I see a lot of people out here in the streets they want to come up to me, but they're not really sure.

我在街上看到很多人想找我，但他們不太確定。

There's a lot of debate amongst their friends, they're like, "Hey, man, are you sure that's him?

他們朋友之間會有很多爭論，他們說：「嘿，兄弟，你確定那是他嗎？

If we go up there we got to be sure, because if we go up there and it's not him, we're going to look super racist.

如果我們去找他，我們必須確定，因為如果我們去了，卻不是他，我們會看起來超種族歧視。」

Are you sure that's not Ken Jeong?

你確定那不是鄭肯嗎？

I don't know, he looks kind of like Ali Wong, I don't know."

我不知道，看起來有點像王艾莉。我不知道。」

And they come up to me is always like the first thing they say like, "Hey, hey, man, aren't you that dude Jian Yang from that show Silicon Valley?

他們對我說的第一句話就是：「嘿，嘿，兄弟。你不是《矽谷群瞎傳》裡的金陽嗎？ 」

And I was like, "Yeah, thanks." I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, I am."

我說：「是啊，謝啦。」我說：「沒錯，謝謝你，我很感謝，就是我。」

And they're like, "Oh, shit, I didn't even know you speak english in real life."

他們說：「天阿，我都不知道我你在現實生活中會說英語。」

I'm like, "It's called acting, motherfucker.

我說：「這叫做演戲好嗎，王八蛋。

Like did you really think Matt Damon was Chinese? Like, what's wrong with you?"

你真以為麥特戴蒙是中國人嗎？你有什麼問題？」

I don't know what the disconnect is.

我不知道是哪脫節了。

Like if a white actor does a british accent, he's a thespian; he wins an Oscar.

如果一個白人演員操一口英國口音，他就成了演員，他會贏得奧斯卡獎。

If I do a Chinese accent, I'm automatically from the old country.

如果我說一口中國口音，我就會被認為來自老家。

Representation matters, man.

代表很重要。

A lot of Asian people coming up to me very proud, very nice.

有很多亞洲人非常驕傲，非常友好的來找我講話。

They're like, "Jimmy, thank you for representing the Asians, man."

他們說：「吉米，，謝謝你代表亞洲人。」

I'm like, "Hey, you're welcome. But you do understand it's not really a choice, right?"

我說：「嘿，嘿，不用謝，但你應該明白，這並不是我能決定的，對吧？」

Like when you wake up Asian, you can only represent Asians.

當你醒來時是亞洲人，你只能代表亞洲人。

I couldn't just wake up one day like, "Fck it, I'm representing Nigerians today."

我不可能一覺醒來說：「 去他的，今天我代表奈及利亞人。」

I'm very proud to represent the Asians, but the same time there's so much pressure.

能代表亞洲人，我感到非常自豪，但同時壓力也很大。

Like nobody ever went up to Matt Damon and be like, "Hey, Matt, thanks for representing the whites."   

從來不會有人去跟麥特戴蒙說：「嘿，麥特，謝謝你代表白人。」

Sounds weird, that's like a different conversation for some reason, you know.

聽起來怪怪的，不知為什麼好像是不同的對話。

If somebody came up to me like, "Hey, Jimmy, I'm representing for the whites."

如果有人對我說：「嘿，吉米，我代表白人。」

I would leave that town immediately and never come back.

我會立即離開那個小鎮，再也不回來了。

So much pressure to represent. I got to be a good Asian everywhere now. I got a tip everywhere I go.

當亞洲人的代表壓力太大了，我必須在任何地方都做個好亞洲人，現在我到哪裡都要給小費了。

That was one of the major advantages of being Asian, is I can just pretend I don't know how to tip.

這是作為亞洲人的一大優勢，我可以假裝不知道如何給小費。

Y'all know what a Chinese tip is?

你們知道什麼是中國式小費嗎？

Chinese tip, it doesn't matter how big your bill is, you tip two dollars. That's a Chinese tip.

中國式小費就是不管你的帳單多少錢，都只給兩塊錢的小費。這就是中國式小費。

That's Chinese tip, man.

這就是中國式小費。

Now I gotta tip 20% everywhere.

現在我到哪都要給 20% 的小費。

I got to give every Uber driver a five-star rating just so I can be a good representative.

我得給每個 Uber 司機五星好評，這樣我才能成為一個好的亞洲人代表。

Everywhere I go, I gotta represent, even day-to-day shit, even the bedroom, I gotta represent.

無論我走到哪裡，我都要代表亞洲人，即使是日常事務，即使是床事，我也要代表亞洲人。

After I hooked up with this one girl this is what she said to me,

在我跟一個女孩交往之後，她對我說：

She was like, "Jimmy, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're the first Asian guy I've ever been with."

她說：「吉米，我不知道怎麼跟你說，但你是我交往過的第一個亞洲男。」

I'm like, "Okay, what do you want? A fortune cookie?"

我說：「好喔，你想要什麼？幸運餅乾嗎？」

Like what do you want? She acts like she just unlocked a new character on Street Fighter or some shit.

你想怎麼樣？她講的好像是他剛解鎖了《快打旋風》裡的角色一樣。

Why do you feel the need to say that?

你為什麼覺得有必要說出來？