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  • In this morning's Tune-up Tuesday, we're going to learn about reading people, something our next guest is an expert in.

    在今天的「Tune-up Tuesday」中,我們將學習如何閱人,這是我們下一位嘉賓的專長。

  • So Evy Poumpouras is a former secret service agent who protected presidents and also worked as an interrogator for the agency's elite polygraph unit.

    Evy Poumpouras 是一名前特勤特工,曾保護過總統,並且還在該機構的精英測謊小組擔任過訊問官。

  • Her book is called "Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly".

    她的書名為《Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly》。

  • Evy, good morning. - Good morning.

    Evy,早安。- 早安。

  • So you're going to teach us how to read people and you say the most important thing is to stop talking and listen.

    所以你要教我們如何閱人,你說最重要的事情是停止說話,聆聽對方。

  • Well, first we have to get a baseline, right?

    首先我們必須建立一個基準,對吧?

  • I need to know who I have in front of me because everybody's different.

    我需要知道我面前是誰,因為每個人都不一樣。

  • So when we do less talking and we do more of this, you can actually get a sense of who somebody is.

    所以當我們少說話,多做這些(聆聽)時,你可以真正感受到某個人是什麼樣的人。

  • So the other thing you can do if you have somebody, let's say, that doesn't like to talk, TED;

    所以如果你遇到不喜歡說話的人,你可以做的另一件事就是 TED:

  • tell me about that, explain this to me, describe what you're thinking and then you let them go, and they will tell you a story.

    告訴我關於這個的事情,向我解釋這個,描述你在想什麼,然後讓他們說出來,他們會告訴你一個故事。

  • It's like talking to children. You can't ask them yes or no questions. - Correct.

    這就像和小孩交談一樣。你不能問他們是或否的問題。- 沒錯。

  • So when you're trying to read someone is it because you don't believe them or, you know, why would you read someone?

    當你試圖讀懂某人時,是因為你不相信他們,還是因為其他原因,你為什麼要讀懂某人呢?

  • It's for everything. One, it's yes, it's detecting deception. Of course, we want to know what people are thinking and especially if they're lying to us.

    這是為了各種原因。首先,是,它是用於檢測說謊。當然,我們想知道人們在想什麼,特別是如果他們對我們說謊的話。

  • The other thing, it's going to help you have better relationships, build rapport, understand what's going on with the other person because we always want to see things from our lens but when you can connect with people, they reveal themselves to you.

    另一件事是,它將幫助您建立更好的關係,建立融洽,了解對方正在發生的事情,因為我們總是希望從自己的角度看事情,但當你能夠與人建立聯繫時,他們會向你展現自己。

  • You're creating space for people to show you what's going on.

    你提供人們展示他們發生什麼事情的空間。

  • So what about body language? How important is body language when you're trying to read somebody?

    肢體語言呢?當你試圖閱讀某人時,身體語言有多重要?

  • Okay, so body language is key.

    肢體語言是重點。

  • So if we're looking at somebody, let's say, we're talking to someone and they're fidgeting a lot, you have to ask yourself, "Well, why are they doing that? Are they nervous? Are they uncomfortable?"

    所以,如果我們在看著某人,比如說,我們正在和某人交談,而他們一直在煩躁不安,你得問自己:「他們為什麼這樣做?他們是緊張嗎?他們感到不舒服嗎?」

  • A grooming. Grooming is I'm playing with my hair; men, I'm playing with my beard or even like ironing out my clothes with my hands.

    整理的動作。整理就是玩弄頭髮;男性的話就是在玩弄鬍子,甚至用手整理衣服。

  • Illustrators, which I love. I'm Greek, I can't help it, I talk like this. - I do too.

    愛搭配手勢的,我喜歡這個。我是希臘人,我忍不住,我就是這樣說話。- 我也是。

  • But if I'm lying, you might see me do this.

    但如果我說謊,你可能會看到我做這樣的動作。

  • Because I'm so overwhelmed with trying to lie and talk at the same time, my body kind of shuts down.

    因為我試圖同時說謊和說話,我感到非常不知所措,我的身體有點停擺。

  • And then eye movement. So this is tricky.

    眼睛動作也很重要。這有點棘手。

  • People may break eye contact if they're lying to you. We don't like to look at people and lie.

    人們如果對你說謊,可能會打破眼神接觸。我們不喜歡看著人說謊。

  • However, some people are very good at it. That's why you learn people's baseline.

    然而,有些人非常擅長。這就是你學習人們的基準的原因。

  • These are good tips.

    這些都是很棒的小撇步。

  • I love "deer in headlights" What is it?

    我喜歡「嚇傻了」那個表情。那會是怎樣?

  • Oh, "deer in headlights." You ask me a question and let's say I'm in shock or not sure, I willthey call it sanpaku, the three whites of the eyes. You'll see the three whites almost like eyes pop out.

    哦,「嚇傻了」。如果你問我一個問題,假設我感到震驚或不確定,我會——他們稱之為三白,眼睛的三白會突出來,你會看到幾乎像眼睛一樣突出的三白。

  • And so again, when someone does that, why they just do that when I ask them that question?

    所以,當有人這樣做時,當我問他們那個問題時,為什麼他們會這樣做呢?

  • What about the exasperation one?

    那麼,關於感到「惱怒」的那個呢?

  • This is the "Oh God".

    這是「噢,天啊」的表情。

  • So if you're asking somebody a question, maybe you're doing really good journalism and asking somebody a question they don't want to answer, you may see them do this.

    所以如果你問某人一個問題,也許你正在進行很好的新聞採訪,問某人一個他們不想回答的問題,你可能會看到他們這樣做。

  • The "I need some help. I need divine intervention."

