While some of us might think that self-love is a narcissistic and self-centered pursuit that couldn't be further from the truth.

雖然我們中的一些人可能認為自愛是一種自戀和自我中心的追求，但事實並非如此。

Researchers Eric Fields and Gina R. Kuperberg from the Department of Psychology at Tufts University explain that positively biased self-views are argued to be a key component of healthy psychological functioning, influencing self-esteem, motivation and determination.

塔夫茨大學心理學系的研究人員埃里克·菲爾茲和吉娜·R·庫珀伯格解釋說，積極偏見的自我觀被認為是健康心理功能的關鍵組成部分，影響自尊、動機和決心。

Indeed, a lack of self-positive bias or even a self-negativity bias may contribute to mood and anxiety disorder.

事實上，缺乏自我正面偏見甚至自我負面偏見可能會導致情緒和焦慮障礙。

So if self-love seems frivolous to you, here are a few practical ways to learn to love yourself.

所以如果自愛對你來說顯得輕浮，這裡有幾種學會愛自己的實用方法。

Here are a few tips to help you on your way.

以下是士，希望對您有所幫助。

Know yourself.

瞭解自己。

Do you ever wonder how some people seem to just be so comfortable with themselves and know themselves inside out?

你有沒有想過，為什麼有些人看起來對自己如此自在，對自己瞭如指掌？

Does your brain struggle with answering when you hear the dreaded?

當你聽到可怕的聲音時，你的大腦是否會難以回答？

So tell me about yourself.

說說你自己吧。

A lot of us have been there and a fun solution actually exists for those moments.

我們很多人都經歷過這種情況，對於那些時刻，實際上有一個有趣的解決方案。

Take a piece of paper or your notes app and put your name on top, divide the page into four parts, label these quadrants as likes, dislikes, weaknesses and strengths.

拿一張紙或筆記軟件，在上面寫上你的名字，把頁面分成四個部分，分別標上喜歡、不喜歡、缺點和優點。

Now start filling in the spaces under those quadrants.

現在開始填寫這些象限下的空格。

You don't have to do them in order just go with the flow.

你不必按順序寫，只要順其自然就好。

It definitely helps to be alone and allocate time for this exercise, however long you feel comfortable

獨自一人進行這個練習，並安排自己感到舒適的時間，絕對是有幫助的。

Also, save these pages because there will be many.

同時，留下這些紙張，因為會有很多。

The purpose of this activity is to essentially get to know all of you, flaws and all, and to accept and embrace everything.

這個活動的目的基本上是要了解你的一切，包括缺點，並接受和擁抱一切。

Think of it as dating yourself.

就當是和自己約會吧。

You hang out with yourself, giving you all of your attention and really engaging with who you are.

你和自己相處，將所有的注意力都給自己，真正地與自己相互交流。

You will over time and with consistent practice, truly get to know who you are and what you're capable of.

隨著時間的推移和堅持不懈的練習，你會真正瞭解自己是誰以及自己的能力。

An article by Certified Applied Positive Psychology coach, Kelly Miller, said that some of the benefits of knowing yourself are improved self-control and self-regulation, increased creative achievement and high self-esteem and pride.

Kelly Miller，一位認證的應用正向心理學教練，在一篇文章中指出，了解自己的一些好處包括改善自我控制和自我調節能力，增加創造性成就以及提高自尊和自豪感。

So you stand to gain so much from knowing who you are.

因此，了解自己可以獲得很多收益。

Negative self talk.

負面自我對話。

Compassion researcher Dr. Kristen Neff asks, "What type of language do you use with yourself when you notice a flaw or a mistake made?"

慈悲心研究者克里斯汀·内夫博士問道：「當你注意到自己的缺點或錯誤時，你會使用什麼樣的語言？」

Do you insult yourself? Or do you take a more kind and understanding tone?

你會侮辱自己嗎？還是採取更親切、更善解人意的語氣？

If you are highly self critical, how does that make you feel inside?

