This video discusses the differences between a codependent relationship and authentic love to give an insight into what people may experience.

這段視頻討論了依賴關係和真實的愛之間的區別，讓人們深入瞭解人們可能經歷的情況。

But if you are having codependent thoughts, that doesn't mean you aren't genuinely in love with another person.

但如果你有依賴性的想法，這並不意味著你不是真正地愛上了另一個人。

Number one choice.

頭號選擇。

What codependent may sound like I need you and I know you need me, I can't live without you and I know that you can't live without me.

依賴性聽起來可能是我需要你，我知道你需要我，我不能沒有你，我知道你不能沒有我。

What authentic love may sound like I choose to be in a relationship with you and you choose to be with me.

真實的愛聽起來可能是我選擇與你建立關係，你選擇與我在一起。

I enjoy being in your company and appreciate spending time with you.

我喜歡和你在一起，感謝和你在一起的時間。

However, I am also happy having my alone time.

然而，我也很高興有自己的獨處時間。

I do not rely on you alone to make me happy In a codependent relationship, there has to exist.

我不依賴你一個人讓我快樂 在一個依賴關係中，必須存在著。

A level of dependency either from one person or both parties involved, making somebody else feel responsible for your happiness and your well being is a form of emotional manipulation.

一個人或雙方的依賴程度，讓別人覺得對你的幸福和你的福祉負責是一種情感操縱。

Choice is an important factor in in any relationship.

選擇是任何關係中的一個重要因素。

When individuals feel that they are making a choice in any relationship.

當個人覺得他們在任何關係中都在做選擇。

This allows an individual to feel that they have a sense of control.

這讓一個人感到他們有一種控制感。

When people don't feel like they have a choice, this can cause pressure and individuals may feel trapped or that they cannot actively be in control of what is happening in their relationships.

當人們覺得他們沒有選擇時，這可能會導致壓力，個人可能會感到被困住，或者他們不能主動控制他們關係中發生的事情。

People should be in relationships with each other because they want to and not because they feel that they need to number two dependent what codependent may sound like I need you to feel okay otherwise I will not be okay.

人們應該與對方建立關係，因為他們想這樣做，而不是因為他們覺得他們需要這樣做，第二種依賴可能聽起來像我需要你感覺好，否則我不會好。

What authentic love may sound like you are your own person and are allowed to experience feelings without judgment from me.

什麼是真正的愛，聽起來就像你是你自己的人，允許你體驗感情而不需要我的評判。

People's feelings should not be dependent on others and this could come across as emotional manipulation because people should be free to experience their own emotions and feelings with about being made to feel that their mood or how they're feeling is based on how their partner feels or that they should be okay in order for their partner to be as well.

人們的感受不應該依賴於他人，這可能會被認為是情感操縱，因為人們應該自由地體驗自己的情緒和感受，而不應該被認為他們的情緒或他們的感受是基於他們的伴侶的感受，或者他們應該沒事，以便他們的伴侶也是如此。

When your identity is based solely on people pleasing and you feel responsible for everyone's well being, you might find yourself reacting to situations rather than by your own choice.

當你的身份完全建立在取悅於人的基礎上，你覺得對每個人的福祉負責，你可能會發現自己對情況做出反應，而不是由自己選擇。

Number three communication.

三號通信。

What codependency may sound like you should know what I need.

依賴性可能聽起來像什麼，你應該知道我需要什麼。

If I have to explain it to you then you clearly don't listen to me or understand me properly.

如果我必須向你解釋，那麼你顯然沒有聽我說，也沒有正確理解我。

What an authentic love may sound like.

一個真實的愛可能聽起來像什麼。

I will communicate my needs to you openly and not just expect you to know what I need.

我將公開向你傳達我的需求，而不是隻期望你知道我需要什麼。

A codependent mindset makes it hard to communicate effectively as people are often unaware of their own wants and needs and when people are aware they may be reluctant to express them dishonesty can also develop as a habit when people are more interested in maintaining a sense of control than actually communicating.

依賴心態使人們難以有效溝通，因為人們往往不知道自己的願望和需要，當人們意識到時，他們可能不願意表達，當人們對保持控制感比實際溝通更感興趣時，不誠實也會發展成為一種習慣。

In order for any relationship to be successful, individuals must learn to communicate honestly and effectively.

為了使任何關係獲得成功，個人必須學會誠實和有效地溝通。

# four support what codependency may sound like.

#四支持依賴性可能聽起來像什麼。

If you do not support me, I will guilt trip you show you understand that I am not happy what authentic love may sound like.

