But Trevor, how many times do I have to tell you?

崔弗，我告訴你多少次了？

It's a Swiss Tourism Ad.

這是瑞士國家旅遊局廣告，

It's not supposed to be funny.

不有趣很正常。

Gentlemen! We are going to start to shoot on the train in four minutes.

兩位，我們四分鐘後開始在火車上拍攝。

Alright, cool, thank you. We'll see you in five.

沒問題，謝謝，五分鐘後見。

Four. Yes, four minutes.

四分鐘。對，四分鐘。

Look, Trevor, we don't need comedy.

崔弗，我們不需要上演喜劇。

Let's just stick to the Grand Train Tour of Switzerland,

只需要沿著瑞士環遊火車之路旅行，

tell everybody how beautiful it is.

讓大家知道這條路線有多美就行了。

Let's not do comedy?!

不演喜劇？

I'm a comedian, Roger! You're killin' me here!

我可是喜劇演員，羅傑！是想逼死我嗎！

Just on time.

時間剛剛好。

Oh, look who's not on time: Mr. Four Minutes!

哎呀，看看誰不準時，四分鐘先生！

What happened? Huh?

現在什麼情况？蛤？

I thought you were Swiss!

你不是瑞士人嗎！

But the crew is over here?

拍攝團隊在那邊誒？

Oh, I think the crew is on the wrong train.

他們應該是上錯車了。

-No, we are on the wrong train. -Roger, relax! We are not on the wrong...

-不，是我們上錯車了。 -放鬆點羅傑，我們沒上錯…

Oh, oh, we're moving. We're on the wrong train.

哎呀，車開了，我們上錯車了。

I told you we are on the wrong train!

我剛才就跟你說我們上錯車了！

Now is not the time for blame, Roger. Just stop the train.

現在不是抱怨的時候，趕緊讓火車停下來。

I can't stop the train...

我沒法讓火車停下來…

Conductor, stop the train!

列車長，停車！

(In Swiss German) Stop, please!

（瑞士德語）請停車！

911! Stop.

救命！停車。

-It's too late! -Four minutes, stop the train!

太晚了！ 四分鐘先生，快讓車停下！

Get the phone. He's saying he's calling you.

接電話，他說他打電話給你。

Call my mum!

打給我媽！

-Get your phone, Roger! -I don't have my phone.

-羅傑，快接電話！ -我沒帶手機。

What do you mean you don't have a phone?!

沒帶手機？！

I don't know, I gave it to Tony before I came on the train.

我上車前把手機給托尼了。

You have your phone?

你手機在身上嗎？

No, I don't have my phone.

沒，我沒帶。

Why would you bring your phone on a shoot, come on!

拍攝的時候誰帶手機啊，拜托！

(In German) Next stop, Interlaken

列車廣播：（德語）下一站，因特拉根

We're on our way to Interlaken. I don't even know what that is ...

我們在去因特拉根的路上，我甚至不知道那是什麽……

That's two hours away from here.

那是距離這裡車程兩小時的地方。

Ok, This is not that bad...it's not that bad... It's not that bad, right?

好吧，情況也沒那麼糟…不算太糟糕，對吧？

We're in deep trouble.

我們麻煩大了。

We're on a beautiful train... we're just late.

我們在美麗的列車上…只是遲了一點而已。

Don't use that word. Sorry.

別提那個詞，對不起。

Sorry.

對不起。

Wow, my friend, you weren't lying. This place is stunning.

哇哦，你沒騙人誒，這裡真是美得令人窒息。

Are you seeing this right now?

你有看到嗎？

Every time I see it again, I think it's amazing.

每次看都覺得很震撼。

Can I have a photo?

可以合照嗎？

Of course, young man. We just grab a...ahhh... yeah...

當然可以，小傢伙，我們來…啊…好吧…

-Thank you, bye! -Bye bye!

-謝謝您，再見！ -再見！

Usually, they also want a picture with me, but kids and...

通常大家也會要跟我合照，不過孩子們…

Tickets, please!

驗票，謝謝！

They always come...

他們總是會來…

(In Swiss German) Please show your tickets.

（瑞士德語）請出示您的車票。

You gotta help me out here.

快幫幫我。

-(In Swiss German) Herr Federer, hello. - Grüezi, hello.

-（瑞士德語）費德勒先生，您好。 -你好。

(In Swiss German) Your ticket?

（瑞士德語）您的車票？

So, we got on the wrong train.

我們上錯車了，

We also don't have a wallet...

也沒帶錢包…

maybe ask him?

或許可以問問他？

(In Swiss German) Sorry, hello? Tickets please.

（瑞士德語）您好，打擾了，請出示車票。

Ahh, hello.

啊，您好。

-Hi. -Hi.

-嗨。 -嗨。

Do you have a ticket?

您有票嗎？

I'm a professional, very professional comedian... worldwide.

我是專業、非常專業的喜劇演員…世界級的。

-Yes. -My name is Trevor Noah.

-了解。 -我是崔弗·諾亞（崔娃）。

Yeah.

沒錯。

I understand, but you cannot pay me in jokes.

我明白，不過您不能用笑話付費。

That was pretty good... sorry.

她蠻有梗的…抱歉。

Okay, okay.

好吧，好吧。

Actually... what if I followed you on TikTok?

那…要不我在社交媒體上關注您，怎麽樣？

No.

不行。

(In Swiss German) Excuse me,

（瑞士德語）打擾一下

I'll take care of this.

算我身上吧。

I'm a big fan of yours.

我是你的超級粉絲。

Thank you.

謝謝您。

You hear that?

聽到了？

One fan at a time, Trevor.

一次一個粉絲，崔佛。

I'm half Swiss, half South African.

我是一半瑞士人，一半南非人。

He's half Swiss, half South African.

他也是一半瑞士人，一半南非人。

Half Swiss here, half Swiss there.

這裡一半瑞士人，那裡一半瑞士人。

Yeah, we are brothers from a different mother.

對，我們是異父異母的兄弟。

From now on, hopefully he'll listen when I tell him that we're on the wrong train.

從現在開始，希望我告訴他我們上錯車的時候他能聽我的。

You're not on the wrong train. You're definitely on the right train.

你們沒上錯車，你們是在對的旅途上。

You hear that? We're never on the wrong train.

聽到沒？我們從來就沒上錯車。

We are on the right train.

我們坐對車了。

This has been amazing, man.

這真是太美妙了，兄弟。

Can I just say... this has been phenomenal.

容我說…這趟旅途實在不同凡響。

I'm happy we're on the wrong train.

很高興我們上錯了車。

It was your fault, but I don't hold that against you.

都是你的錯，但我不怪你。

This was one of the best trips I've ever taken.

這是我經歷過最棒的旅程之一。

I wish we could do it again.

真希望能再來一次。

The train to Lucerne is leaving in 45 seconds.

開往琉森的列車 45 秒後啟程。

Hey, hey!

嘿，嘿！

I hope there's another old lady.

希望能再遇到一位老夫人。

-Hey, wait, wait! -Let's go!

-等一下，等一下！ -走吧！

[When you need the ride of a lifetime]

[尋找永生難忘的旅途]

[You need Switzerland.]

[來瑞士準沒錯]