And this dinky delight still holds a special flowery place in my otherwise cold, dead heart, as it was the first blower I ever bought just before I left school, a quarter of a century ago. F*** I'm old.

這臺小巧玲瓏的鼓風機在我冰冷死寂的心中依然佔據著特殊的位置，因為它是我在 25 年前離開學校前買的第一臺鼓風機。他媽的，我老了。

And to celebrate this anniversary, HMD Global has spunked out a new, updated version of this classic dumb phone, which you can grab now for just 75 British quids.

為了慶祝這一週年紀念，HMD Global 推出了這款經典傻瓜手機的全新升級版，現在只需 75 英鎊即可購買。

And I do love this bloody promo photo. I bet the model A wasn't even born when the original 3210 came out. Mind you, I'd absolutely love a pair of those trousers.

我很喜歡這張血腥的宣傳照。我敢打賭，原版 3210 推出時，模特 A 甚至還沒出生。不過，我倒是很想買一條這樣的褲子。

They'd be very handy for carrying around loads of phones for camera comparison purposes.

攜帶大量手機進行相機對比時，它們會非常方便。

Anyway, let's check out this fresh new 2024 edition of the Nokia 3210 before I wither away entirely. And for more on the latest and greatest tech, please do poke a subscribe, ding that notifications bell. Cheers!

總之，在我完全凋零之前，讓我們來看看這款全新的 2024 版諾基亞 3210 吧。如果您想了解更多最新、最棒的科技資訊，請戳訂閱，叮一下通知鈴。乾杯

So what do you actually get in this dinky wee box? Well, you've got yourself a Nokia 3210, naturally. Got an adapter, so you don't even get bundled with most thousand pound smartphones these days. And a quick start guide, and that's your lot. And here we have it, boys and girls, the Nokia 3210, refreshed for 2024. It's like I'm 17 all over again, apart from the lack of hair and the constantly aching liver. You certainly have to appreciate just how dinky mobile phones were back in the day. It weighs just 88 grams. It's so miniature, it'll basically slip into any pockets, any pants, and in a pinch, pretty much any orifice you fancy as well. You've got three colour options with the 3210. You've got scuba blue, grunge black, or this here, Y2K gold effort. Y2K, there's another nostalgia fest. I bet if you tried explaining Y2K to someone who was born in the 21st century, they'd think we were all a bunch of hillbilly f***ing idiots back in the day. So you were all convinced that on January 1st, 2000, all of our computers would simultaneously melt, and planes would fall out of the sky, and we'd basically all end up living in caves singing Kumbaya. I mean, yeah, it sounds a bit mental now, but it was all perfectly plausible at the time. Even Trevor McDonald said it would happen. Oh my god, that noise, absolutely not. How do I turn this s*** off? I cannot find the audio options in here anywhere, and if I don't find them soon, I am actually going to top myself.

那麼，這個小盒子裡到底裝了些什麼呢？當然是諾基亞 3210。還有一個適配器，這可是現在大多數千磅智能手機都沒有的。還有一份快速入門指南，這就是你的全部了。這就是諾基亞 3210，2024 年的新產品。除了沒有頭髮和經常肝疼之外，我彷彿又回到了 17 歲。當然，你也必須瞭解當年的手機有多小巧。它只有 88 克重。它是如此迷你，基本上可以塞進任何口袋、任何褲子，在緊要關頭，還可以塞進你喜歡的任何口子。3210 有三種顏色可供選擇。你可以選擇潛水藍、格調黑，或者這裡的千年蟲金色。千年蟲，又是一個懷舊的節日。我敢

Oh my god, there we go. Put it on silent mode. Thank Christ. So similar design to the original

天啊，又來了調到靜音模式感謝上帝與原版設計如此相似

Nokia 3210 mobile phone, of course, except now you've got a 2.4 inch TFT screen. So it's grown in size, and as you can see, they're full colour as well, rather than the monochrome affair slapped on the original. And of course, it's that S30 Plus OS that we all know and love. And HMD is selling the Nokia 3210 as a great way of doing a digital detox, because it's basically got bugger all internet, social media, apps in general. And there's 4G support on here, but no Wi-Fi, so if you do want to get connected, you will have to slip a SIM in there. You've got a pair of SIM slots, although one of them can also house a micro SD memory card. You can slightly customise your

諾基亞 3210 手機，當然，只不過現在有了一個 2.4 英寸的 TFT 螢幕。是以，它的尺寸增大了，而且正如你所看到的，它們也是全綵色的，而不是原來的單色。當然，它還採用了我們都熟悉和喜愛的 S30 Plus 作業系統。HMD 將諾基亞 3210 作為數字排毒的絕佳方式進行銷售，因為它基本上沒有任何互聯網、社交媒體和應用程序。諾基亞 3210 支持 4G，但沒有 Wi-Fi，所以如果你想連接網絡，就必須插入 SIM 卡。手機有兩個 SIM 卡插槽，其中一個還可以插入 micro SD 存儲卡。您可以對您

Nokia 3210, so for instance, you can change up the background. Got a small selection of pre-installed efforts there. All of them a bit cack, frankly. Or you can also select your own photo. So you can chuck on a picture of your bestie, or just yourself if you haven't got any mates. And you've got all the usual S30 Plus apps on here, so you can call people. You can actually jump onto the internet if you're willing to put up with a bit of Opera Mini. This takes me right back to those glorious WAP days, bit of the crazy frog. Checking the football scores would always take about five hours. Connecting. Oh Jesus, there we go. Yeah, 60 seconds of this and I am well out.

