Put your hands together for Jimmy.

雙手合十，為吉米鼓掌。

Thank you, Montreal.

謝謝你，蒙特利爾。

Yes, we are, baby.

是的，我們是，寶貝。

We're doing it.

我們正在做。

Thank you guys.

謝謝你們

Thank you guys.

謝謝你們

Very special for me to finally be here at JFL.

終於來到 JFL，對我來說非常特別。

This is my very first time in Montreal.

這是我第一次來蒙特利爾。

It's all happening.

一切都在發生。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

I love this place, man.

我愛這個地方

It's beautiful.

太美了

It's beautiful.

太美了

Everybody always told me to come here like Montreal, it's just like France, I'm like, yeah, but, but it's not really, you know, I feel like every city in Canada is just like something but not really.

每個人都告訴我來這裡，就像蒙特利爾，就像法國一樣，我想，是的，但是，但其實並不像，你知道，我覺得加拿大的每個城市都很像，但其實並不像。

People always tell me Toronto.

人們總是告訴我多倫多。

It's just like New York but not really Vancouver though, just like Hong Kong but but not really, you know, like I'm gonna start telling my girlfriend, I'm just like Brad Pitt but but not really, you know, it's good to see you guys.

這裡就像紐約，但又不像溫哥華，就像香港，但又不像，你知道，就像我要開始告訴我女朋友，我就像布拉德-皮特，但又不像，你知道，很高興見到你們。

I I had no idea what to expect in Montreal.

我不知道在蒙特利爾會遇到什麼。

You know, I thought it was just a bunch of French people baguettes.

你知道，我還以為只是一群法國人在吃長棍麵包。

It's me being racist simply, you know, and it's very diverse.

這就是我的種族主義，你知道的，它非常多樣化。

A lot of Asians, I saw a lot of Asians felt very safe, you know, I love Canada man but I always get nervous.

很多亞洲人，我看到很多亞洲人感到非常安全，你知道，我愛加拿大人，但我總是感到緊張。

Still crossing the border in Canada.

還是在加拿大過境。

I got past trauma, you know, like as an immigrant, I feel like border just kinda scare me.

我有過去的創傷，你知道，就像作為一個移民，我覺得邊境只是有點嚇唬我。

The first time I came to Canada, I went to Winnipeg.

第一次來加拿大，我去了溫尼伯。

It was a few years ago.

那是幾年前的事了。

Apparently Winnipeg is such a shitty city just by saying Winnipeg.

顯然，只要說溫尼伯，溫尼伯就是一座糟糕的城市。

I gotta laugh.

我不得不笑。

It's that bad.

就是這麼糟糕。

But I was there to do a stand up comedy show.

但我是去表演單口相聲的。

I was there for a job.

我去那裡是為了工作。

I need the money.

我需要錢

You know what I mean?

你明白我的意思嗎？

Like I went to Winnipeg and the border patrol officer, she stopped me.

就像我去溫尼伯，邊境巡警攔住了我。

She was like, very nice lady.

她人很好

She was like, are you here for business or pleasure?

她問，你是來出差還是旅遊的？

And I don't know why that question like made me panic.

我不知道為什麼這個問題會讓我驚慌失措。

I was like, oh I didn't get a business visa.

我當時想，哦，我沒拿到商務簽證。

What I'm like, oh, I, I am here for pleasure and she was like, are you sure?

我就說，哦，我是來找樂子的，她就說，你確定嗎？

I'm like, yeah.

我想，是的。

Yeah.

是啊

Yeah.

是啊

Yeah.

是啊

I'm definitely here in Winnipeg for pleasure.

我來溫尼伯絕對是為了遊玩。

And then she's like, nobody comes to Winnipeg for pleasure.

然後她就說，沒人會來溫尼伯尋歡作樂。

Oh my God.

我的天啊

Now I get it.

現在我明白了。

It's, it's that bad, it's that bad.

就是，就是這麼糟糕，就是這麼糟糕。

Canada.

加拿大

Everything is chill.

一切都很酷。

People are chill.

人們都很冷靜。

That's the stereotype.

這就是刻板印象。

People are nice, right?

