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  • there's a lot that can destroy your relationships lack of trust, wow, that is a very interesting choice of wardrobe for a first date, lying, Hey babe, does this outfit make me look fat?

    有很多東西可以破壞你們的關係 缺乏信任,哇,這是一個非常有趣的第一次約會的衣著選擇,說謊,嘿,寶貝,這身衣服讓我看起來很胖嗎?

  • No, hey, not at all.

    不,嘿,一點也不。

  • I mean, yes, people gained weight in the pandemic, but you look so thin, so skinny, you do not look fat at all.

    我的意思是,是的,人們在大流行病中增加了體重,但是你看起來那麼瘦,那麼瘦,你看起來一點都不胖。

  • I don't think that I was gonna say professional, does this outfit make me look professional, even incompatible sleeping positions.

    我不認為我要說的是專業,這身衣服是否讓我看起來很專業,甚至不相容的睡姿。

  • I like sleeping on the right side of the bed.

    我喜歡睡在床的右邊。

  • Oh, I like sleeping with my ax.

    哦,我喜歡和我的斧頭一起睡。

  • But the one thing that is a guaranteed way to destroy your relationships is a lack of communication specifically, not being able to have hard conversations when you can't have an honest heart to heart with someone, you end up building resentment and the small things that could have been talked out, build up one by one until they tear your relationship apart.

    但是,有一件事是摧毀你的關係的保證,具體來說就是缺乏溝通,不能進行艱難的對話,當你不能與某人進行誠實的心與心的交流時,你最終會建立怨恨,那些本可以談出來的小事,一個接一個地建立起來,直到它們把你們的關係撕裂。

  • I'm a very direct person.

    我是一個非常直接的人。

  • Sometimes I am too direct because I lost my sister in my youth.

    有時我過於直接,因為我在年輕時失去了我的妹妹。

  • I have a chronic fear of not saying my feelings just in case the other person dies.

    我長期害怕不說自己的感受,就怕對方死了。

  • It's like no stone left unsaid, right.

    這就像沒有不說的石頭,對吧。

  • And sometimes that can skew into the extreme.

    而有時這可能會偏向於極端。

  • So one of the things that I've been learning is to really examine, do I need to bring this up.

    是以,我一直在學習的一件事是要真正審視,我是否需要提出來。

  • Can I give this person the benefit of the doubt and just let this go or will I end up holding on to it and building resentment, which if I think it will, then I will have that hard conversation, but in my experience as a human being on this planet for 33 years, most people don't have this problem.

    我是否可以給這個人好處,讓這件事過去,或者我最終會堅持下去,建立怨恨,如果我認為會這樣,那麼我就會有這種艱難的對話,但根據我作為一個在這個星球上生活了33年的人的經驗,大多數人沒有這個問題。

  • Most people have a very hard time sitting someone down and having that hard talk and look, I get it, I used to be painfully shy, a people pleaser, I had zero boundaries and I would worry that speaking my truth would to rejection or abandonment and I would carry the seeds of resentment until finally I would just leave the person and they would be blindsided.

    大多數人都很難讓別人坐下來進行這種艱難的談話,看,我明白了,我曾經是一個痛苦的害羞者,一個討好別人的人,我沒有任何界限,我會擔心說出我的真相會被拒絕或被拋棄,我會帶著怨恨的種子,直到最後我離開那個人,他們會被嚇倒。

  • There's this one girl in high school, let's call her jen because her name was jen Hi jen, I'm really sorry jen was a cool girl, she was popular, she was rich, she was kind of like our schools regina George and jen, you know, she was like a white girl, main character and she kind of treated me like her sidekick one time we went to Barnes and nobles and then she just randomly sprung on me, oh my God, okay, I need you to shut up and go away for a second.

    高中時有一個女孩,讓我們叫她珍,因為她的名字叫珍 嗨,珍,我真的很抱歉,珍是一個很酷的女孩,她很受歡迎,她很有錢,她有點像我們學校的雷吉娜-喬治和珍,你知道,她就像一個白人女孩,主角,她有點把我當成她的跟班,有一次我們去巴恩斯和貴族,然後她只是隨意地對我說,哦,我的上帝,好,我需要你閉嘴,走開一下。

  • My ex is dating this new girl.

