When we're kids, we feel like time is limitless.

當我們還是孩子的時候，我們覺得時間是無限的。

We have all the time in the world to go where we want, do what we want, be who we want.

我們有足夠的時間去我們想去的地方，做我們想做的事，當我們想當的人。

But as we get older, we become acutely aware of how quickly time is passing us by and how nothing stays the same forever.

但隨著年齡的增長，我們會敏銳地意識到時間過得有多快，沒有什麼是永遠不變的。

Throughout our lifetime, the evolution of who we spend our time with changes, and I find it incredibly fascinating and it's what I wanted to chat about in today's video.

在我們的一生中，我們與誰共度時光的演變發生了變化，我發現這非常有趣，也是我想在今天的影片中討論的內容。

I also briefly want to thank BetterHelp for sponsoring today's video, but we're going to chat more about them at the end.

我也要快速地感謝 BetterHelp 贊助今天的影片，我們會在影片最後討論更多關於他們的內容。

My mom was just 29 years old when she immigrated to Canada.

我媽媽移民到加拿大時才 29 歲。

My parents had been refugees for 10 years and they were immigrating with three kids.

我的父母已成為難民十年了，他們帶著三個孩子移民。

I was the youngest, was just a little baby at the time, and they worked tirelessly to build a new life for us.

我是年紀最小的一個，當時還是個小嬰兒，他們不屈不撓地為我們建立新的生活。

Like I know now just how difficult it was for them at the time,

我現在才明白當時的生活對他們來說有多困苦。

learning a new language, finding new ways to make a living all while living very far away from where they once called home.

要學習一門新語言、尋找新的謀生方式，同時遠離他們曾經稱之為家的地方。

But I do remember that growing up our house was so lively.

但我確實記得，在我們成長的過程中，我們家是非常熱鬧的。

We were three girls, so we played around a lot.

我們家有三個女孩，所以我們很常一起玩。

We fought probably even more, but we were always together.

我們吵架的次數可能更多，但我們總是在一起。

I vividly remember building blanket forts with my sisters.

我清楚地記得和我的姐妹們一起搭毛毯堡壘。

We would go camping with our parents and cousins and I'd squeeze the jelly into the doughnuts at the diner that my parents once owned.

我們會和父母及表兄弟姐妹們一起去露營，我會在我父母曾經擁有的餐廳裡把果凍擠進甜甜圈。

But then it felt like I blinked my eyes, I graduated high school and I moved out of the house to live on campus.

但後來感覺我眨了一下眼睛就高中畢業了，搬出了家，住進校園裡。

I hadn't given much thought yet to the fact that the days and hours I'd be spending with my sisters and my parents that it would take a nosedive,

我沒有特別想過我和我的姐妹們和我的父母一起度過的日子和時間會迅速減少，

that we'd see each other every few weeks for holidays and birthdays.

因為當時我們每隔幾週就會在放假和各自生日的時候見面。

But most of my time I was now spending with my friends.

但我現在大部分時間都是跟朋友們相處。

And then similar to my mom, at the age of 26, I moved overseas.

然後和我媽媽一樣，我在 26 歲的時候搬到國外。

Unlike her, I wasn't a refugee, I didn't have kids,

跟她不同的是，我不是難民，也沒有小孩，

but I moved from Canada to the Netherlands so that I could be with my partner, so that I could be with Robin.

但我從加拿大搬到了荷蘭，這樣我就可以和我的伴侶在一起，可以跟 Robin 在一起。

And I often felt that I had abandoned my family and I would even tell my mom that, and she would say,

我經常覺得我拋棄了我的家人，我也會把這個想法告訴我媽媽，她會說：

"You know, but I did it too. I also left my mom to be with your dad and to start a family, and my mom did it to her mom and her mom before that, that's just life."

「我也這樣過。我也離開了我媽媽，和你爸爸在一起，建立一個家庭，我媽媽也這樣對她媽媽，她的外婆之前也是這樣，人生就是這樣。」

And so even though the life stories of me and my mom could not be more different, I think it's so fascinating to see that there are some similarities with all of our life stories.

所以儘管我和我媽媽的人生故事不可能有很多不同，但我看到我們的人生故事都有一些相似之處是非常有趣的。

And so recently I came across the findings from Our World in Data.

最近我看到 Our World in Data 的研究發現。

It's a research organization and they published this report that shows who we spend our time with across our lifetime, and I think it's something we can all relate to.

這是一個研究機構，他們發布了一份顯示我們一生中會跟誰共度時光的研究報告，我覺得這是我們大家都會有共鳴的。

So what they show is that as children, we spend most of our time with our families, and that makes sense, right?

報告顯示，我們還小的時候大部分時間都跟家人待在一起，這很合理，對吧？

They're the ones who teach us, guide us and help us navigate the world.

