You know, it's weird to actually think about it and just, like, put it all together like that.

你知道，真正想一想，就像這樣把一切都放在一起，感覺很奇怪。

I mean, thinking back on it now, what the heck was I thinking?!

現在回想起來，我到底在想什麼？

I, I mean, I was 18, I worked a job at a call center to save up money to buy my own plane ticket and I-

我，我的意思是，我18歲， 我在呼叫中心工作 攢錢買我自己的機票，我 -

it jus- it just worked out somehow.

就這樣莫名其妙地解決了。

Now don't get me wrong here. It wasn't just rainbows and butterflies the whole time.

別誤會我的意思。並不是一直都是彩虹和蝴蝶。

Oh no no. I got some stories to tell you, but those are for a later time.

哦，不，不。我有些故事要告訴你，但那是以後的事了。

Right now, I want to focus on the big question that everybody asked me and you're probably wondering right now:

現在，我想重點談談大家問我的那個大問題，你們現在可能也在想這個問題：

Are you kidding? It's awesome!

開什麼玩笑？太棒了

They give you a free Gundam and everything!

他們會免費贈送高達和其他東西！

No, but really, it's actually pretty...

沒有，但真的，它實際上是相當......

I guess? I mean, it's hard for me to really quantify

我猜？我的意思是，我很難真正量化

what would be "weird" or different for you, because I'm so used to it at this point, whenever I go back to the US,

對你來說有什麼 "奇怪 "或不同之處，因為我現在已經習慣了，每次回美國都是這樣、

I'm always like...

我總是喜歡...

"This place is weird.

"這地方真奇怪。

Why do you need 50 flavors of Pringles?"

你為什麼需要50種口味的品客？"

But there are some things that do stand out in my mind about life in Japan as just, like...

但是，在我的腦海中，日本生活中的一些事情確實讓人印象深刻，比如......

Although, to be fair, it is hard to know if these are Japan things or just...

雖然，公平地說，很難知道這些是日本的東西，還是隻是...

"I'm a visible minority" thing, but whatever.

"我是一個明顯的少數群體"，但不管怎樣。

One thing that you'll get in Japan is there's always this sense that you're some kind of celebrity.

在日本，你會有一種感覺，總覺得自己是個名人。

Now don't get me wrong, when I say celebrity...

別誤會我的意思，當我說名人...

I mean it in like a:

我是說

kind of way.

那種方式。

Like when you see an actor or a YouTuber out in the wild

就像你在野外看到演員或優酷用戶一樣

and you want to take a picture or just say hi,

你想拍照或打個招呼、

but like, you don't actually want to be friends with them or anything, you know. And if you do become friends,

但實際上，你並不想和他們成為朋友或什麼的，你知道的。如果你們真的成為朋友

it's really just so you can brag to your other real friends that now you have a famous friend.

這其實只是為了讓你向其他真正的朋友炫耀，你現在有了一個有名的朋友。

"Isn't that SOOO cool, guys?!

"是不是太酷了，夥計們？

Pff, you guys are losers."

啐，你們這群廢物。"

Like, people want to be seen near you or with you,

比如，人們希望看到你在附近或和你在一起、

but: "Hey, whoa, it's not like we're the same human here, okay? You stay over there,

但是"嘿，哇，我們又不是一個人，好嗎？你待在那邊

we're gonna stay over here, but-but-but can I tell my friends that we're friends?"

"我們就呆在這裡，但是，但是，但是 我可以告訴我的朋友們我們是朋友嗎？"

That's what I mean when I say:

我說的就是這個意思：

A lot of people want to get your attention,

很多人都想引起你的注意、

but it's never really clear for what purpose... like

但始終不清楚是為了什麼目的......比如

I'll be taking the train, minding my own business,

我會坐火車，管好自己的事、

you know, just thinking about the big life questions like:

你知道，只是在思考人生的大問題，比如：

"If Buzz Lightyear didn't believe he was a toy,

"如果巴斯光年不相信自己是個玩具、

how come he acted like one when Andy came into the room?" Yeah, you know, stuff like that?

