"Do you want kids?"

"你想要孩子嗎？"

-A lot of people, their initial reaction is,

- 很多人他們的第一反應是

"Oh this is so different, it must be wrong."

"哦，這太不一樣了，一定是弄錯了。"

-"What if I'm not being the right dad?

- [父親]"如果我不是個稱職的父親呢？

"Or not being the right mom?"

"還是不適合當媽媽？"

Or "What if what I'm doing is really damaging them?"

或者 "如果我的所作所為真的對他們造成了傷害怎麼辦？

and some people can get really like, personally offended like, "how dare you do this?".

而有些人可能會非常生氣"你怎麼敢這麼做？"之類的話。 [輕鬆音樂] [心跳聲] [笑]

- I was very excited looking around our tiny apartment like, where are we gonna put a baby?

- 環顧我們的小公寓，我非常興奮比如，我們要把孩子放在哪裡？

-Keep trying.

- 繼續努力

-Baby crepe, un-crepe the baby.

- [父親]縐寶寶，解開寶寶的縐

- Whatcha eatin' Grey?

- 格雷，你在吃什麼？

I was so excited to parent, I've wanted to be a parent since I was 16 years old.

為人父母，我是如此激動、我從 16 歲起就想當父母。

It's one of the most challenging and also one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life.

這是最具挑戰性的也是最有價值的事情之一 我這輩子做過的事 [嬰兒咕咕] [輕鬆音樂]

What do you think, Kiddo?

你覺得呢，基德？

There you go.

這就對了。

- gotta get the booty in.

- [父親][咕嚕]得把戰利品放進去。

The question of, is this a boy is this a girl, as long as that's still an unknown, people act much more neutrally.

是男孩還是女孩？只要這還是個未知數、 人們的行為更加中立。

So, if we're raising Grey in a gender neutral slash gender creative way,

是以，如果我們在性別中立的環境中撫養格雷斜槓性別創意方式、

Grey can be who they want to be without the strictures that society puts on so many kids so early on.

格雷可以成為他們想成為的人沒有社會的束縛 讓這麼多孩子這麼早就受到影響。

-See all the birds? Look there's another one!

- 看到這些鳥了嗎？看還有一隻

- From the minute someone finds out a child's sex,

- 從發現孩子性別的那一刻起、

the tone of your voice, the way that you speak,

你說話的語氣和方式、

the way that you handle a child, changes in little ways that most people go,

你對待孩子的方式會改變在大多數人走過的小路上、

"oh it's not a big deal",

"哦，這沒什麼大不了的"、

but it can be because it builds up.

但也可能是因為它的積累。

- These unconscious biases that we hold around gender, they absolutely frame the paths that our children think that they can go down.

- 我們對性別持有的這些無意識偏見、他們絕對框定了道路 我們的孩子認為他們可以下去。

- The ones that are born with penises get much more rougher handled and peoples voices get lower and,

- 天生有陰莖的人處理得更加粗糙 人們的聲音越來越低

"oh you're a tough guy, buddy"

"哦，你是個硬漢，夥計"

and "hi princess", higher voices, softer tone.

和 "嗨，公主"，聲音更高，語調更柔和。

We really wanted to minimize that as much as humanly possible,

我們真的想盡量減少儘可能多、

because without those expectations kids are free to be whoever they want to be.

因為如果沒有這些期望孩子們可以自由地做他們想做的人。

We really wanted everyone to treat Grey thee way you would any other child, regardless of gender.

我們真的希望每個人都能善待格雷就像對待其他孩子一樣 不分性別。

I was born and raised in rural Wyoming.

我在懷俄明州農村出生長大。

I always knew I was different, I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

我一直知道自己與眾不同、我不知道那是什麼。

I think my mom wanted a very feminine, girly girl daughter.

我想我媽媽想要一個非常女性化的女孩女兒。

I wore a lot of pink dresses.

我穿過很多粉紅色的裙子。

I knew pretty immediately, something about this isn't right, but I just didn't know who was safe, what was safe.

我立刻意識到，事情有些不對勁、但我不知道誰是安全的，什麼是安全的。

On the inside I felt alone and isolated, and at times afraid,

在內心深處，我感到孤獨和寂寞、有時也會害怕、

and when things really became overwhelming and seemingly unapproachable,

當事情真的變得不堪重負時似乎難以接近、

I would turn to suicidal thoughts.

我會產生自殺的念頭。

But luckily, I had family and friends who were there for me.