    我的前夫正在和這個新女孩約會。

  • I invited her here, I'm gonna make her log onto her facebook on my computer, which will save her password so that I can read all of their messages, Jen was a diabolical genius but she frequently did stuff that really bothered me whether it was talking over me or literally sidelining me when we were supposed to be hanging out or just kind of being really selfish and instead of talking to jen and letting her know that her behavior was really upsetting to me.

    我邀請她來這裡,我要讓她在我的電腦上登錄她的Facebook,這將保存她的密碼,這樣我就可以閱讀他們所有的資訊。Jen是一個邪惡的天才,但她經常做一些讓我非常煩惱的事情,無論是在我面前說話,還是在我們應該出去玩的時候真的把我放在一邊,或者只是那種非常自私的行為,而不是和Jen交談,讓她知道她的行為真的讓我很不高興。

  • I took every hit I carried every resentment until finally I just hated jen, I tried to slow ghost her but she did not get the message so I started acting out.

    我承受著每一次打擊,我揹負著每一份怨恨,直到最後,我只是討厭簡,我試圖緩和她的情緒,但她沒有得到消息,所以我開始採取行動。

  • I'd be randomly mean hoping that she'd just leave me alone, but it didn't work because she just found it hilarious.

    我隨意地刻薄,希望她能放過我,但這並不奏效,因為她只是覺得這很好笑。

  • So I was so afraid of having a conversation with jen that one day I concocted a plan at jen's next sleepover, I was going to steal her most prized possession, a bunch of her clothes and I was going to make sure that I would steal enough of her clothes that it was noticeable and then she would finally hate me too and stop being my friend, this was my plan right?

    所以我非常害怕與簡談話,有一天我在簡的下一個通宵派對上構思了一個計劃,我要偷她最珍貴的東西,她的一堆衣服,而且我要確保我偷的衣服足夠多,讓人注意到,然後她最終也會恨我,不再做我的朋友,這就是我的計劃,對嗎?

  • The alternative was to maybe just have a convo with her and then break up with her but that was so terrifying to me that I decided let me just steal a bunch of jen's wardrobe.

    另一個選擇是也許只是和她對話,然後和她分手,但這對我來說太可怕了,我決定讓我偷一堆珍的衣櫃。

  • So that is what I did afterwards, like literally made trips to and from my car, just throwing her clothes in there and afterwards I got home, jen called and she said, hey babe, so I'm missing like a ton of my clothes and I know it was you because I just did my laundry and you're like the only person that I saw, but I gotta and I forgive you because I would totally steal my clothes too.

    是以,這就是我後來所做的,就像從字面上看,我的車來回穿梭,只是把她的衣服扔在那裡,之後我回到家,珍打電話給我,她說,嘿,寶貝,所以我缺少像一噸的衣服,我知道是你,因為我剛洗完衣服,你就像我唯一看到的人,但我必須,我原諒你,因為我也會完全偷我的衣服。

  • So just return them and we're all good.

    是以,只要把它們退回,我們就都好了。

  • Okay, I cannot believe it.

    好吧,我無法相信。

  • This act of kindness from jen made me hate her so much more.

    珍的這一善舉使我更加討厭她。

  • I was like the devil will not let go.

    我就像惡魔一樣不會放手。

  • These claws are bone deep.

    這些爪子深可見骨。

  • So what did I do?

    那麼我做了什麼?

  • Was I finally forced to have that hard conversation?

    我終於被迫進行這種艱難的對話了嗎?

  • Did I finally tell jen about my grievances?

    我終於把我的委屈告訴了Jen嗎?

  • No, I decided I would only give jen back half of her clothes and at that point that she would have no choice.

    不,我決定只把一半的衣服還給珍,到那時,她就沒有選擇了。

  • Oh my God beth ex bestie, I cannot believe you.

