Because we're so used to the glaringly obvious displays of overt narcissists who are often attention-seeking, loud, and in your face,

因為我們已經太過習慣自戀者公然且明顯的尋求關注、大嗓門且挑釁的表現，

it's easy to overlook other types of narcissists, particularly the "kind" or the "covert" narcissist.

很容易會忽視其它種類的自戀者，尤其是「善良」或「隱蔽」的自戀者。

To avoid being fooled by their outwardly kind nature, today's video will be focused on what "kind" narcissism is and what to do when you interact with someone who is a "kind" narcissist.

為了避免被他們表面的善良所迷惑，今天的影片將重點聚焦於「善良」的自戀為何，以及當你與「善良」自戀者互動時應該怎麼做。

What is a "kind" narcissist?

什麼是「善良」自戀者？

"Kind" narcissists describe those who have the general qualities of narcissism, such as a lack of empathy or a desire for attention, but who come off as nice, understanding, thoughtful.

「善良」自戀者是用來形容那些具有一般自戀者特質的人，如缺乏同情心或渴望關注，但是顯得友好、善解人意、體貼入微。

They're still self-serving and will approach things by looking at what and who they can use to benefit themselves the most.

他們依然追逐私利，並會透過觀察可以利用什麼東西或人物才能獲得自身最大利益來處理事情。

And because of the appearance they put up, it's often difficult to notice and realize that you're really dealing with a narcissist.

因為他們呈現的外表，往往很難注意並意識到你正和自戀者打交道。

Even if you realize, it may be too late, since their façade may crack when they can no longer contain or control their sense of entitlement and selfish behaviors.

即使你已經意識到了，也可能為時已晚，因為當他們無法再遏止或控制自身權利感和自私行為時，他們的外表可能會破裂。

Appearances can be deceiving, so, what should you look out for?

外表是可以欺騙人的，所以，你應該注意什麼呢？

Signs of a "Kind" Narcissist

「善良」自戀者的徵兆

According to Tonya Lester, a psychotherapist, this type of narcissism often manifests itself in a few ways,

根據心理治療師 Tonya Lester 所說，這個類型的自戀通常會以幾個不同方式展現，

including not doing their fair share of housework, insisting that their needs are more important than yours, and being resistant and reluctant to spend time or resources on things you enjoy.

包括不做他們應該做的家務、堅持自身需求比你的更重要，以及抵制且不願意花時間或資源在你喜歡的事情上。

Perhaps they promised that they'd change or will put in more effort to the relationship, but slack off in the end.

或許他們承諾了自己會改變或投入更多心力在感情中，但最終依然倦怠。

"Kind" narcissists are the ones who know exactly what to say and what to do to get on your good side and convince you that what they're doing is good and right.

「善良」自戀者完全清楚自己該說什麼、做什麼來獲得你的好感，並說服你他們正在做好且正確的事。

So, if you don't want to get sweet-talked into their hands, here are five things you can do when you're with them.

所以說，如果你不想要被甜言蜜語騙上手，以下是你跟對方在一起時可以做的五件事。

Number one, set boundaries.

第一、設立界限。

Are you able to tell them "no"?

你能夠跟他們說「不」嗎？

Narcissists often won't care about respecting your time and space.

自戀者往往不會在意要尊重你的時間和空間。

It's a reason it's important to set boundaries and remain steadfast about keeping them.

這也是設定界限並堅定維持界限的重要原因。

It's a way to communicate your principles and values, and to show them what you are and are not comfortable with.

這是溝通你自身原則和價值的方式，並且讓對方看到感到舒服或不舒服的東西。

By remaining vigilant about respecting your boundaries, you also show them that their strategies and methods to undermine or manipulate you won't work.

透過警惕地尊重你的界限，你也在向他們表明，他們破壞或操縱你的策略和方法是行不通的。

Number two, speak up.

第二、發表意見。

Are you able to speak your mind when you're with them?

你跟對方在一起時，能夠發表自己的想法嗎？

Narcissists will often try to silence you as a way to gain control over you.

自戀者往往會試圖讓你沉默，以此獲得對你的控制。

By being aware of this, you can remind yourself to speak up and make yourself heard because once they know that they can't silence you, they may give up on their efforts to influence you.

只要意識到這一點，你可以提醒自己要發言、讓對方聽到你的聲音，因為一旦他們知道自己無法讓你閉嘴，就可能會放棄影響你的意圖。

Number three, healthy distancing.

第三、維持健康距離。

One of the best ways to avoid falling into the narcissist trap is to keep them at an arm's length.

避免落入自戀者陷阱的最好方法之一是，與他們保持一定的距離。

The less time you spend with them, the less opportunity they have to weave you into their web of lies and deceit.

你和對方的相處時間越短，他們把你編織進謊言和欺騙的機會就越少。

So, if you find yourself around a narcissistic person, try to slowly distance yourself from them.

所以說，如果你發現自己身邊有自戀的人，試著慢慢地與他們拉開距離。

Number four, get help.

第四、尋求幫助。

If you're in a relationship with a narcissist and require help, there are some resources and therapists available, who deal specifically with narcissistic abuse.

如果你正處於和自戀者感情中並需要幫助，是有可取得資源和治療師，專攻自戀凌虐。

Find a mental health provider or support group near you that deals with this topic if you feel like you need it.

如果你覺得自己有需要，可以在所在地附近找尋應付這個主題的心理健康提供者或支持小組。

Have you ever interacted with a narcissist before?

你曾否與自戀者往來過？

Let us know how you dealt with that situation in the comments.

在留言區讓我們知道你是如何處理那個情況的。

If you find this video helpful, be sure to like, subscribe, and share this video with those who might benefit from it.

如果你覺得這部影片有幫助，請務必點讚、訂閱，並與可能從中獲益的人分享。

And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon to get notified whenever Psych2Go posts a new video.

別忘了開啟小鈴鐺以在 Psych2Go 上傳新影片時接獲通知。

The references and studies used in this video are added in the description below.

影片種使用的參考資料和研究都附加在敘述欄中。

Thanks for watching, and see you in our next video.

感謝觀看，我們下一部影片中見。