Today, I'm gonna go over how I manage to start conversations with random strangers and create long term friendships.

今天，我將向大家介紹我是如何與陌生人交談並建立長期友誼的。

This is something that I do quite often as I'm always traveling around and finding people to hang out with.

這是我經常做的事情，因為我總是到處旅行，找人一起玩。

I do this with a simple five step process step.

為此，我採用了一個簡單的五步流程步驟。

Number one, I'm always keeping two things in mind, proximity and eye contact in regards to proximity.

首先，我始終牢記兩點，一是距離要近，二是要有眼神交流。

I usually only start conversations with people that are around me within just one or 2 m and that's because it's close enough for them to hear what I'm saying without yelling and it comes off as more natural.

我通常只和周圍一到兩米範圍內的人開始對話，這是因為距離足夠近，他們能聽清我在說什麼，而不會大喊大叫，這樣會顯得更自然。

I often start conversations with people in the elevator sitting next to me in public transportation or while I'm waiting in line for something in regards to eye contact, I will only start a conversation with people who make eye contact with me for at least a millisecond.

在公共交通中，我經常在電梯裡或排隊等候時與坐在我旁邊的人開始交談，關於眼神交流，我只與那些與我有至少一毫秒眼神交流的人開始交談。

And that's because eye contact is a form of communication.

這是因為眼神交流是一種溝通方式。

It's an acknowledgment that I exist.

這是承認我的存在。

If someone is at a coffee shop focused on their work, I will almost never speak with them because I don't want to disturb them but if they're the coffee shop, looking around, playing on their phone and staring into the distance, this is a person that is much more likely to be interested in having a conversation.

如果一個人在咖啡館裡專注於工作，我幾乎不會和他說話，因為我不想打擾他，但如果他在咖啡館裡東張西望、玩手機、凝視遠方，這個人就更有可能有興趣和我交談。

If someone is in my proximity and makes eye contact for a brief second, I will jump to step number two, which is to ask them, where are you from?

如果有人在我附近，並與我有短暫的目光接觸，我會跳到第二步，即問他，你來自哪裡？

The reason I do this is because I grew up in New York City where people come from very diverse backgrounds.

我這樣做的原因是，我在紐約長大，那裡的人們來自不同的背景。

And I'm also traveling all the time.

我還經常旅行。

So I come across all types of people.

是以，我接觸過各種類型的人。

But if you are from a city where everyone comes from the same ethnic background, you can this to something like, what part of town are you from?

但如果你來自一個城市，那裡的每個人都有相同的種族背景，你可以這樣問：你來自城市的哪個地區？

I've never once had a bad reaction to this opening line out of the thousands of times.

千百次使用這句開場白，我從未有過一次不良反應。

I've used it throughout my life.

我一生都在使用它。

Once they respond, we can move on to step.

一旦他們做出迴應，我們就可以進入下一步。

Number three, step number three is to share what you know, or ask them a question about their background.

第三，第三步是分享你所知道的，或者問他們一個關於他們背景的問題。

This is a bit tricky.

這有點棘手。

So let me show you how I usually do it with a few examples.

是以，讓我舉例說明我通常是怎麼做的。

So a year ago, I came across a taxi driver in New York City who is from Bhutan when he told me that he was from Bhutan.

一年前，我在紐約遇到一位來自不丹的計程車司機，他告訴我他來自不丹。

I said, oh, wow.

我說，哦，哇。

I never met anyone from there before but I heard it's the happiest country on the planet.

我從未見過那裡的人，但聽說那裡是地球上最幸福的國家。

Is that true?

這是真的嗎？

Do you see what I did there.

你看到我做了什麼嗎？

I shared what I knew about their country and then I asked them a question so that they tell me more.

我向他們介紹了我對他們國家的瞭解，然後向他們提問，讓他們告訴我更多。

The reason I do this is actually because I'm genuinely interested in learning more about their background.

我之所以這樣做，實際上是因為我真的很想了解他們的背景。

I want to see if the rumors are true.

我想看看傳言是否屬實。

And the next time I meet someone from Bhutan, I will be able to share something that they wouldn't expect a stranger to know.

下一次，當我遇到來自不丹的人時，我就能和他們分享一些他們不會想到一個陌生人會知道的事情。

Here's an example of what I mean.

下面舉例說明我的意思。

So in Europe, I met a Nigerian that told me something pretty interesting during our conversation and it was quote, the smartest Nigerians usually leave Nigeria.

在歐洲，我遇到了一個尼日利亞人，他在談話中告訴我一件非常有趣的事情，那就是：最聰明的尼日利亞人通常會離開尼日利亞。

So from then on, whenever I came across another Nigerian, anywhere in the world, I would say, I heard that the smartest Nigerians leave Nigeria.