如果你有很強的自我批評能力，那你的內心會有什麼感受呢？

Paying attention to how you internally talk to yourself is the most important step in learning how to cultivate self love.

關注你內心是如何對自己說話的，這是學習如何培養自愛的最重要的一步。

Do you find that your inner critic is more ruthless than others?

你是否發現自己內心的責備比別人更無情？

Does that inner voice sound like a recording, repeating, hurtful and discouraging things, constantly feeding you fear?

內在的聲音是否聽起來像是一段錄音，重複播放著傷人且令人沮喪的事情，不斷灌輸你恐懼？

Do you tend to beat yourself up with cruel self-talk?

你是否經常用殘酷的自言自語來打擊自己？

Do you not allow yourself to do anything until it's perfect or close enough for you and still judge yourself for not being good enough?

你是否不允許自己做任何事情，直到它對你來說足夠完美或接近完美為止，並且還在評判自己不夠好？

This behavior is harmful to you as it affects your sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

這種行為對你有害，因為它會影響你的自我價值感和自尊心。

As humans, we struggle with some form of doubt every now and then.

作為人類，我們時不時會與某種形式的懷疑作鬥爭。

However, as we enter into a new chapter of being loving to ourselves, the negative self-talk has to go rituals.

然而，當我們進入愛自己的新篇章時，負面的自我對話就必須消失。

Do you start your day on the wrong foot?

你是不是一開始就把一天搞砸了？

Or maybe you feel disconnected from yourself.

或者，你覺得與自己脫節。

Creating a ritual, be it daily or weekly can help ease these feelings.

建立一個儀式，無論是每天還是每週一次，都可以幫助緩解這些情緒。

Rituals are meaningful practices with a deep sense of purpose.

儀式是有意義的實踐，具有深刻的目的性。

As opposed to a habit, rituals require you to be a bit more mindful and focused.

與習慣相比，儀式需要你更加用心和專注。

Take time out of your busy day for self-care rituals, whether it's physical activity, meditating, journaling or praying.

在繁忙的一天中抽出時間進行自我保健儀式，無論是進行身體活動、冥想、寫日記還是祈禱。

Clinical psychologist Dr. Deborah Koshaba says the benefits of creating these personal rituals are you'll love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs.

臨床心理學家德博拉·科沙巴博士表示，建立這些個人儀式的好處是當你更好地照顧自己的基本需求時，你會更愛自己。

People high in self love, nourish themselves daily through healthy activities like good nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

那些自愛的人每天通過健康的活動來滋養自己，比如良好的營養、運動、充足的睡眠、親密關係和健康的社交互動。

Compassionate.

同情心。

By not giving yourself any grace for being flawed or human, you stunt your own growth and withhold love from yourself.

如果不給自己任何寬容，不允許自己有缺點或是人性的一面，你會限制自己的成長，也會自我否定愛自己。

Self-compassion is similar to showing compassion to other people.

自我同情與向他人表達同情是相似的。

It's a practice of noticing that you are suffering and then offering yourself understanding and kindness.

這是一種注意到自己正在受苦，然後給予自己理解和善意的做法。

Kristen Neff Ph.D. stated in her book, "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself," that you may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy.

克里斯汀·內夫博士在她的書《自我同情：對自己善良的力量》中指出，你可以試著改變自己，讓自己變得更健康和快樂。

But this is done because you care about yourself, not because you're worthless or unacceptable as you are.

但這是因為你關心自己，而不是因為你覺得自己毫無價值或不被接受。

A suggestion here is to practice embracing whatever emotion you feel instead of repressing it or letting it completely overwhelm you.

有個建議是練習接納你所感受到的任何情緒，而不是壓抑它或讓它完全壓倒你。

You acknowledge it as it is and also how you can be a latter.

你承認它的存在，同時也意識到你可以如何成為一個更好的自己。

Say you're feeling sad, you acknowledge that emotion is normal, that's currently how you're feeling and you can settle into it and it can eventually pass.