    哦,我的上帝,貝絲的前女友,我不能相信你。

  • I offered you forgiveness.

    我向你提供了寬恕。

  • I offered you grace and you only return half of my ship.

    我給了你恩惠,你卻只歸還我一半的船。

  • Not even the good ship because of my billet box center.

    甚至連好船都沒有,因為我的鋼坯箱中心。

  • So you better give it all back or else my daddy is filing a police report against your daddy.

    所以你最好把錢都還給我,否則我爸爸會向警察舉報你爸爸。

  • I literally cheered after this phone call because I had finally done it.

    這通電話之後,我真的歡呼起來,因為我終於做到了。

  • I had pissed Jenoff enough for her to end our friendship and fast forward to 15 years.

    我把傑諾夫氣得夠嗆,讓她結束了我們的友誼,快到15年了。

  • All I can say is what the funk was that right?

    我只能說,那是怎樣的一種樂趣?

  • Like I can't believe I was so afraid of just telling this girl that her behavior was hurting me that I committed a crime like it is insane to me how desperate I was to evade any real talk.

    就像我無法相信我是如此害怕告訴這個女孩她的行為傷害了我,以至於我犯了罪,就像我是多麼絕望地迴避任何真正的談話一樣,這對我來說是瘋狂的。

  • And also incredibly unfair of me because jen is clearly capable of kindness.

    而且我也感到非常不公平,因為Jen顯然是有能力善良的。

  • Clearly she was willing to forgive me for stealing her billabong sweater.

    顯然,她願意原諒我偷了她的billabong毛衣。

  • And I always wonder if I had just expressed myself in those moments when Jed's said or did something and given her the chance to adjust her behavior, how would our friendship have gone?

    而我總是在想,如果我在傑德說過或做過的那些時刻,只是表達自己,給她機會調整她的行為,我們的友誼會如何發展?

  • I did see gen one last time after that and she said, you know, all you had to do was just asked to borrow my clothes.

    在那之後,我確實最後一次見到玄,她說,你知道,你所要做的只是要求借用我的衣服。

  • I mean, Megan does it all the time.

    我的意思是,梅根一直在這樣做。

  • She asked to borrow a piece.

    她要求借一塊。

  • And then I never see it again to the point where I know now that when she's borrowing clothes, she just intends to keep them, you really didn't need to do all of that.

    然後我再也沒有看到它,以至於我現在知道,當她借衣服的時候,她只是打算保留它們,你真的不需要做這些事。

  • You could have just stolen it one piece at a time, you know at the end, a very diabolical genius.

    你可以一次偷一塊,你知道在最後,一個非常邪惡的天才。

  • So when you're tempted to carry the clothes, a metaphor for your resentments.

    是以,當你想拿著衣服的時候,比喻你的怨恨。

  • Think about this story because it's one thing if you tell someone about how their behavior has affected you and then they don't change.

    想想這個故事,因為如果你告訴別人他們的行為對你有什麼影響,然後他們不改變,這是一件事。

  • But having a hard conversation just reframe it.

    但是,進行艱難的對話時,只要重新規劃一下就可以了。

  • It's a way of saying to someone I love you, I care about you, I want to keep you in and to do that this relationship or this behavior needs to change.

    這是一種對某人說我愛你、我關心你、我想留住你的方式,為了做到這一點,這種關係或這種行為需要改變。

  • Having a hard conversation is showing the other person respect, it's showing them that you value them and it's showing that you're willing to be honest and work on it.

    進行艱難的對話是向對方表示尊重,是向對方表示你重視他們,是向對方表示你願意誠實和努力。

  • So don't wait like if you have things you know that are gonna build up and you know that this is going to solidify into resentment, give that person the chance to validate your feelings, make space for you and adjust accordingly.

    所以不要等待,比如你有一些你知道會積累起來的東西,你知道這將會固化為怨恨,給那個人機會來驗證你的感受,為你留出空間並作出相應的調整。

  • And at 33 I can tell you this.

    33歲的我可以告訴你這一點。

  • All of my friendships that have made it through the ringer have this in common any time a hard conversation comes up, it usually goes like this.