如果你不支持我，我就會讓你感到內疚，讓你明白我並不快樂，真實的愛可能聽起來是這樣的。

I will ask for support from you and others when I need it, I will not take my anger out on you if you can't support me in the way that I need it at the time, stress can play a huge factor in any relationship, especially when there are communication and boundary issues.

當我需要時，我會向你和其他人尋求支持，如果你不能以我當時需要的方式支持我，我不會把我的憤怒發洩在你身上，壓力在任何關係中都會起到巨大的作用，特別是當存在溝通和邊界問題時。

Codependent partners may feel insecure about being abandoned, being alone and not being supported by their partner.

依賴型伴侶可能對被拋棄、孤獨和不被伴侶支持感到沒有安全感。

As a result, they may end up taking their frustration out on their partners and blaming them unnecessarily, which can cause relationship stress number five boundaries.

是以，他們最終可能會把他們的挫折感發洩在他們的伴侶身上，並不必要地指責他們，這可能會導致關係壓力的第五條界限。

What codependency may sound like, I will blame you and shame you for not doing what I want you to do.

依賴性聽起來可能是這樣的，我會責備你，讓你感到羞恥，因為你沒有做我想讓你做的事。

What authentic love may sound like I respect your boundaries and do my best to discuss them with you.

真實的愛聽起來可能是這樣的，我尊重你的界限，並盡我所能與你討論它們。

If I overstepped them in the same way I will inform you about my boundaries and communicate how I want to be treated and spoken to people in both roles in a codependent relationship tend to have problems recognizing respecting and reinforcing boundaries, having boundaries is about having respect for each other and recognizing that individuals are not responsible for other people's happiness setting and maintaining boundaries is an important skill that cannot be ignored in any relationship.

如果我以同樣的方式逾越了它們，我會告知你我的界限，並傳達我希望如何被對待和說話，在依賴關係中處於兩種角色的人往往在認識到尊重和加強界限方面有問題，有界限是指對彼此的尊重，並認識到個人不對其他人的幸福負責設置和維護界限是任何關係中都不能忽視的重要技能。

Number six.

六號。

Control what codependency may sound like you would do what I asked if you truly loved me what authentic love may sound like.

控制依賴可能聽起來像什麼，如果你真的愛我，你會做我所要求的，真實的愛可能聽起來像什麼。

I understand that there will be times when we disagree on things, but that does not dictate whether you love me or not.

我明白，有時我們會在一些事情上有分歧，但這並不決定你是否愛我。

We will communicate those differences openly and resolve any differences with love and respect.

我們將公開溝通這些分歧，並以愛和尊重解決任何分歧。

Typically neither person in a codependent relationship has very good self esteem which will often involve seeking approval or validation from others and wanting to have a sense of purpose.

通常情況下，依賴關係中的兩個人都沒有很好的自尊心，這往往涉及到從他人那裡尋求認可或驗證，並希望有一種目的感。

If these factors are not met, this can lead to further insecurity, controlling behavior and emotional manipulation and number seven self worth.

如果這些因素沒有得到滿足，就會導致進一步的不安全感，控制行為和情緒操縱，第七號自我價值。

What codependency may sound like I need to feel wanted and needed by you.

依賴性聽起來可能是我需要感覺到被你想要和需要。

I don't feel valued by you.

我不覺得自己受到你的重視。

If you don't show me that what authentic love may sound like I am valued and worthy without needing approval from others.

如果你不向我展示，真正的愛聽起來可能是我的價值和價值，而不需要別人的準許。

My role is to be a supportive partner, not a therapist or to try and fix other people's problems.

我的角色是成為一個支持性的夥伴，而不是一個治療師或試圖解決其他人的問題。

One of the major signs of co dependency is either feeling a sense of responsibility towards others, to take care of them or expecting others to take care of us.

共同依賴的主要標誌之一是對他人有一種責任感，要照顧他們或期望他人照顧我們。

An example of this may stem from childhood when the caretaker learns there may be negative consequences for failing to take care of the parents needs.

這方面的一個例子可能來自於童年，當時照顧者瞭解到如果不照顧父母的需要，可能會有負面的後果。

This fear of something bad happening causes people to take care of others, rather than it being out of genuine affection, which may indicate codependency.

這種對壞事發生的恐懼導致人們照顧他人，而不是出於真正的感情，這可能表明有依賴性。

Can you relate to any of these signs?

你能與這些跡象中的任何一個聯繫起來嗎？

Let us know in the comments below and share this video with others who might benefit.

請在下面的評論中告訴我們，並與其他可能受益的人分享這個視頻。

As always, the references and studies used are in the description below.

一如既往，所使用的參考資料和研究都在下面的描述中。

Until next time.

直到下一次。

Friends take care and thanks for watching.

朋友們保重，感謝你們的關注。