Their ability to feel what others feel means.

他們能夠感受到別人的感受，這意味著。

They have a very high social tolerance and a strong drive to help or save people to top it off, compassion and affection actively flow from them, which makes Narcissists, they're customized predators.

他們有非常高的社會容忍度和強烈的幫助或拯救別人的動力，最重要的是，同情心和感情主動從他們身上流露出來，這使得自戀者，他們是定製的掠奪者。

The narcissists, voracious need to feed is bottomless.

自戀者，貪婪的需求是無底線的。

They're custom made to trap and hold onto empath, draining them and never giving them back.

他們是定製的，用來困住並抓住同理心，耗盡他們的精力，並永遠不給他們回報。

The empath believes they're providing compassion like a safety blanket, when in reality, the narcissist is using that same compassion as an anchor for their hooks.

移情者認為他們提供的是像安全毯一樣的同情心，而實際上，自戀者是在用這種同情心作為他們的鉤子的錨。

Dislodging and escaping those hooks requires shattering illusions about the Narcissist and revealing the faults inherent to the source of empathic behaviors, So grab a glass of water as some hard to swallow pills are being served doesn't taste great, but they're good for you.

解除和擺脫這些鉤子需要打破對自戀者的幻想，並揭示移情行為來源的固有缺陷。是以，在一些難以吞嚥的藥片被送來時，抓起一杯水並不好吃，但它們對你有好處。

Number one.

第一。

Narcissists will never fulfill the covert contract.

自戀者永遠不會履行隱祕的契約。

Here's the hard truth.

這是一個艱難的事實。

On some level, we all do things for some sort of self benefit.

在某種程度上，我們做事情都是為了某種自我利益。

A holy person fasts to reach a higher plane of consciousness.

聖潔的人禁食是為了達到更高的意識層面。

Giving to charity feels good because we're helping others and empathize give goodness to get goodness.

向慈善機構捐贈的感覺很好，因為我們在幫助別人，並感同身受地給予善意以獲得善意。

That's their covert contract.

這就是他們的祕密合同。

Never heard of that.

從未聽說過這一點。

Well, you wouldn't have as being unspoken is the nature of the covert contract.

嗯，你不會有，因為不言而喻是祕密合同的性質。

It also fuels the hamster wheel of resentment.

這也助長了怨恨的倉鼠輪。

The contract is an implicit expectation that giving emotionally earns a return of fulfilled emotional needs, admitting the expectation is a breach of contract, the empath perceiving themselves selfish and effective.

契約是一種隱含的期望，即在情感上的付出會贏得情感需求滿足的回報，承認這種期望是對契約的違背，移情者認為自己是自私的、有效的。

So when they don't get their meets net, they ramp up the output, assuming they haven't earned the return all the while, silently feeling hurt, worthless and resentful unspoken expectation is frustrating for anyone with a narcissist, it's a disaster to provide any return.

是以，當他們沒有得到他們的滿足網，他們就會加大產出，假設他們還沒有贏得回報，同時，默默地感到受到傷害，沒有價值和怨恨的不言而喻的期望，對於任何有自戀者的人來說都是令人沮喪的，提供任何回報都是災難。

You have to care about the other person and narcissists don't.

你必須關心對方，而自戀者並不關心。

They see others as mere feeding trials.

他們把別人看作是單純的餵養試驗。

And if a regular person is a snack, an empath is a catered all you can eat buffet to leave the wheel.

如果一個普通人是一種小吃，那麼一個移情者就是一個可以吃的自助餐，可以離開車輪。

The empath might need to admit their underlying beliefs.

同理心者可能需要承認他們的基本信念。

Face themselves, learn that they are absolutely in their right to enforce their boundaries and ask for what they need while stating it kindly and respectfully.

面對自己，學習他們絕對有權利執行自己的界限，並要求得到他們所需要的東西，同時善意地和尊重地說明。

Of course, number two, you can't save someone who doesn't want it.

當然，第二，你無法拯救一個不想要的人。

Empath swan to help improve and save people.

異能者天鵝，幫助改善和拯救人們。

They think I could really help them if I Which can work to an extent for many but not with a narcissist to accept help means you need assistance.

他們認為我真的可以幫助他們，如果我哪能在一定程度上對許多人起作用，但對自戀者來說，接受幫助意味著你需要援助。

Assistance is needed because there's something that needs to change, changes are made because something could be better if it can be better.

需要援助是因為有一些東西需要改變，做出改變是因為一些東西可以更好，如果它可以更好的話。

That means it wasn't perfect before it follows that accepting help about your behavior means accepting the idea that you could improve or change.

這意味著之前並不完美，是以接受關於你的行為的幫助意味著接受你可以改進或改變的想法。

Narcissists by definition of their condition.

自戀者根據其條件的定義。

Believe themselves and constantly impressed on others that they are idealized beings.

相信自己並不斷給別人留下印象，認為自己是理想化的人。

So they don't need help.

所以他們不需要幫助。

They don't need to fix what isn't broken, lacking empathy, Narcissists feel no issues in feeding off others for ego maintenance, they enjoy it.

