And my wife is so much smarter than I am.

而我的妻子要比我聰明得多。

Like my wife is a financial advisor with two master's degrees.

比如我的妻子是一名財務顧問擁有兩個碩士學位。

I, on the other hand, once took a screenshot of my phone to show my friend the crack on it.

而我曾經給手機截圖傳給我朋友要他看我手機上的裂縫。

But after being married for a while, I'm still amazed at how husbands and wives can even live together.

但結婚一段時間後，我仍然驚訝於丈夫們和妻子們為什麼還能住在一起。

You know, because men and women are so different, aren't they?

你知道，因為男女如此不同，不是嗎？

Like one of the ways that men and women are so different is that women always complement each other.

比如其中一種男人和女人之所以如此不同的點是，女性總是會稱讚彼此。

You know, women will just go up to each other and say, "Becky, I love that blouse! Is it new?"

你知道，女性會互相說：「Becky，我喜歡那件上衣！ 是新買的嗎？」

You will never see two men have this conversation.

你永遠不會看到兩個男性進行這樣的對話。

You're not going to see this--

你不會看到這個 --

"Hey Bruce, your hair is absolutely stunning us."

「嘿，Bruce，你的頭髮真是驚豔我們。」

"And those shorts are adorable!"

「這條短褲很可愛！」

"The color of that shirt really makes your eyes pop."

「那件襯衫的顏色真的讓你的眼睛炯炯有神。」

"Now, why don't you tell Mountain Rice Paddy where you bought it?"

「現在，你為何不告訴 Mountain Rice Paddy 你在哪裡買的？」

You're not going to see that.

你不會看到這樣的對話。

Also, men and women have such different perspectives of what romance is.

此外，男性和女性對浪漫的定義有不一樣的看法。

Because like, I took my wife out for dinner, to date night, not too long ago.

因為不久前我跟我的妻子外出就餐，約會之夜。

And we sat down, and she looked right at me, and she goes, "Kyle, you really need to work on your romance."

我們坐了下來，她直直地看著我說：「Kyle，你在浪漫這方面需要多加把勁。」

And I'm over there going like, "Honey, what are you talking about?"

我就在那邊回說：「親愛的，你在說什麼？ 」

Because when she said that, it irritated me a little bit because I really do think that I'm romantic.

因為她說的時候這讓我有點惱火，因為我真的覺得我很浪漫。

And so it started this argument between us that got so loud that the manager at Taco Bell asked us to leave.

於是我們之間就開始了爭論，爭論的聲音非常大，以至於 Taco Bell 的經理要求我們離開。

And my wife is all into the five love languages.

而我的妻子很熱衷於愛的五種語言。

Are you guys familiar with the love languages?

你們知道愛語言嗎？

So she comes up to me and she goes,

於是，她走到我面前，然後說：

"Kyle, you know sometimes, you could just hold my hand because one of my love languages is physical touch."

「Kyle，你知道有時你可以就牽著我的手就好，因為我的愛的語言之一是身體接觸。」

So I did.

所以我照做了。

I go, "OK."

我說：「好喔。」

So I reached out to grab her hand, and she's like, "Not now!"

於是，我伸出手要去抓她的手，她就說：「現在不行！」

I'm like, "Not now? What, does your love language have a calendar I should know about?"

我說：「不是現在嗎？難道你的愛的語言還有排程的嗎？」

"Do I need to make an appointment with your love language?"

「我是否要跟你的愛的語言預約？」

Because she's always reminding me about what her love languages are.

因為她總是提醒我她的愛的語言是什麼。

You know, she's like, "Kyle, now remember, my love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation."

你知道，她說：「Kyle，現在記住了，我的愛的語言是身體接觸和言語上的肯定。」

So I gave her a high five and told her good game!

於是我和她擊掌並告訴她比賽很精彩！

Another big way that men and women are so different is that women are so observant, and we aren't at all.

男人和女人迥然不同 的地方是女人的觀察力太強了，而我們根本不是。

For example, one real stressful thing that women, that you do with your husbands, is come out and say, "So do you notice anything different?"

例如，女性對丈夫所做的一件很有壓力的事情就是換好衣服出來說：「你注意到什麼不同了？」

Because we don't.

因為我們沒有注意到。

We don't. We don't notice anything different.

我們沒有。我們沒有注意到有什麼不同。

In fact, you could come out wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a stormtrooper helmet, and we'd be just like, "So what's for dinner?"

事實上，你可以穿著只穿牛仔靴 和一個暴風頭盔，我們只會說：「晚餐吃什麼？」

Because my wife is so observant, the other day I was getting dressed, and I came out of the bedroom.

因為我妻子觀察入微，有一天，我正在穿衣服，我從臥室走了出來。

And she looked at me and she goes, "Kyle, you wore that shirt two Fridays ago."

她看著我說：「Kyle，你穿了那件襯衫兩個星期五之前。」

I was like, "Really?"

我當時想：「真的嗎？」

Because I didn't even know I had this shirt two Fridays ago.

因為我甚至不知道兩個星期五前我有這件襯衫。

And then she said, "And are you wearing those underwear again?"

然後她說：「你是又穿那條內褲了？」

I was like, "No.

我當時說：「不是。」

"I'm wearing them still."

「我一直都穿著呢。」

"What's the problem?"

「有什麼問題嗎？」