"為什麼安迪進房間的時候 他表現得像一個人？"是啊，你知道，類似的東西？

I'll be standing there and when someone notices me, usually a mom with her small kid or whatever,

我會站在那裡，當有人注意到我時，通常是一個帶著小孩的媽媽或其他什麼人、

she'll just suddenly start speaking English to her kids...

她會突然開始跟孩子們說英語......

just like out of nowhere!

就像憑空出現一樣！

Whenever this happens, I'm always really confused as to how they imagine this scenario going.

每當這種情況發生時，我總是非常困惑，不知道他們是如何想象這種情景的。

Like, I'm gonna hear her saying the only two English words she knows

比如，我會聽到她說她僅會的兩個英語單詞

and I'll run to her and be like:

我會跑到她面前說：

*gasp*

*gasp*

"You can speak English? Ah, you've passed Rumplestiltskin's test!

"你會說英語？啊，你通過了朗普斯金的測試！

Here's a bag of gold, a potion of youth and a slide whistle.

這裡有一袋黃金、一瓶青春藥水和一個滑哨。

*slide whistle SFX*

*slide whistle SFX*

Like, what do you think I'm gonna do just because I heard you say:

就因為我聽你說了一句話 你覺得我會怎麼做？

"Okay, let's go!"

"好了，我們走吧！"

to your five-year-old kid?! And like, you're not even talking to me?!

和你五歲的孩子說話？你都不跟我說話？

Which would be a totally different thing,

這完全是兩碼事、

but you're just talking, like, in general??

但你只是泛泛而談？

I mean, that's like if you saw, like, an Olympic gymnast on the train

我的意思是，這就像你在火車上看到奧林匹克體操運動員一樣

and then you just started randomly doing cartwheels up and down the aisle like:

然後你就開始在走道上來回翻筋斗

"Look at me!"

"看著我！"

"WHAAA!"

"哇！"

Now, Japanese people in general, and there's exceptions,

現在，日本人普遍都是這樣，但也有例外、

but I mean, more often than not, they have this very strange relationship with English.

但我的意思是，很多時候，他們與英語的關係非常奇怪。

They know they need it for like business and, like, travel and whatever, but just in general, most people hate it.

他們知道自己需要用它來出差、旅行什麼的，但總的來說，大多數人都討厭它。

But being a visible foreigner, people just kind of see you as, like, a walking free English lesson.

但作為一個顯而易見的外國人，人們會把你當成一個行走的免費英語課程。

And don't get me wrong; I don't mean to sound like:

別誤會我的意思，我並不想說得像......"：

Ugh...

唉...

But when people look at you like:

但當人們這樣看著你

"What can I gain from this person?", it gets a little off-putting after a while, like

"我能從這個人身上得到什麼好處？"，時間久了就會讓人有點反感，比如

I'll be in a public restroom,

我會在公共廁所裡、

you know, like in a train station or something, right?

你知道，就像在火車站什麼的，對嗎？

And I'm standing at the urinal just doing my thing.

我就站在小便池邊做我的事。

Now, for those of you who don't know, there's kind of an unspoken rule about using urinals.

現在，對於那些不知道的人來說，使用小便池有一種潛規則。

If there's no barrier between them, you're supposed to use

如果它們之間沒有障礙物，就應該使用

every other one, "standing five feet apart cuz we're not gay"!

每一個人，"站在五英尺開外，因為我們不是同志"！

So I'll be in there and some usually, like, middle-aged businessman, of all the possible demographics it could be,

所以，我會在那裡和一些通常是中年商人之類的人在一起、

he'll just walk right up and stand next to me, which, I mean, you're already breaking one of the cardinal rules

他就會走過來站在我旁邊，我的意思是，你已經違反了一條最基本的規則

of being a dude, so I'm already on edge. And then he'll just look at me and be like:

所以我已經很緊張了然後他會看著我，說：

"Hello, my name is Takayuki" (or whatever his name is).