他們不需要修復沒有壞掉的東西，缺乏同情心，自戀者覺得靠別人來維持自我沒有問題，他們喜歡這樣。

If they accepted help, they'd be double whammy and they'd have to stop feeding and they'd have to admit they need some fixing the bitter pill is you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

如果他們接受幫助，他們就會受到雙重打擊，他們不得不停止餵食，他們不得不承認他們需要一些修復，苦澀的藥丸是你無法幫助那些不想被幫助的人。

They won't fix something they don't see as broken solution, take a healthy swallow of water and realize their delusion is not your problem.

他們不會修復他們不認為是壞掉的東西的解決方案，健康地嚥下一口水，意識到他們的妄想不是你的問題。

Number three emotions can't replace your brain.

第三，情緒不能取代你的大腦。

This is not simply a gut feeling.

這並不是簡單的直覺。

A gut feeling is often due to real evidence that is subconsciously picked up but just isn't in clear detail and pass fall prey to emotional thinking.

直覺往往是由於真實的證據，是下意識地拾起的，但只是沒有明確的細節，並通過落入情緒化的思考。

Emotional thinking is based completely off feeling, overriding logic, reason and anything else presented.

情緒化的思維完全基於感覺，凌駕於邏輯、理性和其他任何東西之上。

Even if it's opposing hard tangible evidence.

即使是反對的硬性有形證據。

This is a risk when emotions are your superpower.

當情緒是你的超級力量時，這是一種風險。

Sometimes they go rogue, making the person turn away from the facts.

有時他們會耍流氓，使人背離事實。

An example is when someone feels they're stupid despite achieving average or higher than average grades or even a degree like any predator.

一個例子是，儘管某人取得了平均或高於平均水平的成績，甚至像任何掠奪者一樣取得了學位，但他還是覺得自己很愚蠢。

Narcissists sniff out the opportunity, knowing that empathy tend to choose emotion over evidence.

自戀者嗅到了機會，因為他們知道移情往往會選擇情感而不是證據。

They're set up as easy prey to fool and trap the narcissist simply overwhelms the empathy, compassion, trigger the empath who is completely unquestioning of their emotional thinking can disregard any and all other abuses and signs to help or care for the poor victim any questioning and the narcissist cranks the dial on the heart.

他們被設定為容易被愚弄和陷害的獵物，自戀者只是壓倒了同情心、憐憫心，觸發了同理心，他們的情感思維完全不受質疑，可以無視任何和所有其他的虐待和跡象，幫助或照顧可憐的受害者任何質疑，自戀者搖動了心臟的錶盤。

String puller steering the empath away from outside.

拉繩者引導移情者遠離外界。

Wisdoms or truths To break free.

智慧或真理 要掙脫。

The empath needs to value their mind and ask questions.

同理心者需要重視自己的思想並提出問題。

They have a right to know.

他們有知情權。

# four narcissists are disordered and morally bankrupt.

# 四個自戀者是紊亂的，道德淪喪的。

The definition of bankrupt is completely lacking in a particular quality or value, thus being morally bankrupt.

破產的定義是完全缺乏某種品質或價值，是以在道德上是破產的。

Narcissists can't be trusted to do what most people would do.

不能相信自戀者會做大多數人都會做的事。

Most people will have some level of predictability to to identifying with how others feel.

大多數人對認同他人的感受會有一定程度的可預測性。

For example, they won't lie to someone about their partner because it will hurt them or wreck their relationship.

例如，他們不會向別人謊稱自己的伴侶，因為這會傷害他們或破壞他們的關係。

Narcissists, since they lack empathy, their emotions are centered around themselves.

自戀者，因為他們缺乏同情心，所以他們的情緒是以自己為中心。

They feel superior and self entitled to favorable treatment.

他們覺得自己高人一等，有資格獲得有利的待遇。

How they choose to act depends only on personal gain, meaning.

他們如何選擇行動只取決於個人利益，意義。

They will lie to someone about their partner if it breaks them up.

如果讓他們分手，他們會向別人謊報他們的伴侶。

Giving the narcissist a fresh ego feeding supply.

給予自戀者新鮮的自我餵養供應。

Unpredictability is cliffhanger like and it gets worse when they feel their supply pulling away or getting low, the empath gets clingy er or more attentive, trying to anticipate which way the narcissist will go.

不可預測性是懸而未決的，當他們感覺到自己的供應拉開或變得低迷時，情況會變得更糟，移情者會變得粘人呃或更專注，試圖預測自戀者會走哪條路。

Thus the narcissist gets more attention and has reeled their supply back in, compassionate benefit of the doubt is employed by the empath to disregard or hand wave, questionable behaviors.

是以，自戀者得到了更多的關注，並把他們的供應重新拉了回來，同情心的好處被移情者用來無視或揮手，有問題的行為。

However, this needs to stop in order to confirm if they're being used questioning or calling them out, cuts off their supply, threatens the narcissists idealized image and forces them to look at their own insecurities they would now view the empathy as useless, maybe even dangerous, they will leave them alone and by doing this, the manipulation stops number five, it's all a fantasy, it's not real.