是以，從那時起，無論我在世界任何地方遇到另一個尼日利亞人，我都會說，我聽說最聰明的尼日利亞人都離開了尼日利亞。

Is this true?

這是真的嗎？

Now, I know this might sound kind of offensive, but it's not my statement, it's someone else's and I'm asking it from a place of curiosity.

現在，我知道這聽起來可能有點冒犯，但這不是我的說法，而是別人的說法，我是出於好奇才問的。

So I've never gotten a negative response out of the dozens of times.

是以，我在幾十次中從未得到過負面答覆。

I've mentioned it.

我已經提過了。

In fact, most of the time they'll laugh and say that's right because if you think about it, it's actually a compliment.

事實上，大多數時候他們都會笑著說這是對的，因為如果你仔細想想，這其實是一種讚美。

Now, you probably gained the sense that I like to be a bit adventurous during my conversations with people, I like to say some pretty risky stuff, things that some people might find offensive.

現在，你可能已經感覺到，我在與人交談時喜歡冒險，我喜歡說一些很冒險的話，一些可能會讓人反感的話。

This is an important principle to keep in mind the riskier, the things you say the more memorable and authentic you will come off as yes, there will be some people who are triggered by things like this, but they weren't going to be good friends anyways, people like this are extremely hard to have fun with because you have to filter yourself often when you're around them, the people who find your comments and questions interesting will quickly feel much more comfortable around you because they know that you are not someone they have to be careful around.

這是一個需要牢記的重要原則，你說的話越冒險，你就越令人難忘，越真實，是的，會有一些人因為這樣的事情而被激怒，但無論如何他們都不會成為好朋友，這樣的人很難和他們玩得開心，因為當你和他們在一起時，你必須經常過濾自己，那些覺得你的評論和問題有趣的人很快就會覺得和你在一起舒服多了，因為他們知道你不是一個需要小心翼翼的人。

If you want to play it safe, that's fine as well.

如果你想穩妥起見，也沒問題。

You can still make a ton of friends by being genuinely interested in the other person.

只要對對方真正感興趣，你還是可以交到很多朋友的。

Now, once you've commented and asked them questions on their background, you can branch the conversation off into many different places.

現在，一旦你對他們的背景進行了評論和提問，你就可以將對話延伸到許多不同的地方。

I usually ask them what they do, what they think about the country that we're both currently in and other current events.

我通常會問他們是做什麼的，對我們目前所在的國家有什麼看法，以及其他時事。

This step can last anywhere from a minute to an hour and this is where the majority of the report is built.

這一步驟可能持續一分鐘到一小時不等，報告的大部分內容就是在這一步驟中完成的。

If I like this person and think that I'll have a fun time hanging out with them more.

如果我喜歡這個人，並認為和他在一起會有更多的樂趣。

I will move on to step number four.

下面進入第四步。

If not, I wish them well and I say my goodbyes.

如果沒有，我祝願他們一切順利，並向他們道別。

Step number four is simple.

第四步很簡單。

I invite them out.

我請他們出來。

If I'm in a city with a good night life, I'll ask them to go for drinks.

如果我在一個夜生活豐富的城市，我會約他們去喝酒。

If not, I'll ask them to come eat with me.

如果沒有，我就請他們來和我一起吃。

It's as simple as that being a fun person to hang out with is basically more of step number three and some other conversation skills that we'll cover in later episodes of the Befriend course.

很簡單，要成為一個有趣的人，基本上更多的是第三步和其他一些談話技巧，我們會在 Befriend 課程的後面幾集裡介紹。

But essentially once you've invited them out, there's only one last step and that's step number five, the next time you see them mention their name just one time, this shows them that you actually remembered their name.

但基本上，一旦你邀請了他們，就只有最後一步了，那就是第五步，下次你再見到他們時，只要提到一次他們的名字，這就表明你真的記住了他們的名字。

You don't need to say it more than once in my opinion because just saying it once will cause the other person to think.

在我看來，你不需要多說幾次，因為只要說一次就會引起對方的思考。

Wow, this dude actually remembered my name and that's enough.

哇，這傢伙居然還記得我的名字，這就夠了。

And that's it.

就是這樣。

This is how you start conversations with just about anyone and pivot that conversation into a potential friendship.

這樣，你就能與任何人開始對話，並將對話轉為潛在的友誼。

If you're interested in learning more about how to befriend people and improve your social skills, make sure you watch all of the episodes in the befriend course and hit the bell icon.

如果你有興趣瞭解更多關於如何結交朋友和提高社交技巧的資訊，請務必觀看結交課程的所有劇集，並點擊鈴鐺圖標。

So you don't miss the next episode besides that guys.

除此之外，你們可別錯過了下一集。

Stay tuned.

敬請期待。