You know.

你懂的。

I just can't stand being number 2 or number 3.

我不能忍受第二或第三名。

I have to be first every year.

我必須每年都是第一名。

I'm the greatest Black Friday shopper of all time.

我是有史以來最好的黑色星期五購物者。

I always have the best set up.

我總是有最好的準備。

Here.

這裡。

Yeah, put the cooler over there.

對，把冷藏箱放在那裡。

Welcome to my crib, baby!

歡迎來到我的小窩，寶貝！

What's up, guys?

大家好嗎？

Day 1.

第一天。

First in line...like every year.

排隊第一名...就跟每年一樣。

I have to give it up to my wife.

我必須把家庭託付給我的妻子

She's loyal, supports everything I do.

她很忠誠，一直支持我所做的一切。

Ugh, he does this every year. It's so annoying, but I mean, it gets him out of the house for a couple of days.

呃，他每年都這樣做，有夠討厭，但是，這可以讓他離開家裡好幾天。

People ask me all the time, "How do you prepare yourself?"

人們總是問我：「你做了什麼準備？」

I don't.

我沒有。

TV?

電視？

Aisle 2!

走道2！

Rugs?

地毯？

Aisle 8!

走道8！

Shower curtains?

浴簾？

Behind me!

在我身後！

High knees! High knees! High knees! High knees! High knees!

膝蓋抬高！膝蓋抬高！膝蓋抬高！

Get! Get this slide grab!

拿這個，滑過去然後拿！

Slide grab! Slide grab! Slide grab! Slide grab! Slide grab! Faster!

滑拿！滑拿！滑拿！滑拿！滑拿！快一點！

He thinks that this is some Olympic sport.

他認為這是一種奧運運動。

Like he has to come in first with a golden medal, okay?

就像他得拿到一枚金牌一樣。

It's shopping and it's on a Black Friday. Relax.

這只是購物，在黑色星期五而以，放鬆。

So do you miss your family?

那你有想念你的家人嗎？

No.

沒有。

And how far are they from your campsite?

他們離你的帳篷有多遠？

Like 2 blocks.

二個街區。

I don't care about the blender.

我不在乎果汁機。

Yeah, yeah! I got the blender. Do you know who you're talking to?

對，是啊！我會買到果汁機，你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?

Look, I can just get it online.

我可以在網上買。

Look! Look! I will not come home if I don't get that blender, okay?

聽著，如果我沒有買到果汁機，我不會回家的，好嗎？

Get over it, okay?

別那麼認真，好嗎？

It's a blender. What are you going to save? 5 dollars?

只是個果汁機，你能省下多少錢？ 5美元？

Everything's calculated.

一切都在控制之中

I'm a beast at what I do!

我就是個野獸！

Today's the day.

今天，就是今天。

I've been waiting for this moment all year.

我一整年都在等待這一刻。

Woo!

嗚！

First every year, baby!

每年都是第一名！

Suck it, motherfucker!

吸你媽媽的X吧！

I beat you to it! I beat you to it!

我會打倒你的！我會擊敗你的！

3P!

三次！

3P!

三次！

3P! First in line!

連續三次，每次都第一！

Always. I'm always first.

一直以來，我總是第一。

Alright guys, come on in.

好吧，各位，進來吧。

Hold on! Hold on!

等等！等一下！

Go!

出發！

Slow down!

慢一點！

Slowly!

慢一點！

Did you get everything that you wanted?

你有沒有得到你要買的所有東西？

There was this one item.

有一樣東西。

The blender!

果汁機！

Aw, I'm so sorry.

噢，我很抱歉。

Smell it. It's mine

聞一下吧，它是我的！

Aw...

不....

No. I really need that.

不，我真的很需要這個>

No, you don't.

不，你不需要。

Move along.

放下吧。

Bye! Now Merry Christmas! Bye! Bye! Happy Hanukkah!

再見！聖誕快樂！再見！祝快樂聖誕日！

I mean, at the end of the day, it's just a blender.

我的意思是，這只不過是一個果汁機嘛！