"你好，我叫高行（Takayuki）"（不管他叫什麼名字）。

And now I'm doubly annoyed because, first of all,

現在我倍感惱火，因為首先

you've invaded the sacred circle. And second,

你已經侵入了神聖的圈子。其次

why would I talk to you at a urinal?!

我為什麼要在小便池邊跟你說話？

And let's ignore the whole urinal thing and the conversation with a stranger thing...

我們暫且不提小便池的事和與陌生人交談的事......

What possible logic would tell you that a public restroom is a great place to practice your English?

什麼邏輯會告訴你公共廁所是練習英語的好地方？

In what universe would this be seen as an okay thing to do?

在哪個世界裡，這樣做會被視為一件好事？

When you're a foreigner in Japan, and really maybe anywhere,

當你是在日本的外國人時，或許在任何地方都是如此、

the rules of common decency and courtesy just kind of don't apply to you, I guess?

我想，禮儀和禮貌的規則對你並不適用吧？

I mean, people do and say things to you that they would never dream of doing or saying to anyone else.

我的意思是，人們對你做的和說的事情，是他們做夢都不敢想的。

Like, for example, right in the middle of editing this video, something happened.

比如，就在剪輯這段視頻的過程中，發生了一些事情。

So we were out walking our dog Charlie, and while we were crossing the street, some guy in a truck just yelled out:

我們出去遛狗查理，在過馬路的時候，一個開卡車的傢伙大喊了一聲：

"Whoo!! Oh daddy!!",

"喔！哦，爸爸！"、

waved at me, and then just drove off!

他向我揮揮手，然後就開車走了！

Now, this would pretty much never happen between Japanese people,

現在，日本人之間基本不會發生這種事、

but when you're a foreigner, you're just fair game, I guess.

但如果你是外國人，我想你就是公平競爭的對象。

Although, like I said, this kind of thing probably happens to anyone anywhere who is, or even just looks,

不過，就像我說的，這種事情可能發生在任何地方的任何人身上，只要他是，甚至只是看起來是、

you know, a little different. Still weird, though.

你知道，有點不同。不過還是很奇怪。

Although, to be fair, It's not like it happens every day.

不過，公平地說，這種事也不是每天都會發生。

But let's be honest. Once is more than enough, and after 10+ years, it all just kind of bleeds together into one

但說實話。一次已經綽綽有餘，10 多年後，一切都會融為一體

looooooong...

looooooong...

nighmare.

噩夢

Now, compared to a lot of other countries, Japan doesn't have a particularly large foreign population,

現在，與許多其他國家相比，日本的外國人口並不是特別多、

especially ones who are non-Asian. So the result is that a lot of Japanese people will believe pretty much anything they hear about

尤其是非亞洲人。是以，結果是很多日本人聽到任何關於 "亞洲人 "的消息都會深信不疑。

what foreigners do, or whatever.

外國人做什麼，或者其他什麼。

Like, every Japanese person, I guess, just has the same mental list of things that foreigners can't do, can't eat and, gosh darn, just can't understand.

我想，每個日本人都有一份相同的心理清單，列出了外國人不能做、不能吃，以及無法理解的事情。

I mean, I still get people sometimes who are, or at least act like they are, just

我的意思是，有時我還是會遇到一些人，他們是，或者至少表現得像，只是

completely blown away when I use chopsticks.

當我使用筷子時，我完全被震撼了。

Like, I could shoot lasers out of my eyes, and they'd just be like...

比如，我可以從眼睛裡射出脈衝光，他們就會覺得...

But when I pick up some sushi or whatever with chopsticks, they're just like:

但當我用筷子夾起壽司或其他什麼東西時，他們就會很高興：

"WHAAAA? You can use chopsticks?!

"WHAAAA？你會用筷子？

Or like, how if you say one word of Japanese with any level of competency,

或者說，如果你能熟練地說一個日語單詞、

some people act like it's just the Second Coming of Jesus.

有些人覺得這只是耶穌的再來。

Like, someone will come up and say: "Konnichiwa"

比如，有人會走過來說"康尼一瓦"

and I'll just kind of look at them weird and be like: "Konnichiwa", and they'll just:

我就會奇怪地看著他們，然後說："Konnichiwa"，然後他們就：

"Whoa whoa whoa, whaaaaaa?!

