Name: 養育不分性別的孩子 | 養育灰色寶寶 | 《紐約客》紀錄片 (Raising a Gender-Neutral Child | Raising Baby Grey | The New Yorker Documentary)
Uploaded: 2023-10-30T10:30:10.000Z
Duration: 9 min 9 s

-I think on our first date we talked about,

- [父親]我想在我們第一次約會的時候 我們談論過：

-A lot of people, their initial reaction is,

"Oh this is so different, it must be wrong."

"哦，這太不一樣了，一定是弄錯了。"

- [父親]"如果我不是個稱職的父親呢？

Or "What if what I'm doing is really damaging them?"

或者 "如果我的所作所為真的對他們造成了傷害怎麼辦？

and some people can get really like, personally offended like, "how dare you do this?".

而有些人可能會非常生氣"你怎麼敢這麼做？"之類的話。

- I was very excited looking around our tiny apartment like, where are we gonna put a baby?

- 環顧我們的小公寓，我非常興奮比如，我們要把孩子放在哪裡？ 

I was so excited to parent, I've wanted to be a parent since I was 16 years old.

為人父母，我是如此激動、我從 16 歲起就想當父母。 

It's one of the most challenging and also one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life.

這是最具挑戰性的也是最有價值的事情之一 我這輩子做過的事 [嬰兒咕咕] [輕鬆音樂] 

The question of, is this a boy is this a girl, as long as that's still an unknown, people act much more neutrally.

是男孩還是女孩？只要這還是個未知數、 人們的行為更加中立。 

So, if we're raising Grey in a gender neutral slash gender creative way,

是以，如果我們在性別中立/性別創意的環境中撫養格雷

Grey can be who they want to be without the strictures that society puts on so many kids so early on.

格雷可以成為他們想成為的人。社會的束縛讓這麼多孩子這麼早就受到影響

-See all the birds? Look there's another one!

- 看到這些鳥了嗎？看還有一隻

- From the minute someone finds out a child's sex,

- 從發現孩子性別的那一刻起、

the tone of your voice, the way that you speak,

the way that you handle a child, changes in little ways that most people go,

你對待孩子的方式會改變在大多數人走過的小路上、 

但因為它的積累，這可以是件大事。

- These unconscious biases that we hold around gender, they absolutely frame the paths that our children think that they can go down.

- 我們對性別持有的這些無意識偏見、他們絕對框定了道路 我們的孩子認為他們可以下去。 

- The ones that are born with penises get much more rougher handled and peoples voices get lower and,

- 天生有陰莖的人處理得更加粗糙 人們的聲音越來越低 

and "hi princess", higher voices, softer tone.

和 "嗨，公主"，聲音更高，語調更柔和。

We really wanted to minimize that as much as humanly possible,

我們真的想盡量減少儘可能多、 

because without those expectations kids are free to be whoever they want to be.

因為如果沒有這些期望孩子們可以自由地做他們想做的人。 

We really wanted everyone to treat Grey thee way you would any other child, regardless of gender.

我們真的希望每個人都能善待格雷就像對待其他孩子一樣 不分性別。 

I always knew I was different, I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

我一直知道自己與眾不同、我不知道那是什麼。 

I think my mom wanted a very feminine, girly girl daughter.

我想我媽媽想要一個非常女性化的女孩女兒。

I knew pretty immediately, something about this isn't right, but I just didn't know who was safe, what was safe.

我立刻意識到，事情有些不對勁、但我不知道誰是安全的，什麼是安全的。 

On the inside I felt alone and isolated, and at times afraid,

在內心深處，我感到孤獨和寂寞、有時也會害怕、 

and when things really became overwhelming and seemingly unapproachable,

當事情真的變得不堪重負時似乎難以接近、 

But luckily, I had family and friends who were there for me.

但幸運的是，我有家人和朋友的陪伴。

I remember eating dinner, I remember looking at them going,

我記得吃晚飯的時候，我記得看著他們走、

"我的小雞雞什麼時候才能長大？"

Both my parents were just kind of frozen and then they had to be like, "oh, you don't grow one."

我的父母都被凍僵了然後他們就會說 "哦，你沒長出來" 

- "How do you know that you're queer?", like everybody questions it.