但幸運的是，我有家人和朋友的陪伴。

I remember eating dinner, I remember looking at them going,

我記得吃晚飯的時候，我記得看著他們走、

"when am I gonna grow my penis?"

"我的小雞雞什麼時候才能長大？"

Both my parents were just kind of frozen and then they had to be like, "oh, you don't grow one."

我的父母都被凍僵了然後他們就會說 "哦，你沒長出來"

-The amazing Tiffany.

- 了不起的蒂芙尼

- "How do you know that you're queer?", like everybody questions it.

- "你怎麼知道自己是同志？"、就像每個人都會質疑一樣。

-All right just talk to me.

- 好吧，跟我說說吧

-It's so silly, 'cause if you flip it, you're like "how did you know you were straight?",

- [媽媽]這太傻了，因為如果你翻轉它，你就會像"你怎麼知道自己是直的？"

why would you ever ask that,

你為什麼要這麼問？

it's just like the assumption that you're straight, and so I struggled a lot with that.

就像假設你是異性戀一樣、是以，我為此掙扎了很久。

I think about all of the people that I know who are trans or non-binary who's experiences growing up were traumatic, and I think knowing that,

我想到我認識的所有人變性人或非二元人的成長經歷 我認為，知道這一點、

I want to be a parent who hopefully is creating space for my child to trust me,

我想成為一名家長，希望就是為孩子創造信任我的空間、

because I'm showing that I trust them.

因為我在表明我信任他們。[人群歡呼]

You ready?

準備好了嗎？

Sorry, excuse us.

對不起，我們失陪了。

-How old is she?

- 她多大了？

- They are 15 months old.

- 它們已經 15 個月大了。

We actually use they/them pronouns for Grey - Oh!

我們實際上使用他們/他們代詞為灰色 - 哦！

- until they tell us who they are that's why you were like "who? What?"

- 直到他們告訴我們他們是誰所以你才會問 "誰 什麼"

- Oh, wow.

- 哦，哇

All right so...

好吧...

- They. - They, awesome.

- 他們

Well enjoy the pride parade.

好好享受自豪遊行吧

- Did you say thank you? Thank you!

- 你說謝謝了嗎？謝謝你[歡快的音樂]

We are pulling apart this idea of sex, which is related to genitals,

我們正在撕裂這種性觀念、與生殖器有關、

and gender which is related to how you move in the world.

和性別，這與你在世界上的活動方式有關。

So what you wear,

那你穿什麼呢？

how you share your identity with other people,

如何與他人分享自己的身份、

all of those things are related to gender,

所有這些都與性別有關、

whereas sex is really biology, genitals, that's about it.

而性其實就是生物學、生殖器，僅此而已。

- I mean we're lucky, we have...

- 我是說我們很幸運，我們有...

We're in the best, we're probably in one of the best places we could be in, being in Brooklyn,

我們在最好的地方，我們可能在最好的地方之一我們可以在布魯克林、

to find some really good inclusive schools that are gonna respect what we're doin'.

找到一些真正好的全納學校他們會尊重我們的工作。

- Like regardless, people are gonna gender our kid.

- 就像無論如何，人們都會把我們的孩子性別化。

I know we're gonna have a conversation as they get a little bit older about like, what their genitals are expected to mean at some point and that will be related to why people will gender you in a certain way.

我知道我們要談談再大一點 他們的生殖器 預計在某一時刻，這將與 為什麼人們會以某種方式來看待你。

'Cause you don't want them to feel all that stigma and shame that you've...

因為你不想讓他們覺得所有的汙名和恥辱，你已經...

You're already feeling and filtering for them, but then the hard part is is they're engaging in the world.

你已經在為他們感受和過濾了、但最難的是，他們要融入這個世界。

- And this could just be me but it feels like a lot of people are quick to, they're like "oh yeah you're gonna mess up your kids",

- 可能只是我的錯覺，但我覺得很多人很快就會覺得 "哦，是的，你會把你的孩子弄得一團糟"、

and it's like, well... - So are you.

你也是。[笑聲]

- I mean, every parent has learned something from the parents before them.

- 我的意思是，每個父母都學到了一些東西從他們的父母那裡學來的。

I mean, when we were kids I don't remember wearing a seatbelt.

我是說，當我們還是孩子的時候我不記得系過安全帶。

Like ever.

