的立場。

"Look at the bright side."

「往好的方面看。」

Ever told someone to look at the bright side when they were going through a tough time?

你是否曾告訴過別人，在經歷困難的時候要看到光明的一面？

Although you probably intended to give them a positive perspective, saying things like this can actually invalidate their feelings and struggles.

雖然你的本意可能是想給他們一個正面的視角，但說這樣的話實際上會讓他們的感受和掙扎變得無效。

Essentially, it can subtly imply that they're overreacting or not handling the situation well.

從根本上說，這可以巧妙地暗示他們反應過度或沒有很好地處理這種情況。

So the next time someone opens up to you about their difficulties, aim to validate their experience rather than minimizing it.

當下次有人向你傾訴他們的困難時，你的目標是驗證他們的經歷，而不是將其最小化。

Try saying, "That sounds so difficult, I'm really sorry this is happening to you."

試著說：「這聽起來很困難，我真的很抱歉發生在你身上。」

Or "It totally makes sense that you're feeling down. Is there anything I can do to make things better?"

或者「你的情緒低落是完全有道理的。我能做些什麼來改善這情況嗎？」

Misguided attempts at politeness can sometimes lead to backhanded compliments or harmful advice.

錯誤的禮貌嘗試有時會導致反手恭維或有害的建議。

So understanding the potential negative impact of our words is crucial for fostering respectful and genuine communication.

瞭解我們的言語可能產生的負面影響，對於促進相互尊重和真誠的交流至關重要。

Being mindful of how our expressions may be perceived by others is key to building stronger, more empathetic relationships.

注意我們的表達方式會如何被他人感知，是建立更牢固、更具同理心的人際關係的關鍵。

Wouldn't you agree, Psych2Goers?

你同意嗎，Psych2Goer？

What are some other polite things you've said or were said to you that you're realizing might have actually been rude?

你說過的或別人對你說過的禮貌用語中，還有哪些是你意識到可能實際上是粗魯的？

Let us know your insights in the comments down below.

請在下面的評論中發表你的見解。

And if you're interested in learning more about this topic, click here to watch our video "Exposing 5 Qualities That Are Actually Bad".

如果你有興趣瞭解更多相關資訊，請點擊此處觀看「揭露實際上不好的五種品質」的影片。

Don't forget to like and subscribe before you go. Thanks for watching!

去看之前別忘了按讚和訂閱。感謝觀看！