You get into the air, they start making useless announcements that you don't even care about, just to give you that feeling that he knows what he's doing.

你進入空中，他們開始發佈一些你根本不關心的無用公告，只是為了給你一種他知道自己在做什麼的感覺。

Get up there as the seat belt lights go *sound of seat belt light*

當安全帶指示燈亮起時 *安全帶指示燈的聲音 *

"Ladies and gentlemen as you may have noticed we have reached our cruising altitude currently sitting at 23 000 feet above sea level.

「女士們先生們，你們可能已經注意到，我們已經到達了巡航高度，目前位於海拔23000英尺。

Cruising at about 720km an hour in this Boeing 737, one of the favourite planes in the star ____.

這架波音737的巡航速度約為每小時720公里，波音737試最後歡迎的飛機______。

Beautiful sunny day up here, we might encounter a few bumps but nothing to hectic, the cabin crew will be taking care of you.

這裡陽光明媚，我們可能會遇到一些顛簸，但不會很緊張，機艙乘務員會照顧你的。

In the front we've got Esmeralda and Jonathan and in the rear Simon and Tsitseng and Verera.

前面是艾斯梅拉爾達和喬納森，後面是西蒙、齊森和維拉。

I'll will be taking care of you and if you need anything, don't hesitate to call.

我會好好照顧你們的，如果有什麼需要，儘管呼喚。

I'll let you know once we've begun our descent, until then, please enjoy your flight, thank you."

一旦我們開始下降，我會告訴你的，在那之前，請享受你的飛行，謝謝。

*sound of intercom switching off* and you are like, "Oh yeah, pilot yeah! My guy, my guy! Pilot!"

*對講機關閉的聲音* 你就會想：「哦耶，飛行員耶！我的兄弟，飛行員！」

It's cool, it's cool.

很酷，很酷。

I just don't like the fact that they never let you know when something's gone wrong.

我只是不喜歡他們從來不讓你知道出了什麼問題。

It freaks me out because they are trained to keep you calm, no matter what's going on.

這把我嚇壞了，因為他們受過訓練，無論發生什麼事都會讓你保持冷靜。

And I noticed this because we hit turbulence, coming into Johannesburg, there where hectic storms.

我注意到這一點是因為我們遇到了湍流，進入約翰尼斯堡，那裡有激烈的風暴。

And the plane started shaking, and you know it wasn't like calm turbulence.

飛機開始搖晃，你知道這不像是平靜的亂流。

Its that turbulence where people's knuckles get white when they are holding there.

就是那種讓人緊張的抓著東西到指節發白的亂流。

You know, because you know people try and act natural in the plane, they will be like *humming*

你知道，因為你知道人們試圖在飛機上表現得自然，他們會像*嗡嗡聲*

And then they get to a point where they like *experiencing turbulance*

然後他們變成*正在經歷亂流*

And that point comes and like everyone in the plane is panicking, everyone, except the air hostesses, they are amazing.

那一刻到來時，飛機上的每個人都驚慌失措，除了空服員之外，他們真的很棒。

I love how they do it, you know.

我喜歡他們的冷靜。

Like you will hit the turbulence, you will be like *sound of turbulance*

你遇到亂流，你會像*亂流聲*

Things are falling, the bags are hitting the sides of the compartments *sound of turbulance*

東西掉下來了，袋子撞到了車廂邊上。*亂流的聲音*

People are panicking, except for the hostesses. They just move through naturally.

除了空服員之外，大家都很慌張。 他們只是自然地通過。

It's freaky, Its almost like the lower half is not connected to the upper body.

太奇怪了，下半身和上半身幾乎沒有任何連結。

Because they will just carry on, they will be like, "Yes, yes. Would you guys like some coffee? Yeah, okay.

因為他們會繼續走，他們會像：「是的，是的，你們想喝點咖啡嗎？好啊。

There you go. Be careful its hot. Thank you. Alright then.

給你，小心燙。謝謝。

Anything for you sir, huh? Yeah, okay.

先生，需要什麼嗎？好的。

Okay then, just pass me an apple juice. Alright, thank you very much.

那好吧，給我一杯蘋果汁，好的，非常感謝。

There you go, would you like some ice? No ice, thank you."

給你，要加點冰嗎？好的不用冰，謝謝。」

I don't know how they do it.

我不知道他們是怎麼做到的。

And then the pilot has the nerve to come on in the middle of the biggest storm ever.

然後飛行員就有勇氣在有史以來最大的風暴中廣播。

The plane is shaking, the wings are tilting slightly upwards.

飛機在搖晃，機翼微微向上傾斜。

You think you are going to die, it's like *sound of turbulance*

你會覺得自己要死了，像是*亂流的聲音*。

People are screaming, it's like *sound of turbulance*

人們在尖叫，像是*亂流的聲音*。

*intercom switching on* *Sound of turebulace*

*"對講機打開"，*亂流的聲音*。

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have encountered some slight turbulence.