他們教導我們、引導我們，幫助我們了解這個世界。

And then as we enter adolescence, our time with family tails off and we spend more time with our friends.

然後當我們進入青春期時，我們與家人在一起的時間逐漸減少，我們花更多的時間跟朋友在一起。

It's a crucial time for us to learn how to build relationships.

這是我們學習如何與他人建立關係的關鍵時期。

But then you fast forward to young adulthood and our focus shifts to romantic relationships.

但是隨後快進到成年初期，我們的注意力轉移到戀愛關係上。

We spend more time with our partner.

我們花更多時間跟我們的伴侶相處。

It's a time when many of us start to settle down and maybe even consider having children of our own.

這是我們很多人開始定下來，甚至考慮生孩子的時候。

And at around the same time, we spend a significant number of our hours with our co-workers building the foundations for our future and providing for our families.

大約在同時間，我們花很多時間跟同事相處，為我們的未來奠定基礎並養家糊口。

But then as we age, our social networks start to shrink.

但隨著我們的年齡增長，我們的社交網絡開始縮小。

We retire, the kids leave the house and we spend an increasing amount of time alone.

我們退休、小孩離家，隨之而來的是獨處的時間增加了。

And this is now something I'm seeing with my parents.

這是我現在在我父母身上看到的景象。

My dad is easing into retirement.

我父親正在慢慢進入退休狀態。

My mom is actually currently on a solo backpacking trip.

我媽媽目前自己去當背包客旅行。

It's all just a very different life now, to the one they started in Canada when they were my age.

與他們在我這個年紀時在加拿大開始的生活相比，現在的生活完全不同了。

And these graphs have really got me thinking about who is it we're spending our time with and are we spending our time wisely?

這些圖表真的讓我好好思考我們跟誰共度時光，我們是否明智地運用了這些時間。

And if there's anything I've taken away from the graphs is this:

如果我從圖表中學到了什麼，那就是：

The first is to prioritize time with family.

第一點是，優先考慮跟家人相處的時間。

Knowing full well that our days are now numbered, I want to try to not brush off opportunities to connect with them more.

我很明白我們可以相處的日子已經屈指可數了，我盡可能不放棄跟他們有更多相處的機會。

I want to call them more. I want to see them more if I can.

我想更常打電話給他們，如果可以的話，我想更常見見他們。

The second is to be intentional about friendships.

第二，更慎重地看待友誼。

I was honestly really surprised to see that we don't spend all that much time with our friends as we get older.

老實說，我很驚訝地發現隨著年齡的增長，我們跟朋友相處的時間沒有那麼多了。

But I do think it's really worthwhile to have a few close and really deep friendships that we invest in.

但我確實認為，我們投入精力在一些親密且深厚的友誼上是非常值得的。

I don't think we need many friends, but just a few good ones, you know?

我覺得我們不需要很多朋友，只需要幾個好朋友。

The third is to cherish time with kiddos.

第三個，珍惜跟孩子們相處的時間。

Robin and I don't have kids of our own yet, but I'm seeing how crazy fast my nieces and nephews are growing up.

Robin 和我還沒有自己的孩子，但我看到我的侄女和侄子長大的速度真的非常快。

And kids don't stay in the nest for long. It's what my parents always said to us too.

孩子們總會離巢，這也是我父母一直告訴我的。

And I didn't much listen to it at the time, but now I see what they meant.

我當時沒怎麼聽進去，但現在我明白他們的意思了。

I think the fourth is to nurture healthy relationships with our coworkers.

我認為第四是跟同事間培養健康的關係。

I think it was astonishing to see how much time we spend with them, almost as much time as we spend with our partners.

我很驚訝看到我們之間會共度這麼多的時間，幾乎跟我們與伴侶相處的合作時間一樣多。

And so showing appreciation, communicating compassionately and investing in the relationships, I think can make a really big difference.

所以我認為表達感激之情、富有同情心地溝通並投資於人際關係可以產生很大的不同結果。

And then lastly, I think what stood out to me the most, what was most shocking was to see the graph that showed how much time we spend alone.

最後，我覺得最讓我印象深刻、最令人震驚的是看到顯示我們獨處時間的圖表。

And so looking into the future, I want to learn to become more comfortable with being alone because the idea frankly scares me.

所以在未來，我想學會更適應獨處，因為坦白說，獨處這個想法讓我害怕。

But I know that being alone doesn't necessarily have to mean being lonely.

但我知道，獨處並不一定代表孤獨。

I do find that when I have a moment alone, I either distract myself or I want to hang out with Robin, I want us to do things together.

我確實發現當我有片刻獨處時，我要麽會分散自己的注意力，要麽會想和 Robin 在一起，我希望我們一起行動。

But we arguably always spend more time alone than we do with anyone else.