假設你感到悲傷，你承認這種情緒是正常的，目前你就是這樣感受的，你可以接受這種情緒，並且它最終會過去。

Love language.

愛的語言。

Author Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages" is about the ways that people show and receive love.

加里·查普曼的書《五種愛的語言》是關於人們表達和接受愛的方式。

They are words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch and quality time.

它們包括肯定的言語、禮物、服務行為、身體接觸和共度時光。

These love languages can also be applied to the self in many different ways, depending on the love language that you resonate with.

這些愛的語言也可以應用於自我之中，方式有很多，具體取決於你與哪種愛的語言共鳴。

Licensed clinical counselor, Joyce Marter, expressed a sentiment on how to use this system for your own personal well-being.

註冊臨床輔導員喬伊斯·馬特提出了一種關於如何利用這個系統維護個人健康的觀點。

Imagine how you treat yourself on a daily basis as if you were another person in a relationship with you.

想像你每天對待自己的方式，就好像你是與自己建立關係的另一個人一樣。

By discovering your self-love language you can incorporate daily self-love practices that are specially catered to you and make you feel better.

通過發現你的自我愛語言，你可以納入每天專門為你量身定制的自我愛實踐，讓你感覺更好。

If you have receiving gifts as your love language, you can, for example, buy the things you want that bring positivity into your life or investing in your interests or bucket list experiences.

如果你的愛語言是接受禮物，你可以，例如，購買你想要的東西，帶來生活中的積極性，或者投資於你的興趣或心願清單中的經歷。

The purpose of this is to learn to become comfortable in your own presence.

這個目的是學會在自己的陪伴中感到舒適。

Self-reflection.

自我反省。

We can be extremely hard on ourselves, especially if it's in the aftermath of a setback.

我們對自己可能非常嚴厲，特別是在挫折之後。

Sometimes things don't go according to plans, we punish ourselves for mistakes when instead, we could learn from them.

有時，事情並沒有按照計劃進行，我們會因為錯誤而懲罰自己，但我們可以從錯誤中吸取教訓，而不是自責，你可以把這些事件作為個人成長的機會。

Instead of self-blame, you can use these incidents as an opportunity for personal growth.

與其自責，你可以將這些事件視為個人成長的機會。

Some examples of self-reflection can take the form of a weekly review, a journaling session, a regular meeting with a trusted friend to reflect on your recent experiences and challenges or in therapy.

一些自我反省的例子包括每周回顧、寫日記、定期與信任的朋友會面，一起反思最近的經歷和挑戰，或者在治療中進行反思。

Remember, there are no failures if you have grown from your mistakes.

記住，如果你從你的錯誤中成長了，就不存在失敗。

There are only lessons learned.

只有吸取的教訓。

The journey to true self-compassion and love is a long one, but you shouldn't let that discourage you.

通往真正的自我同情和愛的旅程是漫長的，但你不應該讓這一點使你氣餒。

Instead, think of all the versions of yourself you'll get to meet and the experiences you'll have as you devote yourself to you.

相反，想想你將會遇到的所有版本的自己，以及你將會擁有的經歷，當你致力於成為更好的自己時。

As you can see, just a few changes can nurture more self-love.

正如你所看到的，只需做出一些小改變就可以培養更多的自我愛。

If you choose just one or two of these self love actions to work on, you'll begin to accept and love yourself more.

如果你選擇其中一兩個自我愛的行動來努力，你將開始更多地接受和愛自己。

If you've gotten this far, we'd like to thank you for taking the time to watch this to the end.

如果你已經看到這裡，我們想感謝你花時間看到最後。

We hope that you've enjoyed it and that you feel a bit more confident about implementing more self loving rituals into your life.

我們希望你喜歡這個影片，並且希望你對於將更多的自我愛儀式融入你的生活感到更有信心。

And remember you matter.

記住，你很重要。