to the shouting on the interwebs, then it’s simultaneously too old, too new, too easy

到網絡上的喊話，那麼它同時也是太老、太新、太容易了。

to break, too slow, too confusing, too predictable, too melodramatic, and don’t get me started

太慢了，太混亂了，太容易預測了，太戲劇化了，別讓我開始了

on the blame heaped upon it for that whole “Compilation of Final Fantasy VII” nonsense.

在因《最終幻想七號彙編》那一派胡言而受到責難的時候。

I can’t really understand it. This game, which is apparently the worst thing ever,

我真的無法理解。這款遊戲，顯然是史上最差的東西。

still feels like the best thing ever. So much so that, with the mere whiff of a tech demo

依然讓人覺得是最好的東西。以至於，僅憑著技術演示的氣味

re-creating the game’s iconic opening cinematic, the same internet that derided it so bent

重現遊戲標誌性的開場動畫，也是被網友貶低得一塌糊塗。

itself into knots demanding a high-def remake. Instead, you get this, a moderately optimized

自己打成結，要求高清重拍。相反，你會得到這個，一個適度優化的。

version of the PC port from 1998. And you can log into it via Facebook, for reasons

1998年的PC移植版。而且你可以通過Facebook登錄它，原因是什麼？

beyond my ken. That’s the kind of game this has become.

超出我的能力。這就是遊戲的類型，這已經成為。

Let’s be frank: FFVII was a very, very buggy game. Even though some parts of the translation

坦白說吧。FFVII是一個非常非常錯誤的遊戲。即使有些地方的翻譯

are fixed, many - like this classic line from the first boss fight - remain incorrect. The

是固定的，很多--比如第一場boss戰中的這句經典臺詞--仍然不正確。的

character behavior is still as weird as it ever was. And, in perhaps the greatest transgression

人物行為還是那麼怪異。而且，也許是最大的越軌行為

against the original text... mouths. Weird, blow-up-doll mouths on most of the supporting

對照原文... 嘴。怪異的，吹起來的娃娃嘴在大多數的支持。

cast and NPC figures. What you do get with the PC version, though, is 150 save slots,

演員和NPC人物。不過PC版得到的是150個保存槽。

cloud saves in case you need to continue on a different computer, and - perhaps the most

雲端保存，以防您需要在不同的計算機上繼續工作，而且--也許是最重要的。

ridiculous of all - a button in the web interface that sets your party’s HP and MP to max

最可笑的是--在網頁界面上有一個按鈕，可以將你的黨派的HP和MP設置為最大。

and hands you 50 million gil. I can’t make this up. I get that there are those who are

並遞給你5000萬吉爾。我不能編造這個。我知道有些人

so afraid of grinding that they’d avail themselves of this feature immediately, but

害怕磨合，所以他們會馬上利用這個功能，但。

the fact of the matter is it actually slows the game down. You blow up your max HP on

事實上，這實際上是拖慢了遊戲的速度。你把你的最大HP炸燬在

the first disc, and you will not use a limit break. Ever. I’ve done the math, right there.

第一張光盤，你不會使用極限休息。永遠不會我已經算過了，就在那裡。

Your limit gauge will fill at about a 25th of the rate it would if you’d just played

你的極限值會以25％的速度填滿，如果你只是打

by the rules. Did I mention that of the 36 achievements, 18 of them are limit-break related?

由規則。我有沒有說過，在36個成就中，有18個成就與破限有關？

How about a bit more diversity? Like actually doing that miserable tower-defense battle

多樣化一點呢？比如說真正的做那個悲催的塔防戰

on Fort Condor, or completing an Enemy Skill materia. Call it “Honorary Blue Mage.”

在康德堡上，或完成敵方技能母體。稱之為 "榮譽藍法師"。

Quina would be so proud.

奎娜會很驕傲的。

I realize that, by this point, everyone who’s wanted to play Final Fantasy VII has probably

我意識到，到此為止，每個想玩《最終幻想七》的人可能都已經

done so. And they can say what they want, but even with a strangely-applied coat of

這樣做了。他們可以說他們想說的，但即使是用奇怪的塗鴉

paint and a huge disconnect between the new, high-res polygons and the old, standard-definition

顏料和新的高分辨率多邊形與舊的標準清晰度之間的巨大脫節。

pre-rendered backgrounds, and despite an inane system of achievements and fully-legalized

預先渲染的背景，儘管有無厘頭的成就係統和完全合法化的。

cheating... to say nothing of the weird cropping issues and strange musical changes... regardless,

作弊... 更不用說奇怪的裁剪問題和奇怪的音樂變化了... 不管怎麼樣。

it’s still one of the greatest games ever made. Possibly the most powerful first three

它仍然是有史以來最偉大的遊戲之一。可能是最強大的前三

hours of a game ever crafted. This isn’t a relic of a former era, it’s the living

小時的遊戲史上。這不是前世的遺蹟，而是活生生的。

moment where games learned cinematography, made available to you again in case you don’t

瞬間，遊戲學會了電影攝影，讓你再次獲得，以防你不

have a PS3 or the thirty-to-sixty-some dollars for your own copy. I’ll spare you my dissertation

有一個PS3或三十到六十多美元 你自己的副本。我就不說我的論文了

on Final Fantasy VII as a filmic text... for now.

暫時把《最終幻想七》作為一部電影的文本