Instead of integrating and maturing, we've chosen amputation and since it's never been openly out there, most of us have little idea how to deal negative emotions are an integral part of being a full person as such.

我們沒有整合和成熟，而是選擇了截肢，由於它從來沒有公開過，我們中的大多數人幾乎不知道如何處理負面情緒是作為一個完整的人這樣的一個組成部分。

We need to learn how to care for ourselves acknowledging this aspect and teach ourselves how to react in a healthy way than be inactive or making it worse.

我們需要學習如何照顧自己，承認這一方面，並教導自己如何以健康的方式作出反應，而不是不作為或使情況惡化。

Number one acknowledge and accept your emotions seems simple enough to say I am angry and ashamed.

第一，承認並接受你的情緒，似乎很簡單，說我很生氣，很羞愧。

So why does it stick in our throats honest Acknowledgment like this may have been disciplined out, being slandered as shameful or taken as an indication that you are wrong for that feeling.

那麼，為什麼它堅持在我們的喉嚨裡誠實地承認像這樣可能已經被懲戒了，被誹謗為可恥或被當作是你的這種感覺是錯誤的。

You may have been told the right way is to shut it away and maybe dress it up as something else.

你可能被告知正確的方法是把它關起來，也許把它裝扮成別的東西。

Wait, would you ever put a cork in a volcano?

等等，你會在火山裡放一個軟木塞嗎？

You know what we mean?

你知道我們的意思嗎？

Going la la la.

走啦走啦。

I don't hear you to negative emotions doesn't make it magically dissipate into the either it ripens until it's ready to burst rotten fruit.

我不聽你對負面情緒並不能使它神奇地消散到要麼它成熟，直到它準備爆裂的爛果。

The result is something destructive to yourself.

其結果是對自己有破壞性的東西。

Like depression or maybe harming others when negative emotion yells, I'm getting angry, You won't like me when I'm angry, don't hide the beast away, pull up a chair and be there when it hits its peak, accepting the emotion and letting it do its thing reveals.

比如抑鬱症，或者當負面情緒大喊：我開始生氣了，我生氣的時候你不會喜歡我的，不要把野獸藏起來，拉一把椅子，在它達到頂峰的時候在那裡，接受這種情緒，讓它做它的事情，揭示出來。

The extreme point is temporary on their own emotions can't hurt you.

極端點是暫時對自己的情緒不能傷害你。

That's what your reaction to them decides.

這是你對他們的反應決定的。

This acknowledgment is the first fundamental step in a process on how to get a handle on the negative.

這種承認是關於如何處理負面情緒的過程中的第一個基本步驟。

The next step is number two.

接下來是第二步。

Practice self compassion, great.

練習自我憐憫，很好。

So negative emotion and I are talking and I feel like garbage.

所以負面情緒和我交談，我覺得自己像個垃圾。

What now?

現在怎麼辦？

Hey now understand you're not garbage.

嘿，現在明白你不是垃圾了吧。

You are a complete valid whole being who deserve support confused.

你是一個完整有效的整體，應該得到支持的困惑。

We understand you may have been taught that any show of negative emotion makes you a lesser person and deserving of support and love and that is a lie.

我們理解你可能被教導說，任何負面情緒的表現都使你成為一個較差的人，值得支持和愛，這是一個謊言。

The concern and love you have for yourself is real and important practices empathy.

你對自己的關注和愛是真實的，也是重要的實踐共鳴。

Self empathy is not what I feel is more important than anyone else.

自我同情並不是我覺得比別人更重要的東西。

It's a practice of being able to say I was wrong and I feel bad.

這是一種能夠說我錯了的做法，我感到很難過。

This means that I'm capable of emotion, not stunted.

這意味著我有情感能力，而不是發育不良。

I am and always was valid for feeling and acknowledging I screwed up.

我現在和以前都是有效的，因為我感到並承認我搞砸了。

In fact being able to understand you're still the same good solid you even when you stumble means you have the way with and stability to be in sync, supportive and helpful to others.

事實上，能夠理解你仍然是那個好的堅實的你，即使你跌倒了，也意味著你有辦法與和穩定地同步，支持和幫助別人。

Number three find an outlet a healthy outlet to contrast when the lock it away and pretend it's not there.

第三，找到一個出口，一個健康的出口，以便在鎖住它並假裝它不存在的時候進行對比。

Method of dealing with negative emotions is practiced.

練習了處理負面情緒的方法。

This outlet mutates into a beast of addiction or other destruction.

這個出口變異為成癮的野獸或其他破壞。

This is straight up not a good time with no good end to the road you may be saying, Well, I still have to do something.

這直接不是一個好的時間，沒有好的結局，你可能會說，好吧，我還是要做一些事情。

I can't just let it hang out here forever.

我不能讓它永遠掛在這裡。

I want my couch back.

我想要回我的沙發。

Yes.

是的。

We realize that an outlet is necessary.

我們意識到，一個出口是必要的。

Here's actually where it can be fun.

這裡實際上是它可以變得有趣的地方。

If handled correctly, you get to do something that is enjoyable for you.