"哇哇哇，哇哇哇？

Your Japanese is so goooooood!"

你的日語太棒了！"

But don't get me wrong.

但不要誤解我的意思。

I actually really like living in Japan. Like I said earlier, whenever I go back to visit my parents or whatever, it just feels so...

事實上，我真的很喜歡住在日本。就像我之前說的，每當我回去看望父母或其他什麼的時候，我都會覺得...

"These people deep-fry butter, and they think sushi is weird?!"

"這些人油炸黃油，還覺得壽司很奇怪？"

There are a lot of good things about Japan, like affordable universal health care, lowest crime rate, like, anywhere, and singing, dancing toilets.

日本有很多優點，比如負擔得起的全民醫療保健、最低的犯罪率（比如任何地方），以及會唱歌跳舞的廁所。

I mean,

我是說

Hey, everybody! Thank you so much for watching this video. Now, like I said,

大家好非常感謝大家觀看本視頻。就像我說的

this type of stuff doesn't really happen like every single day, if you really zoom out and kind of look at it,

這種事情並不是每天都會發生，如果你真的把它放大來看的話、

it's actually not that common.

其實這並不常見。

But after, you know, 10-11 years, it all kind of adds up after a while,

但過了 10-11 年之後，所有這些都會慢慢累積起來、

and even though I'm telling all these kind of, you know, extreme examples for the sake of comedy,

儘管我說的這些，你知道，都是為了喜劇效果而舉出的極端例子、

I mean, in the end, I do like being in Japan, I like living in Japan, I like the way things are done.

我的意思是，歸根結底，我喜歡在日本，喜歡在日本生活，喜歡日本的生活方式。

Yeah, it's just one of those things, like, it fits with me,

是的，這只是其中的一件事，就像，它適合我、

and you know, like I mentioned, like, I don't know what I was thinking.

你知道，就像我說的，我不知道我在想什麼。

I was 18 years old and I'm like: "I'm gonna go to Japan and stay there for a year and just kind of

我當時18歲，我想，"我要去日本待上一年" "就這樣

have some cool stories, I guess". And then suddenly, you know, 10-11 years went by, and here I am.

我想，"我有一些很酷的故事"。然後突然間，你知道，10-11 年過去了，我就在這裡了。

So you never know where your life's gonna go, right?

所以你永遠不知道你的人生會走向何方，對嗎？

But I guess the main kind of takeaway from this is if you're young or you're a teenager,

但我想，如果你還年輕，或者你是個青少年，你就會從中得到一些啟發、

maybe, you know, whatever, and you're like, you want to go out and do something, you want a

也許，你知道，不管怎樣，你想出去做點什麼，你想要一個

change of pace, you want to kind of change your environment, whatever, like, go do it, you know?

改變節奏，你想改變你的環境，不管怎樣，去做吧，你知道嗎？

I mean, work, save up the money, make a plan, and just go do it.

我的意思是，工作、攢錢、制定計劃，然後去做。

I did it and it worked out for me. Now, I might be an extreme example. I might be lucky,

我做到了，而且很成功。現在，我可能是一個極端的例子。我可能很幸運、

I might be a lot of things,

我可能是很多東西、

but I mean, I took a risk and it worked, you know? And if it had failed,

但我的意思是，我冒了險，而且成功了，你知道嗎？如果失敗了

I would have tried something else anyway.

無論如何，我都會嘗試其他方法。

So if there's one kind of takeaway that you can get from this, it's, you know, just do what you want to do and just

所以，如果說你能從中得到什麼啟示，那就是，你知道，做你想做的事，只需

figure it out along the way, I guess. Kind of like YouTube. Anyway, thanks for watching,

我想，你可以自己摸索出來。有點像 YouTube。總之，感謝觀看、

don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends and follow me on Twitter and all that stuff

別忘了訂閱，與朋友分享，並在 Twitter 上關注我。

and I'll see you all next time.

下次再見。