But who cares about those guys, Sandpaw and Dustpaw are as jealous as heck. But Greystripe and Fireheart aren't listening,

They need to get rid of Tigerclaw, but they change their mind about this immediately. Tigerclaw sure is great!

So everyone heads to the gathering where Crookedstar and Nightpelt are talking about how great it is they can eat WindClan's food now.

Bluestar is the only cat with any morality ,even though her logic boils down to "We cannot have more trees than clans."

So Bluestar makes Fireheart and Graystripe bring Windclan back because they're disposable.

So they're about to meet WindClan when Spottedleaf descends from Heaven to be all, "So Fireheart, what's your ideal date like? Just asking."

"Well that sure was weird." Says Fireheart.

So they find WindClan, cross the road with a whole clan 300 times and nobody gets to the other side.

Then the sleepover moves to Ravenpaw and Barley's party barn.

Barkface, the RiverClan medicine cat is terrified by a pink cloud. This deters nobody and they all decide to take a shortcut through

RiverClan territory.

Just as they arrived, RiverClan's cheating AI auto detects them and comes to beat them up.

but ThunderClan cheats too so Tigerclaw and his patrol show up too.

Sandstorm is fighting and almost falls down the infinite pit of misery. Fireheart saves her

but she doesn't appreciate it. Then some other guy falls in and she realizes, "Wait , crap the doom pit is dangerous!" Also,

this is what the pink cloud was about.

So everyone comes home and Bluestar decides to get Fireheart and Graystripe children of their own.

"These kits are under six moons Bluestar, isn't that what Brokenstar did?" "Shut up." Says Bluestar

Shoving Brackenpaw in his face.

Tigerclaw stands around horrified about babies training babies as Cinderpaw's super glued to Fireheart. Note

Cinderpaw recognizes the smell of ShadowClan from the quote "Kits that were stolen" even though she was one of the stolen kits.

Also, she's much too enthusiastic about the Thunderpath. They meet a brown kitty pet and chase her away.

But Fireheart realizes 400 years later that she was actually his twin in a dream

He takes off to find her even though he has responsibilities now

He visits his sister who is teen pregnant and then leaves before they talk about anything important

The next day Graystripe, Fireheart, and their apprentices have already forgotten that RiverClan territories dangerous, so Graystripe jumps in the frozen stream.

Silverstream, who has the prestigious title of miss Riverclan 2003, saves his life as he repays her by flirting in front of everyone.

Then Cinderpaw, expert deceiver, convinces everyone that he fell in the creek while teaching them how to pole dance.

All of a sudden Graystripe is always missing he's missing so long that Fireheart is the new Graystripe.

Eventually Fireheart follows him.

He asks him what he's been doing,

And he only replies with, "I'm a man now, Fireheart." He tells Silverstream to stop seeing Graystripe

But she doesn't think her love could ever hurt anyone

So Bluestar gets sick and two seconds later

Dustpaw comes in saying he needs to meet Tigerclaw on the dangerous road. "The thunderpath?

I love the thunderpath!" Says Cinderpaw teleporting to Tigerclaw and immediately getting hit by a car. Bluestar dies. Then she undies.

Fireheart goes on a date with Sandpaw who previously was bullying him.

"Hey Fireheart we could use this to kill RiverClan!" says Sandpaw, pointing at the frozen path. "What, no!" Cries Fireheart.

"Great idea

Sandpaw!" Says Bluestar. Fireheart and Graystripe proceeded to beat each other up.

Fireheart takes his sister's fluffiest child to be his new best friend

now that Graystripe keeps blowing him off for a sexy girlfriend.

"What should we do with this?"

Asks Bluestar. "Let's throw it in the garbage can!" Says Tigerclaw. "We'll keep it then." Responds Bluestar

Everyone accuses everyone else of trespassing at the Gathering.

A patrol finds out that ShadowClan were the

trespassers, and everyone goes in to murder mode. All of the warriors lead to go kill ShadowClan.

"Brokenstar did this." Says old cat Mcdoctor. "Who?" "The cat we chased out of ShadowClan last book." "Oh,

duh, of course." Says everyone in unison.

Suddenly Brokenstar pops out. "Ha ha, hi. Nice babies

you've got there." Says Brokenstar. Everyone beats the crap out of him. Brokenstar gets dead

"Dead in a few more times!" Says Fireheart. "Naw, bro. That's my son." Says Yellowfang, dragging his corpse into the medicine hut. And

now, a scene from Fire & Ice. Are you okay, Cinderpaw? Life is pain,

I would rather be dead.

Why won't you let me fight?

Then Bluestar finally allows Sandpaw and Dustpaw to evolve without spamming B.

But suddenly all the kits are gone. They went hunting in the snow. Clearly this is Fireheart's fault. As it turns out,

Slytherin and Hufflepuff are trying to drive out Ravenclaw again, so it's up to Gryffindor to stop them.

But first, Spotedleaf materializes in one of Firehearts dreams. "Hey stud. One of the cats

you know is evil." Hmm that must be Graystripe and not the cat who killed Redtail. All the cats fight.

Oh, and Silverstream, our love couldn't hurt anyone's myth is here too, as predicted, hurting things with her love.

Tigerclaw Gets 400 medals for his bravery and almost letting Fireheart die. Then Graystripe and Fireheart make up.

Even though Greystripe has changed nothing about his behavior and intends to keep living in sin.