如果處理得當，你可以做一些讓你愉快的事情。

Pick a good, healthy feasible activity that makes you go, ah, yes, good times.

挑選一個好的、健康的可行的活動，讓你去，啊，是的，好時光。

Or simply release.

或者乾脆釋放。

It'll be an activity that leaves good vibes long after it's done.

這將是一項在完成後長期留下良好氛圍的活動。

No, Morning after regrets, ideas, get a massage, dust off your journal or sweat it out with some exercise.

不，早晨在後悔之後，想法，去按摩，撣去你的日記，或用一些運動來發汗。

Maybe relief in mediation.

也許在調解中得到緩解。

If what you're dealing with Burns with the hotness of 1000 suns, get some alone time and scream into a pillow alternating with watching cute cat videos that can work to these are to help you ride the storm when it's peaking.

如果你正在處理伯恩斯與1000個太陽的熱度，得到一些獨處的時間，對著枕頭尖叫，交替著看可愛的貓咪視頻，可以對這些是幫助你在風暴達到頂峰時乘風破浪。

Remember temporary, the worst will pass and things will chill down.

記住暫時的，最壞的情況會過去，事情會冷下來。

Have some faith yourself.

自己要有一些信心。

Number four practice showing gratitude.

第四項是練習表達感激之情。

Sure.

當然。

It's hard to feel there's still good in my life and that matters when you're sobbing into your ice cream or angrily screaming at your pillow yet, those good things are still there and it helps to acknowledge that don't let negative emotion overwhelm you discounting the forces of good in your life.

當你對著冰激凌啜泣或對著枕頭憤怒地尖叫時，你很難感覺到我的生活中還有好的東西，這很重要，然而，這些好的東西仍然存在，承認這一點很有幫助，不要讓負面情緒壓倒你，使你生活中好的力量大打折扣。

You could think of someone who has been kind to you put that gratitude in writing so you can read it back to yourself.

你可以想到某個對你有恩的人把這種感激之情寫下來，這樣你就可以把它讀回給自己。

This strengthens the good things that boy you after this negative emotion houseguest has left you a mess.

這加強了在這個負面情緒的房客給你留下一個爛攤子後，男孩你的好東西。

To clean up bonus.

為了清理獎金。

You could even communicate that gratitude directly to the person and now there's two people feeling awesome.

你甚至可以把這種感激之情直接傳達給對方，現在有兩個人感覺很好。

That's a 100% increase massive gains.

這是一個100%的大規模增長。

Number five, improve your communication skills.

第五，提高你的溝通技巧。

We're going to play Captain obvious here in the department of redundancy department.

我們要在這裡發揮隊長的明顯作用，在冗長的部門。

The important factor in communicating your negative emotions is communicating effective, communicating is so necessary and needed.

溝通你的負面情緒的重要因素是有效溝通，溝通是如此的必要和需要。

It should be part of the school curriculum.

它應該是學校課程的一部分。

It's needed every day for all of us who aren't planning to abscond to an isolated mountain cave for the rest of our lives.

對於我們所有不打算潛逃到一個與世隔絕的山洞裡度過餘生的人來說，每天都需要它。

Instead, we're expected to just figure it out, punished early on for saying how we really feel and never taught an alternative, were just told not to feel it.

相反，我們被期望想出辦法，在早期就因為說出我們的真實感受而受到懲罰，從來沒有被教導過其他的辦法，只是被告知不要有這種感覺。

This has resulted in a population who find difficulty saying I feel this negative emotion without being thoughtlessly hurtful to others.

這導致人們發現很難說我有這種負面情緒，而不至於不經意地傷害他人。

If they say anything at all.

如果他們說什麼的話。

If our emotions as a whole were accepted as part of the norm, we'd all have learned from a young age how to perform the delicate dance of tact and empathy with our negative emotion dance partner.

如果我們的情緒作為一個整體被接受為規範的一部分，我們都會從小就學會如何與我們的負面情緒舞伴進行微妙的策略和同情的舞蹈。

This enables you to explain your perspective and your experience without hurting the relationship.

這使你能夠解釋你的觀點和你的經驗，而不會傷害到關係。

So that gruff, gnarled curmudgeon who told you emotions make you weak, make you soft, was likely expressing their own frustrations.

是以，那個粗魯的、長滿疙瘩的老頑固告訴你情感使你軟弱，使你軟弱，很可能是在表達他們自己的挫折感。

The only way they knew how we can learn to be better, contrary to what old Grumpy said, absolute denial of emotions.

他們知道我們如何才能學得更好的唯一方法，與老頑童所說的相反，絕對否認情緒。

Any emotions is to force yourself to be incomplete.

任何情緒都是在強迫自己不完整。

As unstable as building with a fractured frame.

就像用斷裂的框架建築一樣不穩定。

How are you practicing to complete yourself?

你是如何通過練習來完成自己的？

What ways have you found?

你找到了什麼方法？

Help you process negative emotions?

幫助你處理負面情緒？

We'd love for you to discuss and share.

我們很希望你能討論和分享。

Thanks for watching and we'll see you soon.

謝謝你的觀看，我們很快就會看到你。