And sometimes it's tricky to choose what you ought.

有時，選擇是件難事。

So, if you are wondering what makes you ill, it's easy to know because…everything will.

但若想知道什麼東西對你有害，這倒簡單…因為所有東西都會。

A is for Alcohol - source of addiction, liver diseases, and other afflictions.

Ａ是酒精：讓你上癮、造成肝病及各種病痛。

So how about water? That might be okay.

那就喝水吧！水應該沒問題吧？

But if it's in plastic, there's B - B.P.A

但如果是瓶裝水，就會有 B：BPA 環境賀爾蒙。

C is for corn syrup, soda pop uses.

Ｃ：碳酸飲料裡的玉米糖漿

And also for Carbs, found in sugary juices.

也代表含糖果汁裡的碳水化合物。

D, dehydration.

Ｄ：脫水症狀

You still have to drink. Though all these beverages seem like they stink.

你還是得喝些什麼，就算上述飲品看似都很糟。

Eating too little or too much to count...

吃得太少或是暴飲暴食？

E is for eating imperfect amounts.

Ｅ：吃得過多或過少

And eating some things that you shouldn't consume.

以及，吃了不該吃的東西。

Cuz dozens of dishes will lead to your doom.

好多種食物都會讓你毀滅。

F is for fried food that's filled up with fat.

Ｆ：高油脂油炸食物

Glutens for G, if you buy into that.

Ｇ：麩質（如果你信那些人的話）

H is for hot dogs. Who knows how they're made.

Ｈ：熱狗，天知道熱狗是什麼做的？

I for insecticide, veggies are sprayed.

Ｉ：蔬菜上的農藥

J is for jerky with way too much salt.

Ｊ：加超多鹽的牛肉乾

And K is for kale, is also at fault.

Ｋ：甘藍菜，這種菜也有問題。

But isn't it healthy?

甘藍菜不是很健康嗎？

I'm glad that you asked. Cabbage and kale make thyroids too fast.

好問題！高麗菜和甘藍菜都會加速甲狀腺分泌。

Forget about eating. I'll just go outside.

別提吃的了，我要出去！

Well, that is where even more dangers can hide.

很好，外頭隱藏了更多致命危機。

L is for Lyme disease carried by ticks.

Ｌ：蝨子傳染的萊姆病

Malaria, M, that mosquitos inflict.

Ｍ：蚊子帶來的瘧疾

N, N-Diethyl-meta-toluamide.

Ｎ：二乙基間苯胺

It kills all the bugs and it kills your insides.

不僅能殺死害蟲，也能殺死你的細胞。

O is for oxygen-less recreation.

Ｏ：缺氧

P for pollution in each inhalation.

Ｐ：你吸進的每一口空氣汙染

Q is for quicksilver. Fishing is wrecked.

Ｑ：汞汙染，別想捕魚了！

R, deadly radon that's hard to detect.

Ｒ：致命放射素氡，很難被檢測出來。

S is for sunscreen but also the sun. Both give you cancer.

Ｓ是防曬乳，同時也是太陽，都會致癌。

Now, isn't that fun?

有趣吧？

T for tobacco. U, V for UV.

Ｔ 是香菸。Ｕ、Ｖ 是紫外線。

W, watching way too much TV.

Ｗ：電視看太多

X as expected is X hyphen ray.

X 就是 X 光，不意外。

Y is surprisingly Yerba Mate.

Ｙ是瑪黛茶，嚇到了吧？

Z is for zealotry in the insistence that you found the key to eternal existence.

Ｚ是狂熱的堅持，堅信自己能找到永生之鑰。

You can't avoid danger, just go on and try.

你永遠無法避開危險，放手試試吧！

No matter your actions, you're still gonna die.

不論你怎麼做，終得一死。

Hi, I'm Mike Trapp from College Humor.

嗨！我是 College Humor 的 Mike Trapp。

3 years ago, I had a happy normal life.

三年前，我人生既普通又快樂。

Now, look at me, I'm lurking at the end of YouTube videos, begging strangers for clicks.

現在看看我，在影片最後陰魂不散，跪求點閱。

Just one click, man. That's all I need.

老大，你就點一下吧！這是我唯一要求！

You can click over here to subscribe to the channel or click over here to watch another video.

點這裡訂閱頻道或點這裡看別部影片。

Come on, man. One click. That's all I need. Just give me a click!

拜託啦！高抬貴手點一下滑鼠！點一下就好！