然而，這需要停止，以確認他們是否被利用質疑或叫他們出來，切斷他們的供應，威脅到自戀者的理想化形象，並迫使他們看看自己的不安全感他們現在會認為共鳴是無用的，甚至可能是危險的，他們會離開他們，通過這樣做，操縱停止第五，這都是幻想，這不是真實的。

This is a twofold fantasy.

這是個兩方面的幻想。

On the first level, the Narcissists live in their own fantasy world of overblown self importance, where everything revolves around their idealized selves.

在第一個層面上，自戀者生活在他們自己的幻想世界裡，過度誇大自我的重要性，一切都圍繞著他們理想化的自我。

The second level is the m paths allowing themselves to be fooled by the Narcissists fantasy.

第二層是允許自己被自戀者的幻想所迷惑的M路徑。

They're manipulated into focusing on saving the narcissist and believing they will receive love in return, neither which can nor will come true.

他們被操縱，專注於拯救自戀者，並相信他們會得到愛的回報，但這一切都不可能也不會實現。

The whole fantasy may be spun into a grand, tragic romance of soulmates seeking to complete each other when in truth, it plays out more like a karmic lesson of this is exactly everything love is not the empath has to in order to escape except this disappointing truth and learn from it.

整個幻想可能會被旋轉成一個宏大的、悲劇性的靈魂伴侶尋求完成彼此的浪漫，而事實上，它更像是一個因果報應的教訓，這正是愛情不是的一切，移情者必須為了逃避，除了這個令人失望的事實，並從中學習。

Number six, abuse means genuine love was never part of the picture.

第六，虐待意味著真正的愛從來不是畫面的一部分。

Love does not involve abuse.

愛並不涉及虐待。

This isn't negotiable abuse means this isn't an accident or a single bad day.

這不是可以商量的虐待，意味著這不是一個意外或單一的壞日子。

It's a pattern of repeated, purposeful, conscious garbage treatment over time.

這是一種長期重複的、有目的的、有意識的垃圾處理模式。

This also means that the fake affection can be from any type of constant interaction deemed a relationship.

這也意味著，假的感情可以來自任何類型的不斷互動，被視為一種關係。

It could be romantic familial or even that coworker who does you a solid If there is a habitual pattern of abusive or denigrating behavior, they are devoid of emotional empathy, The bitter pill here.

這可能是浪漫的家庭關係，甚至是那個對你很好的同事，如果有虐待或詆譭行為的習慣模式，他們就沒有情感上的共鳴，這裡的苦藥。

It's one many of us non narcissists have a hard time with empath or not.

這是我們許多非自戀者很難接受的一個問題，無論是否有同情心。

The truth is that no matter how nice the Narcissist was at the beginning of the relationship or even after a fight, they never loved their partner.

事實是，無論自戀者在關係開始時或甚至在吵架後有多好，他們從未愛過自己的伴侶。

This is so emotionally, psychologically unbelievable.

這在感情上、心理上都是不可思議的。

The empath is grasping at shreds of reason, saying that surely some of it was real or it was real before something went wrong.

同理心者在抓著零碎的理由，說肯定有些是真實的，或者在出問題之前是真實的。

Hard fact is, Narcissism isn't a part time deal.

艱難的事實是，自戀並不是一個兼職的交易。

The whole thing was a purposefully built illusion.

整個事情是一個有目的的幻覺。

Every single thing they did or said was with the cold, singular purpose of keeping the ego meal, train running, getting past this and out of the Narcissist clutches means accepting that time lost can't be retrieved or reckoned into something true.

他們所做的每一件事或所說的每一句話，都是為了保持自我的飯菜，火車的運行，過了這關，離開自戀者的魔掌，就意味著接受失去的時間無法找回或計算成真實的東西。

They need to value their future.

他們需要重視自己的未來。

Stop letting it be drained and wasted by the Narcissist.

不要再讓它被自戀者榨乾和浪費了。

Their best option is to cut off the supply and walk.

他們最好的選擇是切斷供應，然後步行。

We understand that if you're an empath being in a similar situation or are currently in one those six truths probably felt like dry swallowing horse pills, like taking better medicine or waxing though the results of partaking have long term beneficial effects.

我們理解，如果你是一個同理心者正在類似的情況下，或者目前正處於這樣的情況下，這六個真相可能感覺就像幹吞馬肉，就像吃了更好的藥或者打蠟，儘管參加的結果有長期的有益影響。

There are also necessary truths to truly accept.

還有一些必要的真理需要真正接受。

In order to get out of the Narcissists tar pit, did you resonate with or recognize any of these points lend and share your insights in the comments, we've thrown our rope of hope and if it helps you or others, maybe you'll swing on to the next video.

為了走出自戀者的柏油坑，你是否對這些觀點產生了共鳴或認識，並在評論中分享你的見解，我們已經拋出了我們的希望之繩，如果它對你或其他人有幫助，也許你會擺到下一個視頻。