Workplaces are full of people who are going to push our buttons, or annoy us, or irritate us.

工作場所有很多人會觸動我們的底線，或惹惱我們，或激怒我們。

We often think, eh, it's just work, right?

我們常常想，不就是工作嗎？

I can go home. I can let go.

我可以回家。我可以放手了。

But what we see in the research is that one negative interaction between you and another colleague can have a detrimental effect on your mental health and your career.

但我們在研究中看到的是，你和另一位同事之間的負面互動可能會對你的心理健康和職業生涯產生不利影響。

It doesn't have to be that way.

沒必要這樣。

I'm Amy Gallo.

我是Amy Gallo。

I'm the co-host of Harvard Business Review's Women at Work podcast and the author of "Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone, Even Difficult People."

我是《哈佛商業評論》女性職場播客的共同主持人，也是《相處：如何與任何人，甚至是難相處的人一起工作》一書的作者。

When I started writing my book, I really wanted to get people help with their particular colleagues that were pushing their buttons.

當我開始寫書時，我真的很想讓人們為那些正在推動他們的特定同事提供幫助。

I knew that there was lots of research about how to handle specific patterns of behavior.

我知道有很多關於如何處理特定行為模式的研究。

So I developed eight archetypes of people we find most annoying at work and how to address those patterns of behavior to get the results that you want.

因此，我開發了八種我們認為工作中最煩人的人的原型，以及如何解決這些行為模式以獲得你想要的結果。

The eight archetypes are the insecure boss, the pessimist, the victim, the passive-aggressive peer, the know-it-all, the tormentor, the biased coworker, and the political operator.

這八種原型是沒有安全感的老闆、悲觀主義者、受害者、被動攻擊性的同事、萬事通、折磨者、有偏見的同事和政治操縱者。

I've divided the patterns of behavior into eight archetypes because I want you to be able to get the specific advice that you need,

我將行為模式分為八種原型，因為我希望你能獲得你需要的具體建議，

and, perhaps more importantly, to make sense of the behavior that you're observing in your colleague.

也許更重要的是，理解你在同事身上觀察到的行為。

Of your eight archetypes, what are your three favorites?

在你的八個原型中，你最喜歡的三個是什麼？

None of the archetypes are my favorite because they're all not that fun to deal with.

這些原型都不是我最喜歡的，因為處理它們都不是那麼有趣。

But I think the three most difficult archetypes to get along with are, number one, the passive-aggressive peer.

但我認為三個最難相處的原型是，第一，被動攻擊型同事。

The person who says one thing then does another, or acts as if they're really angry, but when you ask them how they're doing, they say, "I'm just fine."

這些是說一套做一套的人，或者表現得好像他們真的很生氣，但當你問他們做得怎麼樣時，他們會說：「我很好。」

Bill Lumbergh, the character from "Office Space", for example.

例如，Bill Lumbergh，《辦公室空間》中的角色。

We have sort of a problem here.

有一個問題。

Yeah, you apparently didn't put one of the new cover sheets on your TPS reports.

是的，你顯然沒有在 TPS 報告中新增新的封面頁。

Did you see the memo about this?

你看到關於這個的備忘錄了嗎？

When someone is behaving passive-aggressively, recognize that they're probably not being passive-aggressive on purpose; chances are they're afraid of something.

當某人表現被動攻擊時，要認識到他們可能不是故意要表現被動攻擊；很有可能他們在害怕某件事情。

They're afraid of failure or rejection; they're conflict-averse, or they feel powerless.

他們害怕失敗或被拒絕；他們厭惡衝突，或者感到無能為力。

You can try to understand a little bit more about what's underneath that.

你可以試著更多地了解底層的原因。

You won't call them passive-aggressive.

你不會稱他們為被動攻擊。

Ideally, you will not dismiss them for that behavior, but you'll use that understanding to allow room for them to articulate their thoughts and feelings in a more direct way.

理想情況下，你不會因為這種行為而對他們不理不睬，而是利用這種理解來讓他們有更多的空間以更直接的方式表達他們的想法和感受。

The second is the insecure boss.

第二種是沒有安全感的老闆。

They tend to micromanage.

他們傾向於微觀管理。

You might think about Michael Scott from "The Office".

你可能會想到《辦公室》中的 Michael Scott。

Here's what's going to happen.

接下來會發生什麼？

I'm going to have to fix you, manage you two on a more personal scale, a more micro form of management.

我將不得不修正你，更加個人化地管理你們兩個，更微觀的管理形式。

Jim, what is that called?

Jim，這叫什麼？

- Microgement. - Boom. Yes.

- 微觀管理。- 沒錯。

Their lack of security can often make you question yourself.

他們缺乏安全感往往會讓你質疑自己。

One of the tactics right away is to point out what they're good at, and it has to be something you genuinely feel they're good at.

其中一種策略是立即指出他們擅長的事情，而且這必須是你真正覺得他們擅長的事情。

Are they good at pointing out risks?

他們善於指出風險嗎？

Are they good at bringing the team together?

他們善於凝聚團隊嗎？

Point that out.

指出這一點。

Tell them that you appreciate it, if you do.

如果你這樣做了，請告訴他們你很感激。

The third archetype that I find incredibly challenging is the tormentor.

我發現非常具有挑戰性的第三個原型是折磨者。

This archetype is most like Darth Vader.

這個原型最像達斯·維達。

I'm here to put you back on schedule.

我是來幫你恢復正常的。

I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can.

維達大人，爵我的人正在拼命工作。

Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

也許我能找到激勵他們的新方法。

That's the person who you expect to be a mentor, but who seems set on undermining you.

這就是你期望成為導師的人，但他似乎一心想要削弱你。

This person can really damage your career and damage your self-esteem by making you feel like you are not cut out for the job that you know you are.

這個人會讓你覺得自己不適合你所知道的工作，從而真正損害你的職業生涯並損害你的自尊。

So what do you do when someone is tormenting you instead of lifting you up?

那麼，當有人折磨你而不是鼓舞你時，你會怎麼做？

Show that you're invested in their success.

表明你對他們的成功投入了心血。

Show that you're willing to focus on what their goals are.

表明你願意關注他們的目標。

You are not challenging them. You're not threatening them.

你不是在挑戰他們。你不是在威脅他們。

When you have a negative interaction with a colleague, it is tempting to focus on all the ways that you would like them to change,

當你與同事進行消極互動時，你很容易把注意力集中在你希望他們改變的所有方面，

but you cannot always control how they think, what they value, and how they behave.

但你無法總是控制他們的想法、價值觀和行為。

And you certainly can't control whether they are invested in changing the way they behave.

而且你當然無法控制他們是否投資於改變他們的行為方式。

What you can impact is the way you think about and react to them, and then how you behave, which will not only change the dynamic between you,

你能影響的是你思考和反應的方式，以及你的行為方式，這不僅會改變你們之間的動態，

but will also model the behavior that you hope to see from them.

但也會模仿你希望從他們身上看到的行為。

So really the first place to start is to do some reflection, not just on the way that you might be contributing to the dynamic,

因此，實際上首先要做的就是進行一些反思，而不僅僅是思考你可能為動態做出貢獻的方式，

but also on why you have such a strong reaction to it.

也要解釋為什麼你對此有如此強烈的反應。

What might be a rational reason for why they're behaving the way they are?

他們這樣做的合理原因是什麼？

You know, all of that reflection will help lay the groundwork so that you can then choose tactics that you want to try to alter the dynamic and ideally improve the relationship.

你知道，所有這些反思都將有助於奠定基礎，以便你可以選擇你想要嘗試改變動態並理想地改善關係的策略。