Name: 快逃啊！如果出現這些跡象，代表你的老闆正在「情感操縱」你！(Signs Of a Gaslighting Boss (Is Your Manager Gaslighting You?))
Uploaded: 2023-11-24T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 10 min 50 s

動名詞

Gaslighting is a manipulation of your reality.

煤氣燈效應（也稱情感操縱）是對現實的操縱。

頻率副詞

It's a subtle technique often employed slowly and artfully.

這是一種微妙的技巧，通常需要緩慢而巧妙地運用。

If you are constantly second guessing yourself while interacting with your boss.

如果你在與老闆互動時不斷懷疑自己。

If you constantly doubt and ask yourself, "Am I good enough?"

如果你經常懷疑並問自己「我夠格嗎？」

If any conversation with them leaves you feeling confused and insecure about what to do next.

如果與他們的任何談話都讓你感到困惑，不知道下一步該怎麼做。

Chances are that your boss is gaslighting you.

你的老闆很可能是在對你實施情感操縱。

Gaslighting at work happens when you work for a boss who is clearly toxic.

當你為一個明顯有毒的老闆工作時，工作中的煤氣燈效應就會發生。

A type of manager which doesn't want you to succeed.

These managers will do anything to prevent you from being successful at your job.

這些經理會想盡一切辦法阻止你在工作中取得成功。

Their goal is to control you to make you leave or even to get you fired.

他們的目的是控制你，讓你離開，甚至讓你被解僱。

這就是他們開始對你實施情感操縱的原因。

And after years of experience in corporate HR, I would like to share with you six signs to identify a gaslighting boss.

經過多年的企業人力資源經驗，我想與大家分享六個辨識煤氣燈老闆的跡象。

If you are not subscribed to my channel yet, then definitely hit the subscribe below and hit all the notification bell, so you won't miss out my weekly content.

如果您還沒有訂閱我的頻道，那麼一定要點擊下面的訂閱並點擊所有通知鈴聲，這樣您就不會錯過我每週的內容。

Also tap the like button if you are ready to proceed.

如果您準備好繼續，也請按讚。

Research shows that nearly 30% of bosses may be mildly or highly toxic.

研究表明，近 30% 的老闆可能具有輕度或高度毒性。

And those bosses that gaslight and manipulate are very toxic.

那些煽動和操縱的老闆是非常有毒的。

Gaslighting tactics are employed to confuse and to frustrate you,

煤氣燈效應是用來迷惑和挫敗你的，

to constantly make you feel on the edge of your seat, to damage your reputation and to discredit you in the eyes of your co-workers and other managers.

不斷讓您感到坐立不安，損害您的聲譽，並在同事和其他經理眼中抹黑您。

You will not be allowed to have any ideas, thoughts or actions different from theirs. If you do, you will be punished,

你不會被允許有任何與他們不同的想法、想法或行為。 如果你這樣做，你將受到懲罰，

through this constant psychological game which they employ to destroy your confidence and self-esteem.

他們利用這種持續不斷的心理遊戲來摧毀你的自信和自尊。

Here are the most frequent signs that your boss is gaslighting you.

以下是你的老闆正在對你實施情感操縱的最常見跡象。

The sign number one is whatever happens, it is always your fault.

第一個跡象是無論發生什麼，它總是你的錯。

This is one of the major reasons why gaslighting isn't easily detectable.

這是煤氣燈效應不易被發現的主要原因之一。

Your gaslighting manager is good at manipulation.

你的情感操縱經理很擅長操縱。

They will make you feel that everything is your fault.

他們會讓你覺得一切都是你的錯。

This is why gaslighting is underreported in the workplace because you become convinced that you don't do things well, that you are not good enough, that you might deserve this treatment you are getting, which couldn't be more wrong.

這就是為什麼工作場所的煤氣燈效應很少被通報的原因，因為你會認為自己做得不好，認為自己不夠好，認為自己應該受到這樣的待遇，而這是大錯特錯的。

Many times we hear people justifying their bad experience with statements like "all managers are hard to please," or "nobody likes their boss."

很多時候，我們聽到人們用「所有的經理都很難取悅」或「沒有人喜歡他們的老闆」之類的說法來為自己的糟糕經歷辯護。

But there is a big difference between a tough manager and a toxic gaslighter.

但強硬的管理者和有毒的情感操縱者之間有很大的區別。

Gaslighters will go out of their way to make you doubt yourself and your self-esteem.

情感操縱者會不遺餘力地讓你懷疑自己和你的自尊。

No matter what happens, they will bend reality to make their version of events the only true one.

無論發生什麼，他們都會扭曲現實，使他們的事件版本成為唯一真實的版本。

This is how they end up convincing you that you are wrong, that you are confused and misinformed and you don't know what you are talking about.

他們就是這樣最終讓你相信你錯了，你很困惑，被誤導了，你不知道自己在說什麼。

The next sign is when your boss uses phrases like, "don't take it so personally," or "don't be so sensitive," and similar.

下一個跡象是，當你的老闆使用諸如「不要這麼往心裡去」或「不要那麼敏感」之類的用詞時。

While "don't take it so personally" might sound innocent enough, it's a serious red flag phrase.