「女士，先生們，我們遇到了一些輕微的亂流。

We ask that everyone return to their seats at this point, and refrain from using the lavatory's.

請大家回到座位上，不要使用廁所。

Please note we will be flying at a higher altitude to alleviate the problem.

請注意，我們將以更高的高度飛行來緩解這一問題。

Also, keep your seat belts fastened, and no hot drinks will be served at this time for your safety.

還有，請繫好安全帶，為了你的安全，現在不提供熱飲。

Thank you very much and I will speak to you in a moment once we have gotten out of this bumpy patch."

非常感謝你，一旦我們出了這個亂流，我會立即與你交談。」

Speak to you in a moment.

立即與你們交談。

That moment might never come.

那一刻可能永遠不會到來。

He doesn't tell you this.

他沒有告訴你這些。

When the nation-wide flight lost an engine, the pilot said nothing.

當全國航班失去引擎時，飛行員什麼也沒說。

It just fell. Quiet.

它就這麼掉下來了。寂靜無聲。

I don't want a pilot like that. I want someone who lets me know.

我不想要這樣的飛行員，我想要一個能讓我知道的人。

I want to know before I'm going to die, I want to know.

我想在死前知道，我想知道。

I want to say a prayer or two. I want to prepare my self, you know.

我想做一兩次祈禱，我想做好心理準備。

I want to forgive everyone I hate in the world.

我想原諒世界上所有我憎恨的人。

Give me a chance, give me a chance.

給我一個機會，給我一個機會。

But the don't, pilots. No, they don't.

但飛行員們不會，他們不會。

Other people who die in plane crashes don't even know they've died.

其他死於空難的人甚至不知道自己已經死了。

Must be the worst feeling in the world.

這一定是世界上最糟糕的感覺。

There's like a whole bunch of confused people popping into heaven like *popping sound*

像是一大群迷茫的人突然闖入天堂。

"I swear these airports change all the time. I never know where to go, I never.

「我發誓這些機場一直在變，我從不知道該去哪裡，我從不知道。

I'm like, are we are we in heaven?

我們是在天堂嗎？

Oh wow, I cant believe we made it huh?

哇哦，真不敢相信我們成功了，是吧？

Guys, I cant believe; wow, this is amazing."

各位，我簡直不敢相信；哇，這太神奇了。」

And there is Saint Peter at the gates and he's like "Come forward please, come forward. Come forward."

聖彼得就在門口，他說：「請上前來，上前來。」

She's like, "Who are you?" - "I am Saint Peter, Saint Peter."

她說：「你是誰？」- 「我是聖彼得。」

"Uh, but you"

「呃，但是你。」

"Yeah, I know. Many people are shocked, just come. I get that all the time, just come.

「是的，我知道。很多人都震驚了，快來吧。我經常得到這樣的反應，來就對了。

Just come, just come."

來吧，來吧。」

"I just thought that."

「我就是這麼想的。」

"No, don't worry. Just come, please, just wait till you see Jesus. Come, come."

「不，別擔心。請來吧，等你見到耶穌再說。來吧，來吧。」

I don't want that. I want someone to let me know when I am going to die.

我不希望這樣，我希望有人能讓我知道我什麼時候會死。

Like taxi drivers, there is no person who died in a taxi not knowing that they've died.

比如計程車司機、沒有人死在計程車裡還不知道自己已經死了。

Just before the crash the taxi driver will be like, "Yo! *sound of taxi crashing*"

就在撞車之前，計程車司機會說：「喲！*出租車撞車的聲音*」

People walking into heaven like, "Yo, dead, dead, dead!

走進天堂會說：「"喲，死了，死了，死了！"

Dead, yeah, for sure, we're dead! Gone, gone, gone, yeah!"

死了，是的，我們肯定死定了！掛了，掛了，掛了，耶！」

They know.

他們知道。

Sometimes they survive the crash but they still think they are dead.

有時，他們在撞車中倖存下來，但仍以為自己死了。

Walking on the pavement. "Dead, dead, dead, dead! Yo, dead!"

走在人行道上說：「死了，死了，死了，死了！喲，死了！」

But luckily we did land safely in Johannesburg.

但幸運的是，我們安全降落在約翰內斯堡。

We landed safely and everyone clapped when the plane landed, "Yay!"

我們安全著陸了，飛機降落時大家都鼓起掌來。

Clapped and walked into the airport terminal building.

拍拍手，走進了機場航站樓。

And that's the point when you realize you are back in South Africa.

這時，你意識到自己回到了南非。

When you fly internationally, and then when you land at any of our airports, and if you listen carefully, you realize that you are back.

當你搭乘國際航班，然後降落在我們的任何一個機場時，如果你仔細聆聽，你會發現自己回到家鄉了。

Like South Africa once again, the world went there and we were like, "No, no,we are going. We going just that side."