    我所有經歷過的友誼都有這樣的共同點,任何時候出現困難的對話,通常都是這樣的。

  • Hey.

    嘿。

  • So I know you didn't mean anything bad by it, but yesterday at dinner when you told me to be quiet in front of everyone, it made me feel like sad and small and I didn't really like it.

    所以我知道你沒有什麼惡意,但昨天吃飯時你讓我在大家面前保持安靜,這讓我覺得自己很傷心,很渺小,我不太喜歡這樣。

  • Oh my God babe, I'm so sorry.

    哦,我的上帝,寶貝,我很抱歉。

  • That makes total sense And you're absolutely right.

    這完全有道理,而且你說得很對。

  • I don't, I don't even know why I did that.

    我不,我甚至不知道我為什麼這麼做。

  • I think I was trying to be mindful of everyone else in the restaurant, but also like you're my friend, so why would I give a shit about any of them?

    我想我是想注意餐廳裡的其他人,但也像你是我的朋友,所以我為什麼要關心他們中的任何一個?

  • I am so sorry.

    我非常抱歉。

  • That makes total sense and your feelings are valid.

    這完全是有道理的,你的感受是有效的。

  • I won't do it again.

    我不會再這樣做了。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你。

  • Now be quiet you dumb bit.

    現在安靜點,你這個蠢貨。

  • I am.

    我是。

  • I'm a dumb bitch.

    我是一個愚蠢的婊子。

  • I know I love you.

    我知道我是愛你的。

  • I'm anaconda.

    我是巨蟒。

  • Thank you to the patrons who supported today's video and thank you as always to my father, my literal biological dad squarespace for sponsoring today's episode.

    感謝支持今天視頻的贊助人,並一如既往地感謝我的父親,我字面上的親生父親squarespace對今天的節目的贊助。

  • So daddy squarespace makes it easy for creators to monetize their content and expertise in a way that fits their brand with member areas.

    所以,爸爸squarespace讓創作者很容易以適合他們品牌的方式,通過會員區來實現其內容和專業知識的貨幣化。

  • You can unlock a new revenue stream for your business and free of time in your schedule by selling access to gated content like videos, online courses or newsletters.

    你可以通過出售視頻、在線課程或通訊等有門檻的內容,為你的業務開闢一個新的收入來源,並在你的日程安排中釋放時間。

  • Plus online booking and scheduling is available, making it easier than ever for clients to schedule classes or sessions because they have easy access to your availability and can reschedule online.

    再加上在線預訂和安排,使客戶比以往任何時候都更容易安排課程或療程,因為他們可以很容易地獲得你的可用性,並可以在線重新安排。

  • So no more coordinating calendars or any of that hassle for you.

    是以,沒有更多的協調日曆或任何這些麻煩的事情給你。

  • If you are a content creator like myself and you use video, they have a video studio app that helps you create pro level videos effortlessly and share those engaging videos so that you can tell your story, grow your audience and drive sales.

    如果你像我一樣是一個內容創作者,並且你使用視頻,他們有一個視頻工作室應用程序,幫助你毫不費力地創建專業水準的視頻,並分享這些吸引人的視頻,這樣你就可以講述你的故事,增加你的觀眾和推動銷售。

  • You can go to squarespace dot com for a free trial and whenever you're ready to launch, go to squarespace dot com slash anna and use code anNA for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

    你可以去squarespace dot com進行免費試用,無論何時你準備推出,去squarespace dot com slash anna,使用代碼anNA,首次購買網站或域名可獲得10%的折扣。

there's a lot that can destroy your relationships lack of trust, wow, that is a very interesting choice of wardrobe for a first date, lying, Hey babe, does this outfit make me look fat?

有很多東西可以破壞你們的關係 缺乏信任,哇,這是一個非常有趣的第一次約會的衣著選擇,說謊,嘿,寶貝,這身衣服讓我看起來很胖嗎?

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B1 中級 中文

毀壞關係的一件事 (The one thing that destroys relationships)

  • 6 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2023 年 01 月 23 日
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