雖然「不要這麼往心裡」聽起來可能很天真，但這是一個嚴重的危險信號短語。

It's a classic phrase used by gaslighters to assert control and spread self-doubt.

這是情感縱者用來維護控制和傳播自我懷疑的經典用詞。

And while said to us, sometimes we might really feel guilty because we feel we have overreacted.

雖然對我們這麼說，但有時我們可能真的會感到內疚，因為我們覺得自己反應過度了。

When you react to something insulting or cruel that your boss said or done, they criticize you for taking things personally.

當你對老闆所說或所做的侮辱性或殘酷的事情做出反應時，他們會批評你把事情看成是針對你個人的。

This way, they don't have to take accountability for what they have done.

這樣，他們就不必為自己所做的事情負責。

The issue is that the more someone tells you that you are being over-sensitive, the more you start to think that they may have a point.

問題是，越有人告訴你你太敏感，你就越開始認為他們可能有道理。

And simultaneously, the more you start doubting yourself, and that of course, is exactly what the gas lighter wants.

同時，你越開始懷疑自己，當然，這正是這些情感操縱者想要的結果。

Regardless of how justified someone thinks your reaction is, it is your reaction.

不管別人認為你的反應有多合理，這就是你的反應。

It is not up to your boss or anyone else to tell you how you should feel or how legitimate those feelings are.

你的老闆或其他任何人都不能告訴你應該有什麼感受，或者這些感受有多合理。

Saying something offensive is never the right way to provide constructive feedback.

說一些冒犯的話從來都不是提供建設性回饋的正確方式。

What the gaslighter is doing in all these cases is invalidating your experience.

在所有這些情況下，情感操縱者所做的就是讓你的體驗變得無效。

And this way, you keep feeling insecure, you keep questioning your reality,

這樣，你就會一直感到不安全，你就會不斷質疑自己的現實，

and eventually, you will reach to a point where your self-confidence at work is completely destroyed and you no longer have or trust your criteria.

最終，你會達到一個地步，你的工作自信被徹底摧毀，你不再擁有或相信自己的標準。

The next sign is when they deny saying or doing something, which is clearly a lie and sometimes, you even have a proof of that.

下一個跡像是他們否認說過或做過某事，這顯然是謊言，有時，你甚至有證據證明這一點。

Since gaslighters want you to question your reality, you might hear this often.

由於情感操縱者希望你質疑自己的現實，因此你可能會經常聽到這句話。

And sometimes it will just drive you crazy because you clearly remember that conversation or you might even have an email where this was discussed and confirmed.

有時它會讓你發瘋，因為你清楚地記得那次談話，或者你甚至可能有一封電子郵件，其中討論並確認了這一點。

But they will tell you one thing and then they will deny it. That is their strategy.

但他們會告訴你一件事，然後他們就會否認。 這就是他們的策略。

Sometimes they will also withhold important information from you, so you wouldn't be able to complete your work the right way.

有時他們也會向您隱瞞重要訊息，因此您將無法以正確的方式完成工作。

Your boss tells you one thing on Monday and the exact opposite on Tuesday.

你的老闆週一告訴你一件事，週二則告訴你相反的事情。

And then you have no idea what you should believe.

然後你就不知道自己應該相信什麼了。

You simply don't know, and that's the point.

你根本不知道。這就是問題所在。

If you are confused, then you are easier for them to control.

如果你感到困惑，那麼你就更容易被他們控制。

All of this is being done to you to get you to the point where you don't know what to think.

他們對你做的這一切就是為了讓你不知所措。

And eventually, you might end up concluding, "Maybe he didn't even say it, then maybe I'm wrong."

最後你可能會得出「也許他根本沒說，那也許我錯了」的結論

Sign number four, when they compare you to other employees.

跡象四，當他們將你與其他員工進行比較時。

Gaslighters use the comparison as a wedge between people.

情感操縱者利用這種比較作為人與人之間的楔子。

"Why can't you produce it like David? He comes in at 8 a.m. every day. If he can do it, why can't you?"

「為什麼你不能像大衛那樣？他每天早上八點就來。如果他能做到，你為什麼不能呢？」

Or "Maria is doing such an excellent job. Why can't you be as good as Maria?"

或是「瑪麗亞做得非常出色。 為什麼你不能像瑪麗亞一樣優秀？」

Ok. One thing is putting someone as an example to encourage other employees in the workplace and to motivate them, but something completely different is when you are compared to someone to make you feel lesser.

以某人為榜樣來鼓勵工作場所的其他員工並激勵他們是一回事，但完全不同的是，當您與某人相比時，會讓您感到低人一等。

That's clearly gaslighting and gaslighters enjoy bringing you down.

這顯然是在對你情感操縱，而情感操縱者喜歡讓你失望。

They know that the comparison is the thief of joy and it will immediately lower your spirits.

他們知道比較是快樂的小偷，它會立即降低你的精神。

When you have areas that need improvement, normally your boss have a private conversation with you.

當你有需要改進的地方時，通常你的老闆會與你進行私人談話。

During this conversation, they either motivate you to go forward and give you helpful advice or if you have been given many chances before, then they just let you go.

