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  • But my mom had bought me gym shorts that was my exact size and extra small.


  • So that wasn't very cool because it came down mid-thigh and apparently back in the day that was called the John Stockton.


  • And the same kid next to me, that bully next to me, he was like, "Hey, hey, look at it. Hey, don't wear your pants like that, pull your pants down, man, pull your pants down."


  • And I was like, "Who's the gay one now?"


  • But I didn't know what to do.


  • Everybody was looking at me and this kid kept saying pull your pants down.


  • So I was like, "Oh, I've seen Shawshank Redemption, maybe that's just how it works in America."


  • So I start pulling down my shorts all the way down to my knees, all the way down to my ankle.


  • And the same kid, the bully next to me is like, "Hey, what are you doing? Don't pull him down all the way. That's gay."


  • And I'm like, "What is not gay in this country?"


  • And apparently this other kid next to me, he is like, "Hey, don't pull them down all the way, just sag them a little bit. Just sag your pants."


  • And I didn't know what sagging your pants meant.


  • Apparently, that's a cool hip-hop thing to pull your pants down halfway down your butt.


  • So you show everybody your asshole.


  • And apparently that's the only not gay way to wear your pants in America.


  • I had no idea.


  • All these weird American things I wasn't used to.


  • Eventually, I learned how to speak English by watching a lot of TV, mainly BET "Rap City."

    最後,我通過大量看電視學會了說英語,主要是 BET 的《Rap City》。

  • Because that was my shit. I want to be cool and nothing cooler than BET "Rap City," right?

    因為那是我喜歡的,我想變得很酷,沒有什麼比 BET 的《Rap City》更酷的了,對嗎?

  • Every music video was a slice of somebody's American dream.

    每部 MV 都是某個人美國夢的縮影。

  • The first music video I saw was Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'."

    我看的第一部 MV 是 Jay-Z 的《Big Pimpin'》。

  • Do you guys remember that shit? Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'"was the greatest music video of all time.

    你們是還記得嗎? Jay-Z 的 《Big Pimpin'》是史上最偉大的 MV。

  • It was Jay-Z and his boys on a yacht, pouring champagne on this beautiful woman's face for like four minutes.

    Jay-Z 和他的兄弟們在遊艇上,把香檳倒在這位美女的臉上,大概有四分鐘之久。

  • I was like, "This is America? It's amazing!"


  • That's all I wanted to do.


  • Like before I even wanted to get into stand-up. That's all I wanted to do.


  • I want to be a rapper.


  • I want to be like Jay-Z in "Big Pimpin'".

    我想成為 Jay-Z 在 《Big Pimpin'》那樣的人。

  • So I started my own rap group in high school.


  • It's a true story.


  • It was me, my black friend Julian and my other friend Yugi, who was half black and half Japanese.

    當時有我、我的黑人朋友 Julian 和我的另一個朋友 Yugi,他有一半黑人血統,一半日本血統。

  • So we had perfectly 1.5 black dudes and 1.5 Asian dudes. And we called ourselves the Yellow Panthers.

    所以我們有 1.5 個黑人和 1.5 個亞洲人,自稱「黃豹」。

  • I know, I wish I was making up but I'm not.


  • The Yellow Panthers was a real rap group and we had a real rap song.


  • It was called Underground Railroad Builder.


  • I was confused.


  • Eventually, I became a good Asian-American and I went to school to get an economics degree because that was the easiest degree that can still appease my Asian parents.


  • But then after I graduated, I didn't want to do like econ or finance.


  • So I went up to my dad, I was like, "Dad, I don't want to do any of this. I want to go try to do stand-up."


  • And he was like, "What's a stand-up? (Do) you mean like a talk show?"


  • I was like, "Yeah, sure, talk show, whatever you want to call it. Ok? But I want to go pursue my dreams."

    我說:「對,脫口秀,隨便你怎麼叫。好嗎? 但我想去追求我的夢想。」

  • And he was like, "No, pursue your dreams how you become homeless?"


  • I was like, "No, no, Dad, Dad. Things are different now. We're in America. Ok? In America, we're supposed to do what we love".

    我當時說:「不,不,老爸,現在情況不同了。我們在美國好嗎? 在美國,我們應該做自己喜歡的事。」

  • He was like, "No, everyone does what they hate for money and use the money to do what they love."


But my mom had bought me gym shorts that was my exact size and extra small.


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