Quick, what to do? Okay okay.

快，該怎麼做？

Deep breathe first.

先深呼吸。

Talking to your crush can be a very nerve-wracking experience.

與你的暗戀對象交談可以是一個非常令人傷腦筋的事情。

The thought of saying something wrong is always in the back of your head, but it doesn't have to be.

說錯話的想法總是在你的腦海裡盤旋，但這是不必要的。

Some things that you say can actually increase their attraction towards you.

你說的一些事情實際上可以增加他們對你的注意力。

If you're not sure what those things are, here are five things to say to your crush.

如果你不確定是哪些事情，有五件事情可以對你的暗戀對象說。

One, crack a joke.

一、開個玩笑。

Knock. Knock.

叮咚叮咚。

Who's there?

誰在敲門？

Wendy.

溫蒂。

Wendy, who?

溫蒂？溫蒂誰呀？

Wendy you think we can go on a date?

你覺得我們能約會嗎？（Wendy 在英文中發音類似於 when do）

A bit too cheesy?

有點太油嗎？

Well, the good news is even simple jokes can do the trick, a most trusted icebreaker, so to speak.

好消息是，即使是簡單的笑話也能起到作用。可以說，這是一個最值得信賴的破冰者。

A 2015 research article published in Evolutionary Psychology found that humor points to having a sociable and agreeable personality.

一篇 2015 年發表在《進化心理學》的研究文章發現，幽默感表明一個人擁有社交和友好的個性。

The study also found that when a pair laughed together, they were more interested in each other.

該研究還發現，當兩個人一起笑的時候，他們對彼此更感興趣。

But why is that?

但這是為什麼呢？

Humor eases the situation.

幽默可以緩和局勢。

It makes you seem more open and likable.

它使你看起來更加開放和討人喜歡。

This trick is also backed by science.

這一招也是有科學依據的。

Laughing releases endorphins which make you feel good about yourself and others.

笑能釋放腦內啡，使你對自己和他人的感覺良好。

On top of that, your crush could follow up with their own joke,

接著，你的暗戀對象可以用他們自己的笑話來接力。

and if you laugh at it, you get bonus points.

而且如果你跟著笑了，也會有加分效果。

People tend to like others who laugh at their jokes.

人們往往喜歡那些會對自己的笑話發笑的人。

Even if it doesn't work, it does show others your fun, loving and brave side.

即使笑話沒有用，它確實向別人展示了你有趣、有愛和勇敢的一面。

So don't be nervous to drop a joke here or there.

所以別擔心太多，適時地開個玩笑。

Number two, remember to say thank you.

第二，記得說謝謝。

Saying thank you is not only a sign of good manners, it's also a simple way to tell someone I appreciate you.

說 "謝謝 "不僅是一種良好禮儀的表現，這也是告訴別人我欣賞你的一個簡單方法。

As Antonio Damasia, a professor of psychology and neurology put it,

正如心理學和神經學教授 Antonio Damasia 所說：

"Gratitude rewards generosity and maintains the cycle of healthy social behavior."

「感恩能對慷慨回報並保持健康的社交行為的循環。」

Showing gratitude makes people feel respected and happy and it lets them know you recognize their efforts.

表達感激之情使人感到被尊重和快樂並讓他們知道你認可他們的努力。

If you are hanging out with your crush, tell them, "Thank you for such a good time!"

如果你和你的暗戀對象在一起，告訴他們，"謝謝你，今天很開心！"

Or if there's a good friend who never fails to listen, tell them, "Thank you for always being there for me!"

或者如果有個總是傾聽你的好朋友，可以告訴他們：「謝謝你總是在我需要的時候陪在我身邊！」

This simple but powerful phrase could create a long lasting bond between you two.

這句簡單而有力的話可以在你們兩個人之間創造一個長期的連結。

Three, share a little secret.

三、分享一個小祕密。

It is no secret that everyone can have a secret.

每個人都可以有一個祕密，這已經不是什麼祕密了。

Some are small, like that embarrassing thing you did in middle school,

有些是小事，比如那個國中時期做的蠢事

and some are bigger, like the drama that goes on in the family.

有些是更大的，像是家庭中發生的事情。

Yeah, you could be someone who likes to keep them to yourself, and that's okay.

沒關係，你也可以自己藏在心中不說。

Sometimes sharing some of your little secrets with your crush could make them like you a bit more.

