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  • In the mountains, the entire Tribe of Rushing Water is being bullied by maybe three or four teenagers.

  • Meanwhile, in real life, Leafpool takes Jaypaw to the beach.

  • He's trying to make ghosts pay attention to him.

  • While he's distracted, Berrypaw and the twins are made warriors.

  • Lionpaw is unsettled by his mentor because he says

  • extremely nice things in the most disinterested way possible.

  • "Great job, Lionpaw," says Ashfur, sharpening his knife.

  • But that doesn't matter anymore anyways, because Lionpaw's new mentor

  • is the evil ghosts of his dead relatives.

  • And he was feeling pretty enthusiastic about this too until he overhears Longtail talking about

  • how Tigerstar used to leave the toilet seat up.

  • "Ah, but he's dead," thinks Lionpaw.

  • "He can't leave the seat up now!"

  • Hollypaw hates romance and hates babies. She tries to tell her mother that

  • mates and kits are both total garbage & that they'll squash her ambitions

  • but Squirrelflight just laughs at her and tells her that she'll change her mind.

  • Our lovely author, Erin Hunter

  • Has already forgotten that she intended to give Brightheart a new apprentice

  • and will now never remember.

  • Firestar assigns mentors to Foxpaw and Icepaw,

  • based on what color they are and calls it a day.

  • Hollypaw goes out in the rain and ends up taking shelter in Jaypaw's stick hole.

  • Hollypaw and Jaypaw are really obsessed with the idea that there were

  • cats living in the lake territory before them.

  • Unfortunately... there is no such thing as a cat archaeologist.

  • Brook teaches all the apprentices about tribe culture,

  • and they don't seem to understand that in the clans that they only have the illusion of choice.

  • Hollypaw decides that she was born in the wrong decade

  • Jaypaw decides that he was born in the wrong century

  • Jay tries to dream about ancient cats and somehow Rock actually shows up! The absolute madman.

  • "Go to the mountains, hehe!!" Says Rock.

  • Lionpaw seemingly has no ambitions beyond being better than Berrynose.

  • He receives a new prophecy recap from Stormfur before mastering a new move way too fast,

  • causing Ashfur to get very, very angry.

  • "You're supposed to take time to learn these things," says Ashfur.

  • "Stop disregarding CANON."

  • He attacks Lionpaw and they beat each other up until Brackenfur stops them.

  • "Wowwww, you're an excellent fighter," says Ashfur. "Great job Lionpaw."

  • "WOW! my mentor is so supportive!" responds Lionpaw.

  • Hollypaw tries to tell her dad that there is something wrong with Ashfur, but he laughs it off.

  • "Ashfur has never done anything wrong in his life!"

  • Honeypaw is obsessed with Berrynose she cannot about anything else.

  • Lionpaw is obsessed with Berrynose. He cannot think about anything else.

  • While on patrol, several cats from the Tribe of Endless Hunting break into Thunderclan.

  • Jaypaw makes blind eye contact with Brook by accident and is shoved into her flashback.

  • "What should we do about the guys looking in our window every night Stormfur?" Asks Stoneteller.

  • "Uhhhhh, beat them up?"

  • The Tribe cats get beat up instead and Brook and Stormfur are put into the naughty kitty timeout.

  • Jayfeather snaps out of it and Talon tells everyone about how much the tribe hates when children are on their lawn so they need Stormfur back.

  • "We don't care," says Stormfur. "I mean, I care," adds Brook.

  • Talon tries to convince them by saying everything is better now that the tribe wants something from them,

  • and that works for some reason.

  • The three angry children all want to come along,

  • and Leafpool excuses their involvement by opening up that "Apprentices used to travel to the Moonstone" wound.

  • Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw go to Windclan and Shadowclan respectively to fetch the rest of the surviving New Prophecy.

  • In Shadowclan, Lionpaw meets Tawnypelt's new kits. He can't tell what color they are because it's dark and Lionpaw's stupid.

  • Tawnypelt just agrees to come with them because she only had, like, 2 sentences of dialogue last arc.

  • Meanwhile, in Windclan, Breezepaw gets forced to go along as punishment for general delinquency.

  • Jaypaw briefly considers poisoning Breezepaw, but instead, he makes the huge mistake of not doing that.

  • Leafpool is acting weird about Crowfeather being in camp.

  • Nobody cares!!

  • They take off and while traveling all the cats shuffle around and respond to each other like RPG party members halfway through the game.

  • "Do you know how to catch squirrels in the mountains, son?"

  • "Kits sure are a handful."

  • "Do tribe cats have any battle moves?"

  • "I hate Breezepaw."

  • "The tribe and the clan are different." "How?" "Minorly..."

  • "I hate Breezepaw."

  • They all stop for the night and the most fantastic possible thing happens.

  • Purdy comes back! Everyone is happier to see Purdy than any other cat that has ever lived.

  • Purdy causes that sort of joy!

  • Everybody loves Purdy.

  • Except for Breezepaw, who so far has hated every part of this journey except for Crowfeather,

  • and, uhh, the clock's ticking for you, old man!

  • That said, the apprentices start to bond a bit over being rude to old people,

  • and that causes them to be chased by several karmatic dogs.

  • Purdy vaporizes the dogs with his eye beams.

  • They reach the Tribe, but they immediately come across the rude teenagers.

  • The intruders try and make them go to the gas station and buy alcohol and cigarettes for them,

  • but everyone ignores them and keeps walking.

  • None of the Tribe cats are happy to see them.

  • They let them inside anyways.

  • "You're all dead! I can't see you! Lalalalala!", says Stoneteller as soon as they arrive.

  • Jaypaw tries to reason with the Tribe ancestors,

  • but they seem to think that the Tribe sucks and should go away.

  • Everybody flirts with the Tribe cats until they let them help instead.

  • They spend about 15 minutes teaching the Tribe how to fight.

  • "That's how fast I learned it," says Lionpaw.

  • The teenagers come back and call Brambleclaw a few rude names before running off again.

  • Hollypaw starts to think that maybe the destruction of other people's culture is wrong.

  • "Be quiet, Hollypaw. Every country should be Thunderclan", insists Lionpaw.

  • Jaypaw has a dream where Rock makes a fake fart noise and then vanishes.

  • Stoneteller wakes up and tells everyone that while he appreciates the effort,

  • the Tribe has decided to collectively die.

  • "Wait, we didn't agree to this," says everyone.

  • "Oh, okay, I'll take another vote," responds Stoneteller.

  • So everybody sets up a tiny fence around the mountain, but the teenagers just step over it.

  • This is the last straw, so everybody sets out to follow the teenagers home.

  • "Don't die, it's really important", Jayfeather tells his siblings.

  • "Like, more than usual?" They ask.

  • "Yeah, usually it's not important," he responds.

  • They break into the teenagers' home and Lionpaw smashes all their cellphones on the ground, one by one.

  • Rock shows up in the daytime to tell Jaypaw about how he should MAYBE create a time paradox out here later, I don't know!

  • Upon learning, that Lionpaw didn't get hurt at all in the fight,

  • Jaypaw is about to tell everyone about how they're involved in this special, mystical prophecy from a long, long time ago,

  • but the book literally cuts him off mid-sentence.

  • A cliffhanger. A. Six. Month. Cliffhanger.

  • This book is filler.

  • There is nothing in this book.

In the mountains, the entire Tribe of Rushing Water is being bullied by maybe three or four teenagers.

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B1 中級 美國腔

我為大家劇透 驅逐之戰 (貓戰士第三部第三本)(i spoil Outcast for everybody)

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    Simba wang 960426 發佈於 2024 年 02 月 19 日
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