You're talking to someone, and maybe for whatever reason, you'd like to explore; you want to talk to another person.

你正在和某人交談，也許出於某種原因，你想要探索，你想和另一個人談話。

The worst thing that you could do in that situation is start to scan the room 'cause you're not making that interaction interesting and fun.

在這種情況下，最糟糕的事情就是開始掃視房間，因為這樣你就不會使這種互動變得有趣和有趣。

It is incredibly hard to get other people to join you when you don't look engaged yourself.

當你自己看起來不投入時，要讓其他人加入你變得非常困難。

When you're in (a) conversation, be in it.

當你在對話中時，要全身心參與其中。

The most interesting point in the whole room is right in between you two.

整個房間中最有趣的地方就在你們兩人之間。

(The) second thing also has to do with attention, and it's to not let someone interrupt you while someone else is talking to you.

第二件事也與注意力有關，那就是不要讓某人在別人與你交談時打斷你。

I did this; I was on the flip side of this.

我曾經這樣做過；我是打斷別人的人。

I came in to talk to one friend, and he just ignored me.

我找一位朋友聊天，他直接無視我。

At first, I was a little bit miffed.

起初，我有點惱火。

I thought, "What is he doing?"

我心想：「他在幹什麼？」

And a minute or two later, he said, "Hey, sorry, you had said something. What was that?"

一兩分鐘後他說：「嘿，對不起，你剛剛跟我說話，你說了什麼？」

And then he put his attention completely on me.

然後，他把注意力完全放在了我身上。

I respected him in that moment, even that I didn't totally like it. The fact that he was so centered as to focus on where he was was worthwhile.

在那一刻，我很尊重他，即使我不完全喜歡那樣。他如此專注於自己所處的地方是值得的。

Of course, there are times where you don't want to do this.

當然，有時你也不想這樣做。

If you're in a big group conversation flows freely, you don't have to ignore everybody else.

如果你在一個大團體中聊天，對話可以自由流暢，你不必忽略其他人。

One other time you don't want to do this is when you're in a group of people, and someone new enters.

另一個你不想這樣做的時候是當你在一群人中，有人新加入。

It's actually good to pause the conversation, be the one that incorporates them, and then get things back on track.

實際上，暫停對話，成為那個將他們納入對話的人，然後讓事情回歸正軌是很好的。

(The) third thing, trapping, is the idea that you could be somewhere; maybe you're on a booth, maybe someone is against a wall.

第三點，壁咚，這個行為可能發生在某個地方；也許你坐在一張長凳上，也許有人靠牆。

If you don't know them, and you kind of close them in, it feels very uncomfortable.

如果你不認識他們，並且你對他們壁咚，這會讓人感到非常不舒服。

The flip side of this, though, if you're out at a bar, lean against the bar when you're talking to someone,

不過，與此相反，如果你在酒吧，當你和某人交談時可以靠著吧台，

it makes that person feel at ease, and it makes everyone else in the room think those people probably know each other fairly well.

這會讓對方感到放鬆，也會讓房間裡的其他人認為這些人可能相互相識相當好。

If that other person wanders off, that's someone that I can comfortably talk to.

如果那個人走開了，那麼我就可以舒適地與他們交談。

This takes us to the fourth thing.

這將我們帶到第四點。

When you communicate shame, it's generally not a powerful thing, especially if what you did was not a big deal.

當你傳達羞愧時，通常它不是一件強大的事情，尤其是如果你所做的不是一件大事的話。

This actually happened to my brother.

我哥哥就遇到過這種情況。

It's something that happens all the time.

這是經常發生的事情。

People got our names mixed up.

人們把我們的名字搞混。

This person called him by my name and afterwards, he went "Oh, sorry, sorry."

這個人叫了他的名字，之後就説：「對不起，真對不起。」

The weird thing is, literally today, someone else did the same thing but went, "Oh no, you're Henry, you're Charlie, sorry."

奇怪的是，今天有人也做了同樣的事，但卻說：「哦不對，你是亨利，你是查理，抱歉。」

But it was this sense that nothing had happened that was wrong.

但是這種感覺是，沒有發生什麼錯誤的事情。

So if you've made a mistake, particularly a social one that wasn't on purpose, do not hang your head.

因此，如果你犯了一個錯誤，特別是一個不是故意的社交錯誤，不要低頭。

That's just gonna communicate that this mistake is more grievous than it actually is.

那只會傳達這個錯誤比實際情況更嚴重。

The last thing that we're gonna be touching on -- the eyebrow flash.

我們要談論的最後一件事是挑眉。

And what it means is that you generally know this person and like this person.

它的意思是你通常認識這個人，並且喜歡這個人。

Say you're seeing a friend that you know, "Hey, what's going on?" and those eyebrows lift.

比如，你見到一個你認識的朋友，問他：「嘿，你好嗎？」然後挑眉。

If you try to do this, like I have been for the last 30 minutes in the mirror, you're gonna be a weirdo.

如果你試著這麼做，就像我在鏡子前做了30分鐘一樣，你會變成一個怪胎。

I cannot recommend putting this one on purposely.

我不建議故意這樣做。

So don't.

不要。