- "你怎麼知道自己是同志？"、就像每個人都會質疑一樣。 

-It's so silly, 'cause if you flip it, you're like "how did you know you were straight?",

- [媽媽]這太傻了，因為如果你翻轉它，你就會像"你怎麼知道自己是直的？" 

it's just like the assumption that you're straight, and so I struggled a lot with that.

就像假設你是異性戀一樣、是以，我為此掙扎了很久。 

I think about all of the people that I know who are trans or non-binary who's experiences growing up were traumatic, and I think knowing that,

我想到我認識的所有人變性人或非二元人的成長經歷 我認為，知道這一點、 

I want to be a parent who hopefully is creating space for my child to trust me,

我想成為一名家長，希望就是為孩子創造信任我的空間、 

因為我在表明我信任他們。[人群歡呼] 

We actually use they/them pronouns for Grey - Oh!

我們實際上使用他們/他們代詞為灰色 - 哦！ 

- until they tell us who they are that's why you were like "who? What?"

- 直到他們告訴我們他們是誰所以你才會問 "誰 什麼" 

- 你說謝謝了嗎？謝謝你[歡快的音樂] 

We are pulling apart this idea of sex, which is related to genitals,

我們正在撕裂這種性觀念、與生殖器有關、 

and gender which is related to how you move in the world.

和性別，這與你在世界上的活動方式有關。

how you share your identity with other people,

all of those things are related to gender,

whereas sex is really biology, genitals, that's about it.

而性其實就是生物學、生殖器，僅此而已。 

- 我是說我們很幸運，我們有...

We're in the best, we're probably in one of the best places we could be in, being in Brooklyn,

我們在最好的地方，我們可能在最好的地方之一我們可以在布魯克林、 

to find some really good inclusive schools that are gonna respect what we're doin'.

找到一些真正好的全納學校他們會尊重我們的工作。 

- Like regardless, people are gonna gender our kid.

- 就像無論如何，人們都會把我們的孩子性別化。

I know we're gonna have a conversation as they get a little bit older about like, what their genitals are expected to mean at some point and that will be related to why people will gender you in a certain way.

我知道我們要談談再大一點 他們的生殖器 預計在某一時刻，這將與 為什麼人們會以某種方式來看待你。 

'Cause you don't want them to feel all that stigma and shame that you've...

因為你不想讓他們覺得所有的汙名和恥辱，你已經... 

You're already feeling and filtering for them, but then the hard part is is they're engaging in the world.

你已經在為他們感受和過濾了、但最難的是，他們要融入這個世界。 

- And this could just be me but it feels like a lot of people are quick to, they're like "oh yeah you're gonna mess up your kids",

- 可能只是我的錯覺，但我覺得很多人很快就會覺得 "哦，是的，你會把你的孩子弄得一團糟"、 

- I mean, every parent has learned something from the parents before them.

- 我的意思是，每個父母都學到了一些東西從他們的父母那裡學來的。 

I mean, when we were kids I don't remember wearing a seatbelt.

我是說，當我們還是孩子的時候我不記得系過安全帶。 

- Grey's gonna grow up and probably experience some shame and stigma around the way that we raised them, and that's okay,

- 格雷會長大，可能會經歷我們養育他們的方式讓他們感到羞恥和恥辱、 沒關係、 

and we're gonna have to have conversations about that.

And also talk about why we made the decisions we made.

還要談談我們為什麼會做出這樣的決定。

- 不，所以我們用單數 "他們"。

Like if we-- you know if you don't know if someone uses he or she, you say they.

就像如果我們--你知道，如果你不知道是否有人用 "他 "或 "她"，你說 "他們"。 

- I don't think, I don't think you have to prepare them, I think they already are prepared at birth.

- 我不認為，我不認為你必須為他們做準備、我認為他們在出生時就已經做好了準備。 

'Cause I think what you're doing is you're changing the pattern of life.

因為我認為你正在做的是你在改變生活模式。 

I mean I have so many people, little girls that I thought were so feminine,

我的意思是，我有這麼多人，小女孩們我覺得她們很有女人味、 

but they turned out to be very masculine.

但事實證明，它們非常男性化。

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養育不分性別的孩子 | 養育灰色寶寶 | 《紐約客》紀錄片 (Raising a Gender-Neutral Child | Raising Baby Grey | The New Yorker Documentary)

struggle

overwhelming

critical

pattern