Relationship experts all around the world have been trying to uncover the secrets of that passionate feeling that makes us blush and smile from ear to ear today we know about different types of love and different love languages and recently we're beginning to understand different behaviors we exhibit in a relationship experts call these behaviors love styles.

全世界的關係專家一直在努力揭開那種讓我們臉紅心跳、笑口常開的激情的祕密，今天我們知道了不同類型的愛和不同的愛的語言，最近我們開始瞭解我們在關係中表現出的不同行為，專家把這些行為稱為愛的風格。

They define how you associate and relate to your romantic partner.

它們定義了你如何與你的浪漫伴侶聯繫和相處。

The special thing about them is that they stem from our childhood experiences according to licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr Milan and K.

有執照的婚姻和家庭治療師米蘭和K博士說，它們的特殊之處在於，它們源於我們的童年經歷。

Djurkovic.

久爾科維奇。

There are five distinct love styles.

有五種不同的愛情風格。

In today's video we'll tell you a little bit about each one and how you can recognize the way your partner feels about love.

在今天的視頻中，我們將告訴你每個人的一些情況，以及你如何識別你的伴侶對愛的感覺。

Number one, the victim, If your partner's love style is the victim, there's a chance they grew up in a dysfunctional family where they couldn't voice their opinions in relationships, victims usually suppress their anger which then leads to passive aggressive behaviors.

第一，受害者，如果你的伴侶的愛情風格是受害者，有可能他們在一個不健全的家庭中長大，在關係中無法表達自己的意見，受害者通常會壓抑自己的憤怒，然後導致被動攻擊行為。

Have you noticed those behaviors in your partner?

你是否注意到你的伴侶的這些行為？

They might be giving you silent treatments using sarcastic remarks or avoiding you completely.

他們可能會用諷刺的話語對你進行沉默處理，或者完全避開你。

If there's a disagreement to make your relationship with the victim better, you should try acknowledging their feelings when they try using passive a christian against you use kindness as a counter attack, Tell them something like I see something is upsetting you would you like to tell me what's going on?

如果有分歧，為了使你和受害者的關係更好，你應該嘗試承認他們的感受，當他們試圖用消極的基督徒來對付你時，用善意作為反擊，告訴他們一些事情，比如我看到有些事情讓你不高興，你想告訴我發生了什麼嗎？

I'll be happy to listen this way they feel like their voices heard and they'll know that they're safe to express themselves in a healthy way.

我會很高興地聽著，這樣他們會覺得自己的聲音被聽到了，他們會知道自己是安全的，可以以健康的方式表達自己。

Number two, the pleaser the pleaser grew up thinking that they need to satisfy everyone but themselves.

第二，討好者討好者在成長過程中認為他們需要滿足所有人，而不是自己。

If your partner is a pleaser, you might notice they're always there to comfort you anytime day or night.

如果你的伴侶是一個討好者，你可能會注意到他們總是在那裡隨時安慰你，無論白天還是晚上。

They barely ever argue with you and often let it be your way to avoid trouble and conflict.

他們幾乎不與你爭論，經常讓你避免麻煩和衝突。

And they might say phrases like I don't want to annoy you or I don't want you to be angry.

他們可能會說一些短語，如我不想惹你生氣或我不想讓你生氣。

Pleasers are visibly committed to your relationship and maybe that's why you got attracted to them in the first place.

討好者明顯地致力於你們的關係，也許這就是你一開始就被他們吸引的原因。

But sometimes they can backfire.

但有時它們會適得其反。

Then they might start feeling stuck and unsupported.

然後，他們可能會開始感到困頓和無助。

They might feel they have to mask their feelings and pretend nothing is ever wrong just to keep the peace as their romantic partner remind them that neither of you are perfect and that's okay.

他們可能覺得他們必須掩飾自己的感受，假裝什麼都沒有錯，只是為了保持和平，因為他們的浪漫伴侶提醒他們，你們都不完美，這沒關係。

Let them know that you're willing to listen to them and encourage them to be open and honest about their worries so far.

讓他們知道你願意傾聽他們的意見，並鼓勵他們開誠佈公地講述他們迄今為止的憂慮。

What do you think about these love styles?

你對這些愛的方式有什麼看法？

You think something about them sounds familiar.

你覺得他們的一些情況聽起來很熟悉。

Each of these love styles is rooted deep into a person's childhood and is connected to something called the attachment theory.

每一種愛的方式都深深紮根於一個人的童年，並與一種叫做依戀理論的東西相聯繫。

If you don't know what that is and are curious to find out.

如果你不知道那是什麼，又好奇地想知道。

Check out this video of ours Number three, The Vasa later, the vast later love style describes a person who really wants connection and is somewhat a hopeless romantic, they idealize new relationships, hoping and longing for attention and love, but they seek the type of love they see in the movies.