諾基亞 3210 可以改變背景。這裡有一小部分預裝軟件。老實說，它們都有點糟糕。你也可以選擇自己的照片。所以你可以放上你閨蜜的照片，如果你沒有閨蜜，也可以只放自己的照片。你還可以使用所有常用的 S30 Plus 應用程序，所以你可以打電話給別人。如果你願意忍受一下 Opera Mini，你還可以上網。這讓我又回到了那個輝煌的 WAP 時代，有點像瘋狂的青蛙。查看足球比分總是要花上五個小時。連接天哪，又來了。是啊，60 秒鐘我就能搞定。

Now you've got good old Snake, of course, the game that refuses to die. So you could play this or play an even more fun game, like seeing how many times you can punch yourself in the nuts before you puke. And it appears both me and my snake lost the will to live. And at first glance it looks like you get quite a few other games pre-installed on here, until you realise you actually have to pay money, actual real money for them. I do have a trial version of Crossy Road, so let's give this a go.

當然，現在你還能玩到 "貪吃蛇 "這款老遊戲。所以，你可以玩這個，或者玩一個更好玩的遊戲，比如看你能在嘔吐前給自己的蛋蛋來幾拳。看來我和我的蛇都失去了求生意志。乍一看，這裡似乎還預裝了不少其他遊戲，直到你意識到你必須為它們付錢，真正的真金白銀。我有 Crossy Road 的試用版，那就試試吧。

Yeah, just as banging as always. Ah, piss flaps. A bit of Arrow Master, more like Ass Master. And yeah, the Nokia 3210 also doubles up as an MP3 player. Got an actual headphone jack up top, otherwise

是啊，還是一如既往的棒。啊，小便擋板有點像箭頭大師，更像屁股大師。沒錯，諾基亞 3210 還能當 MP3 播放器用。上面還有一個耳機插孔。

Bluetooth 5 support. You've got a decidedly measly 128 megabytes of storage for your MP3 files, but you can thankfully expand that, as I mentioned before, via microSD up to a further 32 gigs.

支持藍牙 5。MP3 文件的存儲空間只有區區 128 兆字節，但正如我之前提到的，你可以通過 microSD 將其擴展到 32 G。

And you've also got yourself an FM radio, if you fancy enduring endless edge shearing.

如果你想忍受無休止的邊緣剪切，還可以使用調頻收音機。

Although I do like to pretend that that persistent invasive buzzing type sound that you get when listening to the FM radio on a mobile phone is actually a hive of angry bees who dislike edge shearing as much as I do, and are preparing themselves to sting the living f*** out of him.

雖然我喜歡假裝，用手機收聽調頻收音機時發出的那種持續不斷的嗡嗡聲，其實是一窩憤怒的蜜蜂，它們和我一樣不喜歡剪邊，正準備把他蜇個半死。

And of course the Nokia 3210 also boasts a almighty 2 megapixel rear camera, complete with a flash for those night shots. You do have some pro controls on here, you can fiddle around with the contrast, the exposure level, and yes, even a small variety of filters. So yes, you too can capture some absolutely banging images like these. And yeah, if you're so inclined, you can even shoot a bit of video with the Nokia 3210. Banging! As for the battery, well it's a 1450 mAh capacity cell stuffed inside of that dinky Nokia 3210 frame. And according to HMD Global, that should serve up just under 10 hours of talk time. That's how we used to measure battery life rather than how many hours of tentacle hentai can I stream. And there you have it my lovelies, that in a tearsty wee nutshell is the fresh new Nokia 3210 2024 edition, 25 years on from the original and certainly a massive burst of nostalgia for old gits like me. It'll do the job as a simple burner type phone if you just want to go away to a festival but still be able to, you know, get in touch with people back home for whatever reason. But of course there are cheaper options than this available, so it's only really if you've got some sort of affiliation with the Nokia 3210 and you really fancy jumping back on board with that bad boy that you'd really want to stump up the extra cash. That's what I reckon anyway, it'd be great to hear your thoughts down in the comments below.

當然，諾基亞 3210 還擁有一個強大的 200 萬像素後置攝像頭，併為夜景拍攝配備了閃光燈。你可以在這裡進行一些專業控制，你可以擺弄對比度、曝光度，甚至還可以使用各種濾鏡。是的，你也可以拍攝出像這樣令人震撼的照片。如果你願意，還可以用諾基亞 3210 拍攝視頻。嘭嘭嘭至於電池，在諾基亞 3210 的小巧機身中塞進了一塊 1450 毫安時容量的電池。根據 HMD Global 的說法，該電池的通話時間應在 10 小時以內。這就是我們用來衡量電池續航時間的標準，而不是我可以流暢地觀看多少小時的觸手henta

Please do poke subscribe and ding that notifications bell for more on the latest and greatest tech and have yourselves a ruddy wonderful rest of the week. Cheers everyone, love you.

請點擊訂閱並按下通知鈴，瞭解更多最新、最棒的技術資訊，祝你們在本週剩下的時間裡玩得開心。大家乾杯，愛你們。