Name: 前聯邦調查局特工教你如何每次談判都能如願以償！ (How To Get What You Want Every Time: ex FBI agent Chris Voss)
Uploaded: 2023-10-20T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 10 min 8 s

轉承詞

Imagine you're going to a very important party with your partner and you want to wear black shoes, but your partner wants you to wear brown shoes instead.

想象一下，你要和你的伴侶去參加一個非常重要的聚會，你想穿黑色的鞋子，但你的伴侶卻希望你穿棕色的鞋子。

在這種情況下，您會如何談判？

Many people believe that win-win or 50-50 is the best outcome in negotiation.

許多人認為在談判中實現雙贏或五五開是最好的結果。

If you also think so, then can you tell me what is the win-win in this example?

如果你也這麼認為，那麼你能告訴我，在這個例子中，什麼是雙贏嗎？

Are you going to wear one black shoe and one brown shoe?

你打算穿一隻黑色鞋和一隻棕色鞋嗎？

That is exactly how Chris Voss thinks he does not believe in win-wins.

這正是克里斯-沃斯的想法，他不相信雙贏。

Chris is the author of a New York Times best-selling book called Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depends On It.

克里斯是《紐約時報》暢銷書《永不妥協：如臨危之的談判》的作者。

Chris has worked for more than 20 years as a hostage negotiator at the FBI, dealing with kidnappers, bank robbers and extreme terrorists.

克里斯在聯邦調查局擔任人質談判專家已有 20 多年，曾與綁匪、銀行劫匪和極端恐怖分子打過交道。

He found out that the knowledge he has learned as a hostage negotiator is also applicable to a wide range of business and personal life situations.

他發現自己作為人質談判專家學到的知識也適用於各種商業和個人生活情況。

Since the fundamentals of human negotiations are essentially the same in any situation regardless of age, gender and ethnicity,

由於人類談判的基本原理在任何情況下都是基本相同的，不分年齡、性別和種族，

negotiation with a terrorist and negotiation with a businessman is based on the same principles.

與恐怖分子談判和與商人談判都基於相同的原則。

We negotiate every day, such as when you try to send the kids to bed early or when you convince a friend to go to a different restaurant.

我們每天都在談判，例如當你試著讓孩子早點上床睡覺，或是說服朋友去不同的餐廳吃飯。

And Chris says that negotiation is not about your way or my way.

克里斯說，談判不是非此即彼，而是我們的方式或我的方式。

Negotiation is about finding a third way that makes both sides happy.

談判就是要找到讓雙方都滿意的第三條路。

For example, let's say two of your kids are fighting over a chocolate and they cannot divide it.

比如說，你的兩個孩子為了一塊巧克力爭得不可開交。

It doesn't matter how you divide the chocolate, they are both unhappy and think that the other side got more.

不管你怎麼分巧克力，他們都不開心，認為對方得到的更多。

The third-way solution in this situation is to ask one kid to divide the chocolate equally and the other kid to pick first.

在這種情況下，第三種解決方法是讓一個孩子平分巧克力，另一個孩子先挑。

In this video, I will share with you the five lessons I learned from the book that will help you to become a better negotiator.

在本影片中，我將與您分享我從這本書中學到的五條經驗，它們將幫助您成為更好的談判者。

Every negotiation begins with the universally applicable law that people want to be understood and accepted.

每一次談判都始於人們希望被理解和接受的普遍適用的法則。

Listening is the cheapest yet most effective thing we can do to get there by listening intensely.

傾聽是最廉價卻最有效的方法，我們可以通過認真傾聽來達到目的。

By listening intensely, you demonstrate empathy and a sincere desire to understand what the other side is experiencing.

你表現出了同理心和理解對方經歷的真誠願望。

It sounds easy, but you cannot imagine how many people fail to listen.

這聽起來很容易，但你無法想象有多少人聽不進去。

When the other side starts talking instead of listening, they think about what they will say and when the other side stops , they give their pitch regardless of what the other side just said.

當對方開始說話而不是傾聽時，他們就會思考自己要說什麼，而當對方停下來時，他們就會不顧對方剛才說了什麼而發表自己的觀點。

And the other side starts saying to himself, "huh, they didn't even listen to a word I was saying."

另一方則開始自言自語：「我說的話他們根本聽不進去。」

Sometimes you talk to someone and you feel like you're talking about different topics.

