Everybody loves to brag about how much they have, how much money they make.

每個人都喜歡吹噓自己有多少錢，賺了多少錢。

We all brag, we are guilty of this.

我們都會吹牛，我們都會犯這樣的錯誤。

We all just do it in subtle different ways.

只是我們的方式微妙地不同而已。

Like white people, for example, white people never brag about how much money they got.

比如白人，白人從不炫耀自己有多少錢。

They always just brag about how expensive their life is.

他們總是炫耀自己的生活有多昂貴，

Like, "Oh, Joey just started private school. It's so expensive."

比如說「Joey 剛上私立學校，好貴喔。」

"And our remodel is totally going over budget."

「我們房子的改建工程完全超出了預算。」

"Oh, and you wouldn't believe how much money we spent going to Fiji.

「哦，你肯定想不到我們去斐濟花了多少錢。」

I'm like, "OK, Katie, I see your life. OK?"

我心想：「好喔，Katie，我明白你的生活。」

"It's luxurious, good for you. OK?"

「非常奢華，你很棒。」

Black people on the other hand, a lot more straightforward.

而黑人則更直接。

Black people just tell you exactly how much money they spent on something.

黑人只會告訴你他們在某件事上花了多少錢。

It's great.

這很棒。

You guys see it, like my black friends or even like rappers, right?

你們都知道，像是我的黑人朋友或甚至是饒舌歌手，

They love to brag.

它們喜歡吹牛。

They're like, "This car, 80,000; my mama's house, 500,000; this chain, a million dollars, man."

他們會說：「這輛車 8 萬美金、我媽媽的房子 50 萬美金、這條鏈子 100 萬美金。」

I'm like, "OK, you clearly don't have your priorities straight, but I appreciate the honesty."

我心想：「顯然你的優先順序不太對，但我還是很感謝你的誠實。」

People love to brag about how much money they spend;

人們喜歡炫耀自己花了多少錢，

Asian people, on the other hand, we do the exact opposite.

而亞洲人卻恰恰相反。

We love to brag about how little money we spent on something because the art is in the savings.

我們喜歡炫耀我們在某些方面花了很少的錢，因為藝術就在節約中。

You never pay full price.

你從不付原價。

Like my mom, her catchphrase is "Guess how much?"

就像我媽媽，她的口頭禪是「猜猜多少錢？」

You guys don't play "Guess how much"?

你們沒有玩過「猜猜多少錢？」的遊戲嗎？

My mom would come home with some new, like a watch.

我媽媽會帶新東西回家，比如手錶。

She'll be like, "Jimmy. Jimmy, guess how much? Guess how much?"

她會說：「Jimmy，猜猜多少錢？」

I'm like, "Mom, I don't know. It's a very nice watch, like $5000?"

我說：「媽，我不知道。這是個不錯的手錶，我猜 5000 美金？」

And she was like, " No, it's $200."

然後她說：「不是，是 200 美金。」

"Jimny, my house, my house, this house, guess how much? Guess how much?"

「Jimny，我的房子，這房子，你猜多少錢？」

I'm like, "Mom, I don't know. You live in a very nice house, like a million dollars?"

我說：「媽，我不知道。你住在很好的房子裡，我猜一百萬美金？」

She was like, "No, it's half off. Someone died in it."

她說：「不對，半價。有人死在裡面。」

And if you know the rules of the game, you always guess high.

如果你瞭解遊戲規則，你就知道一定要猜高價格。

So you make the other person feel good about their purchases.

這樣，你就能讓對方對自己的購物感覺良好。

Never guess too low.

不要猜太低。

Never guess too low; that's the ultimate insult to an Asian person. Ok?

不要猜太低，猜太低是對亞洲人的終極侮辱。

One time my mom came home with some new shoes, I guessed too low.

有一次，我媽媽帶了一雙新鞋回來，我猜太低了。

I've never seen her so disappointed in me.

我從未見過她對我如此失望。

She was like, "Jimmy, Jimmy, guess how much? Guess how much?"

她說：「Jimmy，猜猜多少錢？」

I'm like, "Mom, I don't know. Very nice shoes. Like $200?"

我說：「媽，我不知道。非常漂亮的鞋子。我猜 200 美金？」

She was like, "Oh!"

她說：「拜託！」

"Do you even know about shoes?"

「你懂不懂鞋啊？」

"These are $500 Jimmy Choos. OK?"

「這雙是 500 美金的 Jimmy Choo。」

"Better Jimmy than you."

「比你還優秀的 Jimmy。」

That's how we brag, people.

各位，這就是我們吹噓的方式。