    這是「我需要幫助。我需要神助」的表情。

  • And then shock and deer in headlights [are] kind of the same thing.

    「震驚」和「嚇傻了」有點相似。

  • It's just that autonomic nervous system kicking in. We're caught in either a lie or really stressed out and again, you always have to say why did that just happen?

    它就是自主神經系統的作用。我們被抓到說謊或者真的壓力很大,而且,你總是要問,為什麼剛才會發生這種情況?

  • You maintain there's no one way to spot a liar but there are some verbal cues that might help you with one of those.

    你堅持認為沒有一種方法可以百分之百辨別說謊者,但有一些口頭提示可能會幫助你辨別其中之一。

  • Okay, yes, because we're all so different, everybody's going to do different things.

    是的,因為我們都是如此不同,每個人會做不同的事情。

  • But spotting a lie: changing verb tenses.

    但發現謊言的撇步:改變動詞時態時。

  • So if I say to you, "What did you do last night?" You would say, "I went to the store." Right?

    也許能幫到你。

  • But if you're making the lie up as you're talking, you could switch verb tenses and go into the present and say, " I go to the store."

    所以如果我問你:「昨晚你做了什麼?」你會說:「我去了商店。」對吧?

  • Because you're creating the lie in that moment, so you go from past to present.

    但如果你正在說謊時即興編造,你可能會改變動詞時態,用現在式說:「我去商店。」

  • Insulting your intelligence, my favorite.

    「侮辱你的智商」,我最喜歡的。

  • "That's a stupid question!" "I can't believe you just asked me that!" "Why did you this?"

    「那是一個愚蠢的問題!」、「我無法相信你剛剛問了我這個!」、「你為什麼這樣做?」

  • This is somebody trying to shut you down by making you feel stupid, so you have to be aware of that.

    這是有人試圖讓你覺得愚蠢而試圖讓你閉嘴,所以你必須注意這一點。

  • Answering a question with a question.

    「用問題回答問題」。

  • "Who, me? Where did I go last night?" right? - My kids do that.

    「誰,我?昨晚我去哪兒了?」對吧? - 我的孩子就會這樣。

  • There you go. That's they're stalling tactic as they're trying to figure out what do I say to Dad.

    就是這樣。 那是他們拖延戰術,因為他們試圖弄清楚我該對爸爸說什麼。

  • And then speaking the third person.

    然後是「第三人稱」。

  • "Evy would never do that," "Evy is an honest person," "Evy is this."

    「Evy永遠不會那樣做」,「Evy是一個誠實的人」,「Evy就是這樣」。

  • So I'm putting distance between present Evy and that Evy all the way over there.

    所以我在現在的 Evy 和之前的那個 Evy 之間保持了距離。

  • So if you can spot a lie, can you also spot a truth?

    那麼,如果你能辨別謊言,你也能分辨真相嗎?

  • Yes, actually it's easier to spot truth and the science actually proves this.

    是的,發現真相鋼容易,科學也證明了這一點。

  • So how do know if somebody's telling you the truth?

    那麼如何知道某人是否告訴你實話呢?

  • First, spontaneous corrections.

    首先是「自發性的更正」。

  • If I'm telling you a story and as I'm telling you that story, I correct myself.

    如果我跟你講一個故事,當我講這個故事的時候,我糾正自己。

  • "You know when I was driving I saw Mom and then I talked to Dad. Oh, no, no, no, wait, I talked to Dad and then Mom."

    「你知道,當我開車的時候,我看到了媽媽,然後我和爸爸說話了。哦,不,不,不,等等,我和爸爸說話,然後是媽媽。」

  • That's a spontaneous correction. That's truthful.

    這是一種自發性的更正。 這是實話。

  • Also quotations.

    還有「引用」。

  • "Do you know what he said to me? He said quote, 'I'm going to do this to you.' end quote."

    「你知道他對我說什麼嗎?他說:『我要對你這樣做。』」

  • That's a truthful indicator when people put things in quotes.

    當人們在講話時使用引號時,這是一個在講實話的指標。

  • And complications. If I'm telling you a story, "You know this morning I got in the Uber, I was coming in, my heel broke as I was going down the stairs."

    和「複雜化」。 如果我告訴你一個故事:「你知道今天早上我坐了優步,我進來的時候,下樓梯時我的鞋跟斷了。」

  • If I'm introducing a complication like that that really kind of doesn't make sense, it's probably truthful because I'm telling you a story.

    如果我引入這樣一個確實沒有意義的複雜的情境,那麼它可能是真實的,因為我正在告訴你一個故事。

  • And then feelings, my favorite, especially with kids.

    然後是「感情」,我最喜歡的,尤其是對孩子。

  • We access our feelings usually after we're done telling you a story.

    我們通常在跟你講完一個故事後才會了解我們的感受。

  • I'll walk you through what happened and then afterward, most people will kind of tell you, "You know, I felt really bad about that."

    我會帶你了解發生的事情,然後,大多數人會告訴你,「你知道,我對此感到非常難過。」

  • I just learned a lot really. There you go.

    我真的學到了很多。

  • Practice on your family members.- I know. I want to watch that all. I'm going to go home and just judge my family.

    對你的家人練習。-我知道。 我要把書看完。 我要回家評判我的家人。

  • So Evy, thank you so much.

    Evy,非常謝謝你。

  • How is that different from usual?

    這跟你平常有何不同?

  • "Becoming Bulletproof: Life Lessons From A Secret Service Agent" it is out today.

    《Becoming Bulletproof: Life Lessons From A Secret Service Agent》今天出版。

In this morning's Tune-up Tuesday, we're going to learn about reading people, something our next guest is an expert in.

在今天的「Tune-up Tuesday」中,我們將學習如何閱人,這是我們下一位嘉賓的專長。

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