有時候，你和別人哈拉，感覺你們在談論不同的話題。

People usually yell in negotiations because they feel that they have not been heard.

人們在談判中大喊大叫，通常是因為他們覺得自己的聲音沒有被聽到。

Everyone wants three things in negotiation.

每個人在談判中都希望得到三樣東西。

Number two, respected and only then get what they want from the negotiation.

第二，受到尊重，只有這樣才能從談判中得到他們想要的東西。

If you fail at listening, don't expect success from the negotiation.

如果傾聽失敗，就不要指望談判成功。

Lesson number two, negotiation is not a battle. It is a discovery.

課程第二，談判不是一場戰鬥，是一個發現。

People who view negotiation as a battle of arguments become overwhelmed by the voices in their heads.

將談判視為爭論的人，會被頭腦中的聲音所淹沒。

But the truth is negotiation isn't a battle.

但事實上，談判並不是一場戰鬥。

The objective is to uncover what the other side wants.

Is it money, time, respect, recognition, et cetera?

是金錢、時間、尊重、認可，等等嗎？

In order to do that, the author recommends several tactics.

When you smile at someone, it's like reaching out to their brain and switching on positivity light.

這就像觸及他們的大腦，打開積極的燈。

We are 31% smarter when we are in a positive state of mind, which also means if we are in a negative state of mind, it makes us 31% dumber.

當我們處於積極的心理狀態時，我們會聰明 31%，這也意味著，如果我們處於消極的心理狀態，就會讓我們變笨 31%。

Mirroring is simply repeating the last three or most critical words of what your opponent has just said.

鏡像就是簡單地重複對手剛剛說過的最後三個詞或最關鍵的詞。

"I have a very high expectation and want more money."

「我的期望值很高，想要更多的錢。』

你要回答：「你想要更多的錢。？」

鏡像最初給人的感覺非常奇怪。

But if you practice, it will work like magic.

但如果你多加練習，它就會像魔法一樣起作用。

Mirroring makes the other side vomit information.

It's much more powerful than saying, "What did you mean by that?"

這可比說 ：「你這話是什麼意思？」要有力得多。

When you say, "What did you mean by that?" You give your opponent a break to think and correct himself.

當你說：「你這麼說是什麼意思？」你讓對手有時間思考並糾正自己的錯誤。

On the other side, mirroring makes conversation run smoothly and makes the opponent reveal more information.

鏡像會讓對話順利進行，並讓對方在你鏡像後透露更多資訊。

After you have mirrored, stay silent for at least four seconds and let the mirroring do its magic.

鏡像之後，保持至少四秒鐘的沉默，讓發揮它的魔力。

Tactical empathy is understanding the feelings and mindset of the other person and hearing what is behind those feelings,

戰術同理心是理解他人的感受和心態，並傾聽這些感受背後的意義，

especially focusing on identifying the emotional obstacles that are standing in the way of agreement.

尤其要關注識別阻礙達成協議的情感障礙。

Once you have identified the emotion, then label it.

Labeling simply means you summarize what your opponent just told you and give it back to him.

貼標籤簡單地說，就是把對手剛剛告訴你的內容總結出來，再還給他。

Labels always start with, "It seems like," "It sounds like."

標籤總是以 「聽起來好像是」為開頭。

For example, you see that your opponent talks very passionately about his students.

比如，你看到對手非常熱情地談論他的學生，

In order to label it, you simply say it seems like you care a lot about your students, then stay silent and let the label do its magic.

為了給他貼上標籤，你只需說「看起來你非常關心你的學生」，然後保持沉默，讓標籤發揮它的魔力。

First, it helps you to confirm that you have identified the right emotion.

首先，它可以幫助你確認你已經找到了正確的情緒。

Second, it signals to your opponent that you truly understand him, which creates a stronger bond and makes your opponent like you.

其次，它向你的對手發出信號，表明你真正理解他，從而建立更牢固的紐帶，讓對方喜歡你，

If a person likes you, it is six times more likely that you will have a deal.

如果一個人喜歡你，你們達成交易的可能性就會提高六倍。

同理心將兩個大腦結合在一起。

The moment you feel empathy and see that there is something that makes you collaborate with me, then your brain power and my brain power get together to solve the problem.

當你產生共鳴，看到有什麼東西能讓你與我合作時，你的腦力和我的腦力就會一起解決問題。

Another tactical empathy method is called diffusing negatives with labels.