看看我們的這段視頻 第三，瓦薩後期，龐大的後期愛情風格描述的是一個真正想要聯繫的人，有點像無望的浪漫主義者，他們將新的關係理想化，希望並渴望得到關注和愛，但他們尋求在電影中看到的那種愛情。

Sometimes they might feel unfulfilled.

有時他們可能會感到不滿足。

That's when they might say things like I don't feel heard, I don't feel important to you, you don't get me, I'm done.

這時他們可能會說一些話，比如我不覺得自己的聲音被聽到，我不覺得自己對你很重要，你不理解我，我不幹了。

As a result, you could both feel frustrated and confused to have a healthy relationship with a vaccine later.

結果是，你們都可能感到沮喪和困惑，以便以後與疫苗建立健康的關係。

You need to provide them with emotional support and be willing to listen.

你需要為他們提供情感支持並願意傾聽。

You want them to feel heard and appreciated that way.

你想讓他們感覺到自己的聲音被聽到了，並以這種方式得到讚賞。

Even though they won't get their fairytale relationship, they might stop questioning themselves so much and start enjoying your love.

儘管他們不會得到童話般的關係，但他們可能不再那麼質疑自己，開始享受你的愛。

Number four, the avoider avoiders didn't share their feelings and affection while they were growing up.

第四，迴避者在成長過程中沒有分享他們的感情和親情。

As a result in romantic relationships.

作為戀愛關係中的一個結果。

They don't know how to express their love verbally.

他們不知道如何用言語表達他們的愛。

Does that sound like your partner instead they prefer showing it through their actions.

這是否聽起來像你的伴侶，而他們更喜歡通過他們的行動表現出來。

Which could be a bad thing if there's someone who likes to be told that you're loved.

這可能是一件壞事，如果有一個人喜歡被告知你被愛。

Your partner might also be an avoider physical and I feel awkward cuddling or kissing.

你的伴侶也可能是一個迴避身體的人，我覺得擁抱或接吻很尷尬。

I believe you touch If you want your relationship with an avoider to thrive, you need to make sure understand, explain that every once in a while but let them be the one to initiate it compromise is a key to feeling good with an avoider during conflicts trying to give them time to cool off since they don't really respond to emotions and number five the controller, a person with this love style learned to do things on their own.

我相信你會觸摸到 如果你想讓你與迴避者的關係茁壯成長，你需要確保理解，每隔一段時間就解釋一下，但讓他們成為一個主動的人 妥協是與迴避者在衝突中感覺良好的關鍵，試圖給他們時間來冷卻，因為他們並不真正迴應情感和第五號控制器，一個有這種愛情風格的人學會自己做事情。

At a young age, they grew up believing that being in control means that they are strong and capable.

在年輕的時候，他們長大了，相信控制意味著他們是強大和有能力的。

Today when a controller is in a relationship, they tend to showcase their decisiveness and ability to take charge With a controller.

今天，當一個控制者在一段關係中，他們往往會展示他們的果斷和能力，以控制者的身份負責。

You don't have to spend 30 minutes deciding where to go out and they know what they want right away.

你不需要花30分鐘來決定去哪裡玩，他們馬上就知道自己想要什麼。

In some cases this means they're confident in themselves, but sometimes it may go into toxic behavior, you may start to be afraid of their controlling.

在某些情況下，這意味著他們對自己有信心，但有時可能會進入有毒行為，你可能開始害怕他們的控制。

They might try to control the way you dress, who you hang out with or who you talk to you on your phone if you're doing it's important work on your self esteem, learn how to set boundaries and I respect you too in your love desired.

他們可能會試圖控制你的穿著，你和誰一起出去玩，或者你和你的電話交談，如果你在做這是很重要的工作，在你的自尊上，學會如何設置界限，我也尊重你在你的愛情所需。

However, if your lifestyle is ignored or not understood, you may feel insecure, taking for granted and bitter towards your partner and in turn your partner feels the same way.

然而，如果你的生活方式被忽視或不被理解，你可能會感到不安全，認為這是理所當然的，並對你的伴侶感到痛苦，反過來你的伴侶也有同樣的感覺。

This is what makes love styles so important by openly communicating what you need and listening to what your partner needs.

這就是愛情方式的重要性，通過公開交流你的需求，傾聽你的伴侶的需求。

You can develop a more fulfilling relationship.

你可以發展一種更充實的關係。

What do you think?

你怎麼看？

Which love style describes your partner the best?

哪種愛情風格最能描述你的伴侶？

Is that compatible with the way you love?

這與你的愛的方式兼容嗎？