喜歡過。[笑聲]

- Grey's gonna grow up and probably experience some shame and stigma around the way that we raised them, and that's okay,

- 格雷會長大，可能會經歷我們養育他們的方式讓他們感到羞恥和恥辱、 沒關係、

and we're gonna have to have conversations about that.

我們必須就此進行對話。

And also talk about why we made the decisions we made.

還要談談我們為什麼會做出這樣的決定。

- Who's the baby?

- 孩子是誰？

How old is he?

他多大了？

Or her?

還是她？

How old are they?

他們多大了？

- They're 20 months.

- 他們已經 20 個月了。

- 20? You have two of them?

- 20歲？你有兩個？

- No, so we use the singular they.

- 不，所以我們用單數 "他們"。

Like if we-- you know if you don't know if someone uses he or she, you say they.

就像如果我們--你知道，如果你不知道是否有人用 "他 "或 "她"，你說 "他們"。

- I don't think, I don't think you have to prepare them, I think they already are prepared at birth.

- 我不認為，我不認為你必須為他們做準備、我認為他們在出生時就已經做好了準備。

They ju-- this happens naturally.

他們自然會這樣做。

'Cause I think what you're doing is you're changing the pattern of life.

因為我認為你正在做的是你在改變生活模式。

Where I just allowed the child--

我只是讓孩子

I mean I have so many people, little girls that I thought were so feminine,

我的意思是，我有這麼多人，小女孩們我覺得她們很有女人味、

but they turned out to be very masculine.

但事實證明，它們非常男性化。

- That's basically what we're doing in a different way - and that's what you're doing you're doing it in a.. - everything is an option and they'll decide - well you're doing it, I didn't do it and let it become.

- 這基本上就是我們以不同的方式在做--這就是你在做的事 一切皆有可能 他們將決定 - 是你在做，我沒有做，讓它變成了。

- [Mother] They talked a more earlier.

- [母親]他們之前聊得更多

- Yeah, I think you're pretty snoozy, kid.

- 是啊，我覺得你很懶散，孩子。[爵士音樂]

- The cameras.

- 攝影機

Hey.

嘿。

Gender creative parenting is only this like tiny facet of what we're doing as parents.

性別創意育兒僅此而已就像我們作為父母所做的工作的一個小方面。

We're making hundreds of decisions every single day.

我們每天都要做出數百個決定。

- What books do you read your child, or what toys do you let them play with?

- 你給孩子讀什麼書？

or what toys do you let them play with?

或者你讓他們玩什麼玩具？

Did you do bottles, did you do formula,

你用過奶瓶嗎？

did you breastfeed, did you do both,

你是母乳餵養，還是兩者兼顧？

did you do this, did you do that?

你做了這個還是那個？

- Grey, come pick.

- 格雷，來挑吧。

- [Father] For me the hardest thing

- 對我來說，最困難的事情

is sometimes other parents

有時是其他父母

being really critical - What do you wanna wear?

你想穿什麼？

- We're not saying everyone has to do this,

- 我們並不是說每個人都必須這樣做、

we're not saying that this is for everyone,

我們並不是說這適合所有人、

but for us, this is one of those things of risk mitigation

但對我們來說，這是減少風險的措施之一

is what we're trying to accomplish.

這就是我們要實現的目標。

As long as they're happy,

只要他們開心就好、

that's really all that matters to us.

對我們來說，這才是最重要的。

- [Woman] Oh look who's up.

- 看看誰來了

- [Mother] You're in your birthday outfit!

- 你穿上生日服了

- Our families are really supportive

- 我們的家人非常支持我們

and they try really hard,

他們非常努力、

and sometimes they make mistakes.

有時他們也會犯錯。

At our daycare, they're trying.

在我們的託兒所，他們正在努力。

It's in our file that we use they/them pronouns.

在我們的文件中，我們使用他們/她們代詞。

- Really the goal here is,

- 真正的目標是

it's not about me trying to force anything on Grey,

這不是我想強迫格雷做什麼、

it's actually the exact opposite.

實際上恰恰相反。

And we don't know their gender yet,

我們還不知道他們的性別、

and when they tell us, they'll tell us.

當他們告訴我們時，他們會告訴我們。

And it might change over time and that's okay too.

它可能會隨著時間的推移而改變，這也沒關係。

♪ Happy birthday too you ♪

祝你生日快樂

♪ Happy birthday dear, Gray ♪

生日快樂，親愛的，灰色

♪ Happy birthday too you♪

祝你生日快樂

[group laughing and cheering]

[笑聲和歡呼聲]

[jazz music]

[爵士音樂]