另一種策略性的移情方法叫做用標籤擴散否定詞。

This is especially effective if you know that your opponent is angry and has bad feelings against you.

如果你知道你的對手很生氣並且對你有不好的感覺，這尤其有效。

Before you go to the meeting, sit down and think about all the negative things that your opponent might say against you during the meeting or negotiation.

在你去參加會議之前，坐下來想想你的對手在會議或談判期間可能對你說的所有負面言論。

After you have identified all the negative feelings, then label them.

辨識出所有負面情緒後，請給它們貼上標籤。

For example, let's say, you know that your client is very unhappy because your company missed the deadline and didn't deliver what was promised.

例如，根據這些數據，您知道客戶非常不滿意，因為您的公司錯過了最後期限，沒有兌現承諾。

Based on this data, you know that your client thinks that you are unreliable and unable to keep promises.

你知道客戶認為你不可靠，不能信守承諾。

So as soon as you start the meeting, you can diffuse the negative by saying,

所以會議一開始，你就可以化解負面情緒，說

"It might seem like we're screwing you and we're not capable of keeping our promises and delivering what was agreed upon.

「這可能看起來像是我們在坑你，我們沒有能力信守承諾，兌現約定。

And because of this, you might even consider not doing business with us anymore, and you are absolutely right to think in this way."

正因為如此，你甚至會考慮不再與我們合作，你這樣想是完全正確的。」

The moment you say this, your opponent thinks, "Huh, he thinks like I do. I kind of like him."

你這麼一說，對方就會想：「啊？他的想法和我一樣。 我有點喜歡他。」

If you did not diffuse the negative, your opponent would spend hours explaining how bad he feels.

如果你不化解負面情緒，你的對手會花幾個小時來解釋他的感受有多糟糕。

But now that you have diffused all the negatives, your opponent will be more focused on the solution rather than complaining.

但現在你已經消除了所有的負面影響，你的對手將更加專注於解決方案而不是抱怨。

Negative emotions and fear of losing affect our brain three times stronger than positive emotions.

負面情緒和害怕失去對我們大腦的影響是正面情緒的三倍。

So help your opponent to get rid of the negative feelings, then you will have much better results.

所以幫助你的對手擺脫負面情緒，你就會取得更好的效果。

Pushing hard for a yes doesn't get you any closer to a victory.

努力爭取「是」並不會讓你更接近勝利。

Contrary to popular belief, no, is the start of the negotiation, not the end of it.

與普遍的看法相反，「不」是談判的開始，而不是結束。

When you say yes to something, you feel committed or trapped.

當你對某件事情說「是 」的時候，你就會覺得自己被承諾或被困住了。

For example, if I come to you and say, "Can we talk for five minutes?"

例如，如果我對你說：「我們能談五分鐘嗎？」

After you say yes, automatically, your brain starts saying,

在你答應之後，你的大腦就會開始想：

"How long is five minutes actually gonna be? Am I gonna be stuck with her for one hour and go home late  Is she gonna sell me her stupid idea again??

「五分鐘到底有多長？我會和她待一個小時然後很晚回家嗎？她會再次向我推銷她的愚蠢想法嗎？

All those distractions in your mind stop you from focusing on the negotiation.

你心中的所有雜念都會阻止你專注於談判。

You just want to get out of there as soon as possible.

In comparison to pushing you for yes, if I came to you and said, "Is it a bad time to talk for five minutes?"

與催促你同意相比，如果我來找你說：「現在談五分鐘是不是不太方便？」

You'd probably say, "No, it's not. But let me finish Xy and Z and meet you in 15 minutes at my desk."

你可能會說：「不，不會。但讓我完成 Xy 和 Z，15 分鐘後在我的辦公桌前見你。」

Since you started with no, you feel safe because you didn't commit to anything.

因為你一開始就說 「不」，你覺得很安全，因為你沒有承諾任何事情。

Plus, saying no gives control to you. It was you who said let's meet in 15 minutes.

另外，說 「不」會讓你擁有控制權。是你說讓我們 15 分鐘後見面的。

When you feel in control, it makes you think quicker, faster and helps you to focus on implementation without any distractions.

當你感覺自己能掌控一切時，這會讓你思維更敏捷，速度更快，並幫助你心無旁騖地專注於執行工作。

Also, after you said no, you answered two to three upcoming questions by yourself.

另外，在你說「不」之後，你自己又回答了 2 到 3 個接下來的問題。

I did not have to ask you where to meet, when to meet.