有時和暗戀對象分享一些你的小祕密，可以讓他們更喜歡你一些。

Sharing a secret with someone creates a bond between you,

與人分享祕密會在你們之間建立起一種聯繫，

and it takes your relationship to the next level, making it more special and intimate.

並將你們的關係提升到新的水準。使其更加特別和親密。

This is something that's been known to researchers for decades.

這是研究人員數十年來都知道的事情。

Research that goes back as far as 1994 has shown that people who use more intimate disclosure

一項最早可以追溯到1994年的研究顯示願意分享秘密的人

tend to create a meaningful bond with their special someone.

傾向於與他們的特殊對象建立一個有意義的聯繫。

Long story short, telling your crush a little secret about yourself might just be a good way to get the ball rolling.

長話短說，告訴你的暗戀對象一個小祕密可能是一個推進關係的好方法。

Number four, give them compliments.

第四，給予他們讚美。

They say compliments are verbal sunshine. What do you think?

他們說讚美是語言上的陽光。你怎麼看？

"You look lovely today."

「你今天看起來很可愛。」

"You have an awesome style."

「你的風格真棒。」

"That hair-do looks great on you."

「這個髮型在你身上很好看。」

Everyone likes to receive such compliments from time to time.

每個人都喜歡時不時接受這樣的讚美。

It's perfectly normal and it boosts your self-esteem.

這是很正常的，而且能提高你的自尊。

Compliments can make your crush feel like they're really special to you.

讚美可以使你的暗戀對象感覺他們對你真的很特別。

You seem like someone who cares about them, but the words you choose for your compliments matter too.

你看起來是一個關心他們的人，但同時你選擇的讚美之詞也很重要。

A 2017 research study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that

一項 2017 年發表在〈Frontiers in Psychology〉期刊的研究顯示

women tend to like men who compliment using more metaphorical language, which shows their creativity.

女性傾向於喜歡善用隱喻性語言讚美的男性，這顯示了他們的創意。

It's also worth noting to compliment things that they don't hear all that often.

值得注意的是要讚美他們不常聽到的東西。

For example, compliment their artistic skills or a good book choice.

例如：讚美他們的藝術技能或對書的選擇。

They'll surely be glad someone noticed and it could be a great conversation starter.

他們肯定會很高興有人注意到而且這可能是一個很好的談話起點。

And number five, ask them questions.

第五，向他們提問。

Hmm, to ask or not to ask?

嗯，問還是不問？

Asking simple everyday questions to begin with is a way of showing them that you're interested.

首先提出簡單的日常問題是向他們表明你有興趣的一種方式。

Ask them about their hobbies or their bucket list or their favorite music choice.

詢問他們的興趣愛好或他們的夢想清單或他們最喜歡的音樂。

Pretty much anything.

基本上所有的東西都可問。

This can make your crush like you.

這可以使你的暗戀對象喜歡你。

Yeah, for reals.

是的，是真的。

A 2017 Harvard study found a connection between asking questions and being liked.

一項 2017 年哈佛大學進行的研究發現問問題和被喜歡是有關連的。

Talking about them, asking them about their life could be a good strategy to increase your chances.

談論他們，詢問他們的生活情況可能是增加你機會的一個好策略。

So just ask away.

所以就大方地問吧。

Let them do the talking and see how they smile more every time they see you.

讓他們說話並觀察他們每次看到你時逐漸增加的微笑。

In addition, the golden rule is to just relax, take it easy, and be honest, and genuine while talking to them.

此外，黃金法則是放鬆、別緊張、誠實、並在交談時保持真誠。

They'll surely feel the positive vibes and don't forget to let us know how it went.

他們肯定會感受到正向的氛圍，也別忘了讓我們知道情況如何。

Are you ready to try these out?

你準備好嘗試這些了嗎？

Are there any tips we missed?

是否有任何我們遺漏的小訣竅呢？

Feel free to leave a comment with your experience, feedback, or suggestions.

歡迎留下評論，介紹你的經驗、回饋，或建議。

If you find this video helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with others too.

如果你覺得這個影片有幫助，請按下喜歡按鈕並與大家分享。

Don't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more new videos. Thanks for watching.

不要忘了訂閱 Psych2Go 並打開小鈴鐺觀看更多影片。 謝謝你的觀看。