I love statistics, big data analytics, whatever it is, but here's the thing.

我喜歡統計、大數據分析，不管是什麼，但問題是這樣的。

When it comes to big data, there's a lot of bad data out there because statistics can be manipulated.

說到大數據，有很多糟糕的數據，因為統計數據是可以被操縱的。

To show you how you can manipulate statistics, these are actual true statistics.

為了向你展示如何操縱統計數據，這些都是真實的統計數據。

Watch what I do with them.

看我怎麼看待它們。

These are actual true.

這些都是真實的。

It turns out in China, there's about 1.4 billion people in China, right?

原來在中國，大約有 14 億人，對嗎？

1.4.

1.4。

There are 7 billion people on earth.

地球上有 70 億人口。

Therefore, statistically, it cannot be argued, one out of every five babies born on earth are in fact Chinese.

所以，從統計數字來看，毫無疑問，地球上每五個出生的嬰兒中就有一個是中國人。

So you could say, statistically, if you've got four kids, you're expecting a fifth, it will be Chinese.

所以你可以說，從統計學上講，如果你有四個孩子，你要生第五個，那就會是中國人。

So don't be surprised, that's all I'm saying.

所以不要驚訝，這就是我要說的。

Don't be surprised.

不要驚訝。

I don't have a problem with it.

我沒有意見。

If your fifth kid's gonna be Chinese, just deal with it.

如果你的第五個孩子會是中國人，就接受吧。

So when you hear a statistic, always ask about the other side of a statistic.

所以當你聽到一個統計數據時，一定要詢問統計數據的另一面。

You know, look at it from a different perspective.

你知道，要從不同的角度看問題。

44% of marriages end in divorce.

44% 的婚姻以離婚告終。

Now, that's a scary number.

這是一個可怕的數字。

That's scary.

太可怕了。

When you first get married, you're like, "Oh my God."

剛結婚的時候，你會覺得：「天哪。」

But here's the thing.

但問題是，

It's not so scary when you look at it from a different perspective.

換個角度看問題，就不那麼可怕了。

If 44% of marriages end in divorce, you know what that means?

如果 44% 的婚姻以離婚告終，你知道這意味著什麼嗎？

56% of marriages end in death.

56%的婚姻以死亡告終。

Those are the two ways that marriages end, folks.

這就是婚姻的兩種結局，各位。

Apparently, this is just occurring to some of the married people out there.

顯然，這只發生在一些已婚人士身上。

Just enjoy being married because it's not pretty when it ends, trust me.

享受婚姻吧，因為婚姻結束時並不美好，相信我。

Perspective is important.

視角很重要。

Here's another one.

這裡還有一個。

65% of Americans are overweight for their height.

與身高相比，65% 的美國人超重。

But maybe, just maybe, 65% of Americans are just not tall enough for their weight.

但也許，只是也許，65% 的美國人只是身高不夠。

I am not 20 pounds overweight.

我沒有過重 20 磅。

I am three inches too short, darn it.

我矮了三英寸，真該死。

I'm going to Height Watchers.

我要參加《身高監察員》。(原指 Weight Watchers 《體重監察員》為一間管理體重的公司）

The insurance companies will tell you this is true.

保險公司會告訴你這是真的。

95% of all car accidents occur within one mile of your home.

95% 的車禍都發生在離家一英里以內的地方。

That is true.

真的。

And even in the brightest of crowds, there's always a couple of people thinking, "Ooh, I got to move."

即使在最熱鬧的人群中，也總會有幾個人在想：「哦，我得走了。」

No, that's not going to help.

不，這無濟於事。

Trust me, that is not going to help.

相信我，這無濟於事。

But if you believe that, therefore, if you believe that, the safest thing to do is park one mile from your home and walk the rest of the way.

但是，如果你相信這一點，那麼，如果你相信這一點，最安全的做法就是把車停在離家一英里的地方，然後步行走完剩下的路程。

Really, do that, please do that.

真的，就這麼做吧，求你了。

This one's amazing.

這個太棒了。

I wrote it as a joke, but I actually think it's a good idea.

我是開玩笑寫的，但實際上我覺得這是個好主意。

Watch this.

看這個。

When the lottery a couple years ago hit $1.6 billion, 146 million people bought tickets.

幾年前，當樂透銷售額達到 16 億美元時，有 1.46 億人購買了彩票。

146, remember that number.

146，記住這個數字。

146 million people bought tickets.

1.46 億人購買了門票。

In the 2016 president's election, 136 million people voted.

在 2016 年的總統選舉中，有 1.36 億人参加了投票。

10 million less than played the lottery.

比玩樂透的人還少 1000 萬。

Yeah.

是啊。

So you know what?

所以你知道嗎？

We want more people to vote.

我們希望有更多的人投票。

Every election, we should pick one voter to win $1.6 billion.

每次選舉，我們都應該挑選一名選民，贏得 16 億美元。

Look at that, now we're all, "I can't wait to vote. Let's go vote."

看看，現在我們都在想：「我等不及要投票了。 我們去投票吧。」

We wait in line for hours.

我們排了幾個小時的隊。

"Who you voting for?"

「你投給誰？」

"I don't care. Give me a quick pick. I just got to get in."

「我不在乎給，我一個快速選擇。」

This is a true survey.

這是一項真實的調查。

They asked women.

他們問婦女，

I did not make this up.

這不是我編的。

I read this and immediately thought what I'm about to share.

讀到這，我立刻想到了我要分享的內容。

33% of women polled said they have dated an ugly guy just because he was funny.

33% 的受訪女性表示，她們曾與醜陋的男人約會，只是因為他很有趣。

Which I think is amazing.

我覺得這很了不起。

Ladies, you use a criteria.

女士們，你們使用了一個標準。

I've never heard a man ever say, "Well, she's not very pretty, but she's funny. I want to go out with her."

我從沒聽男人說過：「她不漂亮，但很有趣。我想和她約會。」

Doesn't happen.

沒有發生過。

So thank you, ladies, for being so much less shallow than men.

所以，謝謝你們，女士們，你們比男人們膚淺得多。

That's what I'm saying.

我就是這個意思。

So I thought that was great until I realized, hold on. I'm married.

所以我覺得這很好，直到我意識到，等等。我結婚了

You know what that really means?

你知道這意味著什麼嗎？

That means there's a one in three chance my wife thinks I'm ugly.

這意味著我妻子有三分之一的可能認為我很醜。

I'm like, "Honey, am I good looking?"

我說：「親愛的，我好看嗎？」

"You're funny." - "Shut up."

「你很風趣。」- 「閉嘴。」

And then finally, I hear this one on the radio all the time.

最後，我經常在收音機裡聽到這件事。

One out of 10 people suffer from hemorrhoids.

每 10 人中就有 1 人因痔瘡而受苦。

One out of 10 people suffer from hemorrhoids.

每 10 人中就有 1 人因痔瘡而受苦。

Does that mean that nine out of 10 people actually enjoy hemorrhoids?

這是否意味著十個人中有九個人喜歡痔瘡？

Ooh, the itching and burning.

哦，瘙癢和灼痛。

Ooh, it's that time of year they're back, ooh.

哦，每年這個時候，他們都會回來，哦。

Let's go dancing.

我們去跳舞吧。

I can't sit down anyway.

反正我也不能坐下。

Come on.

來吧。