但不置可否，我們獨處的時間總是大過於跟他人相處的時間。

And even more so later in life.

在往後的日子中更是如此。

So I do want to learn to enjoy more of my own company for the sake of my future self.

所以為了未來的自己，我想學會更享受陪伴自己。

But that's just my take on it.

但這只是我的看法。

I'm curious though how you perceive these graphs.

我很好奇你是如何看待這些圖表的。

Do you feel like how you're spending your time is spent wisely kind of building relationships with the people that matter the most to you in your life?

你是否覺得你有好好地利用時間在與你生命中最重要的人建立關係上呢？

And how do you feel about the graph that shows that we spend more and more time alone as we get older?

你對於顯示我們隨著年齡增長獨處的時間會越來越多的圖表有什麼看法呢？

I'm genuinely curious to hear your thoughts. I'll see you in the comments.

我真的很好奇，想聽聽你的想法。我期待在評論區中看到你們的留言。

And again, I wanted to thank BetterHelp for sponsoring today's video.

最後，我想再説一次感謝 BetterHelp 贊助今天的影片。

When I moved to the Netherlands, I had a case of being proper homesick.

當我搬到荷蘭時，我有點想。

And so I made an appointment to see a therapist.

於是我預約了一個治療師。

It didn't honestly go that well, I think because of language and cultural differences.

老實說，這過程不怎麼順利，我想是因為語言和文化差異。

And then I found an incredible expat therapist, but I had to commute two hours to see her every time.

然後我找到了一位很棒的外籍治療師，但我每次都得花兩個小時去見她。

And then I discovered BetterHelp and I do wish I had learned about them sooner because I think it would have saved me a lot of time in frustration.

然後我找到了 BetterHelp ，我希望我應該早點了解它們的，因為我覺得這會讓我省去很多沮喪的時候。

What I really appreciate about BetterHelp is that you can chat with your therapist from the comfort of your own home because everything is online.

我真正欣賞 BetterHelp 的地方在於，你可以在家中舒適地跟你的治療師聊天，因為都是線上的。

And you can request a new therapist anytime if you feel it isn't working out with a therapist that you've been matched with.

如果你覺得與你配對治療師不適合你，可以隨時要求更換新的治療師。

And for me, that's a huge deal.

對我來說，這很重要。

So if you're struggling with anything and you feel like you could benefit from chatting with somebody about it, then you can get the ball rolling with BetterHelp,

如果你正在因為各種問題而苦苦掙扎，並且覺得與人聊聊可以有所收穫，那麼你可以透過 BetterHelp 開始治療，

just by answering at first a few questions about what you're looking for in therapy.

首先只需回答幾個關於你在治療中想要獲得什麼的問題。

This is then going to help them match you with the right therapist from their network of over 25,000 experienced therapists.

這會幫助 BetterHelp 從他們超過 25,000 名經驗豐富的治療師中為你匹配合適的治療師。

And from there, you can get chatting, however you feel most comfortable. Via text, phone or video chat, you can message your therapist at any time.

之後你們就可以開始聊天，用你感覺最舒服的方法，例如傳簡訊、打電話或視訊聊天，你可以隨時傳訊息給你的治療師。

And most importantly, you can schedule live sessions whenever it's most convenient for you.

而最重要的是，你可以在你最方便的時候安排面對面的面談。

If you do want to try out BetterHelp, they're actually offering 10% off of your first month.

如果你想試用 BetterHelp，他們會在第一個月提供 10% 的折扣。

Just be sure to visit betterhelp.com/pickuplimes or check out the link I'm going to leave for you in the description box below.

請務必到 betterhelp.com/pickuplimes 或查看我在下面的說明欄中留下的連結。

That's where I'm actually also gonna leave you the links for the graphs from Our World in Data in case you want to check it out for yourself.

我也會在說明欄中留下 Our World in Data 的數據圖表的連結，如果你想自己去看一下。

I think the graphs are incredibly thought provoking and I think it just puts things into perspective.

我認為這些圖表非常發人深省，讓我們對事情更有概念。

I often also feel that we need to be reminded more often than we need to be taught.

我也經常覺得我們需要被提醒的次數多於我們需要被教導的次數。

And I think that's the case with these graphs.

這些圖表就是這樣的情況。

It's things that we kind of all already know, but it's just good to see it from time to time, you know?

這些事我們都已經知道的事情，但時不時地看到它有好處。

So anyway, thanks so much for enjoying this cup of tea with me.

總之，非常感謝你和我一起享受這杯茶。

It's really lovely. I really appreciate you.

非常開心。我很感激你們的觀看。

And Pick Up Limes signing off.

Pick Up Limes 要下線了。

I'll see you in the next video.

我們在下一個影片中再見吧。