Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

已審核 字幕已審核
  • So I got some Tweets about the first show.


  • People were asking Martin because, you know, people saw Stand Up Revolution season one and they noticed that your hair is different.

    人們問馬丁,因為你知道,人們看到了《Stand Up Revolution》第一季,他們注意到你的頭髮不一樣了。

  • Your hair is actually three inches longer than it was last year.


  • You know, I'm just glad I picked up inches somewhere, bro.


  • I'll take it.


  • What's different, bro? 'Cause last year, you know, it was getting longer, kind of starts getting.


  • Now you're bringing back the '80s, bro.


  • I wish I could bring back the '80s. I went hard in the '80s, bro.


  • You know that show Remember the'80s? I'm glad they made it because I forgot half the crap that I did.


  • And you guys have no idea. This man right here, OK, if he looks like a rock stars, it's because he parties hard.


  • I know how hard he parties. Ozo knows how hard he parties.


  • Let me tell you a story.


  • After season one of Stand-Up Revolution, we went on tour for a while.

    在第一季《 Stand-Up Revolution》之後,我們進行了一段時間的巡演。

  • We went all over the US and as a gift to all my buddies that were on the tour with me, I gave everybody an iPhone 4S. Yeah, we're good.

    我們遍歷美國各地,作為送給所有與我一同參加巡迴演出的朋友的禮物,我送給每個人一部 iPhone 4S。是的,我們很好。

  • Martin was so excited because it had this feature, it still has this feature called Siri where you hit the button and you can talk to the phone and it'll help you out.

    馬丁當時非常興奮,因為它擁有一個名為 Siri 的功能(其實現在也還有)你按下按鈕就可以對著手機說話,它會幫助你解決問題。

  • Like you say, "Oh call John." And it's like, you know, "Calling John."


  • You know, it's really, it's really, really cool.


  • But Martin, you see how he is, you know, he messes with the phone.


  • He's like, "Siri, tell me something dirty," and the phone takes everything literal.

    他就會說:「 Siri,跟我說些色色的東西」然後手機就會從字面上理解一切。

  • So it's like, "Would you like me to locate a car wash?"


  • You know?


  • So anyways, you guys, I had a lot of fun watching them play with the phone, but then a couple weeks go by and we're doing a show in Northern California in San Jose.


  • And we had a really good time that night doing the show and the people invited us to hang out and we had a bunch of drinks and someone said, "You wanna go eat?" and I was like, "Yeah," and someone said, "Uou wanna go drink?"


  • And so Martin and I parted ways for about an hour and then we met up an hour later back at the, you know, at the hotel and I'm walking in okay, and he's gone.


  • He is just. Somebody's helping him in.


  • I'm like, "Who are you?" - "I don't know, but he fell."

    我說:「你是誰?」- 「我不知道,但他摔倒了。」

  • You know, and drag him in and he doesn't even take off his clothes.


  • He gets into the bed with everything on, including his shoes.


  • So the next morning, guys, our team comes over to my side of the room and he's like, "Bro!"


  • "Are you okay?" - "Bro, I peed on myself!"

    「你還好嗎?」- 「兄弟,我尿褲子了!」

  • And my response was actually, "Again?" because he's partied that hard in the past Martinez partied so hard, you guys, that there's been times where he's had to throw away mattresses.


  • All right?


  • So I go, "Martin, why are you taking it so much worse?"


  • In the past whenever that happened, he laughed about, "Oh, bro. Look what happened. Party like a rock star." You know.


  • He goes, "Bro, you don't understand. My phone was in my pocket."


  • I go, "Nooo!"


  • "Yeah, I drowned Siri."

    「是的,我把 Siri 淹死了。」

  • I had a heart attack and I felt bad because Martin was like, "Bro, it's a new phone."


  • I go, "Listen, Martin."


  • I said, "Hey, don't worry, I got you covered, man."


  • And so I said, "Listen, I'm gonna go get you a new phone."


  • So we take a nice little trip to the mall and we found an Apple store and we get to the front and there's a girl there with a clipboard and they're always trying to, "How can I help you?"


  • And, "Well, we wanna see about replacing my friend's phone."


  • "Did he lose it?"


  • I go, "No, it's actually, it, it got damaged."


  • "But what's wrong with the phone?"


  • I go, "It kinda got wet," and then she looks at Martin, "Oh, did someone drop it in the sink?"


  • I'm like, "No, not exactly."


  • She said, "Oh, he dropped it in the toilet?"


  • I go, "He wishes."


  • She goes, "Well, we have a few in stock. Would you like a black iPhone or would you like a white iPhone?"

    她說:「我們有一些庫存。你想要黑色的 iPhone 還是白色的 iPhone?」

  • I said, "Well, you know, Martin and I have the same color iPhone."


  • I said we both have a white one.


  • So I says, "Just so we don't have the confusion of always grabbing each other's phones."


  • I said, "Martin, would you mind getting a black iPhone?"


  • He goes, "Yeah, but um does the black iPhone have Siri?"

    他說,「好啊,但黑色蘋果手機有 Siri 嗎?」

  • And I'm like, "What kind of a question is that? Why wouldn't the black iphone have Siri?" right?

    我就想:「這什麼問題?為什麼黑色 iPhone 沒有 Siri?」 對不對?

  • And then I started thinking, can you imagine if a black i{Phone was really a black iPhone?

    然後我開始想,你能想象如果一部黑 iPhone 真的是一部黑 iPhone 嗎?

  • You know Martin gets in the car, "Siri, what's the temperature outside?"


  • "Why don't you stick your head out the window?"


  • "Siri, talk dirty to me."


  • "You better not pee on me. Ok? I ain't like that white iphone."


So I got some Tweets about the first show.


已審核 字幕已審核

單字即點即查 點擊單字可以查詢單字解釋