南非又一次，世界往這邊走，而我們就像：「不，不，我們要走這邊。我們就去那邊。」

Because all over the world, they conform to a norm and that is in airports, women make announcements.

因為全世界都遵守一個準則，那就是在機場，廣播公告的是女性。

It's always a woman, always.

總是女性，總是這樣。

And shes always calm, always monotone.

她總是很平靜，總是單調。

Always comes over that system, she sits in a room quietly.

她總是通過那個廣播系統，靜靜地坐在房間裡。

They bring her the pages one by one.

他們把書頁一張一張地拿給她。

You can be in Heathrow, for instance, you'll hear that woman come on the system. *PA system sound effect*

比如在希斯洛機場，你就會聽到系統裡傳來那個女人的聲音。*廣播系統音效*

"Attention all passengers. Please note this is an airport announcement.

「所有乘客請注意。請注意，這是機場公告。

No passengers are permitted to leave any items unattended as this may be seen as a security risk.

乘客不得將任何物品隨意放置，否則會被視為安全隱患。

Any unattended luggage will be removed by security and destroyed. Thank you." *PA system turns off*

任何無人看管的行李都將被安保人員拿走並銷燬。謝謝。」*廣播系統關閉*

Everywhere in the world, even if you go to like non English speaking countries, they still conform to that norm.

在世界上的任何地方，即使你去的是不說英語的國家，他們仍然符合這一標準。

You know, you go to places like China, where you wouldn't expect it, you know?

你知道，像是去中國，你想不到會這樣的地方。

You think and I see some of you probably thinking there be like, *Stereotypical Chinese jibberish*

你們會想，我看到你們中的一些人可能會想：「*刻板印象的中文*」

No, don't even laugh, that's racist. Don't even laugh.

不，別笑，那是種族歧視。別笑了。

Don't, hey! Don't, no. That's racist. You don't even laugh.

不要，嘿！不要，這是種族歧視。你不準笑。

But they're not.

但他們不是。

They're calm.

他們很冷靜。

It's a woman, still the same.

是個女性，一樣。

It's just another language she'll come on the PA like, *PA system turns on*

只是另一種語言，她會出現在靠近廣播系統說：「*廣播系統開啟*

"*Calm Chinese jibberish*" *PA system turns off*

「*冷靜的中文胡言亂語*」*廣播系統關閉*

And you know, you know they've conformed.

你知道他們符合準則了。

And then you land in South Africa.

然後你降落在南非。

And you know you've landed, you know that your back home when you walk into the airport terminal building.

你知道你已經著陸，當你走進機場航站樓時，你知道你回家了。

You walk in and I don't even know if they audition the people who do it.

你走進去，我甚至不知道他們是否會對廣播者進行試鏡。

No, no, no.

不會。

It's almost like who ever is closest to the mic gets to do it first, you know?

就好像誰離麥克風最近，誰就上，你知道嗎？

No, you go do it

不，你去吧。

It's the craziest thing!

這是最瘋狂的事情！

Luckily, 99 percent of the time it's a woman.

幸運的是，99% 的情況下都是女人。

But she'll come on, its the craziest thing ever, as your walking, she'll come and be like *PA system turns on*

最瘋狂的地方是，你走著走著聽到他說：*廣播系統開啟*

"ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS! ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS!

「所有乘客請注意！所有乘客請注意！

HELLO! HELLO!

你好！你好！

I'm talking to you! Hello!

我在跟你說話！你好！

All the people that is flying Kalula.com, the plane is delayed They plane you should go on to was two, now it's three.

所有乘坐 Kalula.com 班機的乘客，飛機延誤了，你應該搭的飛機本來是兩點，現在是三點。

Yes, all the people must just take a ticket for that plane and we won't have a problem, okay.

是的，所有的人都必須購有那架飛機的機票，我們就不會有問題了，好嗎。

Just to confirm if your ticket says two, it's going to be three, okay.

確認一下，如果你的票上寫的是兩點，現在變成三點了，好嗎

Just mustn't complain when the plane has left because I am telling you now.

我現在就告訴你，飛機走了，你可千萬別抱怨。

And you must just phone the people to pick you up.

還有你必須打電話給接你的人。

You must tell them: 'My plane has changed.'"

你必須告訴他們：『我的飛機改時間了。』」

And then they start speaking to people in the background and they don't even turn off their mic!

然後他們就開始在後臺跟人講話，甚至連麥克風都不關！

"Okay.

「好吧。

Okay all the people that is flying one time, the gate has changed."

好吧，所有直飛的人，登機門變了。

It's not the D2, it's C15.

不是D2，是C15。

It's not the D2, it's C15.

不是D2，是C15。

If you can go to D2, you can find nothing.

如果你去 D2，你什麼也找不到。

Okay, bye-bye."

好的，再見。」