So I've recently joined Instagram, and I've discovered: "Oh snap! I'm the best photographer ever!"

我最近剛加入Instagram，然後發現「天啊！我是世界上最厲害的攝影師了！」

Well, not so much—but I do love how you can take a photo of something pretty ordinary, add a filter, and all of a sudden it becomes a lot cooler.

嗯，其實沒那麼誇張。但我真的很喜歡拍一些平凡的東西，然後加上濾鏡效果，這樣照片一瞬間就變得更酷了。

Which got me thinking, how great would it be if you had Instagram in real life?

這讓我想到，如果你在現實生活中也有 Instagram，那該有多好？

Oh man, my skin looks awful today.

天啊！今天我的皮膚看起來糟透了。

Why don't you just Instagram it?

你為什麼不 Instagram 它呢？

What do you mean?

什麼意思？

Oh. If you Instagram things, they look so much better.

如果你 Instagram 東西，它看起來就會好很多。

Just cooler! I'll show you.

看起來比較酷！我秀給你看。

♪Instagram it♪

♪Instagram 化♪

Oh my God! That is amazing. You look so much cooler.

我的天啊！太神奇了，你看起來酷多了。

Yeah, I know it's weird; Instagram makes everything look more retro in real life, or something."

對啊，我知道這很怪，Instagram 能讓現實中的所有變得更復古之類的。

You should try it.

你應該試試。

Absolutely!

一定要的啊！

♪Instagram it♪

♪Instagram 化♪

What?

什麼？

-Look how cool I look. -I like it, I like it a lot.

-你看我多酷啊！-我喜歡，非常喜歡。

You know what?

你知道嗎？

You're going to love seeing what Instagram does to food.

你一定會很愛 Instagram 用在食物上的效果。

It's crazy.

超扯的。

Yeah those pancakes don't look so good.

嗯，那些鬆餅看起來不太好吃。

Not so good, huh?

不太好，對吧？

Now, check this out.

現在注意看囉！

♪Instagram it♪

♪Instagram 化♪

That's awesome!

太厲害了！

Wait a minute!

等一下！

What happens if you Instagram an Instagram?

如果你把 Instagram 用在 Instagram 上會發生什麼事？

♪Instagram it♪

♪Instagram 化♪

Get f***.

#@?$%

Yeah, and to be fair, a lot of things on my Instagram look a lot better online than they do in real life.

對，說句公道話，很多東西在我的 Instagram 上都比在現實生活中好看很多。

Sort of like how thoughts are better in your head than when you say them out loud.

這就好比把想法藏在心中比說出來好。

I reckon if I were a guy, I would be pretty into me.

我想如果我是個男人，一定會對我自己很有興趣。

So let me know in the comments below.

在下面留言讓我知道你的想法。

Are you ever guilty of Instagram cheating?

你曾因為用 Instagram 騙人而感到罪惡嗎？

Do you use filters even though you know it makes it look completely different or deceptively better online than it is in real life?

即便知道套了濾鏡會讓照片和現實看起來截然不同，或美得誇張，你還是會用嗎？

Let me know and tag a friend who is most guilty of using Instagram filters for flattery.

讓我知道，並標記一個你身邊最會使用 Instagram 濾鏡來得到讚美的朋友。

Also I apologize about there being no video last week.

另外，非常抱歉上週沒有發新片。

I tried to make one but it was really weird, and when I say weird, these videos are pretty bad as they are.

我試著要做，但它看起來真的很怪。當我說很怪的時候，這些影片真的蠻糟的。

So if you didn't make the cut, it's really bad.

如果沒有達到標準，就真的很糟。

But I apologize, and to make up for it, there'll be two videos this week.

我感到很抱歉，為了補償，我這禮拜會上兩部影片。

This one and then one on Sunday.

這一部，然後星期天再一部。

And then back to Wednesday again.

之後就還是星期三上影片。

I am sorry, I know I've said it before.

非常抱歉，我知道我說過了。

But yes, I apologize.

但是，我真的很抱歉。

Thank you though for your comments on my last video.

很謝謝你們回應我之前的影片。

Which was about "the deadly door draft," and "people who leave the door open."

有關「致命的門縫」及「不關門的人」。

Thank you though. That really made me laugh.

謝謝你們，那實在太好笑了。

I'll talk about them in porno music/comment time.

我會在色情音樂/回應時間回覆大家的。

But I'll see you guys on Sunday, and I hope you're well until then.

我們星期天見囉！我希望你們在那之前都過得很好。

Bye!

掰掰！

So Natalie, tell me, what do people who make videos on the Internet do at nighttime?

Natalie 告訴我在網路上製作影片的人晚上都在做什麼啊？

Oh, they film themselves, they eat a shit load of pancakes.

喔，他們會拍自己，然後吃一堆鬆餅。

Okay, it's porno music/comment time.

好的，現在是色情音樂/回應時間。

And I know guys, you're always constantly blown away by my special effects.

我知道你們總是被我的特效驚豔。

I know.

我知道。

Weta (Digital) called me up and asked me to work on the latest Lord of the Rings and I was like hell no!

Wade 打電話給我，要我做最新一集的魔戒我心想：「當然不要，你有事嗎？」

I've got shit videos to make online.

我網上還有 *** 的影片要做。

And you know I'm not gonna lie, I did check out a good hair day.

而你知道我不會說謊，我確實有先弄美髮日那部影片。

I made a video way before I needed to, because my hair was falling nicely.

我在需要之前就先製片了，因為我的髮型真的非常好看。

And I can't believe that someone is cheesy as myself didn't think of that pun.

我不敢相信像我這麼搞笑的人竟然沒有想到那個雙關語。

I'm gonna use that from now on.

我從現在開始要那樣用。

Cause I'm Natman.

因為我是「娜塔俠」。(作者叫 Natalie，和 batman 合併，變成 Natman)