人都是善良的，對嗎？

Nice people in Canada.

加拿大人很好

Do you guys agree with that?

你們同意嗎？

Yeah, I met some Canadian assholes.

是啊，我見過一些加拿大混蛋。

You know, you guys are just subtle about it.

你知道嗎，你們這幫人就是很含蓄。

You know what I mean?

你明白我的意思嗎？

Like you guys are like polite assholes.

就像你們這些彬彬有禮的混蛋一樣。

You guys are polite about your asshole Americans.

你們對自己的混蛋美國人還真客氣。

We let you know, we don't like you, you know, we're just like, ah, get out of my face.

我們讓你知道，我們不喜歡你，你知道，我們只是想，啊，滾出我的臉。

I don't like you Canadians.

我不喜歡你們加拿大人。

You guys love to agree to disagree.

你們就喜歡各執一詞。

You guys are like, oh, yeah.

你們會說，哦，是啊。

Yeah.

是啊

Yeah.

是啊

Is that right, buddy?

是這樣嗎，夥計？

Yeah.

是啊

Yeah.

是啊

But no, no, you're, that's wrong.

但是，不，不，你，這是錯的。

That's wrong.

這是不對的。

I'm gonna do one more for you guys.

我再為你們做一個。

Um, I got a girlfriend now.

我現在有女朋友了

She's amazing, you know.

她很了不起，你知道嗎？

Um, very happy about that, you know.

嗯，非常高興，你知道的。

Yeah, we're the same age, which is great.

是的，我們年齡相仿，這很好。

We're the same age.

我們是同齡人

It's great because we can communicate.

這很好，因為我們可以交流。

You know, we talk about the same things, we know the same things.

你知道，我們談論同樣的事情，我們知道同樣的事情。

Like I don't have to explain to her.

就像我不需要向她解釋一樣。

The rock used to be a wrestler.

岩石曾經是一名摔跤手。

That's great.

好極了

You need, you need to date someone the same age range because you just, you just speak the same language, you know, like, have you guys tried calling someone that's under the age of 30?

你需要和同年齡的人約會，因為你們有共同語言，你們試過給30歲以下的人打電話嗎？

They think it's like the creepiest thing on the planet.

他們認為這是地球上最恐怖的事情。

They are like, uh what's he doing calling me?

他們會問，他給我打電話幹什麼？

What is he?

他是什麼人？

Like my dad?

像我爸爸那樣？

Oh my God.

我的天啊

He left a voice mail.

他留下了語音郵件。

What a rapist.

真是個強姦犯

Oh my God.

我的天啊

You can't call people anymore, man.

你不能再給別人打電話了 夥計

You gotta text them cute little emojis.

你得給他們發短信，用可愛的小表情符號。

You know, because it's low stakes.

你知道，因為它的風險很低。

Look, I, I'm cool with emojis, especially when it first came out because it was just a bunch of cute yellow faces.

聽著，我對錶情符號沒什麼意見，尤其是在它剛問世的時候，因為它只是一堆可愛的黃色小臉。

OK.

好的。

I like that.

我喜歡這樣。

I felt represented, you know what I mean?

我覺得自己被代表了，你明白我的意思嗎？

That's how I like to see the world.

我喜歡這樣看世界。

But then Apple or some company decided to get all woke and shit and they updated the emoji ecosystem and now it's just like five shades of beige.

但後來，蘋果公司或其他公司決定清醒一下，更新了表情符號生態系統，現在它就像五種深淺不一的米色。

It is a cultural land mine.

這是一個文化地雷。

I don't know what to do with that.

我不知道該怎麼辦。

Like I was trying to text my black friend a thumbs up.

就像我想給我的黑人朋友發短信豎起大拇指一樣。

Was I supposed to ask him my thumbs up or his thumbs up?

我是該問他我的大拇指還是他的大拇指？

I never texted him back.

我從沒給他回過簡訊。

I just lost a black friend.

我剛剛失去了一位黑人朋友。

Thank you guys.

謝謝你們

You guys are great Montreal.

你們是蒙特利爾的好幫手。

Um.

嗯。