在談話中，他們要麼激勵你前進，給你有用的建議，要麼如果你之前已經給過很多機會，那麼他們就會請你走。

But making you feel incompetent, making you feel not good enough by comparing you to other colleagues is never a solution.

但讓你覺得自己無能，透過與其他同事比較讓你感覺自己不夠好，從來都不是解決辦法。

So it's clearly being done with cruel intentions.

And the next sign is quite connected; when they play favorites.

而下一個跡象則與他們的偏愛有關。

Look out for those bosses which openly show favoritism to certain members of the team.

留意那些公開偏袒團隊某些成員的老闆。

And a lot of times these team members are not top performers at all.

而很多時候，這些團隊成員根本就不是表現最出色的人。

You know, my ex-boss, the one who inspired my Toxic Boss video series, he actually brought on board, one of his close friends to work with us and to report directly to him.

我的前老闆，也就是《有毒老闆》影片系列的靈感來源，他邀請了他的一位好友與我們一起工作，並直接向他報告。

And needless to say that this person was getting a completely different treatment from the rest.

不用說，這個人得到了與其他人完全不同的待遇，

Being promoted twice in a matter of just a couple of months.

在短短幾個月內就被升職了兩次。

Sometimes they would disappear together for lunch or they would hang out outside of work during work hours, which is clearly something that a professional manager never does.

有時他們會一起消失吃午飯，或者在工作時間在工作之外閒逛，這顯然是專業的管理者從來不會做的事情。

You might think how is favoritism related to gaslighting, it's closely related because no matter how much effort, no matter how many working hours and ideas you have put into your job, it won't be recognized at all.

你可能會想，偏袒和煤氣燈效應有什麼關係，它是密切相關的，因為無論你在工作中付出多少努力，無論你投入多少工作時間和想法，它都不會得到認可。

Instead, you will be made to feel inferior to this golden child or to this colleague in your boss's eyes.

相反，在老闆眼裡，你會覺得自己不如這個金童或這個同事。

And of course, you can't ever bring up anything related to favoritism.

當然，你也不能提起任何與偏袒有關的事情。

Your boss will simply make sure that you come across as someone insecure and resentful towards your colleague.

你的老闆只會讓人覺得你缺乏安全感，對同事心懷怨恨。

And the ultimate sign is when you are eventually scared of your boss.

而最後的跡象就是當你害怕你的老闆。

你永遠都不應該害怕你的老闆。

You should never be on the edge of your seat, wondering what are they going to do next.

你不應該坐立不安，不知道他們下一步會做什麼？

You should never be unable to communicate with your boss.

That's what they get paid for; to build a productive environment where everyone is comfortable to work at where you can voice a concern about work without worrying of being ridiculed or belittled in front of everyone.

這就是他們被付錢請來的原因； 建立一個高效的環境，讓每個人都能舒適地工作，在這裡你可以表達對工作的擔憂，而不必擔心在每個人面前被嘲笑或貶低。

If you are afraid of your boss, that's because they are gaslighters and of course, they clearly have no leadership skills.

如果你害怕你的老闆，那是因為他們是情感操縱者，當然，他們顯然沒有領導技能。

Some other ways of manipulation could also include spreading gossip about you to damage your reputation,

其他一些操縱方式還可能包括傳播有關您的八卦以損害您的聲譽，

changing project guidelines, adding extra work to increase your chances for a failure,

改變專案指導方針，增加額外的工作來增加失敗的機會，

invading your privacy, listening to your conversations, monitoring your location within the office and watching who you speak to.

侵犯您的隱私、監聽您的談話、監視您在辦公室內的位置以及監視您與誰交談。

They will also take credit for your work while telling you that they changed everything in your original idea, so it's no longer yours.

他們還會搶走你的功勞，時告訴你他們改變了你最初想法中的一切，所以它不再是你的了。

Sometimes they can openly criticize your original idea.

有時他們會公開批評你最初的想法。

They will tell you that it is never going to work and then suddenly, they would implement it as their own later on.

他們會告訴你這是行不通的，但後來又會突然把它當作自己的方法來實施。

If it does, then your boss is a toxic gaslighter and it's in your best interest keeping your communications straightforward.

如果是這樣，那麼你的老闆就是一個有毒的情感操縱者，保持溝通暢通符合你的最大利益。

Stick to emails where everything is clear and based on facts, only set boundaries and don't get dragged into any drama.

堅持使用一切都清晰且基於事實的電子郵件，只設定界限，不要被拖入任何戲劇性事件。

You need to start trusting your gut again.

你需要重新開始相信你的直覺。

Nobody knows better how you should feel or how you should act.

沒有人比你更清楚自己的感受和行為。

My personal advice would also be not confronting a gaslighting boss.

我個人的建議也是不要跟一個會情感操縱的老闆直球對決。

Although there are experts that recommend you doing so, from my personal experience, gaslighting bosses would never tolerate you confronting them.

儘管有專家建議你這麼做，但從我個人的經驗來看，這類老闆絕對不會容忍你與他們對抗。